A really short chapter in this story, but there's a really long one coming up so that evens it out. Thanks to everybody who is following or favouriting or reviewing this :)

The bookstore had never seemed too bright before. If anything, Madison had found herself having to squint in the dimmed light before today and she'd been convinced she'd need glasses before college. Today it was like her boss had suddenly discovered a secret stash of light bulbs and had spent the week replacing every single fitting in the shop. She had literally never felt so ill.

Madison had always imagined a hangover as being something which got better as the day progressed. Hers had only got worse. This morning she'd been able to at least nibble on some toast before binning it surreptitiously when her mom wasn't looking. Now, the mere thought of her lunchtime sandwich was making her stomach roll over as though last night's beer was burning a hole in it. She had no idea how she was going to last through until five.

Like a bad joke, the store had actually been pretty busy today, April being that notorious month for book-buying. Desperate not to give her boss any reason to let her go, Madison had struggled through serving the customers, even when she'd felt like she might vomit in the face of one particularly irritating woman who had arrived in the store with no more knowledge about the book she wanted than a vague notion of what the front cover looked like. She felt she deserved a pay-rise, never mind job security.

When lunch time came, she was in no mood for eating, but staying in the store wasn't looking appealing either. Hoping some fresh air would make her feel better, she headed out into what was beginning to look like the beginning of spring.

'You look like shit.'

Somehow she wasn't surprised to find John on the bench outside her work. In fact, she couldn't help thinking it would seem rather empty without him now. That she was already so comfortable with his presence unsettled her; this wasn't how she usually behaved.

'Thanks. I feel it too.'

He regarded her with a smile. 'You eaten anything?'

'I think I'd die,' she answered honestly.

'You need to eat.' Unexpectedly, he took her elbow and began to steer her down the street. 'Come on.'

'I can't.'

'Trust me, you can. And here.' In one swift movement, he took his shades off and placed them over her eyes, sending the day suddenly into darkness. When she raised an eyebrow in what she thought was his direction but couldn't quite be sure, he added, 'You've gotta look after your eyesight.'

'Seriously, I don't think I can eat,' she said again as they headed towards the park.

'You'll feel better.'

'Highly doubtful.'

'Oh come on, Twinkie.'

'Don't even mention Twinkies!' Madison groaned. 'I wish I'd never agreed to come to that stupid party yesterday. I should have known it would only end in trouble.'

'Nobody forced you to drink that much beer.'

She knew he was right and so didn't reply, instead sinking gratefully down onto the park bench when they reached it, moaning heavily and burying her face in her hands. 'I can't believe people do this every weekend.' A rustling of paper next to her and a greasy scent which made her stomach lurch forced her to lift her head and look at the package John had thrust towards her. 'Are you joking?'

'It's perfect hangover food.'

Madison pulled a face at the saturated burger he was offering her. 'You mean it'll put me out of my misery?'

'Just eat it.' John slapped it down into her palm and sat back on the park bench. 'Or I'll take my shades back.'

She'd never admit it but the shades were helping somewhat, and not only by blocking the light out of her aching eyes. Like his jacket the night before, they were providing some ballast in a life which she wasn't feeling comfortable in right now. If she was honest, she couldn't really remember the last time she'd felt this secure, and that was ridiculous, because this was John Bender, Claire Standish's boyfriend, and relying upon anybody else was so not how Madison worked. That alone was almost enough for her to rip the shades off herself.

Now she eyed the burger in her hand. Fast food was a rare occurrence in their family and to be honest, she didn't really ever crave it. Her mom was a good cook, when she got the time, and Madison herself wasn't too bad. Popping out to the Golden Arches wasn't high on either of their priorities most of the time; in fact, it was only really Zach who ever suggested it. He'd have already wolfed this down without a second thought. Now she thought about it, his nausea had almost always abated when he'd been faced with just such an item of food. Perhaps there was something in John's logic.

Tentatively, she nibbled on the bun. When it didn't immediately come straight back up, she tried the burger. Three minutes later, she was scrunching the wrapper up and sitting back beside John on the bench.

'Better?' He raised his eyebrows.

Begrudgingly she nodded. 'Thanks.'

There was a period of silence which was surprisingly comfortable. Unconcerned with how she looked, Madison tilted her head back and closed her eyes, enjoying the early spring sunshine on her face. She was certain that her sudden burst of energy was due mainly to the high number of saturated fats she'd just put into her system and that in about two hours' time she'd be feeling the same if not worse. For now, though, she felt okay, and she could at least be grateful for that.

'So how's your brother?'

She raised her head to look at him, wondering why he had to spoil this. 'Okay.'

He studied her face and Madison was immediately grateful for the shades. His eyes ran over her for a long moment and then he shook his head. 'You've still not spoken to your mom, have you?'

Gritting her teeth, she replied, 'There wasn't really a right moment for it.'

'Is there ever going to be?'

The answer to that was obvious: asking if Zach's cancer was terminal was an impossible question. John was making a perfectly valid point. She just had no idea why he was bothering, and that bewilderment expressed itself in her usual form: attack-mode.

'What's it to you anyway?'

His eyes widened in the surprise she'd only seen a couple of times on his face. 'I'm only asking.'

'It has nothing to do with you.'

'Clearly.'

'You know nothing about my family life. You don't even know my mom, or my brother, so just… stay out.'

'Okay.' He held his hands up in defeat and slumped back onto the bench. 'I was only asking.'

'Well don't.'

The conversation dried up again into a much less comfortable silence and Madison immediately felt guilty for overreacting. She was just so unused to anybody taking an interest in her life, anybody knowing enough about her life to realise that there was more going on inside her head than mundane issues to do with school and work. John didn't deserve to have been treated like this, but to apologise was more than she could manage right now. Instead, she chose the usual option.

'I should get back to work.' She leapt to her feet. 'Thanks. For the burger. And… these.' Wrenching the shades off of her face, she dropped them into his lap. 'I guess I'll… see you at school?' Without waiting for an answer, she turned to go.

Then, in a small voice which she almost didn't hear, he said, 'You know, you could talk to me about it.'

Her eyes locked onto his and for a moment it seemed like he was telling the truth; she could talk to him. She could sit next to him and tell him everything, about her dad, and her mom, and her brother. She could tell him how scared she was for Zach and how much she wished her mom could have an easier life. She could share the unending fear which had dogged her for the last six years since her dad had walked out of their lives without any explanation. She could talk and he would listen. Her body was almost drawn back towards him through sheer longing for that to happen.

Then she put the walls up again, closing off any of the feelings which would lead her to make such a horrendous mistake.

'I need to get back.'