PART 10
Rinoa Heartilly was storming down the first floor hallway of the hospital, passing by a variety of rooms. Eventually she reached Room 3 but even when she peeped inside, the results even she could not have prepared herself for laid beyond the archway leading in.
Glaring inside the room was a black-haired women strapped to some machines where the only sound being heard was the faint beep of the pulse machine. Sure enough, it was the same women Zell had described, right down to her acclaimed 'blimps'.
Her tone rose as she approached the young women asleep in her bed, she received an equal expression in her own eyelids as she awoke from her slumber.
Speaking through the oxygen mask, Tifa faintly spoke, "Am I seeing double?" she inquired to Rinoa.
"Why no you aren't little one…and I'm not your twin sister either!" Rinoa replied in a harsh tone.
Tifa snarled at the girl. "I guess not…I wouldn't have my hair THAT shiny…"
Tifa's eye quirked up as she began to question the desire of this imposter. "State your business, I'm healing from the after-effects of total chaos…at a party…"
"Party? You mean…" Rinoa bellowed as she turned around and began to think.
Tifa looked up at the angel-clad female. "Wait…you were there too! You drank the punch and fell on top of your sweetheart! Heh, heh, did you like that? That punch was nothing…I could have made a way stronger drink at my Seventh Heaven…what a weakling you are…"
Rinoa's eyes raged, her hands merely grabbed the bed-ridden Tifa around the throat as she began to strangle the life out of her carelessly.
"Die you sorry excuse for a Final Fantasy character!" she cried
"(gasp! hack!) At least I wasn't weak like half of the females!" Tifa cried as she did a Final Heaven on Rinoa who was pummeled to a nearby wall. Interestingly, she was still semi-strapped to the medical equipment, and the heart rate monitor sped up in an appropriate fashion.
Rinoa smeared some blood from a small cut off her lips and charged at Tifa as the two of them began a ferocious catfight in Room 3.
Meanwhile, back in the room of Balamb Garden's elite commander…
"Crappy hospital food! I need nourishments! How's a guy suppose to live on burnt peanuts and dried Jell-o! When I'm hungry, I should get a Snicker, like the ad says…this is going into the suggestion box!"
A few seconds later, the SeeD was strapped to a white jacket and taken to the examination room.
"Sit down and shuddup! Or your leather jacket is mine!" cackled a hyperactive nurse, who took on a familiar identity of Yuffie.
"Come, faithful supporters of justice! The Batmobile awaits!" roared a tense Vincent who jumped head first into the driver's seat, with Eiko and Aeris behind.
"Vincent! How did you manage to con this off, it looks so much like the REAL Batmobile…" Aeris asked as she stroked the plated armor near her window.
Vincent chuckled as he pressed a few buttons whereas seconds later, a huge flame exhorted from the exhaust pipe of the hotrod. "Well, to tell you the truth…Batman…is…my cousin…"
Aeris looked at him strangely. "Sure…you just went up to him and got permission to take his baby for a spin…"
Eiko merely starred out at the scenery that was whizzing by at a hundred-miles-per-hour, suddenly her face met with that of a red stop sign as Vincent shrieked to a halt.
"Stupid stop signs, even I, the Dark Knight, must obey traffic laws!" he heroically said.
"We have no time to this, Cloud's life is at stake, and possibly the whole world! The laws of this world can wait…" Aeris fumed as she emitted some strange blue energy from her palms. A flash of light erupted across the skies where suddenly a bolt of lightning stuck the stop sign transforming it into a pile of pixie dust.
"What the! Did you just…dispose of every safety device that traffic has to rely on!" Vincent asked nervously.
"Yes! So now you won't have an excuse to stop anymore!" Aeris piped up, pleased with herself.
"But Aeris…now no one is safe!" Eiko cried as she rubbed the side of her face after her faithful encounter with the red road sign.
At that sudden comment, a ga-zillion traffic horns roars throughout the night with one accident after another. It was pretty safe to say that all hell broke lose and traffic was at a stand-still with delays reaching practically limitless numbers.
The Ancient started down at the floor-mat, and sighed as a pink hue formed in her face, "Whoopies…"
"Do you think we lost him?" questioned a doubtful Seymour as he and his comrades peeped from behind a rather large tree in the middle of a park.
"Hope so, wonder who the hell released that hellspawn demon in the first place, probably someone stupid." Seifer gawked.
