Disclaimer: Don't own it, must I repeat myself?
Chapter 10
'Run...ning to find what cannot be found...
Gone is the dreamer...to this world you are bound...
I will find you again...Alexander'
I jerked awake, the words still lingering in my ears. I shivered, clutching the thick material of my jacket to me. I despised cold weather, avoiding mountains whenever I could. Though that was not the only reason I felt cold. My conversation with Shiva lingered on the border of my thoughts constantly, waiting to catch me at a time where I was open to whispers of past words. I stalked out onto the deck, tail twitching in agitation. My breath came out in clouds as I let out a hiss of frustration. I knew Zidane was still alive, I could sense him on the edge of my mind. But there were dark things there too. I noticed someone else on the deck, pale skin and long blue hair stood out in stark contrast to the night sky.
'Run...ning to find-'
'Leave me alone' I hissed mentally. The voice fell silent, retreating again. Shiva hadn't noticed me, giving me time to watch her. She was shivering, though it can't have been from the cold. Her eyes saw something else...from her past, maybe.
'Or someone' I thought. Shiva turned around slowly, eyes glazed. She was Haukea again. Pastel blue hair twisted in the breeze, face hidden by the hood.
"Alexander..." She sighed "Why did you leave me?" I blinked. Haukea buried her head in her hands. I cleared my throat, shifting uncomfortably. Shiva tended to get violent when under the influence of extreme emotion. I did want to find Zidane in one piece. Her head snapped up, and I scrambled back.
'She's going to kill me!' Being the most prominent thought on my mind, I ran up to the prow and perched on the railing, listening carefully. A high pitched shriek informed everyone of Eiko's encounter with the un-stereotypical emotional wreck that was the eidolon and goddess of ice.
"KUJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A purple and pink blur whipped past, a pink moogle in hot pursuit. Even as my eyes were being scalded out by the vivid bright pink that both Eiko and her moogle were wearing, several Blizzagas whipped outwards into the night. The danger of death by being skewered on ice seemed to banish the pain. As Shiva came into view I shot forward, touching the snowflake pedant that had been a gift from 'someone' (I had a pretty good idea who) and Shiva's form vanished, sending me into the crates stacked against the wall. I struggled to keep Shiva from appearing again, using all my strength and magic to seal her there.
"Damn" I commented.
"Things aren't going very well for you, are they, first angel?" I soft voice asked. I chanced a look upwards. A small bird was perched next to me, flaming wings held at an impressive angle. A fire bird? There's only one of those...
"Phoenix?!" I gasped. She smiled and nodded.
"Though it is Shiva I truly worry about" She continued. I looked up at her again. "Her meeting with Alexander is the cause. He should not have allowed himself to be summoned, he admits that now. But...I suppose he acted the way he felt was right"
"Were they..." I trailed off, though she understood what I wanted to ask.
"Lovers? Yes. Every since they first met, until they were sealed away to defend Gaia from destruction many years ago" She shrugged and sighed "I don't understand what happened...it seemed they argued over something. They never spoke to each other again"
"That explains it then" Shiva started struggling inside my mind and I didn't have the strength to stop her. We both scrabbled to get out of the way. Lest she attack us again. Phoenix glowed as her form shifted (probably so she could talk to Shiva face to face). Shiva appeared and immediately made a beeline for Phoenix, who, to her credit, stood her ground. They stood about a foot away from each other, and I started backing away even more. I was surprised when Phoenix gave Shiva a sunny smile.
"I thought you would've been happier to see me" She smiled at Shiva's expression. After a moment the smile dropped "We are going to have to do something now, you know that Shiva" Shiva scowled and muttered something, and while I didn't hear it Phoenix must have.
"We have to Shiva! We can't risk Gaia or its future changing! Atomos is having a fit!" Phoenix snapped "I shouldn't even be here!" I became aware of the temperature of the room shooting upwards. The smell of ash became more noticeable as Phoenix's hands clenched.
