That stands for Trevor Lapointe Adventures, by the way. We're nowhere near Los Angeles, as far as I'm concerned.

A/N:

I should mention that since the holidays have arrived, my writing and work schedule will be somewhat erratic. I can safely guarantee one chapter a week, but other than that, I can't really say. A multitude of factors come into play here, such as how hard the route is to describe, or how long my parents are willing to let me work into the night.

Regardless, I'll do my best to ensure that they, at the very least, receive their Kanto starters by the end of this year. Speaking of which, I should probably start planning that…

Ah, who am I kidding? Enjoy the chapter!

Oh, and if you want to know more about me, other than what's in my profile, that is, ask me anything on askfm or spring! Their links are in my profile.

"Route 22, Detourner Way as it's more commonly known, is called just that because it's asking you, yes, you, to turn back.

This fulfils two purposes. Those coming from the west entrance are not cut up for the horror that is the Victory Road, while those coming from the east entrance are obviously too overpowered for the poor Pokémon that inhabit the route.

Speaking of Pokémon that inhabit the route, since I'm assuming you're a novice trainer as I once was and entering from Santalune City, you're currently restricted to the Pokémon on land. As such, aside from the Pokémon that can be encountered on the other routes, be on the lookout for rarities such as Riolu, the child form of Lucario and trainee aura guardians in their own right; Litleo, the small lion cub that normally gathers in packs to play and socialize; and Farfetch'd, which makes an excellent meal when cooked with its leek and lemon sauce.

Not that I'm encouraging it.

For more information on the aquatic portions of this Route, please refer to 'Route 22: Revisited' (pg. 58). If you already are a veteran trainer, then I suggest you turn there anyway."

'The Official Kalos Companion Guide' (2020), by Maison Prince Calem.

~That same day~

"So, Trevs! How many new Pokémon are we expecting to find on this stretch?"

Trevor pulled out the pamphlet he had taken from the Center. "Not including the ones we've already got, there appears to be only three new ones. I guess we'll split up and-"

He was cut short by the two Preschoolers who popped out from behind them.

"Dépêchez! The race is about to end!"

"Oliver, slow down!" The female of the two turned to Trevor. "Pardon us, but we're in a rush!"

As the two sped off down the road, Tierno turned to Trevor. "What do you think that was all about?"

"Beats me. Anyways, as I was saying, we can find-"

He was interrupted yet again when a Rising Star ran straight into him.

"Ohmygosh, I'm so sorry, but I'm in a hurry! Can't stay to apologize!"

As soon as she had finished that rapid-fire spiel, she too ran down the track.

Trevor stood up and dusted the back of his pants. "Okay, something's up, and we're going to find out what. Come on, Tio, let's see what this commotion is all about."

Tierno was about to point out that he hadn't actually answered his question, but promptly decided that that could wait for later.

"Look at her go!"

When the duo got to the source of the entire hubbub, they found quite a crowd standing behind a railing and cheering intensely. What they were cheering for was obvious; a pair of hundred-and-fifteen kilogram Rhyhorn obvious, that is.

On closer inspection, Trevor realized that this was one of the Rhyhorn racing tracks that Aunt Grace, Calem's mother, had told them about. And since only one female Rhyhorn racer had ever made the big leagues…

"Yee-haw!"

In one giant bound, the Rhyhorn in the lead jumped from its current position to the finish line, an impressive feat, considering the distance was nearly five metres long.

"And the reigning champion defends her title with a long jump to the end! The winner is Ms. Grace Culpepper- oh, pardonne-moi; I keep forgetting, Mrs. Grace Lambert, and her Rhyhorn, Dustin!"

Despite the slip, the whole crowd still burst into cheer and applause as she stood on top of Dustin with a victorious pose.

"So that's what it was all about!" Tierno exclaimed.

"Well it's over, so I think we probably should go back to finding-"

"Elle est là! I want her to sign my diary!"

A group of girls pushed past Trevor, knocking him to the ground yet again. Oblivious to his literal downfall, they continued past an opening in the railing, eager to receive sutographs.

He scratched his head. "What is it with me getting interrupted today?"

"Well, since she's there and all, we might as well go say hi."

"I guess, but right after that, we should get back to finding the rare Pokémon that live-"

A leek connected with the side of Trevor's head. Its owner, the Farfetch'd who thought Trevor's hair was an enemy, proceeded to take it back, before disappearing into the undergrowth.

Tierno, who had managed to successfully register that Farfetch'd before it left, burst out in laughter. "Well, that's one, that's for sure!"

"Okay, seriously, am I the plotline for some running joke here?"

"Oh, hey, you two!"

Despite her age (not that he'd ever tell her that), Mrs. Lambert was as sprightly as her Rhyhorn. "Isn't Calem supposed to be with you?"

Tierno shrugged. "He's off with the girls to challenge the local gym. We're searching for any of the local Pokémon that can be found along this Route, and dropped by to say hi."

"Speaking of local Pokémon, now that we've dropped by, I think we should seriously get back to-"

The speakers around the track blared to life.

