I do not own these characters. Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and character names. All plot lines, characterizations, details, etc. belong to Justagirl1238. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization from the author.

DaniaMCullen is my amazing beta! She keeps me in proper tense & whips me if I'm naughty. The brilliant AydenM pre-reads for me (and makes me cry weekly with her notes on my chapters!). These two ladies rock my world and I love them!

THIS STORY CONTAINS/MAY CONTAIN GRAPHIC SEXUAL CONTENT, ADULT LANGUAGE (courtesy of my trucker mouth), DRUG/ALCOHOL USE, ETC. IF YOU ARE NOT OF AGE TO READ SUCH MATERIAL, GO READ A FUZZY LITTLE APPROPRIATE STORY…THE SMUT WILL STILL BE THERE WHEN YOU ARE LEGAL.

Chapter 10 – About Last Night

EPOV

"Edward! We are so, so proud of you!" my grandmother says as she pinches my cheeks.

Fucking-A. I'm a high school graduate now for Christ's sake…will this shit never end?

Every time I see my grandma my cheeks immediately go into lockdown. Thank god she only comes to town like once a year.

I look around our backyard at the sea of relatives and my parent's colleagues and friends. I feel like I know maybe twenty of the people here today. It's cool though. My parents are almost as excited about me graduating as I am, so I wont begrudge them their celebration.

I, on the other hand, am ready to hit the real party.

After four hours of hand shaking, cheek pinching and drunken hugs from people I don't know, my parents finally pull me aside to let me off the hook. It's almost seven o'clock and my cell has been buzzing for at least an hour now with a stream of texts from Jasper and Emmett asking me where the fuck I am. Apparently their parents released them from captivity after only a couple hours.

"Alright sweetie, you can go," my mother says as she straightens my tie. "Just…call us when you get to the beach so we know you made it safely, okay?"

I nod.

"Edward, we have something for you," my dad says as he helps extract me from my mother's grip. I follow him into the house and to the den, my mother trailing behind. She's had a few glasses of wine now and I fear the tears are going to start again soon.

He hands me a small ring box. I look at it quizzically for a moment wondering why he would give me a ring?

"We figured you were deserving of an upgrade," he says as he motions for me to open the box.

When I do, I am surprised to find a key. I hold it up and look at my parents, still not quite understanding.

"Edward…" my mother interjects, "I think there might be something in the garage for you."

Now I get it.

My ass is out of the den and in the garage at the speed of light.

There in the third stall is a brand fucking new Volvo!

I am like a little kid on Christmas morning.

"No. Fucking. Way!" I practically scream as I make my way over to the car. I hit the button on the key ring and it beeps. I open the door, climb in and sit in the car, running my hands up and down the steering wheel, looking around the car with a shit eating grin on my face.

My parents have managed to make it out to the garage now.

"Do you like it?" my mom asks and I bob my head up and down.

"Well, you've been driving my old Volvo for almost two years now and we figured you might like something new to make those trips back and forth from Seattle," my dad adds. "It's a XC90, but if you want something different, we can go to the dealer next week. I told them it was a surprise, so the guy said if it wasn't what you wanted…"

"No…God no, dad. This is amazing! Thank you guys so much! It's perfect!"

The car is a fucking kick ass jet black color. The interior is an off black leather. It sits three seats deep. There's a built in GPS that rises out of the dash, TV screens behind the driver & front passenger seats. Everything smells so fucking new.

After spending about twenty minutes going over everything in the car with my dad, I run upstairs to change my clothes and am off…in my new fucking ride!

I call Em to let him know about the car and to tell him I am on my way.

About half way there though, I get a little bummed. Don't get me wrong, I love the car but I am starting to think about all the memories in the old Volvo. Memories with Bella and her perfect fucking ass on the backseat…

I made a mental note to talk to my dad about the car tomorrow. No way in fuck I am giving this car back, but I think I might ask him if we could hold onto the other Volvo too. Whether or not Bella and I got back together, I think I will ask him if we can give it to Bella. Granted…we're not exactly buddy, buddy but if nothing else we can just leave it in the garage for now. Then next year when Bella graduates maybe she'll want it.

