I know. I totally suck ass for not updating. I blame the writers of House, Lie To Me, Castle, Bones, And The Mentalist. I had way too much to watch...over and over again.

Hangin Around

When House and Cuddy finally made it to the end of the hiking trail, Kayla, Nicholas, and Olivia were already done and waiting for everyone else to finish the hike.

"Greg and Lisa," Kayla said with enthusiasm when she saw them. "Glad to see that you made it."

"Barely," House said. "Cuddy punched me in the spine on the way up here."

"I did not!" Cuddy said. "I flicked a spider off him."

"Flicked…or punched?" House asked.

"You are such a wuss," Cuddy said.

"Kindness, Lisa," Kayla said. "Words can hurt."

"Abuser," House said to Cuddy.

"Can it," Cuddy said.

"Lisa!" Kayla said. "We are really going to have to work on that mouth of yours."

"Why does that sound so dirty to me?" House whispered to Cuddy.

"Because you are a pervert," Cuddy said.

"That could be it," House said.

"When can we eat?" Nicholas asked. "It is going to take the other couples forever to finish. I mean, they let a cripple beat them."

"Nicholas!" Olivia said. "They are called physically disabled."

"Actually, Cuddy calls me her one-legged sex machine," House said.

"How about you stop hitting on my wife in front of me?" Nicholas said.

"Yes, that is how I hit on people," House said. "I bring up sex with my fiancee. It turns chicks on."

"Like I haven't seen you looking over my wife this whole trip," Nicholas said.

"This conversation is officially totally stupid," House said.

"Cool it, you two," Kayla said. "Maybe we should go ahead and start lunch. This picnic is supposed to be about each couple spending some quality time together. Talk with your significant other. Learn about the other person."

"But Cuddy yells at me when I talk with my mouth full," House said.

"Talk in-between bites," Kayla said. "You each have your own packed lunch. Go find a quiet place together." House picked up the picnic basket.

"I stole the picnic basket," House said in a Yogi Bear voice.

"You are so weird," Nicholas said.

"Leave him alone," Cuddy said.

"Have to have your girlfriend stick up for you?" Nicholas asked House.

"Yes," House said proudly. "She can probably beat you in arm wrestling, too."

"I am going to kill you, jackass," Nicholas said.

"Hey!" Kayla said. "No threats. Now go with your wife." House and Cuddy went one way and Nicholas and Olivia went the other way.

"That guy is a wacko," Cuddy said.

"One day he is going to end up on Nancy Grace claiming he didn't kill his wife," House said. "I can already predict that."

"Olivia seems so sweet," Cuddy said. "Why would she stay with him?"

"That questions seems familiar," House said as he placed the picnic basket down on the ground. "Oh, that's right. People are always asking you that about me."

"I am not scared you will punch me," Cuddy said.

"That is because I know that if I ever hit you, you would kick me ass," House said. "You are one scary bitch." House pulled out a sandwich and started eating it.

"Excuse me?" Cuddy asked.

"Scary lady, I meant, of course," House said. "Please don't hit me!" House and Cuddy saw Kayla turn and look at them from a distance.

"Will you stop that?" Cuddy asked. "You are coming off like an angel and she thinks I am an abusive crazy person."

"I know," House said with a smile. "This is going better than I thought."

"Before this is over, she is probably going to have me arrested," Cuddy said.

"Maybe you need to be nicer to me then to avoid jail," House said. "You can start by having sex with me."

"How about I start by not killing you?" Cuddy asked.

"Sex sounds better," House said.

"You know if Kayla was here, she would tell you that sex is not everything," Cuddy said.

"That is because she doesn't get to have sex with you," House said.

"Is that what I am?" Cuddy asked. "A good lay?"

"Amongst other things," House said.

"Like what?" Cuddy asked.

"Never thought you were the kind to fish for a compliment," House said.

"I want to know what you think of me," Cuddy asked.

"I knew that if I went on this trip you would want me to talk about feelings," House said.

"That is kind of the whole point," Cuddy said. "We are supposed to try to make our relationship stronger."

"Our relationship is fine," House said.

"You think it is perfect?" Cuddy asked. "You don't think there is anything we can do to improve it?"

"No relationship is perfect," House said. "All the counseling in the world cannot make it perfect. I'm happy. That's what matters. Are you happy?"

"Yes," Cuddy said. House looked her face over.

"Something's worrying you," House said. "It's what you mentioned earlier, isn't it? You think I will self-destruct and ruin us."

"I would hope by now that you can handle being happy, House," Cuddy said. "I don't know if you actually can."

"You think that during this trip I will learn to not be self-destructive?" House asked. "She isn't a miracle worker, Cuddy."

"She might be able to help," Cuddy said. "You say you are happy and I want it to last. If you decide to make your happiness end, my happiness will also end."

"I don't want to hurt you," House said.

"I know you don't want to," Cuddy said.

"But you think I will," House said.

"You always say I am a worry-wart," Cuddy said. "Look, I didn't mean to upset you and bring this up."

"I'm fine," House said.

"I can tell you are not," Cuddy said. "You didn't finish your sandwich. You always finish your food."

"I think you just called me fat," House said with a smile.

"No," Cuddy said with a smile. "I am saying that I know you." Cuddy rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head.

"You know me enough to know that I will probably hurt you," House said. "Why do you even stay with me?"

"I love you," Cuddy said. "I know you love me. That is all the reason I need."