Epilogue

"Thank you for your time, Louise. You may go now."

Louise nodded, and got up from the chair in the headmaster's office. She left quickly, not even bothering to close the door.

Louise ran through the corridors to her room, tears flowing behind her. Classmates saw her coming, and instead of jeering at her like they always did, they stepped aside awkwardly, with their head down.

Louise eventually reached her room and thrust the door open, slamming it shut and jumping onto the remade bed. She grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, crying in anguish and pure tragedy.

It had been three days since Saito had tried to kill himself not two feet from where Louise weeped. She had seen him talk to air, to what he called 'Xerxes'. She had seen him put the blade to his heart. And she had screamed as he fell onto the sword with deliberation, using his left hand to steady it.

Louise could remember Siesta coming into the room, wondering what the screaming was about. She remembered the maid screaming and almost fainting in shock, but quickly gathering herself to carry Saito to the infirmary. He had passed out from lack of blood.

Saito was downstairs in the medical ward now, recovering. The doctors told Louise that because his left hand was so weak from cutting so often, it had practically given out when Saito fell to push it into his chest. The blade had shifted and punctured his right lung, coming out the other side. With magic and a couple days of rest, they said Saito would make a full recovery. They even said that they could reconnect his right hand. However, she was forbidden from seeing him.

Derflinger seemed to be having one of the worst times out of everyone currently, however. He was the one who cut off Saito's hand, and even though everyone reassured him that it wasn't his fault, he still hadn't said anything ever since the tape had been removed from his mouth.

Louise sobbed louder. These were her days now, falling into a pillow each day and night, crying for what seemed like hours straight, each time worse than the last.

The headmaster had wanted to know the full story of what had been going on with Saito, since he wasn't saying anything. Louise couldn't tell him. She knew that if she did, all hope of getting Saito to at least tolerate her again would be lost, and she would feel even worse than he.

She already was sinking into a miniature depression. She would always walk into the bathroom and see the knife on the counter and think, maybe, maybe just once...

What did Saito get from it, she wondered. Why did Saito think that by cutting he could ease the horrors of life, the demon that was her? Maybe he had something, maybe real, sharp pain can distract from everyday pain, the kind that happens no matter what you do. Make it worse to make it better,

Louise suddenly heard a knock on the door. She didn't answer it; she never did. Whoever wanted to see her would usually write down a message and slip it under the door, saying that somebody wanted to talk to her, or that dinner was in a half hour.

Another knock. Louise subconsciously noticed that this was odd; nobody ever knocked twice. But once again, she didn't answer it, weeping even more into the tear-stained pillows.

And then she heard a clicking, prompting her to turn around and see Siesta walking into the room with a tray with what seemed like two steaming cups of tea.

Louise glared at her. "Get out of my room."

Siesta ignored her, setting the tray down on the table and taking two spoons out of her apron, placing them onto the tray. "Drink up. It'll make you feel better."

"I don't much like tea."

"Then it's a good thing it's hot chocolate, which I'm sure you'll like." She handed Louise a cup, which Louise accepted begrudgingly. She grabbed a spoon, stirred for a couple seconds, and took a sip. This was promptly spit out onto her sleeve as she gasped in pain.

"Ow! Hot!"

Siesta grinned slightly. "Louise, it just got done. Of course it's going to be hot." Siesta rummaged around in her apron until she found a napkin, which she handed to Louise. Louise glared at her as she took the napkin, and wiped off her sleeve as best she could.

Siesta set her own cup down. "So. How's it going?"

Louise didn't answer. She didn't have to; both of them realized that it was a pretty stupid question.

Siesta cleared her throat. "Um... I came to deliver a message."

Louise looked up from her drink. "Okay. What's the message?"

Siesta gently set her cup down onto the tray, as though she feared it would explode. "Saito wishes to talk to you."

Louise blinked. "I'm not allowed to go see him. The doctors themselves told me that."

"Well, the doctors seemed to have revoked their statement, seeing as they passed on the message from Saito."

Louise frowned. "Well, you can tell him that I don't want to see him."

Siesta rotated her mug slowly. "Um... Why?"

"Because he's the only reason this entire mess got started! He's made me out of a familiar! I have to balance doing chores, school, and dealing with people asking what happened! And what should I tell them? That my familiar was trying to kill himself so that he wouldn't feel like a slave anymore? Or that he was cutting himself for a month because of this guy named Xerxes? What do I do?"

"Well, you can start by calming down. I don't think they'll have to ask you to talk to Saito if you shout it loud enough for the whole school to hear."

Louise glared at Siesta, who simply took another sip from her drink.

"You know, it helps to actually think about this."

"Really? How so?" Louise's tone had an edge to it, which Siesta seemed to not notice.

"If he wants to talk to you, that means he's not angry at you. I'm sure that-"

"Sure that what?! That I'll get there and he'll welcome me with hugs and kisses? That he'll be willing to forgive and forget? No! He just wants to yell at me!"