I know her father won't be able to afford a new car and maybe she will accept it so she can travel back and forth from school too. There is nothing wrong with the Volvo so her dad would probably go for it. Who knows…I just know I'm not ready to have those memories traded off yet. If she doesn't want it, we'll deal with it then I guess.

I arrive at La Push and it is fucking packed solid. There are cars everywhere and three times as many kids. I make my way to our usual spot and find my friends.

"Nice of you to show up, asshat," Emmett teases, "Now that we have the tents all set up and everything!"

"Sorry dude…I'm here now. What can I do?"

"Have a fucking beer with me?" he laughs. "How's the new car?"

"Oh fuck man…wait until you drive it. It's fucking awesome!"

We grab a couple beers and sit down at the fire. Apparently Jasper and Alice are already breaking in a tent so I steer clear of that shit. Rose is with some other girls from our class dancing like little warriors by the fire. I look around as casually as I can for Bella, but don't see her.

Finally I have to ask. "Where's Bella?"

Emmett gets kind of a funny look on his face. "Um…she's here somewhere."

"What?" I ask, because I could read him so well.

"Don't worry about Bella, Edward…We just fucking graduated man. Let's just get shit faced tonight, okay?"

"Emmett…where is she?"

He sighs heavily. "She's here…she's with…La Pusher motherfucker."

I keep my face as steady as stone. "Where's the fucking weed?"

An hour later I am high as a fucking kite and drunk off my ass. I understand why I am a mess this time…I have downed about eight beers and several shots in a really short amount of time. I have also probably smoked an entire joint by myself.

Fucked up would be an understatement.

I am feeling no pain…

That is until I see her.

Bella walks up to the fire with La Push motherfucker in tow. They aren't touching thank god, but they are laughing. Like really laughing…So much so that her voice sounds kind of hoarse.

I sit in my comfortable little seat in front of the fire and watch.

"Edward," Jasper warns, now out of the sex den in which I will be forced to sleep later. "Just relax."

Apparently it is obvious that I am staring, but I don't much care. This is my fucking graduation. Why the fuck would she flaunt that shit in front of me tonight?

"I'm fine," I respond but don't take my eyes off of Bella.

Bella sits down on a log by the fire and La Push motherfucker asks her if she'd like another drink.

"Um…yeah. Just a beer is fine."

She notices me staring at her and her eyes dart around uncomfortably before settling on Alice.

"Hey baby!" Alice says to her in a slur. "You want to dance with me?"

Bella giggles. "Maybe in a little while lush…let's just sit for a minute."

Alice sits down next to Bella with a huff, almost falling off the log onto her ass. She is running a close second to me tonight.

"My baby is leaving, Bella." She pouts.

"I know, sweetie…but at least you still have three months together right? And before you know it, we'll be right behind them."

"But it won't be the same…he'll have nine months to find someone new."

"I'm not going to find someone new, Alice," Jasper says with a slight irritation in his tone. I am guessing this conversation isn't the first time this shit is being brought up.

"You say that now Jazzy…but look at my Bella bear. If her man can…"

"Okaaaay….On that note," Jasper interrupts, "come on, Al…we're going to take a walk. Sober you up a little."

She gives Bella a hug and wobbles off clinging to Jasper's arm.

To say it is uncomfortable now would be another understatement.

Eventually Bella breaks the silence.

"So you did it, Edward. How does it feel?"

"It feels…lonely."

I shouldn't have said that but I am drunk and the word vomit is not under my control at the moment.

"I know," she responds and my eyes fly up to meet hers. I want to find out what she meant by that. Was she missing me too?

Just then La Push motherfucker shows up again.

"Here you go, Bells," he says as he hands her the cup.

And word vomit continues...

"Oh, isn't that sweet? You have fucking pet names for each other already…"

"Edward," Bella and Emmett both say at the same time.

