Summary: A human who's grown a hatred for anti-fairies comes to spellementary school.
A young girl enters a dark and foreboding log cabin in the middle of the woods. A man sits in the shadows sharpening some sort of metal.
"Go away!" The man sneers.
"Hello sir, I am Tanis Turner and I have-" The girl started.
"I said go away. You have the wrong guy, trust me." The man interrupted.
"Aren't you Ludwig Gage, infamous crazy person?" Tanis asked. The man stopped his sharpening. "I'll take that as a yes. I come from Ye Old Dimmesdale and I've come to understand that you believe in magical creatures. My life has been ruined by them. I was kidnapped as a baby, allegedly by an invisible evil wind like substance that can make things appear out of thin air with a glimmer of blue light. Stories like that got my father and the Turner named shunned. After being trapped for a decade, I returned telling stories of a rebuilding castle, dragons, and a boy that can appear and disappear if you close your eyes. My own tribe found me a disgrace. I need your help to seek revenge on the magic wind and the red eyed magical boy with a small nose."
The man smiled from the shadows. "I think you're dealing with the negmagwajes," he said.
"The what?"
"They're like magwajes, but the exact opposite. My mom was secretly a magwaje, that's why she called my a crazy crock-a-doodle, because I was onto her and her secrets."
"Okay," Tanis said, sort of weirded out. "Well, the sooner I can get my revenge, the better soooo…"
The man shoved a huge pile of papers into Tanis's hands and quickly went back to the shadows.
"What's this?" She asked.
"Ashes, ashes, we all catch Fairies!" the man screeched.
"What's a fairy?"
"The research will tell, or so I'm told. Ever since the cure, the voices have just not stopped talking. But the rainbow, you need to taste it!"
"I-i'll keep that in mind," Tanis mumbled and quickly left. She could hear the man's crazy laughter as she walked away. 'What a maniac,' she thought, then looked at the pages upon pages she was given. 'At least it's a start, I guess.' She looked up at the sky and saw a rainbow. 'Strange, it's not even wet season. Didn't Gage tell me to taste the rainbow?...'
~~~0~~~
"Hey, you know how the fairies finished their rainbow bridge 30 rotations, or days as they want us to say now, earlier than expected?" Anti-Cosmo asked Anti-Wanda.
"Nope," Anti-Wanda replied.
"Good point," Anti-Cosmo said then poofed a few feet over to Ms. Magister's side. "Hey, you know how the fairies finished their rainbow bridge 30 days earlier than expected?" he asked his teacher.
"Yeah. Why do you care? Why should I care?" She asked.
"Well, now Anti-Binky is jealous and is making an anti-bridge to earth. And I'm the reason the bridge was made so fast because I made Cupid furious and he demanded for the Mid Hole to close, forcing production on the bridge to go faster. Technically, I'm cause the anti-bridge to be built so I'm basically ruler of Anti-Fairy World already!" Anti-Cosmo said happily.
"Great logic ya got there. Why is everybody not bowing to you yet?" Ms. Magister said super sarcastically.
"Don't doubt my overthrowing skills. I will eventually take over Anti-Fairy World, I have all of eternity to try."
"I can judge you're 'overthrowing skills' as much as I want. You have a world leader, god, and anti-god who all hate you and your not even two yet. It doesn't seem like you're any closer to becoming a ruler."
Anti-Cosmo poofed back over to Anti-Wanda. "So did she know about the bridge thingy?" Anti-Wanda asked.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay. Wanna play instead?"
"Sure," Anti-Cosmo said and the two of them grabbed stuff of of the shelves.
~~00~~
Tannis stopped at the base of a rainbow. She had a belt covered in weird contraptions on. She tried to touch on the rainbow, but her hand just phased through, then she put her foot, which was wearing a brightly colored complicated looking shoe, on it and it stayed. Tannis smiled. "I knew he wasn't that crazy," Tannis said to herself, then ran up the rainbow.
