This just went somewhere I wasn't even expecting. Originally Victoria was going to look for Kate, but of course she wouldn't be there because Nathan is creepy af (yeah Ik it's 90% certain he's being controlled by other people but still he is creepy). But then Taylor was like 'Nope. This one is going to be about me. Kthnxbai.' Basically I needed a break from Max and Kate and thought it was time I attempted to incorporate other characters.

I went back to my dorm after my meeting with Maxine. I sat down on the floor and leaned against my bed and let out a shuddering breath I felt like I had been holding in for eternity. It had been such a fucked up evening and I had literally no idea what to do about anything. There was nothing I could do. All I could do was wait. It was frustrating. I always had a plan for everything, and feeling so out of control majorly pissed me off. I removed my shoes and slung them across the room with more vigour than I meant to. The second shoe hit the wall, making a small hole in it. The walls in this place are paper thin, obviously.

Sniffling, I rubbed the back of my hands over my eyes to wipe away the pathetic tears that my eyes had started to leak with no warning. I didn't even know why I was crying. Nothing worth crying over had even happened. Yet. Maxine had really done a number on me. I wanted to be mad at her. I wanted to hate her. But I knew, I just knew, that the journal she had given to me had been written by me. I wished I could remember everything that had happened. I wished I could be the girl who had written in that journal. But I couldn't. Those things didn't happen to me. I wasn't ever that person. I wasn't even sure I wanted to be that person. Why would I want to be the person hugging Maxine Caulfield because her whole world was tumbling down around her? I still saw her as the selfie-ho of Blackwell. However, she saw me as her friend. It's been a very long time since someone wanted to my friend for reasons other than I fucking terrified them. It was so messed up.

Christ, get your shit together, I told myself for the second time that night. Just take of this stupid dress, wipe off your make-up and go to fucking bed. It'll all seem better in the morning.

I stood up and tried to pull down the zipper put I couldn't reach it. How was that even possible? I did the stupid thing up on my own. "Oh, just fuck it. Fuck it all." I collapsed on my bed, not caring I was still in my dress and my face was still caked in make-up. I was so tired.

I closed my eyes, intending to fall straight to sleep. Of course, that was wishful thinking. After felt like about twenty minutes of trying to sleep, but failing due to all of the thoughts swimming around in my head I reached over to the waste paper and pulled out the journal I had slung in there earlier. I turned on a lamp before flopping back onto my bed.

I felt my eyes begin to grow heavy as I read my ... her words.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up at 6:00 with the journal over my face. It's a good job no one ever comes in my room without my permission, else they would get to see what a lie my usual façade of elegance is.

For a second when I woke up, I had the blissful moment when you forget everything. You barely even remember your own name. Then it all came crashing back into my brain at once. For a while I hoped it had all been a dream, before realising the journal I was clutching in my hands disproved that theory. Shit.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a light tapping upon the door. "Who is it?"

"It's Taylor. Can I ... Is it okay if I come in?"

"It's okay. But you better make it quick. I'm not in the mood for entertaining."

Taylor pushed the door open slowly, peeking around the door. I think she was checking I wasn't waiting behind the door to attack her. Once she was in the room she stood awkwardly, looking like she had something to say but was unsure how to say it.

It quickly became clear I was going to have to speak first if I was going to get rid of her any time soon. "Tay, I ... just forget about last night, okay." The apology I was going to give her wouldn't allow itself to be formed.

"Are we friends?" Taylor seemed so insecure. It was something I had rarely seen before, since her favourite pass time was bitching out people she thought beneath her such as Alyssa or Maxine.

"Have you been speaking to Courtney?" I asked, with an eyebrow quirked. "I suppose she's been running her mouth? Telling you how she's done with my crap?"

Taylor nodded. "Yes."

"So you're hear to tell me that you can't be friends with me since you're joined at the hip with Tweedle Dee?" The blank look on her face told me she didn't realise that made her Tweedle Dumb.

"No, no. That's not why I'm here. I just wanted to know, were we ever friends? Or were we, I mean Courtney and I, just your groupies?"

I sighed. "What do you think?" The question came as a surprise. I thought it was always obvious that both Courtney and Taylor were using me to become more popular and for my money, and I was using them to, well, carry my bags and get me drinks. In short, they had been my slaves.

"I think I'm being stupid and sentimental and that Bitchtoria - yes, that's what we call you behind your back - isn't capable of being friends with anyone. But then last night I was thinking about that time my mum had surgery. When I told Courtney about it she told me to shut the fuck up and stop being so dramatic. You listened, though. You actually listened, and it actually seemed like you cared. Was it just an act?"

I held my head in my hand, embarrassed for Taylor and how pathetic she was being. All the crap I gave her, and she cared about one stupid moment? She should have hated my guts, but instead she still seemed to have that stupid need for my approval. Could she not see that she didn't need it? Could she not see that she was the real deal and I was just a fraud? "That? That was real. Of course it was real. I'm not a fucking monster, though you way you shake in terror around me half the time suggests differently."

"So ... we are friends?"

"I don't know." I said, throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. "Honestly, something I think you're fucking annoying. I often get an urge to punch you in the face. But then other times I see that there's more to you than a stupid air head who can barely even spell her own name. And I would think about how nice it would be to sit and have a proper conversation with you about something other than who our next social victim is going to be."

Taylor cocked her head to one side and began to twirl her long blonde hair around one of her fingers. "I'm going to be honest, I still have no idea what this means. But I have another question. Weren't you wearing those clothes last night?"

I let out an exasperated sigh. "It means I don't hate you, and maybe we could be friends one day. Look, I thought you were just a vulture like Courtney, using me to make yourself more popular. I didn't know you actually cared about being friends. If I had, I might have tried a little harder to be nice to you." I nodded. "Yes, I was wearing this stupid mother fucking dress last night. I can't reach the zip. Could you help?"

"Sure." Courtney walked behind me and took hold of the zipper. I felt her pull on it, but the zip didn't move. "It's stuck."

"Then pull harder."

Taylor did as she was told, and was rewarded with the sound of the dress tearing. "Oh my god. Victoria, I'm so sorry. It was an accident. I'll pay to get it repaired. I'll .. I'll do your laundry for a whole month. Just please don't be mad."

I turned to face Taylor and placed both of my hands upon her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "Calm down. I'm not angry. It's just a dress. An ugly one at that. I mean, I look great in it but there's dresses I look better in." I let go of Taylor's shoulders. "That's one thing I never got. What exactly is it about me that terrifies you?"

"I don't know. Only that you will do anything to bring an enemy down. You could kick me out of the Vortex. You could ruin me socially. You ... you're capable of anything. You're Victoria Chase."

"I'm not sure I wan't to be her any more." I said softly. "Well, this little chat was lovely and everything, but you should leave now."

"Oh, sure." Taylor said quickly, heading for the door.

"You know, you don't always have to do everything I say. Sometimes I need someone to stand up to me and tell me I'm being a dumb whore."

"I'm confused. Is now one of those times, or should I just leave? Did you need to talk about something?"

"No, no talking." The last thing I felt like doing was talking. I couldn't tell anyone about Maxine's little trip in time. They would think I was crazy. "I'm just not sure I feel like being alone right now."

"I can stay. I don't have anything else to do today."

"Cool. Whatever." I didn't want to seem desperate, or anything. I had friends other than Taylor. But then, when I stopped to think, apart from Nathan, no one in The Vortex was my friend. They were all just terrified to pretend otherwise because I was friends with Nathan.