Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. If I did, Beckendorf would be alive, Rachel would've jumped off a cliff, and Bessie would be a girl. :) Enjoy!

The next afternoon, seven days before our deadline, we rolled into Denver. We hadn't eaten since the night before in the dining car, somewhere in the vast expanse of Kansas landscape. We also hadn't taken showers since Camp Half-Blood, and that was no doubt evident.

After the Furies, Medusa, and Percy's little encounter with Echidna, an Iris- message back to camp was overdue.

"Let's try to contact Chiron," I suggested. "I want to tell him about your talk with the river spirit."

"We can't use phones, right?"

"I'm not talking about phones."

We wandered around downtown Denver for a half hour, looking for anything that could produce a rainbow. The dry heat was a change from the muggy, moist St. Louis air. The Rocky Mountains loomed in the distance, watching over us.

Finally, I caught sight of an empty do-it-yourself car wash. I strode towards the stall farthest from the street; the last thing we wanted was a patrol car to ride up and recognize Percy.

"What exactly are we doing?" Percy asked as Grover took hold of the spray gun.

"It's seventy-five cents," He grumbled, ignoring Percy's question. "I've only got two quarters left. Annabeth?"

"Don't look at me," I said. "The dining car wiped me out."

Percy fished in his pocket. He pulled out a quarter, two nickels, and a golden drachma. He handed Grover the quarter.

"Excellent," Grover said. "We could do it with a spray-bottle, of course, but the connection isn't as good, and my arm gets tired of pumping."

Percy looked utterly confused. "What are you talking about?"

Grover slipped in the quarters and turned the knob to FINE MIST. "I-M'ing."

"Instant messaging?"

"Iris-messaging," I corrected. "The rainbow goddess Iris carries messages for the gods. If you know how to ask, and she's not too busy, she'll do the same for half-bloods."

"You summon the goddess with a spray gun?"

Grover pointed the spray gun in the air, pulled the trigger, and a thick white mist exploded from the nozzle. "Unless you know an easier way to make a rainbow."

Percy looked on as the late afternoon light filtered through the mist, and a beautiful array of colors danced in the vapor. I held out my hand.

"Drachma, please." I said. He handed it over.

I raised the coin over my head in a respectful gesture. "O goddess, accept out offering."

I tossed the golden coin into the rainbow. In a golden shimmer, it was gone.

"Half-Blood Hill," I requested.

It took a few moments, but before long, we were gazing through the spray at the glittering strawberry fields, and the Long Island Sound in the distance. The woods were green and healthy, and the sound of laughter flowed from the valley. We seemed to be on the Big House porch. Standing in front of us, with his back turned, was Luke. Even from behind, I could tell who he was. His sandy hair seemed just a tad longer, and was dressed in the customary shorts and orange T-shirt. He had a bronze sword strapped to his side, and was intently staring down into the camp. It made me wonder what he was thinking about…

"Luke!" Percy called.

He turned around, eyes wide. I caught my breath at the sight of him.

His startled eyes were a deep blue, and his golden hair framed his tanned face beautifully. The sunlight acted almost like paint, covering up his puckered scar with a sunny shadow and blending it in with his features.

"Percy!" His scarred face broke into a warm smile. "Is that Annabeth, too? Thank the gods! Are you guys okay?"

"We're… uh… fine," I stammered. His hair was gleaming in the distant Long Island sunlight, and he was staring right at me. My stomach churned—with happiness or anxiety, I couldn't tell. The expectant twinkle in his eyes made me clam up. I madly started wiping the dirt off my shirt and yanking my hand through my hair, trying to make myself look half-way presentable. "We thought—Chiron—I mean—"

"He's down at the cabins," Luke said, his formerly happy smile fading. "We're having some issues with the campers. Listen, is everything cool with you? Is Grover all right?"

"I'm right here," Grover called, holding the nozzle out to one side so he could step into Luke's line of vision. "What kind of issues?"

