A/N: Well, this is a way too fast update if you ask me
But I , like you, hate anticipation
So here it goes
The big revelation, which you all had predicted
Yet, I must admit it was not my plan to keep you in the dark about it
I think that by knowing the truth the story becomes more enjoyable
You get to see all the change in the mood and why they are cause
But enough with the blabbering
Thank you sooooo much for reviewing
Keep doing so
Enjoy!
Chapter 10: Truth
'All I can give you is my honest opinions.' He had confessed.
'The rest will be lies.' The guy who's lying now injured in my arms had said.
And only now do I begin to realize what a big part in his life all those lies played. Now that I watch my cousin healing him without asking any questions. Without doubting anything. Without looking at me straight in the eyes.
"Is he ok?" I ask after a while as I see my black-haired cousin stepping backwards. He nods hesitantly. Why isn't he shocked? Why doesn't he ask me who the guy is? Why doesn't he freak out? Oh, just forget it.
There is nothing more I want from him.
Not at the moment.
Now all I need is Air to wake up and explain himself once and for all.
And so he does, slowly coming to, hesitantly opening his eyes.
He looks at me questioningly for a moment and then, realization dawning on him, he looks away. Like he always does when trying to conceal something. But, I've had enough of this lying.
With a trembling hand I touch his face gently and ignoring his pleading eyes I remove the black mask.
Then I stand up quickly, taking a few drunken steps back. Like I just touched a burning metal.
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!" I yell for the whole forest to hear. This is a joke. Right? Right?
He cannot possibly be Air!
Life could not be playing such a tricky game to me. No. It couldn't.
Somebody just …stop this!
"Rosie, just…" Why is Al interfering now?
"Shut up Al." I scream maddened and surprised and…disgusted.
"You!" I hiss and he looks up at me with blank grey eyes.
"Are you freaking mad?" He proceeds to stare at me. Which let me just say makes me even crazier.
"No." He replies in a calm and collected voice. What a bastard!
"Is this your idea of fun? Spying and tricking and embarrassing me?" Our gazes don't separate.
"No." The words coming out of his mouth in a sickening drawl. Like he's bored or something.
"Then do you claim you didn't know who I was?" I suggest hopelessly.
"No." He answers and this feels like an interrogation where the accused has already confessed. So pointless.
"Should I bother to ask why?" I ask defeated. He still ignores me. I mean he does reply but with such apathy that it feels as if he's not even here. Like I'm not even here.
And this apathy seems to be contagious. This apathy seems to be covering all my other emotions. The pain , the fear, the anger. All buried under tones of apathy.
"No." Another 'no' and all my will to know the truth vanishes. Is truth so important after all? Is truth so valuable?
Is it what we really need?
I doubt it.
Cause in many cases truth changes nothing. It helps in no way.
"All we wanted was to help you Rose. To give you a solid piece of advice that you wouldn't discard." Help. I sneer at this. Help? And now? Who's going to help me now?
Now that things have gone so much worst.
"It was my idea anyway. I was worried because you did all sorts of crazy stuff and I brought…" This is enough. I heard enough. What does he expect me to do now? Thank them? Ridiculous!
"Stop it Al. I do not wish to hear it." What would be the point anyway? He doesn't care.
"But Rose…" I sense tears welling up.
"Your explanation changes nothing can't you see?" My cousin then falls silent. Good. I cannot handle him right now.
I can't even handle myself.
So for the last time I turn to the one who caused all this distress to me. The only one.
"You deceived me. Maybe Al was meaning well but what you did was plain deception. You played with me like I was nothing. Like this was a fucking performance." I spit. The bastard. That unbelievable pervert…
"And I, like the fool that I am, stood there unsuspecting, wondering how could someone care about me so much. While you laughed at me behind your mask." I smile an eerie smile before looking back at him.
"Now that I think of it, I bet the only reason you fought so hard to make me less heartless was so that this would hurt as much as it does." My last words appear to penetrate his cold mask. His eyes flash and stands up trembling. Oh, just go…
"And well done. Indeed it does hurt. But I guess you already knew that. You seem to have figured me out so well anyway." I snort and as he approaches I move backwards.
"Weasley…" He whispers pathetically.
"As for me, I know nothing about you anymore. Except for this. I have been disputing with you non-stop for the past six years, yet this is the first time I say this and mean it. Malfoy, I hate you." I stand and watch while my words stab him . Or so it appears.
His tall fit structure seems to break at once and he kneels in fake pain.
Cause it has to be fake.
His eyes close in defeat and he clenches his fists tight.
And this is all I can stand.
Running away is really my thing. Why deny it?
