"The Wolowitz Enigma…"
Summary: On a honeymoon trip/working seminar at CERN in Geneva, Sheldon and his minions and a somewhat frustrated Amy find themselves trapped in a bit of a mystery…
"Of course it should be "The Sheldon Cooper Enigma'…" "But Howard solved it…" "That's beside the point…" "It is the point, Sheldon…And you could mention that Penny's here and was integral to solving the mystery…" "Why?...You just did…"
Follows a bit the action of "Gran Mag"…And another not yet written…
Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…
Part XVI…
"Fondue is a Swiss and French dish of melted cheese served in a communal pot (caquelon) over a spirit lamp (rechaud), and eaten by dipping long-stemmed forks with bread into the cheese. It was promoted as a Swiss national dish by the Swiss Cheese Union in the 1930s and became popular in North America in the 1960s."
"Bien…The word fondue is the feminine passive past participle of the French verb fondre ('to melt') used as a noun, probably influenced by a Franco-Provençal word. It is first attested in French in 1735, in Vincent la Chapelle's Cuisinier moderne, and in English in 1878."
Sheldon eyed Charlotte…Holding his fondue fork…Narrowing of eyes…Charlotte grinning back from her seat…
"To her, Moonpie…" Amy grinned…
"Get him, Charlotte…" Penny beamed…
"Well…The first known recipe for the modern cheese fondue under that name, with cheese and wine but no eggs, was published in 1875, and was already presented as a Swiss national dish. Despite its modern associations with rustic mountain life, it was a town-dweller's dish from the lowlands of western, French-speaking, Switzerland. Rich cheese like Gruyère was a valuable export item which peasants could not afford to eat." Sheldon, so there…Up-turned nose...
"The introduction of cornstarch ('Maïzena') to Switzerland in 1905 made it easier to make a smooth and stable emulsion of the wine and cheese, and contributed to the success of fondue." Charlotte, twirling fork…Arch smile…
"I was going to say that…" Sheldon frowned… "Anyway, Fondue was popularized as a Swiss national dish by the Swiss Cheese Union (Schweizerische Käseunion) in the 1930s as a way of increasing cheese consumption. The Swiss Cheese Union also created pseudo-regional recipes as part of the 'spiritual defense of Switzerland'. After World War II rationing ended, the Swiss Cheese Union continued its marketing campaign, sending fondue sets to military regiments and event organizers across Switzerland so that fondue is now a symbol of Swiss unity."
"Tres bien…" Charlotte nodded… "However…" determined gleam…
"Uh-oh…" Amy…
"Are we going to talk cheese all night…?" Bernadette hissed to Howard who put up a finger…
"Just a mo…This is getting interesting…Sort of like an incredibly long-winded version of Spy vs Spy…"
"The dish became popular in the United States through the late 1960s and early 1970s. In the meantime, as you noted, brother-in-law, fondue continued to be promoted aggressively in Switzerland, with slogans like 'La fondue crée la bonne humeur' 'fondue creates a good mood' and 'Fondue isch guet und git e gueti Luune' 'fondue is good and creates a good mood'-abbreviated as "figugegl". The extension of the name 'fondue' to other dishes served in a communal hot pot dates to 1950s New York. Konrad Egli, a Swiss restaurateur who had popularized cheese fondue, introduced fondue bourguignonne at his Chalet Suisse restaurant in 1956. Then in the mid 1960s, he invented chocolate fondue as part of a promotion for Toblerone chocolate. A sort of chocolate mousse or chocolate cake had also sometimes been called 'chocolate fondue' starting in the 1930s.
Cheese fondue consists of a blend of cheeses, wine and seasoning and is prepared in a cooking vessel of stoneware, ceramic, enamelled cast iron, or porcelain called a caquelon. To prepare the caquelon it is first rubbed with a cut garlic clove. White wine, cheese, and often kirsch are added and stirred until melted. A small amount of cornstarch or other starch is added to prevent separation."
"Sheldon?..." Leonard, grinning, eyed his friend's blinking, bemused face…
"Shel…Don…" Howard…Likewise grinning… "Has sis of the 189 IQ got you?..."
"Oh, for heavens sake, it's just bread or meat dumped into melted hardened milk that's been sitting around for months or years, usually growing bacteria and mold." Bernadette sighed…
"Sorry…" she shrugged… "It's been a long day and I'm tired…"
"I'm sorry, Bernadette…" Charlotte, kindly… "You're right…Sheldon?...Given you're not European, I concede you bonus points…Tie, brother-in-law?..."
"The bottom of a caquelon requires a thickness sufficient to prevent burning of the melted cheese when the vessel is placed over a spirit burner at the table. An encrusted layer of cheese forms on the bottom called the Grossmutter in German, La Religieuse in French, which is released when the fondue has been consumed and is shared between the diners." Amy, sly smile… "And since Sheldon told me that at lunch…" raising hand, eyeing her mate…
"You…" Sheldon grinned…High fiving, carefully…
"Bien…I concede…" Charlotte nodding with wave of hand…Warm smile… "Well done…Fowler-Coopers…"
"Wait…That's not fair…" Howard, slight frown…
"Oh, can't you give it a rest?…" Bernadette harshly…Rising and running from the table…
"Oh, my…" Charlotte, looking round… "I'm sorry…"
"No…" Howard sighed… "It was me…Excuse me, guys…" he rose and headed for the restaurant door Bernadette had just raced through…
"Was that?..." Leonard hissed to Penny…
"Yeah…"
"Should I?..." Charlotte eyed Amy….