Before Luke could open his mouth, a big, red Lincoln Continental pulled into the car wash with its stereo turned to maximum-volume rap. It slid into the stall next to our own, the pavement shaking from the loud music. I was silently thankful for the distraction from Luke's prying eyes, which seemed to bring out sides of me that had never before surfaced.

"Chiron had to—what's that noise?" Luke yelled.

"I'll take care of it!" I shouted, feeling very relieved to have an excuse to duck out of Luke's sight. "Grover, come on!"

"What?" Grover asked, confused. "But—"

"Give Percy the nozzle and come on!" I ordered.

He grudgingly handed Percy the spray gun while muttering something about the Oracle of Delphi being easier to understand than girls. He followed me out of the stall and towards the horrid music.

We approached the car, resisting from plugging our ears. Stepping out of the car was a teenager, several years older than me. He wore a raggedy white tank-top and sagging shorts.

"Hey!" I shouted over the music. "What is that, a cat dying?"

He turned towards me. It was obvious he didn't like his music to be compared to a cat's death. "What do you want, kiddos?" His voice was a little scary and imposing, but I didn't back down.

"We want you to turn off that gods-awful—"

The teed-off expression on the man's face caused Grover to intervene. "Um, what she means is, could you please turn down that music?"

He scoffed. "Why? Is the music hurting your ears?" His voice dripped with mock-sympathy, but he turned down the music. The sudden silence rang in my ears. "You know, why don't you go back to daycare?"

"Why don't you go back to the hole you crawled out of?"

"You know what, you little br—"

"Um," Grover butted in. "Annabeth, we can probably leave now…"

"Just wait a second…" I whispered to him. And then I got a Percy-like idea. "Grover, can you try a little woodland magic?"

He stared at me for some time, trying to figure out my motives. Then he smiled a devilish grin. "Do you prefer roots or grass?"

"Surprise me."

He took out his reed pipes and blew a few notes.

"What is this, music time?" The man scoffed. "Listen, kids, why don't—" Suddenly, he let out a shrill shriek.

A thick, coarse weed had sprouted out of the concrete as easily as if were dirt, and was steadily climbing his leg. By the time he noticed, it was already twirling around his knee.

"What is this?" He cried, shaking his leg furiously. "Get it off!"

I tried to contain my laughter. Was it wrong that I was enjoying this?

"Alright, Grover," I said, giggling. "Let him go."

The man looked at us, appalled. The weed recoiled down, and disappeared into the ground.

The man sprinted back to his car, and peeled out of that car wash like a kindergartner racing to recess.

Grover and I took one look at each other, and cracked up. We rounded back to the other stall. Percy stood there, staring at the place where the mist had dissipated with an empty expression.

We stopped laughing. "What happened, Percy?" I asked, alarmed by his vacant look. "What did Luke say?"

"Not much," He said weakly. "Come on, let's find some dinner."

A few minutes later, we sat in a cracking booth in a luminous chrome diner. Families laughed and ate around us, and made me feel a little nostalgic for Camp.

A waitress donned in a pink dress and apron came over with a pencil and pad notched in her hand, ready to write. She skeptically raised her eyebrow. "Well?"

"We, um, want to order dinner." Percy said.

"You kids have money to pay for it?"

I looked down at the table. Crap. We didn't have a quarter to our name. My eyes nervously darted around, trying to rack my famished brain for any excuse this woman might believe, when the building suddenly rumbled, as if shaken by a severe bout of thunder.

I looked outside, and froze. Pulled up to the curb was a motorcycle the size of an infant whale. It had crimson flames painted on its gas tank, and a menacing shotgun holster affixed to either side, complete with shotguns. The leather seat didn't look right. The color and texture almost reminded me of human skin.

I looked up at the man, and chills rippled up my spine. An evil kind of power radiated from him, and I didn't like it. He had an oily black crew cut and scarred cheeks, like he's been in one too many fights. A red muscle shirt clung to his buff figure, and a hunting knife was strapped to his side, giving off a clear warning: no one messes with me, unless you want to die.

