Chapter 10: Where is she ?
3 weeks later
Clay's sitting in the office as he sees Jason hurriedly walk past the internal glass window.
"Hey where's Jason going?"
Ray look out the window. He frowns "I have No Idea!"
"Looks like it must be important?... he's got his service uniform on"
Ray looks puzzled "Well he didn't say anything" they both exchange confused glances.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Jason coughs.
He runs his finger round the Collar on his uniform. He hates wearing full uniform he'd rather his T-Shirt and combats any day.
Uniform was the one thing about the Navy he wasn't keen on.
He's agitated as he sits nervously rubbing his hands on his trousers, looking at the paintings on the waiting room wall.
The secretary sees how anxious he is, she's use to it. Most people sitting where he is, are nervous.
Every so often she looks up from her computer and gives him a reassuring smile.
Jason smiles back apprehensively. He could be in any war zone coming under fire but sitting here in this office, in uniform... well that really makes him more nervous.
Finally after what seems ages, the large wooden oak door opens.
"Right Master Chief you have 10mins. Make this quick" The Admiral shows him into his office.
Jason coughs as he stands up "Thank you, for seeing me, Sir"
They close the door.
"So... what can I do for you?" the Admiral's short and to the point. He looks at his watch "I have a meeting to attend so if we could get on with this"
Jason's thinking about how to word what he wants to know. In fact its all he's been thinking about all morning on the way here. In the end he thinks it's just best to come out with it
"errrm... Firstly I'd like to offer my condolences, for your wife"
the Admiral nods in acceptance "accepted"
Jason coughs before continuing "What I came here for was... errrmm...well I guess you know what want to know? ..errrm need to know!" he pauses "Where is she?"
The Admiral lets out a long sigh and stares at him. He doesn't say a word. He looks Jason up and down getting the measure of him and contemplating his words "Where who is, Mr Hayes?"
Jason sighs and shakes his head "Sir... I'm sorry if this appears rude but we could dance around all day like this and not being funn you said 10mins.. so excuse me if I'm blunt and cut to it but you know exactly who I'm talking about" he swallows hard "Catherine! where is she?"
He hardly ever calls her by her full name but it just feels appropriate right now. He stares as the Admiral trying be firm and not to show his emotions.
The Admiral admires his directness. He smiles but doesn't reply.
"Sir. ...Was she at the house?" he waits for an answer.
The Admiral doesn't move or respond.
Jason frowns and tries again "Oh god is she dead too?... is that what you're covering up? Sir.. please" he swallows hard again. He tried to prepare himself on the way here for that news but now he's here he's hoping that's not the answer he gets.
The Admiral smiles and laughs as Jason's forthrightness
"In someways I have to admire you Master Chief" he takes a deep breath " You come here like this... even after all this time. All the trouble she causes...My god..." he laughs "What she nearly cost you with your career! and yet somehow you still will not stay away. Unbelievable!"
He may laugh but in truth he's playing for time.
Thinking his words over carefully. Wondering what he can tell him to satisfy his curiosity. What will he believe and what he won't.
The Admiral's tone now changes "I'm sorry I cant tell you anything. So you appear to have had a wasted journey"
Jason watches him pace to the window
"Look Sir, as I said with all due respect.." Jason softens his tone hoping he might appeal to the Admiral as a father now ".. I just want to know that she's alright?"
The silence between them could cut glass.
Jason feels his temper rising "For god sake Sir!... PLEASE I need to know...is she safe?"
The Admiral turns from the window and weighs up Jason's emotions. "If I don't tell you something you're not going to leave this alone are you?"
"No Sir... Sorry I can't. I have to know"
He takes a deep breath in "Look...Jason...all I can tell you is... Yes!... Yes at the moment... she's OK!" He nods thinking "But really... you NEED to let this go, for your own sake and Catherine's"
Jason breathes a sigh of relief "Sorry Sir. Like I said, I can't" he's relived but he needs to know more "I need to know where? Where is she?... I just need to know that"
The Admiral holds his breath as if he going to say something then he pauses and sighs. He looks at his watch again "I think your 10mins is up" he purses his lips "I'm sorry Mr Hayes but it's been a rather trying few weeks...and as I said I have meeting to get to"
"I'm not leaving till I know where she is" Jason digs his heels in
"Mr Hayes sometimes as an officer you have to make unemotional decisions. As Team Leader you know emotions can cloud judgement. Clouded judgement gets people killed"
Jason frowns wondering what he means "Sir all I want to know is where she is? That's it...then I'll leave" he gulps before he speaks "Is she hurt?" he pauses wondering if he should divulge his next statement " I know she was at the house... The report said someone else was at the house, and there was blood found!"
