Title: Best Day Of My Life (10/23) So no one knew where the sorting from last chapter came from? Shame on you. It was Recoil.
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that might strike you as familiar.
Summary: That it had all started that one day, that was plain to see. But love has never been simple, and with her it certainly wouldn't get any easier. (CaRWash)
Chapter summary: He didn't think he was gonna make it through another day like this.
Spoilers: None.
Song: Jesse McCartney - Tell Her
A/N: My newest multichap, inspired entirely on Jesse McCartney's both current (3rd one's coming up) albums.
Yes, she's back indeed. She just hasn't been writing lately but she got back into things now.
She presents you: chapter 10!
I can't believe her hold on me
It's something indescribable
I know she knows, but won't you please
If you see my girl
Just tell her I miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a little while
I know when she
Holds on to me
She's the one thing that I could never live without
Oh, oh, oh, oh
And tell her I love her
He was a mess. While he told himself, kept telling himself that he'd be fine, that he could make it through this, it was having a bigger and bigger impact on him as time went by. And what he was most afraid of had happened: it had affected his job. He was unable to put two and two together when she was in the room, did an outstanding job when he got assigned on a case with Natalia, but missed vital pieces of evidence when Calleigh was processing across the room.
He rationalized himself with Horatio by saying, by lying, that his niece was sick, saved his ass with Eric by saying, by lying, "They're still running tests", when he asked what was wrong with her. Pulled his rank when Natalia suggested him to take a break and get off a case, but couldn't do anything when Stetler pulled his rank and invited him over to talk about how grateful he should be that he got his job back -which, he was kindly reminded, was totally against Stetler's wishes-, and to not screw it up again, unless he wanted to become a full time bodyguard.
And all this time, no word from Calleigh. Normally she'd have been on his doorstep when the first whisper of 'something's up' was heard, now she hadn't showed up despite the scream of 'everything's hell'.
"I don't want to lose my job."
"Oh baby boy, you need to stop being so into her."
"Yeah, no problem, I'll just put all my feelings on hold while I'm at it, no biggie."
His sarcastic voice echoed through the morgue as he sat on the silver autopsy table, with Alexx nearby signing a file, but being all ears.
"Keep that tone sweetheart, and you'll be getting places."
"Sorry Alexx." Ryan mumbled shamefully.
"You're forgiven. I'll blame it on your mixed up feelings."
"I just, man, I thought it was awkward to work with her while being smitten with her, it's even more awkward to work with her…"
"While still being smitten with her?" Alexx finished his sentence for him and looked up.
"Well…yeah, but it's a different kind of smitten. Apparently there's more than one way of being head over heels."
Alexx let out a laugh as Ryan lowered his face down into his hands. He looked like he had gone through everything a man could go through, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, and his shoulders alone.
"Oh baby, you've still got so much to learn. There's a thousand ways of being head over heels, the trick is to find that one way that works for you."
"Wow, I hadn't thought of that. Geez, that's so simple."
"Enough with the attitude already."
Ryan lifted his head from his hands. "Ignore the jerk that's speaking in my place. He's just frustrated and afraid he's going to lose his job."
"Tell him that acting like this is gonna cause him to lose a friend or two."
"Message has arrived and is duly noted."
He hopped off the table and walked over to where Alexx was sitting, leaning against her desk.
"Is there a way to get over this?"
"You getting over your love for Calleigh? Not in a million years. There is, however, a way to find the way of being head over heels that works for you."
"How do I do that?"
"Well, unfortunately, that's entirely up to you. I can't tell you how to do that, no one can. You just try, and eventually, you just do."
"Great. You're a doctor; can't you just prescribe me something I can overdose on?"
"And scare her into loving you, yes, that's an excellent idea."
What Ryan didn't tell her, was that it had worked on him, too. After all, despite the fact that he had loved her for a long time, he'd never really acted on it until he realized she was mortal as well, and could've died that day.
"Yeah, that wouldn't work. But then what do I have to do, Alexx? Stetler is threatening to fire me and all I can think to do something about it is not work with Calleigh."