"No…I mean, really. That's really fucking sweet. How fucking wonderful for you."

"Dude…relax," La Push motherfucker says to me and I am at my breaking point again.

"Don't tell me to fucking relax, alright 'dude'. Isn't there another part of the beach you could be on right now? You have to do this shit right in front of me? Better yet…there must be a cliff somewhere you can dive off of…"

"Edward!" Bella yells at me.

"Whatever." I wave my hands as I attempt to stand. Emmett grabs onto me to prevent me from face planting in the sand. "I'm going for a fucking walk."

"Want me to come with?" Emmett continues to steady me.

"No."

I pull myself together as best I can and make my way down the beach.

Fuck graduation. Fuck parties. Fuck all of this shit.

I find a nice little hill on the beach and sit my ass down. Right here is good. This is nice.

Oh! Look it there…a fucking crab or some shit popping in and out of a hole. "Hi little crab…"

What time is it anyway?

I sit and look out at the water for a while when I feel her.

"Go away, Bella...Seriously. I don't need your fucking pity."

"Edward," she says with a little chuckle, "Always starting our conversations by telling me to go away."

I snort.

"Yeah? I haven't told you to go away in years…but it's a fucking fantastic time to pick that habit back up again."

She sighs and sits down next to me.

"Oh, stop it," she says with a huff and wipes some sand off her legs.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"I want you to stop acting like an ass."

"Well, I want you to stop throwing your new fucking boyfriend in my face…so much for wanting, eh?"

"Edward…" she says with another sigh, "Jacob is not my boyfriend."

I laugh. "Yeah…okay, Bella."

"What? I'm serious."

"And so I don't know…that fact that you two were practically making out in your driveway last weekend or that he's every fucking where you are lately…what does that make him then?"

"It makes him my friend, Edward. And what do you mean making out in my driveway?"

"I saw you, Bella. We were going to the park to play football and I saw you…running out of your house, jumping into his arms."

"I'm not sure what you think you saw…but I was probably just hugging my friend. The same way I hug Emmett or Jasper or…I don't know, just anyone. You read something into nothing."

I sit and process that for a second.

"So what do you want? Why did you come over here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You're pretty drunk tonight, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm a high school fucking graduate…didn't you hear?"

"I think I might have heard something about that," she teases.

"What's really going on Edward?" she practically whispers.

I don't answer.

"Talk to me…please?"

"I can't talk to you anymore, Bella! Don't you understand that? As much as we try to say we want to be friends or whatever the fuck, it's different now…weird…and I just miss…"

I stop myself.

She waits for a moment and then asks. "You miss what?"

I take a labored breath. "Fuck Bella…you know what I miss. Why are we doing this shit? Just go back to the party, okay?"

"Edward, talk to me."

I huff. "Fine…what do I miss? Hmmm….I miss my fucking girlfriend. I miss my fucking best friend. I miss fucking everything. I miss it so much that most days I can't breathe. I miss you so much that it hurts to even see you most of the time. I miss the guy I used to be before I turned into this emo fucking loser. Is that what you want to hear?"

I look right at her, feeling fucking sober all of the sudden.

She plays with the lace on her shoe.

"I miss that too," she whispers.

"What?"

"I said…I miss that too."

"Then why aren't we together, Bella? Why are we making ourselves feel this way?"

"Because it's not that simple and you know that. I don't know how to trust you anymore."

"Then…then fucking let me earn it back. I mean…you've cut me almost completely out of your life and then keep saying that you want to be friends. I think you've said twenty words to me over the past two months."

"I can't stop seeing her on you, Edward…As much as I want you in my life. That is what I see."

"Then go, Bella…please? Because I obviously can't be just your friend. It hurts too much. I know I brought it on myself and believe me…I think about it every minute of every fucking day." I lie back in the sand and put my arm over my eyes. "Just please, baby…go."

It's quiet for a moment and I wonder if she's left. I lift my arm slightly and look over. She's still there….looking at me.

In the softest voice possible she responds, "Okay…I'll….go."