His face was viciously handsome, and not in a charming way. His red wrap-around shades covered his eyes, like he was hiding something.

When he stepped foot into the diner, an odd desert wind blew through. As if on command, all the people rose, with the same blank faces plastered on that a hypnotist might cause his volunteer to have. But the biker just dismissively waved his hand, and the people sat back down. The waitress blinked, and asked us again, "You kids have money to pay for it?"

"It's on me," The biker said, approaching. He slid into the booth next to me, pinning me uncomfortably against the window.

The waitress was gaping at him with wide eyes.

"Are you still here?" He said, pointing a finger at her. She stiffened and spun around on her heel, marching back to the kitchen.

Once we were waitress-free, the biker turned on Percy. Suddenly, different irrational emotions all rolled inside me: I felt irritated at Percy, and how he'd almost gotten us killed. I was mad at this whole stupid quest. I was bitter towards my father, and all the times I had lost something important. I felt like picking a fight.

But something wasn't right. I looked over at the biker, and the feelings intensified. I looked at his physique, and he looked strangely familiar. And then it hit me.

This was no other than Ares, god of war.

The biker flashed Percy a malicious grin. "So you're old Seaweed's kid, huh?"

Percy's jaw tightened. I could tell the god's powers were affecting him also. Percy should've been cautious that this random man knew so much about him. He should've taken this as a warning sign. But he was under Ares's spell, and he wasn't doing what he should.

"What's it to you?" He spat.

My eyes widened, waiting for Ares to lose his temper and turn him into a pile of kelp. "Percy, this is—" I tried to warn him, but Ares just raised his hand in silence.

"S'okay. I don't mind a little attitude. Long as you remember who's boss. You know who I am, little cousin?"

I watched recognition flicker across his face as Percy had a mini-revelation. "You're Clarisse's dad," he said. "Ares, god of war."

Ares gave an evil smirk and took off his shades. His eyes were gone; the empty sockets were blazing with a searing fire. "That's right, punk. I heard you broke Clarisse's spear."

"She was asking for it."

"Probably. That's cool. I don't fight my kids' fights, you know? What I'm here for—I heard you were in town. I got a little proposition for you."

Ares's smile got a little bit wicked, like he was going to enjoy this. And I had a feeling I wasn't.

Just then, the waitress returned. In her hands were heaping trays of food—mouthwatering cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, and chocolate shakes.

Ares handed her a few golden drachmas.

She looked nervously down at the gold. "But these aren't…"

Ares pulled out his knife and started to scour his fingernails, oh-so-subtly giving off a clear message. "Problem, sweetheart?"

The waitress gulped, and left with the coins.

"You can't do that," Percy protested. "You can't just threaten people with a knife."

Ares laughed. "Are you kidding? I love this country. Best place since Sparta. Don't you carry a weapon, punk? You should. Dangerous world out there. Which brings me to my proposition. I need you to do me a favor."

"What favor could I do for a god?"

"Something a god doesn't have time to do himself. It's nothing much. I left my shield at an abandoned water park here in town. I was going on a little… date with my girlfriend. We were interrupted. I want you to fetch it for me."

"Why don't you go back and get it yourself?"

I held my breath; Percy sure did know how to aggravate the gods. The fire is Ares's eyes glowed a little hotter.

"Why don't I turn you into a prairie dog and run you over with my Harley? Because I don't feel like it. A god is giving you an opportunity to prove yourself, Percy Jackson. Will you prove yourself a coward?" He leaned forward intently. "Or maybe you only fight when there's a river to dive into, so your daddy can protect you."

The anger in Percy's eyes grew dangerously high; he looked ready to punch Ares.

"We're not interested," Percy said through gritted teeth. "We already have a quest."

Suddenly, my eyes were filled with the horrific images of death and destruction—fumes curling off the rubble of demolished buildings, gunpowder and smoke and blood and corpses on a battlefield. I closed my eyes furiously; I so did not need those pictures in my head.

