Day of the Party, Friday October 31

PHOEBE POV

"Alright so we're gonna have Scotty DJ at the party when we're not playing, so that covers the music. Tonight is going to be fucking insane." Ryan threw his hands up on the last part as Dylan, Peyton, Brooke and myself started to laugh at his enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes as I rested my hands out in front of me on the lunch table.

"So what songs are we going to do tonight? I think we should play a couple of 5 Seconds of Summer's songs from their new album, its genius." Dylan spoke up from my left, the others agreed as they fell into a discussion of which songs should be played from the album. I felt soft hands brush against mine as Brooke moved to intertwine our hands. I sighed as I looked down at ours hands. Guilt. That's all that I felt. Things hadn't been the same between us for a while now and it was starting to feel like our relationship was crashing towards the ground. And it was all my fault, I was the sole reason that it was getting harder between us. I knew the reason of why it was starting to harder too…Christina. I realized that I'm in love with my sister.

It all made sense to me now. The way our hugs lasted just a bit longer than what would be 'normal', the touchiness and closeness that was always present when it was just the two of us, the lingering looks that we exchanged with each other. It all fit together like pieces to a puzzle now. The way my heart would flutter when she was near me, the way my mind was constantly filled with thoughts of her when she wasn't with me. I found myself constantly feeling protective of her, watching out for her, and I couldn't help it.

I felt like an addict; the way I needed her, the way I craved her. And no matter how much time we spent together, no matter how long the time since I'd last seen her, I couldn't get enough of her.

It was like a blood rush straight to my head when I thought of her, an injection to my heart. I felt her in my veins. She was like my own, personal brand of heroin.

FLASHBACK

1 month ago…

The whole family had piled into the living room tonight as it was deemed 'family movie night'. Aldo and Ethan were sitting in their bean bag cushions that we had brought down. Joni and Harry sat on the floor in front of the TV, beside of the little ones. Behind them, we moved all the couches to face the TV. The 3 seater couch in the middle, with the loveseat on one side and the recliner on the other. Me and Christina had taken up the loveseat while Frank, Helen, and William occupied the couch with Dylan claiming the recliner for himself.

Movies that were skewed across the coffee table included: The Amazing Spider-Man, Paranorman, and Cheaper by the Dozen (which we all had laughed about the irony of). Various bowls of popcorn, snacks, and drinks were also making their way from the kitchen to the living room as everyone settled down as the movie began.

First one up was The Amazing Spider-Man and I was glad; get my choice out of the way and then sit on my phone the rest of the time.

Halfway through the movie I took notice of how Christina had slowly had started to move her body closer to mine. Centimeter by centimeter, she scooted closer towards me until our legs brushed against each other. Christina curled her legs under herself so that she was leaning into my right side. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks from the closeness of her and subtly took a glance around the room to see if anyone had noticed our current position. Everyone was engaged in the movie as I stole a glance at the screen and saw Spider-Man saving the boy from the burning car on the bridge.

All I could focus on was how Christina's hand had drifted to my leg. The movie on the screen was completely forgotten as her fingers lightly ran up and down my thigh drawing circles and patterns. The tingles that radiated through me caused a loss of all control of my body, as I leaned in even closer towards the blonde. The shift in movement however caused her fingers to stop their efforts and I let a sigh of disappointment.

I threw my head backwards in frustration against the couch and gazed up at the ceiling praying that this torture would soon be over. My head snapped back down however when I felt light, thin fingers sneaking their way into mine. Chancing a look at Christina, I swear the girl looked unaware of what she was doing. A light squeeze and her thumb stroking the back of my hand made me think otherwise and I looked up from our hands and back to her beautiful face as she was already looking at me. Christina's brown eyes went back to the screen, but the small smile splayed across her face remained.

Unsure of what the heck was going on, I nervously gave the blonde's hand a soft squeeze of encouragement and forced myself to stare at the screen in front of me. Almost instantly, I was rewarded as Christina brought her thumb in between our hands and began to tenderly caress my palm. My breathing definitely starting to get harder to do as the small touches were starting to drive me crazy. Warmth spread throughout my entire body and I had to bite her lower lip in order to refrain from letting any noises out. I mentally cursed myself for the reactions I was having towards my sister.

I tried to subtly slide my hand out of Brooke's but it didn't work.

"Let's play all the songs that we've been practicing and we'll throw in some 5 Seconds of Summer too." I told the group as I could feel Brooke's eyes on mine as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Better yet let's practice that new song we've been working on. I really like it, even though it's not gonna get played tonight."

"Yeah alright, we should perform it more often at our gigs, your voices are perfect for this song." Dylan told me and Ryan. Dylan and I got our guitars out of the cases on the ground as Peyton cleared space on the table to drum. I could still feel Brooke's eyes on me as I tuned the guitar real quick.