She moves slightly to stand but I reach out and grab her arm. I don't say anything, I just hold onto her wrist and she watches me.

I feel nothing but heat at the point where we are now connects and my whole being begs for more.

So suddenly that I wonder if I am dreaming or if I've finally fucking snapped, she leans over and presses her lips to mine.

I only know it isn't a dream because I can feel the electricity. I can feel the heat in her lips.

I don't move at all for about thirty seconds…and then I can't stop myself.

I pull her by her wrist down to me and her chest literally falls on mine. It's the closest I have been to her in so long. Even our little dance on prom night, our chests didn't really touch.

Our lips definitely didn't touch.

I take a chance and put my free hand on her face. Our lips are still connected, although completely still. I begin to stroke my fingers up and down her cheek. Then I decide if she's going to hit me or run, I might as well go for it.

I push my tongue out onto her lips. They don't move for a moment as I lightly caress them with my tongue, but then I hear her sigh and they part. Her tongue moves out to meet mine.

My heart is beating a thousand beats a minute now, like it has been awoken from the dead. Our tongues begin to mingle with each other in perfect precision. I release her wrist and snake my hand around her waist, pulling her closer. My other hand leaves her face and is now tangling in her hair.

I feel her hand un-fist on my chest and she lays it flat. The other hand that I previously held moves up and into my hair.

We are kissing now like our lives depend on it. I can feel it everywhere, seeping into every pore.

After a few minutes I push up and roll us over so Bella is in the sand and I am off to the side, but hovering over her. We continue our deep kisses and now her hands are rubbing my back through my shirt.

My head is swimming. I am trying so hard to wrap my head around the fact that she is actually here in my arms and kissing me back.

"Bella…" I pant as I pepper kisses down her neck. "I love you so much."

She doesn't respond, but she continues rubbing and her fingers find their way under the back of my shirt. I can feel them on my skin and it's like fire. I have missed this touch so much. Her lavender scent surrounds me.

I continue to kiss her neck and run one hand down her side until I reach the hem of her shirt. I snake my hand under and move it back up, reveling in the feel of her soft skin, her ribs, until I reach her bra. I ghost my hand over the fabric, unsure if I should apply pressure or venture underneath.

"It's okay," she says and arches her back slightly to meet my hand.

I have wanted this for so long that I don't even question. I don't want her to change her mind. I slide my fingers under the cup of her bra and feel her nipple pucker at the contact. I begin to massage and knead, pinching her nipple every so often. Our kissing is still frantic and our breathing filled with lust.

I can faintly hear the sounds of voices and I am brought back to reality slightly. We aren't that far from all of the others. Although we are concealed here for now, it's entirely possible that someone could wander over.

"Bella…there are people over there," I whisper. "Do you…do you want to go back to the tents, baby?" I ask, still unsure.

She continues kissing me. "Mmmhmmm."

You don't have to tell me twice.

I remove my hand from her shirt and stand, holding my hand out to her. All of the thoughts swirling around in my head are so conflicted. A part of me says to stop this, that we need to have some serious fucking conversations first, but another part of me wants to be with her so badly that I tell the opposing team to shut the fuck up.

We move around the perimeter of the trees, doing our best to avoid contact with anyone. I'm holding her hand as I lead. We make our way to the tent and slip inside.

I barely have it zipped and Bella is all over me.

I'm not complaining, but I'm having trouble processing everything. One minute I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I may never hold her again and now here we are all over each other. Finally I decide that whatever negative repercussions come in the morning, I will accept them. It can't be any worse then it has been for the past two months.

She lifts my shirt over my head and I fumble with hers while attempting to kiss her.

Finally we are down to her in her bra and panties and I am in my boxers. I grab one of the sleeping bags and unzip it completely so I can drape it over us. She lies down and pulls me with her. Our hands and mouths moving over each other in a frenzy.

I reach behind her and undo the bra clasp and she grabs the front, pulling it off completely. My boxers are next, followed by her underwear.