"I know all about your quest, punk. When that item was first stolen, Zeus sent his best out looking for it: Apollo, Athena, Artemis, and me, naturally. If I couldn't sniff out a weapon that powerful…" He licked his lips, probably fantasizing about the prospect of possessing possibly the most powerful weapon in the world. "Well… if I can't find it, you go no hope. Nevertheless, I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. Your dad and I go way back. After all, I'm the one who told him my suspicions about old Corpse Breath."

"You told him Hades stole the bolt?"

"Sure. Framing somebody to start a war. Oldest trick in the book. I recognized it immediately. In a way, you got me to thank for your little quest."

"Thanks," Percy grumbled.

"Hey, I'm a generous guy. Just do my job, and I'll help you on your way. I'll arrange a ride west for you and your friends."

"We're doing fine on our own."

"Yeah, right. No money. No wheels. No clue what you're up against. Help me out, and maybe I'll tell you something you need to know. Something about your mom."

"My mom?" Percy's ears perked up.

Ares grinned. "That got your attention. The water park is a mile west on Delancy. You can't miss it. Look for the Tunnel of Love ride."

"What interrupted your date?" Percy asked. "Something scare you off?"

Ares bared his teeth menacingly, but there was something false about it. Like he was nervous.

"You're lucky you met me, punk, and not one of the other Olympians. They're not as forgiving of rudeness as I am. I'll meet you back here when you're done. Don't disappoint me."

And then he was gone.

"Not good," Grover said. "Ares sought you out, Percy. This is not good."

Percy stared out the window. He seemed intent on something; probably thinking over Ares's offer of giving him a clue about his mom.

But I was too lost in my own thoughts. Ares was on a date with Aphrodite, that was clear. But what wasn't clear is what scared him off, or 'interrupted', as Ares put it. And if it could make a war god run off, then I definitely wasn't looking forward to taking it on. Too bad I didn't have a choice.

"it's probably some kind of trick," Percy said. "Forget Ares. Let's just go."

"We can't," I said. "Look, I hate Ares as much as anybody, but you don't ignore the gods unless you want some serious bad fortune. He wasn't kidding about turning you into a rodent."

"Why does he need us?"

"Maybe it's a problem that requires brains," I mused. Brains. I had that. "Ares has strength. That's all he has. Even strength has to bow to wisdom sometimes."

"But this water park… he acted almost scared. What would make a god run away like that?"

I glanced at Grover. He seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"I'm afraid we'll have to find out."

We eventually found the park.

The sun was slowly sinking behind the mountains by the time we arrived. The water park must've been called WATERLAND at some point, but now, the worn-out sign just read WAT R A D.

The main gate was padlocked and topped with barbed wire. We peered into the park, and saw huge waterless slides and tubes and pipes, curling off into every which-way direction, all leading to empty pools. Tickets and old advertisements fluttered in the wind on the asphalt. With the sun setting, the place looked cheerless and eerie.

"If Ares brings his girlfriend here on a date," Percy said. "I'd hate to see what she looks like."

"Percy," I warned, staring up analytically at the barbed wire. "Be more respectful."

"Why? I thought you hated Ares."

"He's still a god." I said. "And his girlfriend is very temperamental."

"You don't want to insult her looks," Grover added.

"Who is she? Echidna?"

"No, Aphrodite," Grover said, dreamily. "Goddess of love."

"I thought she was married to somebody," Percy pushed on. "Hephaestus."

"What's your point?" Grover asked.

"Oh." Percy said, dropping the subject. "So how do we get in?"

"Maia!" Grover shouted, and his shoes sprouted wings.

He flew over the fence, added in some unintended theatrics, and stumbled to a landing on the other side. He dusted off his jeans like he meant to do a somersault mid-air while almost crashing into the barbed wire. "You guys coming?"

I rolled my eyes and started climbing. Percy held down the barbed wire for me as I climbed over, and I did the same for him.