"The next race is starting in ten minutes. Will the reigning champion please report back to the starting line?"

"That's my cue, which means I have to go, boys. Tell Calem I said hi!"

And with that, she sped away on Dustin, ready for the next race.

The silence in the air was gratifying.

Until a shrill female voice pierced it, that is.

"Hey! You two!"

Two girls, a brunette dressed in blue and a blonde dressed in red, ran up to them. The blonde, whose voice had shouted first, "Who do you think you are? We're Grace's biggest fans, and no idiot boys are taking that title away from us!"

"I'm sorry, but really, we want to remain as her most beloved fans." The brunette added.

Trevor facepalmed. "Oh great. Fangirls. Look, it's none of your business-"

The blonde cut him off. Again. "Oh it is so very much our business! We challenge you two to a Pokémon battle, munchkin!"

"Oh, bugger." Tierno groaned.

The brunette tugged her friend's shoulder. "Um, Janice, I don't think that was a good idea."

A dark, deep, malicious voice rang out from the ginger-haired boy. "Tierno? Let's wipe the floor with them. "

Eugene relaxed. While the Pokéball's choices of amenities weren't all that fanciful, it did come with a nice saltwater hot spring, and at present moment, he was soaking in it and enjoying the

"Ah… I could stay here all day."

Of course, fate disagreed. The long coil of rope shot down and wrapped around his right pincer.

"What the-"

And jerked up.

Big Guy and Little Guy Tierno & Trevor are challenged by Fangirls Thany & Janice!

Fangirls Thany & Janice sent out Litleo & Psyduck!

Big Guy and Little Guy Tierno & Trevor sent out Corphish & Pikachu!

"Rawr! Okay, I have got to work on that. No one will follow a lioness if she can't even roar right. RAWR!"

"Ugh… Thanks to your roars, my migraine's even worse now… Guess I'll just battle to get rid of it…"

"Hey, hey! I was taking a bath! I haven't put on my clothes yet!"

"Dude, you're a Pokémon. You don't even wear clothes on a daily basis!"

"Oh. Right."

"Hey!"

Eugene and Sparks stopped their conversation and turned to the opposing Litleo.

"Are any of you girls?"

They looked at each other, before yelling back, "No!"

"Darn it!"

"Nala, stop conversing with the enemy and use Ember on that Pikachu!"

"Huey, Confusion!"

"Dodge and use Bubble!"

"Quick Attack!"

Eugene ducked under the blue bolt, before letting out a stream of bubbles that whizzed harmlessly over Huey, who had ducked. Sparks, while getting hit by a few of the flaming embers, dodged the majority, and sent Nana flying.

She landed gracefully, before letting out a roar. As the Work Up took effect, a bright red aura surrounded her, and she pounced forward.

"I'm gonna Headbutt cha'!"

And headbutt she did. Sparks was shot backwards, coming to a stop right beside where Eugene and Huey were duking it out.

"You okay, man?" Eugene asked, as he dodged another Scratch.

"Never better, bro!" Sparks replied, before his eyes widened in alarm. "Look out!"

"Wha-gah!"

A lucky hit from Huey had struck Eugene on the chink in his armour-plated shell, causing him to reel backwards in pain.

"Arceus damnit, any ideas?"

A glint lit up in Sparks' eyes. "Let's switch it up!"

The two dashed, and scuttled, forward quickly. Huey brought back his head, just as Nala opened her mouth.

"Water Gun!" "Noble ROAR!"

To the two's absolute surprise, the Corphish went straight for Nala, appearing to have ignored the imposing noise, while the Pikachu dashed out one way, towards the jetstream of water.

"Quick Attack!"

In one strike, Sparks burst through the water, and collided with the Psyduck, who was sent backwards. When Huey tried to get up, however…

"What? Why are- my muscles- growing- stiff?"

A weak jolt of yellow electricity fizzled around him, signifying that he had been successfully paralyzed.

Meanwhile, despite the force of the roar pushing him back, Eugene gained on Nala, and in one swift move, was holding her by the neck in a Vice Grip.

"B-B-But how? That roar should have demoralized you!"

"Lady, the only thing that'll demoralize me is if you spend perfectly good money away."

Eugene turned to Sparks. "Ready to end this?"

He shook the last of the water droplets off. "End of story."

His cheeks buzzed with electricity.

"Thundershock!"

His body glowed yellow, as he released a crackling yellow lightning bolt at Huey, who responded how anyone in his situation would probably respond.

"Oh quack."

Minus the duck pun, but still.

As the smoke cleared up, Huey dropped to the ground, roasted, and smelling oh-so-delicious.

"That's it… I'm not doing this anymore… Consider me fainted…"

Eugene turned back to Nala, who was still struggling to escape from his claw. "Your turn."

Instead of continuing to fight back, she surprised him by yelling out, "Hold it! Hold!"

Understandably, he was taken aback, although his grip was unfaltering. "Hold? This is a Pokémon battle; we can't just stop halfway! Besides, I am holding you!"