We are naked and I am positioned between her legs. Our kissing continues and my whole body shakes. It feels like the first time we were together, except more lust filled. We've been here before so the nerves over what comes next are not present. There is a whole new tension though, I can feel it coming from her as much as myself.

What does this mean? Will we regret this?

I can't imagine how I would, but I don't want to speak for her so I ask.

"Bella…baby, are you sure?"

She continues to kiss my chest as I hover, awaiting her answer. Through her kisses, she responds, "I want to be with you, Edward."

"Okay," is all I can manage to say as I allow myself to enter her body.

She locks her legs around my waist and digs her fingers into my back. My eyes roll because she feels so good. Her hips are lifting to meet mine as our bodies begin to slam into each other with such want.

While all the feelings are completely loving…the actions are definitely fucking. I'm afraid she will have bruises on her hips in the morning, because we are slamming together so urgently. I bend my head and pull her nipple into my mouth. She arches her back to me.

We go like this for a while. It feels so amazing.

I have to keep reminding myself to breathe. Is this happening?

At some point I move off of her and into a sitting position. She straddles my lap and I am deep inside of her like I was so many months ago in my car. She wraps her arms around my neck and her head falls to my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her waist and hug her to me as closely as I can. I start lifting my hips and she starts moving up and down on top of me.

I'm not going to last much longer, so I pull away from her slightly and put my hand between her breasts. I push her back lightly… She understands… and she places her hands back on my thighs, letting her head fall back.

The view right now is amazing. Bella straddling me, bent backwards and her tits are bouncing slightly. I place one hand on her hip to hold her in place and then take my other hand and run my fingers down her stomach, past her belly button and to her clit. I take two fingers and circle it quickly, watching her hips move with each pass.

"You are so beautiful, Bella," I whisper. "Come for me, baby girl."

It takes her only seconds and she is shooting into an upright position riding my cock as her orgasm hits.

"Oh God! Fuck me, Edward," she pants as she moves.

I remove my hand from her pussy and latch it to the other hip. I pull her up and down on me as forcefully as I dare. God, she feels so good.

I can feel her constricting and releasing me as her juices trickle down my thighs. My orgasm hits fast and I hold her to me, throbbing and cumming like I never have before.

When we both come down, Bella wraps her arms around my neck again and lays her head on my shoulder.

Eventually she lifts her head and looks in my eyes.

I am still inside of her.

We don't say anything, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she doesn't regret what just happened.

I don't either.

It might not have been the most ideal situation, but it was necessary. We had been holding back our need for one another for far too long.

"Edward?" I hear from outside the tent. It's Jazz.

I keep Bella to my chest and grab the sleeping bag, pulling it around our bodies.

"Yeah man. Give me a minute, okay?"

"Fuck…" he says with genuine surprise. "Do you have a girl in there, dude?"

"What!" I hear Alice say. "What do you mean? He has someone in there with him?"

"Alice, stop," he warns her.

It's quiet for a second. I don't know how she wants me to respond.

"I'm in here, Alice," Bella says and rolls her eyes at me.

"Holy shit!" our very drunk friends giggle in unison.

"Um…" is Jaspers next brilliant statement.

"Just go to the other tent," I say, looking at Bella to make sure that's okay. She nods and puts her head back on my shoulder.

"Yeah…sure, man," Jasper says through an obvious laugh. "Uhhh…goodnight you guys."

I hear the zipper on the other tent. I hear low whispers and a few giggles out of Alice. Then silence…in both tents.

I lean back and she lifts her head. We still don't say anything, but our lips touch in a very brief kiss. It occurs to me again that I am in fact still inside of her. I give her a small hug and she lifts off me. She lays back on the floor of the tent and takes my hand to pull me down next to her. I comply and pull the sleeping bag over us.

I roll onto my back and Bella nuzzles into my side, with my arm underneath her neck and places her hand across my stomach.

We lay there in silence for a few more minutes, before I hear the faint sounds of her snoring.

Baby girl has fallen asleep.

I kiss the top of her head and allow my eyes to close. I drift off into the best sleep I have had in such a long time.

