Well I couldn't help it, had to crank out another chapter immediately. There's so much these characters need to work through, so lots of story left! Thanks again for all of your kind words and for taking time the time to read this, it means so much. Enjoy…
She found his truck parked at The Landing Strip, an oddly named bar Rachel had always thought. After driving around for over an hour, this was the last place she thought to check. He had bolted from the doctor's office earlier in what she perceived as aggravation. She hadn't called him immediately upon leaving; waiting instead for him to come to his senses and contact her. Several hours later she found herself still waiting.
The bar was dimly lit causing her to squint her eyes immediately upon entering. She scanned the room for Puck to no avail. She did however spot Sam sitting at a table by himself. His back was turned to her and he remained completely still, sipping his beer, as Rachel seated herself on the opposite side of the table.
"I saw his truck outside." Rachel said, staring at Sam whose chair was turned to face the stage. He sat very stoic, eyes staring straight ahead.
"He went to the bathroom." Sam replied, taking another sip of his beer. Rachel noted a slight look of defeat on his face.
"He's not expecting me." Rachel said softly. A waitress appeared, setting a cocktail napkin in front of Rachel. Rachel shook her head at the offer of a beer or cocktail, instead asking for a glass of water with lemon.
"He told me." Sam said flatly, setting his beer on the table.
"Told you what?" Rachel sat up a little straighter, pretending she hadn't a clue what he was talking about. Sam shifted his body so he was facing Rachel.
"He told me you're pregnant." She was sure Sam could see right through her. "Though maybe that was just the beer talking."
"Oh." She mumbled. She was positive the expression on her face told Sam all he needed to know. Before either could say another word, a sharp shrill from the microphone on stage distracted them. It was karaoke night and though it was early, there still was never a big crowd clambering to sing. Rachel looked on in alarm as she watched Puck stagger across the stage, dragging the microphone stand behind him.
"This is for everyone who thinks I'm a fuck up." Puck raised an imaginary glass in the air, as a tune Rachel didn't recognize began playing. She could tell he had too much to drink already.
Can we forget about the things I said
When I was drunk
I didn't mean to call you that
I can't remember what was said
Or what you threw at me
Please tell me, Please tell me why?
My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my clothes on
I came in through the window last night
And you're gone, gone
Rachel shifted uncomfortably as Sam slammed his beer back down on the table. He jumped up from his seat and headed towards the stage.
It's no surprise to me
I am my own worst enemy
'Cause every now and then
I kick the living shit out of me
The smoke alarm is going off
When there's a cigarette
Still burning
Please tell me why?
My car is in the front yard
And I'm sleeping with my-
Sam grabbed Puck by the arm, cutting him off mid-sentence and shoving him across the stage, a steady stream of obscenities flowing from Puck's mouth as the microphone stand dropped with a thud behind them. Several bar patrons were booing at the interruption of the entertainment. Biting her lip, Rachel watched as Sam pushed Puck across the room and into the chair he had vacated just moments earlier.
"What are you doing here?" Puck slurred, as Sam seated himself next to Rachel.
"Why are you doing this Noah?" Rachel ignored his question.
"Doing what? I was just singing." He smiled. "I thought you liked singing Rach."
"That's not what I meant." She said, sternly. Sam shook his head as he watched Puck spin a salt shaker around. It tumbled over, flinging salt across the table. Puck pinched his fingers together, picking up a tiny amount of salt then dropping it back on the table. Even though he was clearly intoxicated, Puck knew exactly what Rachel was referring to.
"It's what you all expect, isn't it?" She hated to hear the gruffness in his voice. "I keep disappointing people, so why stop now?"
"Who do you think you've disappointed?" Rachel asked firmly. Puck slouched back in his seat.
"Where do I begin…" He sighed, his words still slurred. "My ma, my boss, you, Evans, Finn."
"You haven't disappointed me, Noah." She tried to reassure him. "I certainly don't always like your behavior, but you haven't disappointed me."
"I feel like I have." Puck argued, raising his voice slightly.
"Dude, you've got to stop doing this." Sam finally interjected. Rachel gave Sam a sympathetic nod, before turning her attention back to Puck. His eyes were closed, a hand planted on his forehead massaging his temples.
"Ma was right; I'm turning out just like my old man." Puck spat, still rubbing his forehead.
"That excuse is getting really old." Sam rolled his eyes. He was exhausted. Not just from working, but from trying to pick up his friend out of the whole he had dug for himself. This has gone on for weeks and Sam was emotionally drained.
"Sam's right, Noah." Rachel interjected. "You're nothing like your dad. He was a coward and took the easy way out."
"Look Puckerman, you need to get your head out of your ass and get your shit together." Sam slapped a hand on the table, causing both Puck and Rachel to flinch. Rachel had never seen Sam be so assertive. "If you keep on like this, then you will turn out like your dad and I don't believe for a minute that's what you want."
Puck was still reeling from the sting of Sam's words when his friend abruptly stood up. He apologized to Rachel for his language and mumbled something about having to go. Rachel watched him disappear through the exit, while Puck sat in complete silence. Rachel signaled the waitress over and ordered a glass of water for Puck.
"I know you're scared." Rachel said, pushing the glass of water the waitress had brought over to him.
"What makes you think I'm scared?" He asked, the gruffness returning in his voice.
"The way you're acting." Rachel said, softly. Puck just shook his head back and forth. "I'm scared too, Noah. I'm scared of what people will think of me."
"You're always worried about what other people think of you." Puck snorted.
"Much like you're clearly upset about your mom's reaction and how you think you've disappointed a bunch of people." As much as he hated to admit, Rachel was right.
"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore." Puck dropped his head, fixating his stare at his feet on the floor. He could feel himself slowly sobering up, making his thoughts much clearer than before.
"I do." Rachel stretched her hand across the table, reaching for his. She couldn't quite reach, so she settled for touching the tips of his fingers. "Our baby needs you right now and so do I. I can't do this alone, Noah."
He could feel her gently stroking the ends of his fingers. It was the first time either of them had acknowledged the baby as theirs and he had to admit that made him just a little uneasy. Rachel saw his eyes tense up momentarily. They had both lost so much, yet had so much to look forward to now. As much as it still ached for Finn, her heart was starting to feel like a flower, slowly opening up and ready to bloom.
Puck could see the spark in her eye, a spark that he knew had been non-existent for weeks. Sure, he had dated Rachel ever so briefly in high school, but she had always had her heart set on Finn and he had accepted that long ago. He knew he could never be Finn and he certainly wasn't going to try, but deep down he knew he had a responsibility. A responsibility to not only this baby, but to Rachel. Not to mention a promise he made to Finn. A freaking promise that he had obviously taken too far one drunken night. He wondered if he'd ever be able to forgive himself for that.
Well my friends, what you all may call angst, I call progress. They're both opening up, even if Puck is doing it more slowly. They both are really still reeling from Finn's death and neither seem to know how to handle this new found situation they've been thrown into. And poor Sam is just beyond frustrated at having to see Puck continue to beat himself up. Thank you all for being so patient while Puck & Rachel go through these ups and downs. BTW…the song Puck sang was My Own Worst Enemy by Lit. If you haven't heard it, go check it out. One of my faves!