'Serena!' Blair practically sang down the phone.

Serena smiled at her friend's enthusiasm. 'Wow you're happy today, somebody get some action last night?' She laughed.

'Of course.' Scoffed Blair, 'You forget who you're talking to.'

'The girlfriend of Chuck Bass? Well I suppose in that case a lot of sex is pretty much a requirement. Imagine, my friend, Blair Waldorf- sex addict.' Serena laughed.

'I am not a sex addict!' Blair protested.

Chuck snorted into his pillow. Blair slapped him.

'Sorry! Sorry!' Serena giggled, 'I take it back! I'm sure you're just playing scrabble or something.'

Blair rolled her eyes, 'Exactly. So how's Cabbage Patch? He any good at... scrabble?'

Silence.

Chuck turned to stare at her, a frown on his face.

'Oh my god you're seriously not-?' She glanced at Chuck to make sure he wasn't listening.

He was.

'I mean no scrabble? I thought that's all they did all day in Brooklyn?'

Chuck raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. Shit, Blair knew at once that he'd cottoned on.

'No, no its just he's- Dan's- you know, having some... issues at the moment.'

Blair laughed. 'What, he can't get a triple word score?'

'Actually no.' Serena admitted, 'He's having, em, you know those issues Chuck had last year...?'

'Mechanical issues?!' Blair asked, laughing as she turned to smirk at Chuck. He glowered back at her.

'Yeah them.' Serena mumbled. 'So we- I mean I was wondering, how... you know... did you guys, eh... cure them?'

'All I had to do was agree to have sex with him.'

Serena sighed. 'I was hoping you wouldn't say that.'

Blair giggled as she felt Chuck's arm snake around her at the mention of sex.

'Maybe it's me?' Serena went on; unaware of Blair's slightly distracted state. 'Maybe I should-'

'Oh for Christ's sake Serena! Just give him a blowjob and get over it!' Blair snapped; eager to get back to her ridiculously horny boyfriend.

Boyfriend. She shivered with pleasure at the word.

'Blair, what's wrong?' asked Serena, confused. 'Are you oka- OMG YOU'RE HAVING SEX AREN'T YOU? BLAIR!'

'I am not having sex!' protested Blair. Chuck growled beside her. 'At least not yet anyway,' she added as his hand glided smoothly down her leg, his tongue in her ear.

'Blair, are you seriously rubbing this in my face right now? I already know you and Chuck get it on 24/7!'

'Well that's where you're wrong Serena.' Blair retorted 'We get each other off 24/7.'

'Ewww, gross B!'

'Look S, I've really got to go-' she gasped as Chuck pressed his erection into her lower back, 'Just- just call Nate. He's probably got some spare Viagra lying around somewhere.'

'Why don't you just ask Chuck for me?' Serena asked in exasperation, 'I know he's right there, listening in anyway.'

'Please,' Blair scoffed. 'Chuck Bass doesn't need Viagra, he's got me.'

She smirked as Chuck rubbed up against her in agreement.

Serena rolled her eyes. 'Whatever you say B.'

'He doesn't!' Blair insisted. 'Now I'm hanging up. Unlike you, I have a boyfriend that wants me, to get back to.'

'Okay, okay! I'm sure doesn't the great Chuck Bass doesn't need Viagra to get it up, now will you help me?'

'Sorry S, try Nate.'

'Blair!'

Click.

Blair turned around to face Chuck, a wicked grin on her face. 'Now where were we?' she asked.

Chuck rolled over, pulling her with him.

'Right here.' He murmured, his fingers travelling gently over her bare thighs as she straddled him.

Blair threw her head back as his erection met her heat through her flimsy La Perla's.

'Funny,' she said, glancing down at him, 'I thought someone told me you needed a little help getting it up.'

Chuck tugged at the edge of her panties, ripping them at the seams.

'The only help I need...' he murmured as he drew her face down to his, '...is you.'

And with that he thrust himself into her as his lips met hers fiercely, proving what they both knew all along.

Chuck Bass doesn't need Viagra to get it up.

He swears by the Essence of Waldorf instead.

Spotted: Serena Van Dar Woodsen out and about with not one, but three bags of La Perla's latest -and dare we say flimsiest- collection.

Trouble with the boyfriend, S? I'd give Blair Waldorf a call if I were you. Chuck Bass a one-woman-man? It seems there's nothing that girl can't do.

You know you love me,

XOXO gossipgirl