Night was approaching rapidly. Our shadows grew long as we strolled the park, looking for the Tunnel of Love. Before I found it, I caught sight of a souvenir shop that had been left open. Shrugging, we walked inside and caught sight of snow globes, pencils, postcards, keychains, and racks of—

"Clothes," I said dreamily, staring at the clothes like a blind man seeing light for the first time. "Fresh clothes."

"Yeah," Percy said, eyeing me. "But you can't just—"

"Watch me."

I gathered an entire rack of stuff in my arms and waddled toward the changing room. I slipped out of my dirty shorts and ratty T-shirt, and replaced them with a bright red Waterland shirt, flashy Waterland flower-print shorts, and even adorned some foamy flip-flops. I stashed some more items into a Waterland backpack, and strolled back out, leaving my forgotten clothes behind me.

Grover and Percy eyed me as I came back out.

"What the heck." Grover shrugged. Soon, we were all dressed up like walking advertisements for the obsolete park.

We continued searching for the Tunnel of Love. With the sun setting, I was worried we might not ever find it. I also got the feeling that something was off, like we shouldn't be here.

"So Ares and Aphrodite," Percy said, distracting me from my worries. "They have a thing going?"

"That's old gossip, Percy," I said to him. "Three-thousand-year-old gossip."

"What about Aphrodite's husband?"

"Well, you know," I started. "Hephaestus. The black-smith. He was crippled when he was a baby, thrown off Mount Olympus by Zeus. So he isn't exactly handsome. Clever with his hands, and all, but Aphrodite isn't into brains and talent, you know?"

"She likes bikers."

"Whatever."

"Hephaestus knows?"

"Oh, sure," I said. "He caught them together once. I mean, literally caught them, in a golden net, and invited all the gods to come and laugh at them. Hephaestus is always trying to embarrass them. That's why they meet in out-of-the-way places, like—"

Before I could finish, I caught sight of a huge, empty pool that was at least fifty yards across and shaped like a bowl. Around the rim stood a dozen Cupid statues with wings spread wide and bows notched to fire. On the opposite side, a tunnel opened up, probably where the water flowed into the pool. A giant sign hanging above it read, THRILL RIDE O' LOVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENT'S TUNNEL OF LOVE!

"Like that." I finished.

Grover crept towards the edge, slowly peering down. "Guys, look."

Stationed at the bottom of the pool was a pink-and-white two-seater boat with a canopy over the top. Little lovey-dovey hearts were painted intricately all over the boat. And in the left seat, polished and lustrous in the vanishing light, was a gleaming circle of bronze. Ares's shield.

"This is too easy," Percy said. "So we just walk down there and get it?"

I wasn't so sure. Nothing in this world ever came easily. At least, not for me. Not for any half-bloods, really.

I turned my attention on the nearest Cupid statue, where something had caught my eye. I ran my fingers over the statue's base.

"There's a Greek letter carved here," I mused. "Eta. I wonder…"

"Grover," Percy said. "You smell any monsters?"

He sniffed. "Nothing."

"Nothing—like, in-the-Arch-and-you-didn't-smell-Echidna nothing, or really nothing?"

Grover looked hurt. "I told you, that was underground."

"Okay, I'm sorry," He said, taking a deep breath. "I'm going down there."

"I'll go with you," Grover said feebly, looking like he wanted to do the opposite. I got the feeling he was trying to make up for what happened in St. Louis.

"No," Percy said. "I want you to stay on top with the flying shoes. You're the Red Baron, a flying ace, remember?" I smiled at Percy's comment. Maybe he wasn't completely hopeless… "I'll be counting on you for backup, in case something goes wrong."

Grover puffed up his chest a little, obviously flattered by Percy's words of encouragement. "Sure, but what could go wrong?"

"I don't know. Just a feeling. Annabeth, come with me—"

"Are you kidding?" I shrieked. My cheeks turned a bright crimson red. Me? Go with Percy on a love ride? No thanks.

"What's the problem now?" Percy demanded. Was he that naïve?