"Phoebe…" She started as she placed a hand on my forearm, halting my actions. I squeezed my eyes shut, I wasn't ready to have the conversation with her. The 'what's happening to us' conversation. The 'pre-break up' conversation. The conversation when I would break her heart.

"You guys ready?" Peyton asked as we all nodded. I heard Brooke sigh from beside me as she released my arm.

CHRISTINA POV

I sat at the lunch table, leaning back against the chair with my arms crossed over my chest. Thoughts of Phoebe clouded my mind. It had been Phoebe was always watching out for me, protecting me. She was always making sure I was okay and she always kept me balanced.

"Christina! Helloooooooo?" My thoughts were interrupted when I was hit with a grape, Nick brought me out of my thoughts as he waved his hand in front of my face.

"Sorry." I muttered as I leaned forward.

"You were way out of it." Nick laughed at me as he and his football buddies joined in. I forced a smile as I tried to take my mind away from earlier.

And every whisper, it's the worst,

Emptied out by a single word

There is a hollow in me now

I turned swiftly in my chair to find the voice. To find her voice. I looked towards the front of the room as I saw Phoebe strumming her guitar with Dylan. Peyton was drumming on the table as Ryan was singing back up with Phoebe. They sat on the steps of cafeteria, away from everyone else. Phoebe had her back to me as Peyton and Ryan sat across from her, Dylan sat to Phoebe's left and Brooke was on her right. I watched as they all had their eyes closed and were engrossed in the music that they were making. They were in their own little world, and failed to notice that they had started to attract a small crowd of students.

So I put my faith in something unknown,

I'm living on such sweet nothing.

But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold,

I'm living on such sweet nothing.

Phoebe's voice had me mesmerized as I couldn't break away from staring at her. Her voice was angelic, and sounded amazing, especially with this song. I had heard this song coming from Phoebe's speakers a few days ago and now it sounded even better as it was sung from her lips. She strummed the guitar as Ryan joined in with her, backing her vocals. Everyone in the cafeteria was watching them intently, including the teachers, as they continued their little 'performance'.

And it's not enough

To tell me that you care

When, we both know the words are empty air

You give me nothing

Phoebe sang out the last of the song as Dylan came to an end on the guitar. Everyone in the room began to clap and cheer as some walked over to talk to them. I watched at the quartet as they all broke out into smiles at the unexpected applause. I could barely see Phoebe through the crowd as she began to become blocked from my view. I watched as Peyton caught my gaze. We stared at each other briefly before Peyton leaned over to Phoebe and whispered in her ear. Phoebe pulled back away from Peyton as she turned her head in my direction.

Brown met brown as our eyes locked on each other's. We stared at each other for what felt like minutes when in reality it was only for a few seconds. Neither of us tried to force a smile as we stood there, waiting for the other to react.

"Who the fuck sings in the middle of lunch?" Nick suggested as he rolled his eyes, annoyed. Just then, almost as if fate hated me, Brooke was on Phoebe's arm, kissing her on the cheek. Phoebe's face flushed red as our eyes broke and we both turned to our significant others.

"It was actually really good Nick." I argued with him as I turned back around.

"Yeah if you like your ears bleeding." Nick snickered as he high-fived some of his buddies. I rolled my eyes at him and his ignorance. With my mind made up, I collected my things and stood up as I had had enough of him.

"Where are you going?" Nick asked me as his face dropped.

"Away from you and your douchebag 'friends'." All of the guys rolled their eyes and muttered various words at me; 'bitch', 'slut', etc. I didn't really care at that point, I grabbed my bag as I turned and started to head towards the doors to the quad. I was halfway across the room when I heard Nick yell.

"Come on Christina! Take a joke!" He yelled as eyes started to wonder in our direction. The quiet clicking of my short heels started to echo in the room as I ignored him and continued on my way. I knew that we were making a scene, I could feel the various eyes of students on me. I looked to my right as I saw William sitting with his group of friends, text books open on the table. I chuckled at how, even during lunch break, he was still studying something. Ever the over-achiever.

I kept walking as I approached the front of the lunch room, about 15 feet from Phoebe and her friends. I heard footsteps behind me as Nick was by my side.

"Christina, wait." He demanded as we both stopped. I sighed as I turned to face him. His green eyes looked to me as he scratched the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry. I just- I don't know, that's how the guys act." He told me as I released a sarcastic laugh. I shook my head as I was becoming more annoyed at him by the second.

"So you act like a dick because your friends think it's cool?" I asked him as his jaw clenched and his gaze hardened.

"Since when did you have a problem with how me and my friends act?" He questioned, his tone containing traces of anger in it.

"Ever since you started talking shit about my family. News-flash: all your friends are douchebags." I spat at him as the room had become quiet. I crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for him.