I wake the next morning and immediately feel her absence.

I sit up quickly and look around the tent to see if maybe she has rolled to the corner in her sleep or something.

She's not there.

Her clothes are gone and…I'm alone.

I dress quickly and exit the tent.

I realize fairly quickly that I must have slept late. Everyone else is sitting by the water or moving about the camp. Some more sluggish then others.

I see Rose and Alice over by the coolers, fishing through the ice.

"Hey," I say as I approach.

Both girls look at me with huge smiles.

"Well, well. Good morning, Edward. Sleep well?"

I smirk but say nothing more about that.

"Where's Bella?"

They both look at me, confused now.

"What do you mean, where's Bella? Isn't she with you?" Alice asks.

"She was…but when I woke up, she was gone."

They both look around the campsite, off towards the beach.

No Bella.

I walk with Rosalie up the hill to where Bella's truck was parked last night. It's not there now.

"I'll call her," Rose says, pulling out her phone.

I watch her dial and she places the phone to her ear. After a few seconds, she speaks.

"Bella? Where the hell are you?"

I see her move her head up and down a few times, responding to whatever Bella is saying on the other end of the phone. Eventually she looks at me and then she walks away, whispering into the receiver.

I watch her as she paces back and forth near some cars, lifting her free hand every once in a while animating their conversation.

Finally she removes the phone from her ear and presses a button.

I am panicking now. What the fuck happened? Was I reading her wrong? Did she wake up this morning and regret what happened?

"Edward," she says as she makes her way back over to me with sad eyes.

"What? What did she say?"

She takes a deep breath.

"Well….first she wanted me to tell you she doesn't regret what happened. She said to tell you that and…"

"Why isn't she here, Rose? Why isn't she telling me this shit herself?" I ask with tension in my voice.

"She's feeling…well, she's feeling a little confused this morning. Kind of panicking a little, I guess. It's understandable…come on, you have to admit that? Here's the insane part though…She said she's driving to Phoenix to visit her mom. Clear her head."

I am walking in circles now, my hands pulling at my hair. "And she couldn't say anything to me first?"

"Edward, relax. Remember what I said? She doesn't regret it…She loves you. Breathe, alright?"

I head back down to the campsite. My friends are looking at us anxiously and I see Rose shake her head.

I find my backpack and pull out my phone, sling the pack over my arm and start walking to my car.

I dial as quickly as I can.

Her phone goes directly to voicemail.

I keep redialing the entire way to her house.

When I get there her truck is gone.

I jump out and bang on the door.

Nothing.

I look back to the driveway and Charlie's cruiser is gone too.

I'm sick to my stomach but I sit down on her step and continue to redial.

I foolishly thought we were on our way back to each other…where we were supposed to be all along.

Between one of my frantic dials, my phone beeps.

I have a message.

I open the text immediately.

Edward – Everything is ok. U r panicking – I know you, but don't. I'll be back soon. Bella

Is she fucking serious?

I want to respond to her text but I am completely stunned. I don't even know how to process this.

I climb in my car and head home.

I am definitely not fucking peaceful today…

A/N: Okay…before you attack, I have a plan! Chapter 11 is still Edward, but Chapter 12 is BPOV and will explain what happened here. Thank you to everyone who is reading, reviewing and rec'ing and to my amazing beta and pre-reader!

Secondly, I was informed this week that I was nominated for the Sparkleteer Rare Gem Awards. To say it left me speechless is an understatement. I was just thrilled when people started reading my first little story, so the fact that someone actually took the time to nominate me for this was more than I ever hoped for. I am in three categories. If you feel like voting, please head over to

www . thesparkleteerawards . blogspot . com

Lastly, if you haven't had a chance to donate to Fandom for Preemies yet, please try to do so. It really is a great cause and you get the bonus of a lot of author o/s and outtakes!

Reviews get you a teaser of Chapter 11 and guess what? I think Tanya's baaaack!

See you next week! Or come play with me on twitter – justagirl1237