"Me, go with you to the… 'Thrill Ride of Love'? How embarrassing is that? What is someone saw me?" I shuddered at the thought of one of the Aphrodite girls, or even my own siblings, seeing us… together… down in that death bowl of 'love'.

"Who's going to see you?" Percy demanded, but he was turning red in the face. "Fine," He grumbled. "I'll do it myself."

But as he started down the side of the pool, I figured I'd better go with him or he'd probably get killed. I mean… it's not like that's the only reason. There were plenty of other, perfectly valid and legit reasons that I should go down there with him, right?

"Why do boys have to mess everything up?" I muttered to myself, scrambling down after him.

Finally, we reached the boat. The shield was propped up on one seat, and lying next to it was pink silk scarf. It shimmered magically, and Percy picked it up like the clueless boy he is. Even from here, I could smell the scent coming from the scarf. I was momentarily lost in the indescribable smell, obviously Aphrodite's love magic, while my girl hormones were messing with my train of thought.

I quickly snapped out of it and snatched the scarf from Percy's hands, stuffing it in my pocket. It was Aphrodite's signature love magic, which caused the victim to fall in love with the first person he saw. And that first person, I'd realized, was me. "Oh, no you don't," I scolded him. "Stay away from that love magic."

"What?"

"Just get the shield, Seaweed Brain, and let's get out of here." The place was steadily getting more and more creepy as the sun went down. The Cupids' blank eyes looked evil and menacing with the dark shadows falling over them. I studied the boat, trying to keep my mind off of the blank stares of the statues. Something glinted in the soft evening light, something that look eerily familiar. I looked closer, and my brain started to think in overdrive. A Greek Eta.

And then I heard a faint click, so weak, it was almost silent.

Percy had reached for the shield. But something wasn't right. And then I saw what was in his hands: a strand of some kind of metal filament, so fine it was almost invisible. A trip wire.

"Wait," I said.

"Too late."

"There's another Greek letter on the side of the boat, another Eta. This is a trap."

Noise erupted all around us. It sounded like a million rusty gears grinding, as if the pool were transforming into one giant mechanism.

"Guys!" Grover yelled from above.

The Cupid statues were no longer statues. They were automatons now, and they were each aiming their bows. They shot, but not at us. They seemed to be firing at each other, but I was far from relieved. Silky cables trailed from the arrows, curving over the pool and anchoring to where they landed to form a huge star-like shape. Then smaller, metallic threads started to weave together between the main strands, making a net.

"We have to get out," Percy said.

"Duh!" I said, too anxious to say anything remotely close to my usual intelligent remarks.

Percy grabbed the shield as we ran, but going up the steep slope proved to be a challenge.

"Come on!" Grover shouted.

I saw that he was trying to hold a section of the net open for us, but tiny golden threads started to wrap around his hands wherever he touched.

Suddenly, the Cupids' heads popped open, revealing video cameras. Spotlights rose up all around the pool, blinding us, and a loudspeaker boomed: "Live to Olympus in one minute… Fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight…"

"Hephaestus!" I screamed, enraged at the god of fire. "I'm so stupid! Eta is 'H'. He made this trap to catch his wife with Ares. Now we're going to be broadcast live to Olympus and look like absolute fools!"

We continued to scramble up the side when hatches opened up at the top, and out poured thousands of tiny, metallic, little—

"Spiders!" I screamed. "Sp—sp—aaah!"

I froze at the sight of the tiny, nasty, eight-legged arachnids. Their pointy little metal feet and blank eyes made me shudder. And to make matters worse, there seemed to be a trillion of the wind-up creepy crawlies.

I fell backward in terror, and would've gotten engulfed in the army of metallic spiders if Percy hadn't pulled me up and dragged me back to the boat.

I collapsed on the seat, paralyzed at the sight of them. Percy started kicking away the spiders as they manically swarmed aboard. He yelled at me to help, but I couldn't do much more than scream.

