Enter...
BORIS BADENOV
I had to act fast.
"So, I guess that means we win!" I said, acting chipper.
"What do you mean, we win, you dolt?" Snidely asked angrily. "Nobody won anything! Except for some stupid whatever it was from the bearded freak."
"Ah, Snidely, but we did win!" I said. "You know, from a certain point of view."
"What point of view is that?" he asked grouchily.
"The one where Nazz managed to win us the challenge," I said. "Of course, it could have gone better, but..."
Snidely growled. "Forget it. I'm going to bed. I still ache from that football game."
"You do that," I said cheerfully. "Rest up. Get ready for the next challenge. Feel better!"
Snidely just scowled and walked away. I nodded towards Ingrid and Numbuh Two, and they nodded back. I walked over to Nazz.
"Well, even if nobody else is going to celebrate, what say we celebrate together?" I asked.
Nazz gave me a disturbed look. "What do you mean, celebrate together?"
"Well, you know," I said. I leaned in and whispered "I brought some snacks from home when I came back to the island. You know, just in case."
Nazz raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Fine. I'm in."
We walked away from the theater together. Now I just had to figure out how to come around to my way of thinking.
"So what's the big idea?" Nazz asked.
I jolted. "W-what do you mean?"
"You know, for somebody who's supposedly really sneaky you're not good with surprises," Nazz said. "But we're far enough from everyone else that they can't hear us. So what is this really about?"
"Well, uh, um, I want to celebrate our victory?" I suggested.
"No, you don't," Nazz said. "First, nobody won anything. Second, you probably didn't bring snacks. Third, there's no reason for you to go to your cabin to get snacks if Snidely's not going to join us, because you know he'd just steal them. So what's the big idea?"
I took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay, this makes things easier. Come with me."
I turned on my heel and headed into the woods. Nazz followed me slowly.
"Hold on," she said behind me. "Is there a reason we're heading into the woods?"
I looked around nervously but didn't see Snidely anywhere. "I have a plan," I said.
"A plan for what?" Nazz asked frustratedly. "Could you stop being so confusing?"
We entered a clearing. I stopped in the middle of the clearing, knowing two people were behind me. Nazz caught up with me.
"What's so important you had to drag me into the woods?" she asked, annoyed.
"Yeah," Numbuh Two piped up. "Why'd you want us all to meet?"
Nazz spun around quickly. I turned around much more calmly and took note of the shocked expression on Nazz's face as she realized that Ingrid and Numbuh Two had been waiting for us.
"We need to get rid of Snidely," I said.
"What?" Nazz asked.
"Not that I don't agree, but why didn't we do that, oh, at the start when Wendy was still here?" Ingrid asked. "I still don't understand why you voted her out."
"Mistakes were made," I admitted. "But I had a good reason."
"Oh really?" Numbuh Two asked. "Is that somehow related to how you and Snidely are bosom buddies?"
"We are not bosom buddies!" I defended myself. "He just hasn't let me out of his sight! This is the first chance I've gotten to actually speak with you! Why'd you think I left that note in your underwear?"
"And thanks for that, by the way," Numbuh Two said sourly. "That was a really creepy way to deliver a note."
"If I left it somewhere he could see it, Snidely would have stolen it," I said.
"That still doesn't explain why Wendy's gone," Ingrid said. "Now get talking."
"Remember last time?" I said. "You know, when Wendy was being all bossy?"
"Well..." Ingrid said slowly.
"She was pretty bossy," Nazz acknowledged.
"I knew that she'd try to take charge, and eventually we'd probably have to vote her off anyway," I continued. "So when Snidely came to me with an offer, I thought, why not? That'll get me in with Nazz and Snidely, and I'd be able to figure out their next moves and who the biggest threat was."
"Snidely," Ingrid said.
"Snidely," I agreed.
"Why not tell us?" Numbuh Two asked, still upset. "We wouldn't have thought you'd turned traitor then!"
"I told you, I didn't have a chance!" I snapped. "Snidely was all over me from the end of the first campfire ceremony up until now."
"That still doesn't explain what she's doing here," Ingrid said.
"Yeah," Nazz said. "Why am I here?"
I turned to her. "Because you don't like Snidely much either."
"So?" Nazz asked bitterly. "It's not like I have many options."
"Honestly, it's your own fault," Ingrid said. "If you hadn't tried to play everyone off each other last year, you might have more friends."
"Ladies, ladies, let's not bicker," I said. "I just want to make everyone a deal: we all vote off Snidely after the next loss."
"Why should I?" Nazz asked.
"Because we both know that Snidely is going to continue to blackmail us to do whatever he wants," I said. "I don't know about you, but I don't particularly want to be a lackey again. I have enough of that with Fearless Leader and Mister Big. So personally, I am not working with Snidely anymore, and I'm voting him off."
"Why should we trust you?" Numbuh Two asked.
"You shouldn't," I said. "But let me ask you this: what do I have to gain by telling you to vote off Snidely?"
"We won't vote for you?" Ingrid suggested.
"Were you going to anyway?" I asked.
"Okay, no," Numbuh Two admitted. "But–"
"We were going to vote for Snidely," Ingrid said.
"Great!" I said. "Then nothing has changed."
"Why bring her in, though?" Ingrid asked.
I grinned. "You don't really trust me, and I don't really trust you. So here's the insurance: you know for a fact that we're both going to vote off Snidely. If you vote with us, he goes home, no matter what."
"And why should I vote with you?" Nazz asked. "I don't have any reason to betray Snidely. Apart from him being a jerk, of course."
"How do you know what Snidely will ask you to do next?" I asked.
Nazz's pupils shrank. "Okay then. I'll vote for Snidely at the next elimination ceremony."
I grinned. "Then it's settled. Snidely goes home next."
The four of us nodded at each other and went our separate ways.