At the top was Schnozmo and Cosmo staring down at Earth. "It's so pretty!" Cosmo exclaimed as he stared at the newly finished rainbow bridge.
"Do you remember our plan to find father?" Schnozmo asked.
"Nope. Wait, it involved french fries right?"
"Not even close, but I could still work with that."
"Okay. Who's that? Is that the plan? Does she have french fries?" Cosmo asked his big brother. He watched as a human climbed the steep rainbow bridge, and surprisingly succeeding.
"Um, no to all of those questions, I guess. You know you can poof up french fries yourself, right?" Schnozmo asked.
"Oh yeah," Cosmo said happily. He raised his yellow starred wand and poofed fire onto himself and his brother. "Schnozmo, these fries are spicy," Cosmo said, seemingly unfazed by being on fire.
"Yep. Could you try to make lava for me?" Schnozmo asked. He was also mostly unfazed by the fire too.
"What's lava?"
"Fire juice."
"Okay!" Cosmo happily said. He raised his wand and poofed water over the two of them. They were dripping wet and their green hair was covered in the fire's ashes, making it seem black. "Awe, that wasn't fire juice."
"Indeed it wasn't," Schnozmo said, smiling slightly at his masterful reverse psychology.
The brothers were too preoccupied with the fire that they didn't notice the girl reach the top of the rainbow. She was staring at Schnozmo as she caught her breath. Because of the now black hair, in her mind it clicked almost immediately who he was. "Hey, you're a big nosed, green eyed, incredibly short, and somehow flying version of the kid who abandoned me. Are you the magwaje to his negmagwaje?" She asked.
Schnozmo raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "The name's Schnozmo, by the way. And what the hell is a magwaje?"
"Is it french fries?" Cosmo asked. He knocked the ash off his hair, making it green again.
"I think another word for it is fairy. The stuff Ludwig wrote was really quite confusing," Tannis said.
Schnozmo straightened his head and smiled. "Oh, I know all about fairies! I know all about anti-fairies too. Not so much pixie's though, but from what I hear nobody cares about pixies, so I still have no regrets for skipping out on school."
"I don't know what a regret is, but I didn't go to school too because I'm deemed a level three hazzard. I don't know what that means either," Cosmo added.
Tannis stared at them in confusion for a second, but then got over it. "Okay, so you must be the opposite of the person who abandoned me. Take me to your opposite now, or I'll do something that you won't like."
"Uh-hu. And what's in it for me?" Schnozmo asked.
"I just told you, you idiot."
"I'll do it if you bring me a wand. Like a real wand that's not fundamentally broken like this one," Schnozmo said as he pointed to Cosmo's wand, "But identical to this one."
"Okay, whatever, I'll do that. Now send me to your opposite," Tannis said.
"Gotcha, mate. Cosmo poof this human to infront of me."
"Okey-dokey!" Cosmo happily said. He raised his wand and poofed her away.
~~00~~
"This will show how much you truly know about Magic Theory," a teacher said energetically as she passes out tests. This teacher was an average fairy with short blonde hair and blue eyes. "And remember, no cheating," She added and then glanced at Anti-Schnozmo. "And no letting people cheat off of you."
"Gniaehc ni egludni ot srehto wolla reven dluow I," Anti-Schnozmo said. He tried to smile innocently, but it came off more nervous than anything.
The teacher looked at him disappointedly then floated away to pass out the rest of the tests.
"I don't think you should lie anymore, you're not good at it," Anti-Blonda whispered to Anti-Schnozmo. She was in the desk next to him.
"Yeah, I know. I can lie if I don't know I'm lying, though, so that's something," Anti-Schnozmo whispered back.
"Sure it is," Anti-Blonda mumbled.
Suddenly a pink cloud saying piof, instead of poof, appeared in front of the two anti-fairies, and Tannis was there once it dissipated.
"What? You? How?" Anti-Schnozmo asked her in bewilderment.
"You!" Tannis hissed and glared at the anti-teen.
"Oh, yeah, you would hate me," he mumbled and poofed away.