"Maybe he does, Louise. But you won't know that if you don't go. And besides-" Siesta stood up and gathered the mugs and spoons onto the tray. "He's still your familiar."

And with that she walked out, shutting the door behind her softly.

Louise stared at where she had gone.

Is he?

Yes.

He is.

Louise was standing outside the door of the medical ward. She was trying desperately to convince herself that she shouldn't be here.

What if Saito doesn't want me here? What if he orders me out?

She raised her hand and extended shaking knuckles to the door.

What if Saito doesn't address it and tries to kill himself again? What if he tries to kill me?

Her hand paused in the air, inches from the door.

One knock. And if they don't answer, I didn't knock, and I'm going back to my room.

She rapped the door. Once. It was louder than she thought.

Huh. No answer. Good. Now, let's go-

The door opened and she was greeted by one of the doctors. "Louise?"

Louise practically jumped a foot. "W-W-What? Um... Y-Y-Yeah, that's me."

The doctor smiled. "Saito's waiting for you. He's in the second stall on the left, behind the curtain. He says that you don't have to knock or anything."

Louise nodded, and took brisk steps forward. She turned left and counted tentatively, until she reached the second stall.

This is it.

I shouldn't be here. I'm going to my room.

"Louise? You can just come in, didn't the doctor tell you that?"

Louise jumped again. "But... But how did you know I was here?"

A laugh. "Because you have a distinctive shadow. Come in."

Louise took a step forward, and cautiously opened the curtain. She gulped, took a deep breath, and stepped inside, closing the curtain behind her.

Saito was lying in bed, with a green blanket over him. He was propped up so that he could see Louise instead of the ceiling. His hair was a little messed up, but he seemed content and healthy.

He gestured to a chair by the bed, near the dresser. "Here, take a seat."

Louise walked over to the chair, trying to hold back tears. Here was the man, no, the boy that she had hurt in some way unknown to all but he. And he was welcoming her as though she were just any guest!

She sat down. "So. You wanted to see me?"

Saito nodded. "Um... I wanted to talk about a couple things."

Louise nodded.

"But I didn't know how to phrase them all. So I figured that I'd just tell you everything that's been going on. Please don't interrupt. I want you to know this."

And he talked for what seemed like hours about their arguments and his misconceived betrayals. He told her about his first time cutting and his feelings of hopelessness. He expressed his problems with being called a dog, and his bigger problems with not living up to it. He apologized for his lying and his cutting. And he was almost in tears when he talked about Xerxes and the havoc that the voice had done to his head.

Louise sat through all of this with her hand over her mouth, tears flowing silently down her cheeks.

I didn't realize how much Saito had been going through.

And it's all my fault.

Saito turned his head to look at her, and gasped in shock. "Louise, no. Don't cry, it's okay now."

Louise wailed loudly. "It's not okay! It's-" Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth, for fear of someone hearing her.

Saito smiled sadly. "Don't worry. The wards are enchanted. Only the person inside and whoever they choose can hear what's going on inside. Go on."

Louise nodded, and started wailing again. "No! It's all my fault! I called you a dog! I whipped you! Everything that happened to you was my fault! I- I can't live with myself, Saito, knowing that you tried to kill yourself because of me! Maybe I should kill my-"

"Oh, Louise... No..."

Saito sat up and reached out from under the blanket, pulling Louise to his chest and letting her cry into it. She clutched his shirt and sobbed loudly, not caring that Saito was there, not noticing his completely healed hand.

"Louise... We all make mistakes. Some more than others. But I think that we all learn, and you seem to have learned."

"But-But Saito, what if I do it again? What if?!"

Saito pulled her away and held her so that she could look into his eyes. "You won't. I'll help you. After all, I am your familiar."

"But your hand-"

He held up his right hand, completely healed at the wrist. "What about it?"

This prompted another round of tears from Louise, and she collapsed into his chest again, wailing for a good three minutes while Saito just held her.

Eventually Louise got up. "When do you get out?"

Saito frowned, and lay back. 'Well, I'm here for another two days, just resting to make sure that my lungs are healed. But you can visit me anytime."

Louise nodded and wiped her eyes. "One more thing: Psychiatrist?"

Louise had expected his eyes to darken, but instead he just smiled. "I've been seeing one each day when the doctors aren't treating me, and soon I'll have appointments Friday afternoons. I'm going to be just fine, Louise."

She nodded, and dashed out before she could break into tears again. She bolted through the hallways into her room and shut the door, flopping onto her bed in tears.

But this time, they were tears of joy.

Saito grinned watching her go.

She sure did take that a lot better than I thought she would. No 'explosion' or anything,

He sighed in contention, and leaned back to take a quick nap.

It's going to be okay.

And, for the first time since Saito could remember, there was no response.

The End