"No…Bernadette's irrational jealousy of you should be dealt with by Howard…You'd only aggravate the situation…" Amy patted her hand…
"I didn't…" Charlotte, anxiously…
"No, for once entirely not your fault…Leonard, has Howard been talking about Charlotte much to Bernadette?..." Amy eyed him… "That would explain her volatility when Howard took her part…"
"Not that I'm aware of…" Leonard, blinking…
"I'm so sorry…I didn't realize…" Charlotte…
"Bernadette's clearly hypersensitive…I'm sure her jealousy is doubtless bound up with her guilt over betraying Howard with Rajesh…Right, Rajesh…?" Amy, pleasantly, to a Raj trying to slink down in his chair…
"Amy…" Penny, carefully…Raising a hand…
"Oh…Sorry…Right…We should be ignoring their affair for the sake of social convention…" Amy nodded… "My apologies, Rajesh…I was speaking hypothetically…I meant if you had had a passionate illicit affair with Bernadette…"
"Amy…" Penny, Charlotte…
"Which illicit affair was that Raj?..." Sheldon asked, curious… "Was it the one before we went to Maine or while we were there?..."
"Sheldon…" Penny frowned…
"One very large grasshopper for my friend here…" she waved to a passing waitress, indicating the sighing Raj… "On the double…"
"Thanks…" he croaked out…
"These things happen…" Charlotte, nervous smile to Raj… "Believe me, I know, Rajesh…Ummn…Not to suggest your behavior is anything like mine used to be…"
"Why don't we change the subject…Now…" Penny suggested hastily…Raj sighing and nodding…
"Absolutely…" Sheldon nodded… "Penny, as a healthy and fertile young woman, based on what Leonard's told me of your gynecological exams what's your impression of Amy's likelihood of conceiving during our honeymoon period?..."
"Sheldon…" Leonard, frowning… "Don't embarrass your missus like that…And I've never mentioned Penny's GYN exams…" Quick glance to Penny's frowning face…
"Oh, no…" Amy, beaming… "I'd very much like Penny's opinion…How's about it, bestie?...Do you think I have what it takes to start churning out Sheldon clones?..."
"But Leonard, you said Penny'd told you before she'd been told she could drop babies like…"
"Sheldon….!" Penny hissed… "Enough, please…" glare at Leonard…. "Amy, I'm no judge of that…Your sis is the doctor…"
"Not GYN…" Charlotte noted…"Though I would say, I think Amy should be quite fertile, given our family history and her fine constitution…"
Arch look to Amy…
Returned…With slight, irrepressible cackle…
Wait…
"Sheldon…?" Amy's face lit up… "Does your question imply you're anxious to commence reproduction?..."
Oh my God…Penny blinked at her…
"Hey…." Howard, startling the group who turned…Smiling…Leading Bernadette back to her chair…
"Hey…" Bernadette, shy smile… "I'm sorry I got upset…" she sat down… "I'm just a little tired…Charlotte?...Sheldon?...No offense intended…You're both very expert on fondue…"
"Not at all, Bernadette…" Charlotte nodded…Smile… "I hope you're feeling better now?..."
"Much…Thanks…"
"You alright there, buddy?..." Howard eyed Raj, slumped down in chair…
"Oh, fine…" Raj sat up a bit…
"You'll be pleased to know we've moved the topic of conversation onto the discussion of my fertility…" Amy cut in…A tad anxiously…
"The conclusion being I'm prime reproductive material…" she beamed… "And Sheldon wants to be a daddy…" wider beam…
No…Way…Leonard eyed Penny, who'd whispered quickly in his ear as the others spoke…
Way…She eyed him…Nodding…
"Sorry to deprive you of the surprise …" she hissed…
"Absolutely?..." he eyed her…
"Now that I know…Absolutely…" she whispered back, smiling at Amy…
"You want to be a father?..." Howard, staring at Sheldon…
"It's the social convention…" Sheldon shrugged…
"Absolutely…" Amy nodded… "So…Congrats, Dad…" she beamed at him…
"Sheldon?..." she looked at the floor…
Knew I shouldn't have let him sit near the end of the booth…
"Oh, my…" Charlotte, staring…
"Good thing Amy had me bring my bag…" she eyed the others staring at the unconscious Sheldon on the floor…
"There's no doubt?…" Father James eyed Dr. Benton, both seated in Benton's CERN office…
"None, now…The data storage was deliberately blocked and the real-time data deleted…There's definite evidence of sabotage…" Benton nodded…
"And…?" James eyed Benton's furrowed face…
"Yeah, more…Better not handle it, I've called the police to look at it…" Benton pushed a sheet of paper across his desk with the point of his pen to the priest who stared at it…
"Timshel…" James stared at the paper… "The Hebrew, anyway…
"…'Not…'"? he eyed the "Not" in English…
"What does it mean, James…?" Benton, carefully pulling the paper back again with pen…
"Roughly… 'You have no choice', I'd say…" James eyed him… "And meant as a threat, given what happened to Angela…Where and when was this found?..."
"Shoved under the main computer lab's front door…An hour or so ago…"
"Then…Whoever wrote it…Probably Angela's attacker and the likely saboteur…Has full access here…And knows the equipment in detail…" McEwan stared at Benton who nodded…
"No doubt there either…"