"A human!" Anti-Blonda exclaimed and poofed herself away.
The remaining students stared at the human in wonder. "Excuse me, but how did you get here? You look a little too old to have a fairy god parent," the teacher said.
"Where did the annoying voiced one go? I need him," Tannis replied.
Next to her a young, bright eyed gnome touched something on her belt. The contraption expanded and exploded, spewing flakes of a gray substance.
"Don't touch my things!" Tannis scolded and took a step back from the child.
The teacher picked up some flakes and stared at it. "Iron…" She mumbled, then looked at the human next to her. "You shouldn't be bringing iron to this school, young lady. I'm going to have to send you back to your planet."
"No, I need that negmagwaje!" Tannins exclaimed. She grabbed another device off of her belt and threw it at the fairy hand holding the wand. In another exposing of iron flakes, the bright yellow wand got dropped to the floor. The students watched silently as Tannins grabbed the wand off the floor and ran out of the class.
A black haired, purple eyed teenage fairy with fairly large muscles flouted out of his seat. "Don't fret, my fairy educator! I will retrieve your wand for you!" he declared with a Spanish accent.
"Juandissimo, sit back down. I think this is serious. Iron could do serious damage to anti-fairies," the teacher said as she floated over and pressed a button under her desk.
Vice principal Meyer poofed next to the teacher. "Mrs. Ashcraft, both Principal Benes and I are very busy right now, can it wait?" Meyer asked.
"No, it can't. There's an older looking human on the premises that is carrying iron and has stolen a fairy wand," the teacher explained.
"Oh my goodness, that's terrible! We'll get on it right away," Meyer said and poofed hastily away.
~~~~000~~~~
"There must be a way to use this magwaje stick of magic to find that negmagwaje," Tannis said to herself. "Maybe if I just think about what I want…" She closed her eyes and lifted the wand, making it glow a bright yellow. When her eyes reopened, she was standing in front of a door that said 'room 720' with 'special needs' being said underneath. Tannis shrugged. 'I guess this is where,' she thought.
~~~000~~~~
~~~a little earlier~~~
"Look what I made Anti-Wanda!" Anti-Cosmo said as he raised a weird contraption made from broken children toys.
Anti-Wanda tilted her head in confusion. "What's that?"
"It, if my calculations are correct, will attract all anti-wands to me. If my calculations are wrong it will blow up and destroy the whole school. A fifty fifty chance, but either way is ideal, so let's try it!"
Anti-Wanda smiled. "Yeah! I wanna see an explosion!"
Anti-Cosmo flipped a switch-like thing. The device glowed yellow. "I was expecting a blue glow, so prepare for an explosion."
"I've made all the toys explosion proof since saint patrick's day," Ms. Magister said uncaringly.
"What did I do on saint Patrick's day?"
"What didn't you do is the real question, but I'm not going to answer to either."
"Why? Nevermind, I don't care." Anti-Cosmo looked at Anti-Wanda. "What do you think this does then if not explode?"
Anti-Wanda shrugged. "Make ice cream? But not chocolate ice cream because that's not delicious."
"Good quess, let's see," Anti-Cosmo said. The two anti-fairies stare intently at the device. A few seconds later Maria walks up to them holding Ms. Magister's wand.
"Does Anti-Cosmo device attract fairy wand?" She asked. The young elf dropped the wand and it moved slowly to the device like wek magnets would.
"Aw, that's the opposite of what I wanted," Anti-Cosmo complained.
Suddenly, Anti-Schnozmo poofed into the room next to his brother. "If anybody asks I'm dead. You pick how," the anti-teen said quickly then promptly poofed back out.
Anti-Blonda poofed into the room nearly directly after that. "Anti-Wanda no time to explain we need to leave!" she said also very quickly and poofed away with her sister.
"Hey! She can't just poof away a student and/or staff member from school during school hours without direct consent before hand, therefore it's against the rules. Poof Anti-Wanda back, you're contractually obligated to do so," Anti-Cosmo demanded Ms. Magister as he threw her wand at her.