"I'll just act fainted, okay? I don't want my neck to have a scar!"

To prove her point, she roared, before falling slack in his pincers, as if she had been knocked out.

He unclenched his claw. "Well. That was easy."

Tierno & Trevor defeated Thany & Janice!

"What the hell do you think you're doing to our Pokémon?"

Trevor looked up from where he was scanning the not-so-fainted Litleo. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Do I have to pose for this?"

"No. No you don't."

Two beeps signified the end of the transfer, upon which Trevor carefully placed his Pokédex back into his bag. He gently entrusted this bag to Tierno, before turning to the two girls.

"Now, do you know how much I hate nicknames that refer to me as short? Of course you wouldn't, you don't even know my name. Do you know what I do to the people who use these nicknames, then? No?"

He cracked his knuckles menacingly. "Do you want to find out?"

Luckily for them, they were smart enough to run away.

"Hey, wait for me!" Nana called, before turning back to Eugene and Sparks. "Nice battling you two, but I gotta scram! Seeya!"

"And now I have another migraine." Huey sighed, as he waddled off after Nala and his trainer.

"Okay, they're gone, so calm yourself down, Trevor."

He took a deep breath, using his hands to mime pushing down, before straightening up.

"I'm okay. So, let's get back to-"

A flash of light in the sky and the sound of thunder interrupted whatever he had to say next.

Seconds later, the first droplets of rain began to splatter the ground.

Tierno gave the pocket umbrella from the side of his bag, before removing a full-sized umbrella from his pack.

"Hmm… This weather…"

Instead of opening said umbrella, he tapped in on the ground thrice, before putting it over his shoulder.

"I think I have a new dance routine planned out! Come on, Eugene, let's go!"

Instead of following his trainer, Eugene tapped the button on his Pokéball.

"Nobody disturb me. I really want that bath." He said, as he was sucked in.

Likewise, Sparks tapped his own Pokéball's button.

"I need to go back to playing Gary Oak's Mod, anyways…"

As the rain started to fall heavily, Tierno started to tap dance down the road.

"Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo…

He twirled his umbrella.

"I'm singing in the rain,
just singing in the rain,
what a glorious feelin',
I'm happy again…"

"Tierno, wait up…"

Trevor took a good look around. There was no one in his general vicinity, since they had all already cleared out due to the rain, which was now increasing in intensity.

He sighed happily. "Finally, I can actually complete a sentence without actually getting interrupted-"

(A/N: …Yeah. Not gonna happen, buddy.)

"Trevs! How did your afternoon go?"

"Eh, nothing that important, just recorded a few new Pokémon, had a battle, Aunt Grace says hi."

Calem blinked. "You guys met my mum?"

Trevor gave a noncommittal shrug. "She was Rhyhorn-racing. Now, I suggest we get out of the rain, before we all catch a cold."

Shauna sneezed.

"Never mind. Too late for that already."

Serena walked over and picked up the three badges. "At least we got what we came for."

She gave one to Calem, pocketed another, and with a huff, reluctantly placed the last one in Shauna's hand. "Let's get back to the Center."

The other three agreed, before they all moved off.

"I'm dancing, and singing,
In the rain!"

As the dance number's tune came to an end in Tierno's mind, he opened his eyes to see that his friend had completely vanished into the rain.

"Trevs? Where'd you go?"

A/N:

Dépêchez – Hurry!

Pardonne-moi – excuse me

Elle est là – There she is!

Pokédex count:

Central Kalos – 31/150 seen.

(Coastal Kalos – 1/153 seen. – Rhyhorn – Unregistered)

(Mountain Kalos – 1/151 seen. – Ditto – Unregistered)

(National – Koffing, Misdreavus – Unregistered)

Pokémon stats:

Trevor's Team

Name: Sparks

Species: Pikachu

Approximate level: 16

Ability: Static

Moves learnt: Growl, Thundershock, Tail Whip, Thunder Wave, Quick Attack

Tierno's Team

Name: Eugene

Species: Corphish

Approximate level: 15

Ability: Hyper Cutter

Moves learnt: Bubble, Harden, Vice Grip, Leer

Opposing Team

Name: Nala

Species: Litleo

Approximate level: 15

Ability: Rivalry

Moves learnt: Tackle, Leer, Ember, Work Up, Headbutt, Noble Roar

Name: Huey

Species: Psyduck

Approximate level: 15

Ability: Damp

Moves learnt: Water Sport, Scratch, Tail Whip, Water Gun, Disable, Confusion

Deleted scene:

"Any luck?"

"Not even a glance!" Tierno called back.

Trevor grumbled, "At this rate, we'll never find a Riolu! How are we supposed to complete the Pokédex entry for Lucario?"

Tierno walked over, with Eugene scuttling on behind. "We could capture one."

"Don't be silly; Lucario are extremely rare in Kalos, so we're not likely to meet one, let alone capture one!"

Somewhere, in our universe, the fandom is laughing their asses off.