"I'll bet it was you…" pondered a curious Laguna who was taking off a pair of headphones with the faint sound of his battle music blaring from within them.
"Good riddance I say, now, what do you say we get back on our mission…" Seymour inquired.
"Hey, where the heck is Barret?" Shadow solicited.
"Poor man, he probably got mauled by Omega…" Amarant snorted as he stepped from behind the tree back out into the open.
"Oh well, let's mosey people…" Seymour requested as he stepped out from beneath the tree as well. He began to walk towards a playground and quickly became enraptured with the swings.
Seifer, Laguna, Amarant, Shadow and even Interceptor placed a single hand/paw over their eyes in disbelief.
"Wee! Swing, Swing, Swing!" was all Seymour could say in delight.
And just because weird things happen, for the record, we'll just say the swing set support bar started to twist and quickly broke apart sending the whole equipment to the ground, atop a battled and bruised maester.
"Show off…" Seifer laughed as he and the other helped lift the crud off the maester's back.
The blade hovered over his rival like a nightmare. The silver hair swirled from a gust of wind generated by the ceiling fans. The room was a dead silence, so quiet; you could even hear the dust move.
Then, he spoke.
"I have waited for this moment for so very long, so long have I waited for this moment." Sephiroth gleamed as he held his blade within his grasp for what seemed like endless hours.
The quietness broke as a figure from across the room stepped forward, his boots echoing loudly. Loitering atop his shoulder was a blade known as "Bushido". He spoke a solid five words.
"You shall harm no one…"
The one-winged angel of death looked up at the elderly figure and laughed wholehearted.
"You dare to clash blades with me? I don't think you realize what you've gotten yourself into old timer…"
Auron chuckled lightly. "You may be younger, but the more experienced swordsmen outperforms in a duel, or, didn't anyone ever tell you that?"
The evil plague returned the laugh with one from his tongue. "That may be true, but in the end, it all relies on strength, and I clearly have more than you do, so stop your babbling and fight!"
A single hand clenched the blade from atop his strong shoulder. "As you wish…"
Kimahri was about to jump into the fray when a hand held him back.
"Don't risk your life for such a pitiful dispute Kimahri, let them fight, it's the only way…" Garnet said in a soft voice.
"Oooo, let me at that baboon, I can take 'um!" Rikku snarled as she prepared a few grenades, but a hand held her back as well.
"I can summon…summons!" Yuna cried.
"I can do Blitz Ace!" Tidus hollered, then looked down at his attire, "Maybe not in these rags…"
"I could use magic…and my dolls…" Lulu revealed. "Now where did I put Cali Girl Barbie…?"
"'An I can throw a ball!" Wakka divulged, but got a sudden look of concern from others, he quickly settled down. "Hmph, my balls could outstand machina any day…"
"Wakka, think about what you just said…" Lulu muttered.
The former blitzball coach thought about it, and thought about it, but couldn't quite get it…
"ME RAGE!" Gau bellowed before turning into a SlamDancer.
"I can paint portraits!" young Relm exclaimed, and then turned head over heals upon seeing Sephiroth. "Ooo, I wanna paint HIS portrait! He's so dreamy!"
"I've got Bio Blaster, Chain Saw, Flash, Drill…" Edgar said as he listed just about everything he had.
"I've got summons too! Hey, waitaminute…" Garnet queried before turning over to Yuna. "How can YOU summon!"
"I'm a summoner, duh!" Yuna chuckled before sticking a tongue out.
"I can summon too!" Irvine spoke up upon withdrawing a gun. "I can shoot ya as many times as a clock allows me too!"
"So can I!" Celes disclosed.
"As can I!" Terra unveiled.
"Hold on a second, how can everyone summon, when the soul purpose of my quest was to rid the world of an evil apocalypse entitled Sin, and I could only do this with summons, not to mention I had to go through three years of intense physical and spiritual training just to prepare for the summons themselves!" Yuna pouted feeling not so special anymore.
"Heh, heh, I just use an Esper, it's like a jewel, I just hold it in my hand and I can summon…"
"My summons never die!" Garnet giggled loudly.
"Neither do ours!" Terra and Celes said at the same time.
"This is…preposterous! If people knew all along they could just, use jewels and such, what is my sole purpose of living!" Yuna bawled getting on her knees.