"Did you seriously read the rules enough to come across that. Well, I guess listen to the rules since your illiterate," Ms. Magister said.
"Can you just poof her back?"
Ms. Magister smiled. "I don't know, can I?"
Anti-Cosmo glared at his teacher. "I hate you," he growled.
Ms. Magister made her wand glow in her hand. "The feeling's mutual."
The Anti-Fairywinkle twins reappeared back in the class with a pink poof cloud. "No, no, no, no, no!" Anti-Blonda mumbled. She raised her hand as if there was a wand in it, even though there wasn't. Anti-Wanda's magic rattle wasn't with them either. "What happened to my wand? I need it!" She exclaimed once she noticed.
"You're not going to take away Anti-Wanda from this riveting learning environment; it's against the rules," Anti-Cosmo told her.
"You're such an idiot!" she hissed at Anti-Cosmo. "I'm saving my sister from a tall, gross, probably dangerous-" Anti-Blonda got cut off by the door to the room opening. "Human," she finished.
Anti-Wanda smiled. "A real live human! I've never seen one before!" She said and tried to fly to the human. Anti-Blonda stopped her before she got far at all.
"Yes you have," Anti-Cosmo said to Anti-Wanda, "remember when we when to Earth?"
"Oh yeah! The marshmallow human thing. I liked him."
"I didn't."
Completely ignoring the anti-fairies, Blaine and Dillan were staring at the human. "How could a human get into the school? Humans can't walk on clouds," Blaine asked
'Can we play with the human?' Dillan signed.
"A human that old shouldn't be able to get to the middle lands at all," Ms. Magister said. She took her wand back from Maria. "And shouldn't have a fairy's wand either."
"I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to find one specific negmagwaje," Tannis said.
"What's a negma-jiggy?" Anti-Wanda asked.
"Don't talk to the human," Anti-Blonda whispered to her sister. They were in the corner of the room farthest from the door together. Anti-Cosmo also went to the corner with them just 'cause.
"Are there negmagwajes here? Is one of them the red eyed scrawny one that left me to die in a castle after stealing my hair, because I only want him," Tannis said.
Anti-Blonda then realized who the human probably was. She looked at Anti-Cosmo. "So this human is you and your terrible brother's fault."
"I wouldn't put it past us, we're both idiots. Well, I should say that Anti-Schnozmo was an idiot." Anti-Cosmo got fake tears in his eyes as he put the back of his hand dramatically to his head. "Alas, this world, nor any other, shall ever contain his stupidity again, for he has passed on. Nobody ever thought that an anti-fairy could die from being so pathetic that he implodes, but my dear brother showed it was possible. He will be missed."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Anti-Blonda asked.
"Anti-Schnozmo dyed. It was so sad."
"That is sad," Anti-Wanda said. She couldn't tell that Anti-Cosmo was lying. Then the silver and gold crests on the student's uniforms and Ms. Magister's wands started pulsing light. The wand in Tannis's hand turned brown and flopped over. She dropped it, not knowing what was going on.
'Emergency evacuation in 5… 4...' the glowing objects started counting down in a robotic pixie-like voice.
"No," Tannis mumbled. She took off her belt and made one of the device's dispense a thinly stringed net, turning the belt into the top of a butterfly net.
'3… 2…'
Tannis threw the net in the general direction she thought the anti-fairies were in. The net ricocheted off the wall and it actually went around all three of the antti-children.
"A net?" Anti-Blonda questioned quietly.
'1..' the badges and wand continued. A second later all the magical creatures that weren't in the net disappeared in a glow of light.
"Where'd they go?" Anti-Wanda asked Anti-Blonda. She didn't respond
"Why do I feel like I've been trapped in a net before?" Anti-Cosmo asked nobody.
"W-what have you done t-to us?" Anti-Blonda asked while stuttering with fear.
"Well, you're invisible like the negmagwaje that I'm looking for, so I activated the 'super duper net thing' since it can catch anything that flies.