The admiral looks surprised by the revelation that Jason knows this.
They stand eyeing each other up. " You're very resourceful Mr Hayes..." He nods "It's stood you in good stead as SEAL and as a leader of men" he pauses frowning at Jason "Don't let that be your undoing now… or my daughters"
Jason frowns he's not sure what he means by that. "Where? ... SIR! please!"
The admiral turns his back and once again stares out of the large wooden window of the office. He's contemplating in silence what, if anything, to tell Jason.
Minutes tick by and he doesn't say anything. Finally he takes a deep breath and exhales. "Fine!...You really want to know where she is? ... She's in a medical facility... for addictions. She's getting treatment"
"Rehab?" Jason's taken aback by this revelation "I don't understand. Treatment?... Treatment for what?"
the Admiral lets out a deep sigh "Catherine has a serious alcohol and errrm...medication, Pain Medication addiction" he shakes his head.
He closes his eyes and takes a long deep breath in and let's it out slowly "Oh! Jason... she's been a mess since she came back. She hasn't been coping with the pain, not sleeping. Then on top of the drinking she became more and more reliant on the pills to get her through"
He shakes his head "you know her... everything in excess!"
Jason thinks back trying to understand this "I don't get it .. I thought she was getting better.. Yeah ..I mean she's always drank a lot but she's always been like that. But painkillers?" he closes his eyes to think "though I suppose now I think abou she was taking quite a lot. ... but it was still early days. I mean... she had a lot of intense pain at one point... so I guess I didn't think anything of it"
Jason does remember her always wanting them and taking more than the prescribed dose.
The Admiral continues " I… errrmm" he hesitates. "... I also made the decision to ...errrrm... to have her medically discharged from the Navy" he pauses
"not a decision I took lightly or that I'm proud of but ...errrmmm ..the decision had to be made... for her own good" he bites his lip thinking about it " She would have never taken the decision herself and she would've just kept pushing herself to get fit. It uncontrollable spiral"
He stops.
"I can justify what I did but... phewww!.. that doesn't stop her hating me for it. The problems just got worse from there. So…. we are at this point now and dealing with it." He stops and looks at Jason
"Woaah! ..That would have crushed her... losing the Navy .. Hell,,," he rubs his head trying to consider the thought "Jesus... even a desk job would have broken her heart"
the Admiral nods "I know. No-one more than me knows what she put into get to where she was but ... a decision had to be made!...and errrm... she doesn't know about her Mother yet either"
"Oh Jeez... !" Jason perches on the edge of the desk and rubs his hands over his forehead. He lets out a deep long sigh "SHIT! What a mess!"
"Yes it it is" the Admiral composes himself "but I hope that answers your questions Mr Hayes?" he looks at his watch "as I sadi I need to go now"
Jason goes quiet and thinks "Where?"
The Admiral turns to look. "Mr Hayes.. we're done here, now" he walks towards the door and opens it
Jason pleads "Where? Which facility? I need to see her"
"That's impossibl. She needs complete rest. No visitors I'm afraid. It's part of the terms of the facility and it won't do you or her any good to see each other. The best thing is for you to forget. Move on" he turns "Jason.. We both know from recent events, losing a love one is very painful. It takes time to get over, but eventually we must move forward. She needs to move forward. ..she can't do that with you in her life"
He shows Jason out the door "Sorry I can't be be of any more Help. Goodbye Mr Hayes" he beckons him out and closes the door.
"Sir!" Jason's not happy but he salutes and leaves
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Back out in the waiting room Jason stands thinking.
"Something's not right" He's trying to process what he's just been told, but his gut is telling him "something doesn't add up here".
There's something not right with what Admiral was telling him.