"To be used in a sequel to save me!" Tidus laughed as he wrapped an arm around her neck lovingly.
"Waaaaahh, this is so unfair…" Yuna wept as she buried herself into Tidus's chest.
"Oh come on! Don't make us suffer over here! Stop playing the innocent girl routine again! We're trying to get it on!" Auron bellowed.
"Reminds me of a certain sickening Ancient..." Sephirtoh snorted before turning into his almighty form composed of a centaur with holy wings.
"Stop with the sexual tenses! This fic is already hovering before an R rating, ya?" Wakka grumbled before throwing a Fire Ball at Tidus.
"Ow! What was that for!" Tidus whined.
"Oh, I've just always wanted to do that…hehe…" Wakka chortled.
"Booyaka!" Selphie cheered, sending forth chaos across the room, once again.
On one side of the room was the female consisting of extraordinary proportions, and the other side, a single finger pointing to the ceiling tiles. All was still and silent, except for the seemingly rupture of a snore from time to time. Bruise-marks covered both bodies, and loose strains of black hair were scattered across the floor.
Rinoa's left eye twitched open as she let out a groan of pain.
Tifa's right eye twitched open as she too let out a groan of pain.
Total Silence.
"GAH! YOU READY FOR ROUND TWO YOU DEMON CHILD!" Tifa exclaimed as she jumped to her feet with ease.
"BRING IT MISS Double D CUP!" Rinoa blared as she again charged at her foe.
CRASH BOOM BAM KAPOWIE VROOM WOOSH ATOMIC BOMB LIKE NOISE
The sudden rush of a stretcher whizzed on by with Squall strapped to it, his motions intense as a stream ooze of green jello escaped his tarnished lips. Yuffie, holding his gunblade in her right palm grinned wickedly.
"Weee! I'm a race car driver! VROOOOOOOOM!" Squall screeched.
Standing outside the door of the chaos stood a healed Zell with a bandage across his forehead.
"Goddamn…what the HELL is going on here!" he yelped. He took a sniff of the air and hacked. "What smells like asphalt at four in the morning around here!"
"M-A-S T-E-R S-E-Y-M-O! Seymour G, he's so eee!" squealed a happy-go-lucky Maester Seymour who was causing havoc in the playground by merely attempting to have fun.
Dumbfounded by the lack of intelligence in the evil villan, Seifer gawked at the baddie with vigor madness. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! I WAS BETTER OFF WITH THE SORCERESS THAN YOU!"
"Right on! You tell 'em Seifer!" Amarant cheered before going back to his quiet status.
Stunned by the insincerity of his comrades, Maester Seymour did the only thing one could do when their feelings are hurt…
He shed a stream of tears.
"WAHHHHH! Why are you so mean to me! I'm just a lonely villain swore on the acts of revenge to defeat a foe who came from one thousand years in the future, and for what! He freakin' sweeps the Lady Summoner off her feet because he's a look-alike twin of all those Tommy Hilfinger models, only Asian style!"
The clash of blades echoed across the room in pandemonium. On the left side, an archangel hacked away like a crazed lunatic who'd had way too much Mountain Dew. On the right side, a calm, cool and collected middle-aged legend that didn't make the slightest glitch of a move until the time was just right merely avoided each inward assault. Sephiroth was beginning to lose his patience as the tone in his voice showed the immediate proof.
"Quick stalling and show me what you can really do! I hate fighting an empty battle against a foe!" he barked.
Auron curled his lips in a half-grin of ridicule. "Guard your emotions, then I'll see about turning this battle up a notch, understand?" The guardian brought down his blade in a might roar towards the ground.
Sephiroth cursed loudly, "Oh yes, I see it all now, you're trying to trick me, yes? Well, it's not going to work! Aaaayaaahh!"
The one-winged angel of tyranny heaved out a tense breath as he once again brought his blade out and rushed towards his opponent with haste…
But time would only tell what would result from this…or maybe just until the author can get his head out of a bag of Cheetos…(yum!)
END OF PART TENAuthor's Note: Yes, yes, so I stopped here and then decided to leave the story alone for a while before that turned into almost months! It was getting to be a long, long chapter and I am still a firm believer in the resting of the eyes. So, keep those reviews coming, I was so pleased to have received two recent reviews on the same day even and it is motivating me to work further on this insane fanfic. So thanks again and stay tuned for Part 11.