"I can fly," Anti-Wanda said happily.
"That is the worst name I've ever heard for a device in my life," Anti-Cosmo said.
"I didn't name it, the Gage did."
"Infamous magic-truther Ludwig "Crocker" Gage? I listened to book about him. " Anti-Cosmo said.
"His middle name is Crocker?" Tanis asked.
"No, that was his nick name throughout school because he was crazy. By the way, negmagwaje's are actually called anti-fairies," Anti-Cosmo said.
"Oh, thanks, that's what I thought," Tannis said.
"Don't help the human," Anti-Blonda whispered to him as she tried to find a way out. Lifting it didn't work, so now she's trying the devices on the side of the belt. One opened to show hundreds of little flakes of iron.
"What's that?" Anti-Wanda asked as she look into the device.
"Something that you'll never touch in your life," Anti-Blonda said and dragged her sister to the other side of the net.
"Is it iron?" Anti-Cosmo asked as he flew to it. He stuck his hand in to it then took it out. "It is iron. Cool."
"Can I stick my hand in it?" Anti-Wanda asked.
"Never. And never do anything Anti-Cosmo ever does, he's a freak of nature," Anti-Blonda said and covered her sister's eyes with her hands.
"That's gotta be the nicest thing you've ever called me. I feel so honored," Anti-Cosmo said sarcastically. Anti-Wanda took Anti-Blonda's hands off of her.
Tannis was standing in front of the net, trying to guess where the three were and what they were doing, but she decided that it didn't really matter. "Listen, I just wanna find one anti-fairy that I'm pretty sure is named Anti-Schnozmo. I'll let you go if you tell me, but if not I'll throw this iron on you."
Anti-Cosmo scoffed. "Like that's a threat," he said, "Sure iron hurts for a while, but after a few months in the iron sandbox it really loses it's punch. We're all old enough to practically have full immunity."
"What's immunity? Also, can I have an iron sandbox?" Anti-Wanda asked. Anti-Blonda shushed her instead of answering.
"In addition, freedom from this net is absurd since I could easily escape. I need something better if you want me to work with you, especially if you want me to give up my source of not terrible magic. I'll do it for the anti-wand of an adult anti-fairy, and nothing less," Anti-Cosmo said.
"No," Tannis said, "I can't get an anti-wand, whatever that is, and you can't get out without the help of a mortal. Just tell me were the anti-fairy is."
"No thanks, I have another plan," Anti-Cosmo said and smiled mischievously. "You see, earlier I was being questioned on my overthrowing skills. To prove to my terrible teacher that I can, and will, overthrow Anti-Binky, first I'll overthrow you."
"Yeah right. I've read the notes, you can't escape a net like this."
Anti-Cosmo's smile widened. "The notes written by a crazy person. I know you had no experience with us beforehand since you got outbested by my wuss of a sibling so let me spell this out for you. Iron has a great amount of friction with anti-fairy skin." Anti-Cosmo puts his hand back into the box of iron flakes. Anti-Blonda puts her hands over Anti-Wanda's eyes again. "This friction would cause a burning sensation at first, like what it would feel like if a human were on fire. That is only if you're not used to it though. Next," Flames erupted from Anti-Cosmo's hand in the iron filled box. Tannis took a step back from the heat. "Comes the actual fire. Fire doesn't hurt fairies or anti-fairies, it's just the friction's intensity increasing. However, rope turns into easily escapable dust when heated by fire." As he said that, the entire net caught of fire. Since it was so thin, the fire burned the whole thing in a matter of seconds. Anti-Cosmo took his hand out of the iron. "And since you can't see us, you have no idea where we actually are. Especially if I stop talking, so you're lucky that I'm a sucker for explaining."
Tannis knows how powerful anti-fairies are, so she started walking backwards to the door. "Furthermore," Anti-Cosmo continued, "humans can't walk on clouds. Now, as a human yourself, you probably knew that. As an apprentice of Gage though, you would have an invention to walk on clouds."