"Well then, keep the honor to yourself and quit your job. Solves some problems."
"Except for the fact that I don't want to quit my job."
"Then you'll have to live with working with Calleigh."
Ryan sighed, knowing perfectly that this conversation with Alexx was going nowhere. He didn't blame her though, because there was nowhere to go.
"Yeah, thanks for the advice, Alexx. I think my life just got a whole lot easier."
"You know, Ryan, if you really want me to tell you something that you can work on, it's the only logical thing: talk to her. Honesty is the only thing that can help you, sweetheart."
"But she knows…"
"Yes, yes, she knows, you've been clear, but have you ever told her?"
"I…I wanted to, but she wouldn't let me."
Alexx dropped her face into her hand.
"Oh, God, typical Calleigh. Too afraid to let someone even reach for her. Listen to me Ryan, you have to tell her. Make her listen to you, look her straight in the eye, and tell her. Make sure she can't shrug it off. If she doesn't feel the same, that's a real shame, but you'll have tried. If she does feel the same, this will be the only way to make her confess that."
Ryan sighed and made a face.
"I guess that's my only chance then."
"It'll be worth it."
"Yeah it well be. Even if I end up getting transferred."
"Why would that be worth it?"
"At least I wouldn't be faced with my failure every day. On the other hand, maybe I actually will…oh never mind."
Alexx chuckled and placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder. You could say that she was having a 'my baby's growing up' moment.
"Don't worry about it baby. Just do what comes natural to you."
"…I probably shouldn't mention that what I was doing now is what comes natural to me."
"Indeed you shouldn't. Now get out of here, I've got work to do and I'm sure there's a case somewhere that needs your attention."
"If I can find my attention, that is." Ryan muttered before leaving the morgue.
He sighed once more, thinking about how life was difficult, how his love life was even more complicated, and how he was ever going to confess his true feelings to Calleigh if she wasn't even allowing him to come near her anymore. If anything, she was making his life ánd his love life complicated.
"I love you. I love you. I love you." He mumbled under his breath.
"Well, you know I love you too Ryan, but I'd prefer to keep it under the radar for now."
The voice shook Ryan out of his ponderings and he saw Valera walking next to him.
"Maxine! I, no, I'm sorry, I didn't…"
"Shut it, loverboy. Whomever you were talking to, I don't even wanna know. Can I just pull you out of it long enough to hear me out?"
"Yes, Valera, go ahead."
"Good."
She turned to stop dead in her tracks in front of him, and he had to use his reflexes really fast to not crash into her.
"We, as in, the team, as in Delko, Natalia and I, decided we want to go out and get a drink to celebrate that we closed that ridiculous case of the other day. I was just on my way to ask Alexx to join us, but since I'm seeing you here…"
"Uhh, thanks Max, but uh…"
"Oh come on, Ryan!"
"I'm sorry. I just have other plans."
"Alright. It's your loss."
"I'll take a rain check, I promise."
"Fine, fine. See ya later. Hey, Cal!"
Ryan shook his head as Valera took off towards Calleigh, who just turned into the hallway, probably coming from the ballistics' lab. She looked up and her face seemed slightly shocked at Valera's approach.
"Just the one I needed Cal; wanna join us for a drink tonight?"
"I…"
Calleigh looked over Valera's shoulder and saw Ryan standing down the hall. Her mind making overtime, she figured that Valera had probably just asked him, and she really didn't feel like being around him for the time being.
"I'm sorry Maxine, I…"
"Have other plans, yeah, yeah." Valera rolled her eyes.
"I just really need some rest. It'll be a…"
"Rain check. God, you two are such spoilsports."
Valera walked off with a slightly less chipped face, and Calleigh blinked as she looked at Ryan. He smiled at her and rolled his eyes, and she understood that he had declined Valera's invitation as well. She shrugged and turned around, not intending on letting him notice that a bright smile was now plastered on her face.
A/N: CSI:Miami sucks, but the old Ryan still brings a smile to my face. I reflected that onto Calleigh. I promise the next chapter will be up MUCH sooner. Even sooner if you review?