CHAPTER 10: Marriage

A/N: A special thanks to Burn3 and Nathan fan for giving me some clarity and depth when I was struggling for direction. I hope you enjoy the ride.

They walked back to their room at the Bed and Breakfast. Beckett was lost in thought. Not just quiet, she was silent. Castle threaded his hand in hers and she did not even seem to notice. They walked though the living room of the B and B and down the long hall. Mrs. Davis noticed and smiled.

"I need to call Alexis and let her know that we won't be home tonight."

Beckett nodded and said she was going to the kitchen to get them some coffee.

"Hello, Mrs. Beckett, how was your dinner?" asked Mrs. Davis.

"The bistro was a great recommendation," replied Beckett. She eyed the innkeeper with suspicion. Where did she get the notion that Beckett was married?

Mrs. Davis filled a thermal carafe with coffee and set up a tray with cups, creamer, and sugar. They were talking about the stranded travelers as the lights suddenly went out throughout the house. Mrs. Davis lit a candle in the kitchen and found her lanterns.

"I am very sorry Mrs. Beckett, but we have two problems. One, this power outage is probably not caused by a breaker; two, the heaters in the rear bedrooms are electric which means you may get very cold tonight. I will have the wood fireplace and stove going all night here in the great room. There are plenty of couches and chairs. If you get too cold, please feel free to come out here."

Beckett thanked her as she placed a lantern on the tray with the coffee. She headed down the hall to their room and pushed the door open. Castle was just finishing his call with Alexis. She placed the tray on the small table and then closed and locked the door. As Castle hung up his cell phone, Beckett pounced on the bed, catching him off guard and pinning his arms above his head.

"Apples, apples, apples," yelled Castle, although he wasn't in pain. "What is wrong?"

"Mrs. Beckett?" she roared. "Why would the innkeeper call me Mrs. Beckett when you are the one who registered for the room?"

"Paparazzi"

"What? We are in the middle of a small town in New York. Where do you see any paparazzi in this blizzard?"

The room was dimly lit and Castle was confused as to where this sudden outburst was coming from.

"I am truly sorry Kate, but I thought it would be fun to use your name instead of mine. I was paying in cash so I thought no one would know the difference."

"I know the difference!"

"I know. I meant it as a good thing," he said.

"What is so good about it?"

"Why are you so worked up? You have been quiet since we walked back from dinner. What is up?"

Beckett looked off towards the window. She fell silent and loosened her grip on Castle's wrists. He took the momentary shift in power to flip Beckett to one side nearly sending her off the bed. His grasp moved to her waist and he shifted so that they were facing each other but laying on their sides. Their faces were inches apart. He locked his arms around her so that she could not pull away and repeated his question. "Why are you so worked up?"

Castle seemed to wait forever for her to speak.

"Do you think marriage is a joke? Is that why didn't your marriages work out?"

Castle squirmed. He owed her an honest answer but he knew it was a bit longer story and his position on the bed wasn't helping.

"As much as I like wrestling with you Detective Beckett, do you think we could have this talk sitting up over coffee?"

"No Castle, just tell me," she responded sharply.

Beckett was really on edge and Castle needed some leverage. He used his body weight to roll both of them over, simultaneously pinning her by the arms. She wriggled hard underneath him. Castle leaned down, using his body to keep her still. He was just inches from Beckett's face. He looked into her eyes with a sincerity that he normally reserved for his daughter.

"My marriages failed because I did not marry someone like you."

Castle released his grip and moved to the edge of the bed facing away from her.

"I mean it, Kate, I thought I was in love with the women I married, but I came to realize that they didn't really love me; they only loved what I could give them. We didn't share common interests and it was mostly for show. It seems to be a mistake I keep repeating whether I am dating someone or marrying them."

The honesty sounded in his voice, but Castle could not bring himself to turn around and look at Beckett. "I failed at being a husband. I was so self absorbed that I let my wallet cover for me instead of just giving of myself. Don't get me wrong. There were good times and my beautiful daughter was the end result of one marriage, but I made too many mistakes."

Beckett was stunned. She rolled off the bed and rummaged through her bag for the bottle of cognac. The thick drink tumbled into cups normally reserved for coffee. She handed a cup to Castle and sat down on the bed beside him.

"Thank you. I know that was hard for you to share," she started off softly. "My mind has been racing. I was replaying the events of the past two days and wondering if this was a lie or a dream. We have spent so much time together over the past ten months, that I thought I had seen every side of Richard Castle."

"I have to ask," she continued, "are you as afraid of this as I am?"

"Kate, the only fear I have is that you don't feel the physical and mental connection that I feel when I am with you. I thought that our date back at The Mark was a sign of more to come. I respect the fact that you are a private person with a very professional career, but the man in me sees the whole you. I can be very patient but I need to know what you want."

Castle took a swallow of the cognac. It felt warm going down his throat. Beckett took both of their mugs and set them back on the table. She pulled Rick over to the arm chairs and watched as he sunk into one of them. She sat on the corner of her chair, looking at him as she often did from the edge of her desk at the precinct.

"I feel the same attraction you do and I have spent the better part of a year trying to fight it," she whispered. "You have already let me share more time with your family than you normally would. I want a relationship that transcends our careers and spills into our personal lives. Marriage is serious business to me and I did not appreciate the joke."

Castle downed his cognac and filled his mug with coffee. He thought about the events of the past month and how real this felt. He looked up to see the raw emotion in Kate's eyes. He reached for her hands and realized that they were freezing.

"Kate?" he asked.

"Umm?"

"Is it getting colder in here? I know I am a bit thin skinned since I just spent time in Hawaii, but shouldn't we turn on the heater?"

Kate had forgotten that the blackout was going to affect the room heaters. None of the power had returned during this time.

"Mrs. Davis said we may need to spend the night in the great room by the fire."

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

"Can we try curling up under the covers first? If it gets too cold, we will have to migrate to the fire."

Kate slipped out of her boots and jeans and pulled on a pair of sweats. She handed Castle a pair of FBI Academy sweat pants that she had bought him as a gift on her trip. She brushed her teeth and climbed under the frozen sheets. She couldn't help but watch as Castle shed his jeans and hiking boots. He scooted under the covers and into Kate's arms.

"Can I ask you something else?"

She nodded.

"When we are not on police business, can I call you Kate?"

She smiled and pulled him close. They fell asleep for a couple of hours, curled into each other. The wind woke Kate and when she stirred, she woke Castle.

"Sorry."

"It is really cold in here," he replied. "As much as I regret saying this, I think we should head out to the great room."

They grabbed a heavy wool blanket off of their bed and walked sleepily down the hall. The great room was toasty warm. Several other couples had already taken up residence on the couches. Kate and Castle found two large chairs and collapsed into them. He pulled the blanket over them and they fell quickly asleep.