He sighs his head spins. "I know something I need to get out of this uniform"
He heads back to base
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Taking off his collar and undoing his jacket he walks back to his cage. He needs to sit down.
"Hey" Clay stands clinging to the metal grill on the door of the cage. He watches Jason "Where have you been?"
there's no answer. After a few minutes of silence Clay dare to speak again "You went to see him? Admiral Lewis?" He's taking an intellectual guess at where Jason has been.
Jason looks up and nods. "Yeah!" The information the Admiral told him is still going round in his head
Clay stands silently thinking.
Neither looks at each other.
After another minute or so Clay swallows and breaks the silence "Is she Okay?"
They have this kinda uneasy truce about her going on. An acknowledgement of each others feelings.
Clay's waiting for answer which doesn't come "I said, is she okay?"
Finally Jason shrugs "He says so" he stops and frowns "but I don't know... Somethings not right"
Clay watches Jason's reaction "What do you mean somethings not right? .. What did he say?"
Jason looks up at him. He can't speak. He just shrugs. He's still processing everything for himself
Ray comes through not realising the conversation they're having "Hey boss what's up?" he cheerfully says.
Noting the silence and their reaction he stops.
Sonny goes to his cage whistling. He turns to look at the silent room "Wow someone die?" He jokes. Then he looks at the reaction "Okay! please tell me someone did not die?"
Clay and Jason look at him.
"Not now Sonny" Ray stops him
"Okay is one of you going tell us what's going on?" he looks between them "Jason? … Clay?"
Clay looks at the floor. He coughs whilst swinging on the cage door.
Ray weighs up the way they're looking and Jason's uniform. "This got something to do with the News report?" he frowns and bites his lip while he thinks "So what did he say?... Jason..you hear me? What did her father say?...That's where you went, right?"
"Wait!... What's going on here I feel like I'm the dunce of the class " Sonny frowns "What does he mean what did her father say? .. What's with the uniform? You in trouble?" He looks at Ray and back to Jason "Will someone, please, tell me what the hell is going on otherwise I'm gonna start losing my shit with ya all?"
Jason shrugs and sighs "ahhh!... I'm not sure what's going on! ... he...the Admiral said errmm.. that she's in rehab" he rubs his head
"Who's in Rehab?" Sonny's still confused. Then the realisation comes and he closes his eyes and shakes his head "WOW!... jeez!" he lets out a massive sigh. "Guess there's one party too many! Even for her" he laughs
Jason glares at him "she's not there for just drinking... but Painkillers as well"
Sonny nods and smiles . "Might have guessed knowing her. She always did do everything in excess" he shrugs as everyone looks at him "well it's truth... is she gonna be Okay?" he shows a bit of concern
"I don't know! I'm still getting my head round it"
Clay rubs his head he's thinking about it too.
"You haven't seen her? " Ray asks.
Jason shakes his head. "He won't tell me where" He looks at his guys "but something's not right...I can feel it"
"Well obviously durrr! Not if she in Rehab!" Sonny laughs as he's getting dressed
Jason glares at him
Ray shakes his Head "Sonny, enough with the wisecracks man"
"NO I mean what he told me.." he pauses " I think it's a lie"
Ray frowns "Brother!... look.. I know you don't wanna hear that about her,but why would he lie? I mean come on manr ...the guys an Admiral and her father why would he lie about something like this?"
"Yeah Jace why you think he would lie?" Clay frowns "Seriously what you don't think she's in the rehab? You know if I think about it, she did cane the meds and drink pretty hard"
"Come on man! Jason!... seriously?... you know what she's like. She don't do nothing by halves" Sonny says pulling his T shirt over his head
Ray, Sonny and Clay all look at each other. Jason is still staring at the floor
Finally Jason speaks "Wheres' Trent?"
"Errrm... in the canteen I think?" Clay looks up "Why?"
"I need to see him... See if he can find out from her medical records" he gets up and leaves
Ray folds his arms. Sonny shakes his head. Clay exchanges glances with them both.
They're all concerned now, They don't know what's going on.
"Shit!..." Sonny says shaking his head " ... sure as hell now Jason's not gonna leave this alone! Damn!"
He slams his cage door shut.
o-o-o-o-o-o