The teenaged human made it to the door and tried to open it, but Anti-Cosmo grabbed her and started dragging her to the middle of the room. "No, please don't," Tannis pleaded as she was being dragged.
"Shush, don't interrupt my monologue. It's not a doulogue for a reason. Anyway, Gage wouldn't waste valuable resources for mostly useless parts, meaning only the part contacting the cloud can be on a cloud. Thusly," He said then poofed him and Tannis the extent of where his magic reached, which was on the pink cloud ground just next to the outside of the classroom. "Just like a pathetic turtle on its back can't get up, a horrible human hanging under the clouds can't get up. All it would take is…" Anti-Cosmo paused for dramatic effect.
"Please, please, I beg of you, don't do it. I'll leave if you just let me go, I don't care about the anti-fairy anymore," Tannis said.
"... one push. Or pull in my case." Anti-Cosmo finished. He tugged on the human's arms then flew out of the way. She lost balance from the sudden pull and started falling forward. To catch herself she instinctively holds out her hands, but they just phase through the cloud. Her shoes, even though they're upside down, till cling to the cloud, causing Tannis to hang waverly thousands of miles above Earth.
"Yes, Anti-Binky will undoubtedly be a harder threat to deal with compared to you, but this was too easy, so Anti-Fairy World is as good as mine," Anti-Cosmo said triumphantly. "Now, I guess I'll let the school handel you. I don't care about your fate in the slightest. So long." With that, Anti-Cosmo poofed back into the school.
Once inside again Anti-Cosmo looks at Anti-Blonda, who was still in the corner shielding her sister's eyes. "The oh so dredded human is taken care of. Not so bad for a freak of nature, was it."
Anti-Wanda escaped from her sister's grasp. "That was great! I loved the fire and all the big words you used. I don't know what they mean, but they sounded soooo cool!"
Anti-Cosmo smiled. "Glad you liked it. We should go report it to the idiots who run this school, show them I'm a force to be reckoned with."
"Okay," Anti-Wanda said. She didn't exactly know what that meant, but she was fine going anywhere that Anti-Cosmo wanted to go. They poofed away together, leaving Anti-Blonda alone in room 720 to think about what just happened.
'Iron immunity?' she thought. 'What the heck is wrong with the Anti-Cosma's? He never even took the human seriously, either. How could he have defeated her so easily and confidently? Why of all people did Anti-Wanda have to choose him to be friends with?'
Eventually, Anti-Blonda's very questiony thought got interrupted when she got poofed back to her house because of school protocall.
~~~00~~~
Anti-Cosmo poofed into Anti-Schnozmo's room and looked under the bed. "While you were dead I practically overthrew the whole human race," Anti-Cosmo gloated with a big smile on his face.
Anti-Schnozmo crawled out from under the bed. "What happened to your hand? Is that iron burns? Did Mother get nostalgic or something?" he asked, knowing Anti-Cosmo didn't really overthrow the whole human race.
"It was an escape tatic. Speaking of which, everyone has an iron sandbox right?"
"No. And to most anti-fairies, iron feels worse than anything else in the universe," Anti-Schnozmo said.
"Oh shoot, so Anti-Wanda was in danger of getting hurt. I probably shouldn't have been so cocky. Well, anyway, the human has been taken care of and her memory has been wiped. Maybe you could get me her magic-truther audio book once it comes out."
"Okay. By the way, I'm-"
"Don't care," Anti-Cosmo said, cutting off his brother. He poofed away before he could finnish.
"Fine, don't hear my apology. See if I care," he mumbled to himself. He poofed away too, to go to the anti-audiobook store.
A/N: Sorry this took so long. I didn't want it to come out to close to the recent event in Florida. It wasn't based on that at all, it was just a coincidence. Also, I hoped you liked it. Review your thoughts. I took a page out of Jet Engines book (I hope you don't mind) and made iron a weakness of anti-fairies. Anyway, till next time.