"Yeah and all your 'friends' are the sluts of the school." Nick muttered under his breath. I glared at him as I turned on my heel and started to walk away from him.

"Hey!" Nick yelled at me as I felt him grab above my elbow and spin me back around to him. I winced from the amount of pressure he was using as he didn't let go. "I'm not done talking." He said through his teeth.

"Nick let go of me." I whispered. I tried to speak with a firm voice, but I couldn't swallow the fear as it came out.

"Listen, I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but don't you think that you can embarrass me in front of my friends." He hissed as me, pulling me even closer so that our faces were close.

"I suggest you take my hands off my sister before I break them." I looked behind Nick as I saw William jogging towards us. He stopped in front of Nick as Nick let go of me and turned to him. Nick and William were square to each other and eye to eye. I felt a hand placed on my lower back as Peyton was by my side, watching Nick with hawk eyes.

"Is there a problem here Willy?" Dylan appeared in front of me protectively as Nick turned back around to us. He was cornered if he dared to try and start anything.

Peyton was still by my side, her right arm wrapped around my shoulders as her left rubbed up and down my left arm. She continued to comfort me as Dylan and William were in 'protective older brother' mode and I couldn't be more thankful for it right now.

"There's nothing to worry about, everything's fine here. Right Christina?" Nick looked to me, his eyes telling me to go along with him. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I decided to finally stand up for myself against him.

"I think you should go Nick." I told him, this time with more authority in my voice. Nick's eyebrows rose as William smirked back to Nick.

"Christina-"

"I'm done Nick. I'm done having you talk bad about my family, I'm done having you walk all over me all of the time, and I'm done dating a douchebag." I told him as Peyton hugged me closer. If it was possible, Nick's eyeballs grew 2x their normal size. He looked from me to Peyton, to Dylan, and then he looked behind me and his whole demeanor changed completely. His eyebrows creased in anger and if looks could kill, whoever he was glaring at would be 6 feet under.

I frowned as I turned to look over my right shoulder. There stood Phoebe and Ryan, both watching the scene in front of them. Phoebe was giving Nick the same look that Nick was giving her as Ryan patted her on the back. This seemed to help Phoebe relax as her shoulders dropped slightly and I watched as she unclenched her fist. Ryan told her something I couldn't hear as she nodded and they both turned around.

"This isn't over Christina, we can talk later." Nick muttered as he made his way out of the circle we all had formed around him. William and Dylan watched him walk out of the cafeteria as he slammed the door against the wall.

I looked back to my brothers as they both came up to me asking if I was okay. I nodded as I pulled them both into a hug and thanked them as they promised to 'break his face in' if Nick bothered me again. I turned to Peyton as I thanked her sheepishly.

"It's not a problem Christina. More people care about you than you think." She added more meaning to the second sentence as she walked back to her table with Dylan. I stood still, taking in her words. I turned on the spot as she was talking to Brooke, Phoebe and Dylan were putting away their guitars as Ryan joined in the conversation with Peyton and Brooke. I ran Peyton's words over and over again as I watched Phoebe.

"More people care about you than you think." Maybe Peyton was right. I shouldn't have yelled at Phoebe for just making sure I'm alright. After all, it's what friends and/or sisters do, right? Phoebe treated me the same way she treated Peyton right? I knew they were lies. All of them.

We're not friends. Phoebe knew me like no one else did. She understood me and I understood her just as equally. We could read each other and we just fit like puzzles pieces. If we hadn't spent so much time the first few months of our parents new marriage fighting, we would have realized how great we got along as friends. But that's just it…

We're not friends.

Friends don't sleep in the same bed. Friends don't snuggle closer to each other in the middle of the night when they think the other is asleep. They didn't link hands with each other when they watch movies. They didn't try to sit in each other's laps because the idea of not touching each other was crazy.

Friends don't treat me the way Phoebe does. The way she watches it me. I've noticed it for a while now. She is always making sure that I'm okay, the intense look she gives me is like she is willing to take a bullet for me. The silent way she asks if I'm okay, to which I give her a subtle look or nod. Maybe it's her instinct, being the oldest of the North kids, to look after me. But it doesn't feel that way. It doesn't feel like she thinks of me as a 'responsibility'. She knows I can take care of myself. But rather, she feels safer checking up on me herself.

We're not friends.

I realized that I had been staring. I had been staring at Phoebe as she filled my thoughts. She must have sensed it because in that moment, she looked up at me. I didn't try to cover up the fact that I had been staring at her. I didn't try to turn away either. The way her eyes looked to me, I felt like she could see into my soul. Those chocolate eyes it seemed were reading my thoughts, which if spoken, would ruin everything. Those eyes that I had grown to fall a little bit for each and every day I saw them, were looking right back into mine as I felt frozen in place.

We're not friends. We couldn't be friends.

We couldn't be friends for one reason and one reason only.

I was in love with her.