Ryan and Simon drove in their bus, Ryan sitting in the driver's seat and Simon sitting a few rows back.
"When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by myself…only with my dad too," said Simon. "After he died, I came out here, looking for my great step-uncle."
"Is that so?" asked Ryan, not really caring.
"My great step-uncle, Simon Cowell. And in jail it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help," Simon pointed out. "Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Ryan. You knew my great step-uncle."
"I knew him," admitted Ryan. "Probably one of the few who knew him as Simonarilufdalid. Everyone else just called him Loser, or Loser Simon."
"Loser?" asked Simon, slightly offended.
"Good man. Bad singer. I swear you look just like him."
"It's not true," Simon said. "He was a producer. A good, respectable man who didn't sing crappily."
"He was a freakin' singer, one who sucked."
"My great step-uncle was not a crappy singer!" Simon pulled out his pen-not-a-magic-wand.
"Put it away, man. It's not worth you being beat again."
"You didn't beat me," argued Simon. "You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you."
"And that's no incentive for me to fight fair, is it?" Ryan rolled his eyes. By this time, Simon was standing by the door. Ryan swung the door open, leaving Simon hanging by his collar on the door. "Now as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your great step-uncle was a crappy singer and a good man or you can't. But crappy singer is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you get run over but I can't bring this bus into Pasadena all by me onesies, savvy?" Simon looked at him. "So can you sail under the command of a host or can you not?"
"Pasadena?" Simon asked.
"Pasadena."
The two of them drove for about 30 minutes until they came upon a sign that read "Welcome to Pasadena." They parked at a gas station, and got out, walking around for a while.
"…More importantly, it is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep the sweet proliferous bouquet that is Pasadena, savvy?" Ryan was saying. "What do you think?"
"It will linger," replied Simon.
"I'll tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted." Ryan noticed a blonde-haired lady who he recognized to be Lisa Foxx, his co-host on his radio station. "Lisa!"
She came up to him and slapped him. "I'm not sure I deserved that," he said to Simon. He then noticed his co-host from the first season of American Idol. "Brian!"
"Who was she?" Brian asked.
"What?" Ryan was confused. Brian slapped him. "I may have deserved that."