Once again Air, Malfoy, was right.
oOo
Two days later. Gryffindor dorms.
"Rose, please open up!" Oh, bloody hell isn't this girl ever gonna give up?
"Leave me alone Nelia." I yell back . I need some space ok? Is that so hard to get?
"But I need to talk to you." Yeah, I figured that far by myself.
"About Al and…?" And Him.
"Yes." Well, then no!
"I heard all I needed to. Besides you needn't worry. I'm not mad at Al. He's just stupid." I hear her sigh from behind my dorm's door.
"I know. It's about Scorpius that I want to talk about." Damn it, but I don't want to hear about him.
"Then I repeat my previous statement. Leave. Me. Alone. " Nothing they will say can make me change my mind. He played with me. Humiliated me. Made me speak of all my fears and mistakes and then persuaded me to follow the path he wanted.
I do not care if Al forced him to follow me to 'Flash'. Doing just that wouldn't have mattered a lot.
But this masquerade I was dragged into , this I can't forgive.
He acted like he was interested. He danced with me. He kissed me. And then managed to act all innocent.
"Rose you got it all wrong. This is not how things happened." Oh really?
"Then how did they happen?" I question kicking the sides of my bed in utter fury.
"Was there someone else pretending to care about me? Was there someone else dancing with me every night?" Was there someone other than Malfoy that kissed me so passionately it gave me chills?
"N-No…but…" Just as I thought. I take a brave step and open the door.
There I see my new friend sad and worried . About me. At least she is honest.
"You don't get it Nelia. He had the guts to pretend he could not dance in the Ball. He acted all cold and hesitant when just the previous night he was snogging me for dear life. He is a hypocrite." I don't think I can take this any longer.
Suddenly I kneel down in terror and crack up.
Tears are drowning me and I feel Nelia's hands around me. But when it's real pain you're dealing with no arms can really hold you.
"And you know what the worst part is?" I whisper between sobs.
"That had I been heartless none of this would have affected me at all." I try to catch my breath.
"I would have hexed him and leave to enjoy my life. But he took it away from me you see." I clench my fists.
"Listen to me now. I sound like a little kid. A true cry-baby. Tearing over my bad luck. Such nonsense and yet I cannot escape." Such a shame.
"The strong , the clever , the cynic Rose Weasley just evaporating. And you know why I can't turn back heartless Nelia?" She shakes her head perhaps a little scared at my out-burst.
"Because despite what he did, I find that, this guy, whoever he is, I really do love him." Just saying. You know just to prove that I have seriously reached bottom.
"Yes, dear cousin you are acting like a true cry-baby. Now contain yourself and come with me." I look at the door only to find my cousin Al standing there patting his foot on the wooden floor.
Now how he has managed to go up here I won't even ask.
"I told you already I-…" He raises a hand to stop me and I stupidly obey.
"Enough. I'm doing the talking now and if , after I finish you still have a problem I will let you be. But until then you just listen. I've had enough with this deal." What the hell has happened to that kind boy I once called my cousin?
I obediently stand up and follow him out of mo room, out of the Gryffindor Common Room, out of the castle.
We walk for a bit towards the Quidditch pitch , while I'm still trying to calm myself down.
"Ok, that's how things happened." I stop dead on my tracks and prepare myself for the truth. The truth I didn't want to know. The truth Al insists I should hear.
"One night by the end of last year I was unable to sleep. So I sneaked out of my room and decided to walk a bit in the castle. That was when I first saw you." I gulp. Somehow I feel shame towering over me.
"You were dressed so unlike you and I immediately realized you were going somewhere. I followed you and saw you getting wasted in a bar and then leaving with some unknown guy. I observed as you broke into a shop and took some stuff and then as you pranked some by-passers." My cheeks flash at that but I don't look away.
"The first thing that came to my mind was to go and drag you back to Hogwarts with me and owl uncle-Ron." Such a nice idea…
"But then I changed my mind. You see you had this cold , emotionless look on your face that really troubled me. I knew then it would take more than a simple scolding from the family to get you out of it." He saw it. My heartlessness.
"And that's when Scorpius gets to the game." Right. The game…
"He saw right through my fake-calm attitude and after whining my eyes out he got me to speak. And I did spoke. I told him everything." Albus stops to breathe .
"At first he quite stubbornly refused to believe me. So I took him to the bar and he saw you." Ok, I get it so far.
"To say he was shocked would probably be an understatement. Cause, you know Rosie, Malfoy might have always been annoying and arrogant to you but like a good rival that he is , he always admitted at least to himself that you are something rather remarkable." Yeah, that's why he decided to humiliate me.