"Thirty, twenty-nine…"

The spiders were multiplying. They started to spit out strands of metal thread, trying to tie us down. Percy was working like a madman, breaking the strands and fighting off spiders, but it was just too overwhelming. It almost made me feel bad that I wasn't doing anything to help. Almost.

I could see Grover hovering about the pool with the flying sneakers, trying to pull the net loose, but it wasn't budging. I tried to make myself go into thinking-mode, but all that was running through my head was SPIDER!

"Fifteen, fourteen…"

"Grover!" Percy yelled. "Get into that booth! Find the 'on' switch!"

"But—"

"Do it!" He yelled.

I was far too busy screaming to try and make sense of what Percy was saying.

"Five, four…"

I swatted away some spiders, and then shrieked, horrified that I'd touched them.

"Two, one, zero!"

Suddenly, water exploded out of the pipes that lined the wall. It roared into the pool, sweeping away the spiders. Percy pulled me into a seat and fastened my seat belt, just as a massive tidal wave crashed into our boat. It whisked away the spiders, but doused us completely. I was, in a way, grateful for the soaking. It brought me back to my senses. Sort of.

I figured that the water was courtesy of Percy, obviously. I saw the cameras had started rolling, and I groaned internally at the thought of who was watching.

The boat was speeding forward, occasionally ricocheting off the side of the pool. By now, the water was high enough to shred us against the metal net. Then, the nose of the boat turned towards a tunnel, and we rocketed into the darkness.

I gripped the safety bar until my knuckles turned white, screaming as the boat shot curls and hugged corners and took forty-five degree plummets past pictures of Romeo and Juliet and a load of other Valentine's Day stuff.

And then we shot out of the tunnel and speeding straight towards the exit. I would've been relieved, but it wasn't over yet. The two gates that would've led to the exit pool were chained together. Two boats were piled against the barricade—one submerged, the other cracked in half.

"Unfasten your seatbelt!" Percy yelled over the roar of water.

"Are you crazy?" I yelled back.

"Unless you want to get smashed to death." He said, strapping the shield to his arm. "We're going to have to jump for it."

I guess that was the only way. It made perfect sense; I just had to multiply the force with the trajectory angle. Our force was maybe thirty miles-per-hour, and the trajectory angle was ninety degrees. We just had to jump at the right time. I gripped Percy's hand.

"On my mark," Percy said.

"No! On my mark!" I figured I was the only one who knew how to get maximum lift.

"What?"

"Simple physics!" I yelled. "Force times the trajectory angle—"

"Fine!" He shouted. "On your mark!"

I scrutinized the scene before me. I waited three painful seconds before shouting "Now!"

We soared through the air, and I began to think that maximum lift was maybe a little more than necessary. We were thrown over the gates, past the pool, and down towards solid asphalt.

I felt someone grab my arm.

"Ouch!" I yelled.

Grover!

He was trying to pull us out of a crash landing, but we had too much momentum.

"You're too heavy!" Grover sputtered. "We're going down!"

We spiraled towards the ground as Grover tried to slow our fall.

Finally, we smashed into a photo-board. Grover's head fit perfectly into the hole where tourists would put their faces, pretending to be Noo-Noo the Friendly Whale. It was almost comical, and I would've laughed, but I was too busy groaning.

And then, just quickly as it had begun, the ordeal was over.

Once we caught our breath, I helped Percy get Grover out of the photo-board and thanked him for saving our lives.

I looked back warily at the Thrill Ride of Love. The water was slowly subsiding, and our boat had been utterly destroyed by the gates.

I saw that the Cupids were still filming at the entrance pool. They had pivoted so that their cameras were trained on us, the spotlights still in our faces.

"Show's over!" Percy yelled. "Thank you! Goodnight!"

The statues turned back to their original positions. The lights shut off, and the park was quiet and dark again. The placid dribble of water into the Thrill Ride of Love's entrance pool was the only sound in the park.

I looked at Percy. I guess it's safe to say that I respected him a little more now, after he, you know, saved my life. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all…

Percy hefted the shield on his arm and turned to us. "We need to have a little talk with Ares."