"To come to the point in the beginning of this year I came up with a plan. Which of course I announced to Scorp." To hear the truth…it is rather relaxing. I believe that after all it was not such a big mistake to follow Al here. Maybe it doesn't change my mind but it opens my eyes.
"I wanted him to go to the bar where you hang out disguised and befriend you. Just so that he could advise you. See? It was my idea!" Ha! He seriously thinks that this is what has annoyed me? The 'befriending' part?
"He refused at first saying it was way too dishonest but I insisted. Again my fault." He is such a fool.
"The first night he came back from the bar he announced he would never go back there again. Yet I did my best to persuade him to reconsider. And I had used all my tricks when half-defeated I told him that he should do this to help you." Oh great, the two saints plotting.
"And that's what did it. He returned. And things were going fine you were obviously talking and becoming friends. Till one night, out of nowhere, Scorp came back in our dorm panting and flashed. At first I thought he was ill but he made it clear this was not the case. He never clearly explained what occurred then but I gather something rather serious between you two." I sniff and cross my arms defensively.
"We kissed." I say bitterly.
"I see . That would explain it. However, from that day on I came to realize that something had changed between you and the real Scoprius as well. Which was just so unexpected. I pointed it out to him and he agreed." Those must have been the times we had out civil talks.
"After that came the Ball. And I bet you know better than me what happened then." I scoff at this. Well, I know what happened firsthand.
"What you don't know is that he was furious about it. He kept saying he should never have done it and that it was certain he'd get rejected. Like he did. Plus he spent the entire next week trying to guess who was this guy you've been in love with. He was acting like a lunatic." It only serves him well.
"And finally two days ago he said he was going to meet you and he left early, rather disappointed. An hour later I was watching out of the window when I spotted a white light coming from somewhere in the woods. So I run down there cause this was supposed to be out signal for danger with Scorpius and I found him on the ground and you over him." He sighs audibly and I mimic his move.
"All in all Rosie this was clearly my idea." Al concludes confidently.
"Will you stop saying that?" I snap at him.
"Stop saying what?" He retorts taken aback.
"That it was all your idea! Can't you see this plan of yours, it hardly bothers me. It was well-meant anyway. What I won't forgive is his attitude." I point a finger towards the direction of the Slytherin dorms.
"What do you mean?" Oh, he is just so thick!
"Al you might think that he just talked to me but this was not the case. He deceived me. He used all that he knew about me to manipulate me. And he used his tricks to make me fall for him. Cause I just refuse to believe this flirting was done for my own good." I have without wanting to begun crying again. The words can hardly come out of my mouth now and I fear that I will sound like a little kid sobbing if I keep on speaking.
But I have to. Al, has to know the truth I know.
"And finally he had the guts to say to my face…to even suggest a relationship without revealing his identity. Then he immediately discarded it. All this just to unnerve me." So bullshit Al. I see no good in him anymore.
My cousin hugs me tight and I cry against him.
"I-I…I had no idea all these have happened. He never said a thing. He…he is always so closed up." Al pauses thoughtfully.
"I should go right away and ask him what is the meaning of all this." He nods to himself reassuringly.
"Yes, yes that's what I'll do! But first let me just say…" My cousin looks with a calm and kind face at me.
"…I mean it is only a guess yet…" Now he smiles in a brotherly way at me.
"…I always thought Scorpius had a thing for you. A soft spot. And lately all his moves seem to confirm this." I snigger. Sure. Deception and manipulation are always signs of likeness.
"No, no Rose don't deny it so fast. I think, though I cannot be certain before I go straight at him and ask, that you have really misunderstood him." Yeah, right!
" You interpreted his flirtatious behavior and his cost play as means of deception. But what if they are in fact his way of approaching you?" Is he bloody joking here?
"Think about it Rosie. Why are you really mad at him huh? Is it because he lied or just because he made you open up and now you feel vulnerable?" I blush. No. I do not feel vulnerable. I might not be a heartless anymore but I am strong and disciplined. I might be crying now but I will contain myself. I will manage. Surely!
Or at least I hope so…
How stupid of him. To think I felt…Pff
"And if it is the second, then forgive him. Cause without even noticing it, I think, that he too opened up to you." What?
What am I to reply to this idea?
Is Al expecting me to consider this?
Should I grant his wish?
Is it even possible that the truth might be more confusing than the lies?
Argh!
A/N: Ok, super super super fast update
This chapter is dedicated to ElAmorComienza who was so impatient about it
Thanks everyone
Soooo… liked it? Hated it?
Tell me!!!
I am so so so so worried!
Kisses
Sarah