"Shouldn't you go back then? I can handle myself fine. He'll probably detain you" Shiva replied. I cringed, anticipating a catfight between two eidolons.
"Atomos can take his detainments and shove them up his-"
"Okay, Okay I get the picture" Shiva sighed, scowling at the other eidolon.
"Why did you have to come?"
"Don't you mean why didn't Alexander come?" Phoenix replied, smirking. Shiva hissed angrily, disappearing back into my mind.
"I think I touched a nerve there" Phoenix smirked again.
"I thought all the eidolons got on with each other" I said to her.
"We tolerate each other, first angel. Some of us just lose patience" Phoenix shrugged, smiling vaguely.
"First angel?" I said in bemusement.
"You are the oldest of the genomes, are you not?" When I nodded she smiled brightly. "Therefore you are first angel"
"But why angel?" I asked.
"Children are like angels, and the genomes are like children" She gave me a sharp look "They are all so innocent, childlike. They did not have experiences like people do that make them mature. You own brother; Zidane was like a child for awhile. Before he found out who he was"
"Garland just created them to be power machines, not to function like a normal human" I replied.
"Zidane was fortunate. He developed his own character, did not end up like the soulless ones your sister is with" She commented.
"Zidane developed a character because he has a soul, unlike the others"
"Garland was very clever. To create an almost perfect being" Phoenix remarked offhandedly.
"Who'd want to be perfect?" I replied. Phoenix chuckled.
"Very true first angel" Silence lapsed between us, neither of us could think of anything to say.
"If you don't get on with the eidolons all the time...why do you even bother looking after one another? Why are you trying to help Shiva?" I asked.
"Why are you so determined to find Zidane?" She answered the question with one of her own. I blinked.
"Closest thing I have to a family? Guilt maybe? I'm not sure. We share the same blood; maybe it makes me feel responsible"
"You have eidolon in you too. Does that make you feel responsible for us?" She asked, leaning closer to see my reaction.
"Well I- what?" I yelled, tripping over air and hitting the floor with a crunch. Phoenix crouched down next to me, smiling apologetically.
"Sorry first angel. I didn't mean to spring it on you exactly like that"
"You always were the tactless one, Phoenix" Shiva drawled. I blinked up at her, wondering where she had come from.
"You try telling somebody they have eidolon in them. You either say it or spend precious time dancing round the subject" Phoenix retorted, standing up.
"You just had to tell me now didn't you?" I sighed.
"Well you don't have anything better to think about" Phoenix said amiably.
"How about how I'm going to get onto Garland's ship without being found and how I'm going to find Zidane and get all of us out of there in one piece" I groaned. Phoenix winced and Shiva snickered.
"Oops" Phoenix managed.
"Better tell him before he breaks, maims or kills something" Shiva (the hypocrite) advised.
"Well...Garland somehow got his hands on an eidolon's soul and and...heuseditwithhisearliercreationandthatshowyougothere" Phoenix finished in one breath.
"What?" I said.
"I think she said he used it with his earlier creation and that's how you got here" Shiva translated the hurried babble.
"It was the only way to get something so powerful to be stable enough to survive" The fire eidolon added.
"How did he do it with Zidane?" I asked.
"He had better technology and an extremely powerful soul- a summoner's one in fact- to make it stable" Phoenix nodded.
"A summoner's...from Madain Sari?"
"You don't seem surprised" Phoenix said curiously.
"I always knew he had a summoner's soul, how else could he be so strong? Why else would I want to save him so desperately?"
"It's an eidolon's instinctive desire to protect his summoner, in this case, your wish to save your brother is the eidolon half of your mind. He just doesn't have the understanding to summon properly. He probably never will" Phoenix sighed.
"Just the eidolon half" I murmured. "That's the only reason why?" I asked them, cringing at the edge of desperation in my voice.
"Most likely" Shiva replied.
'That's right' I thought, smiling wryly 'Why would Kuja care about anyone else?'
"Kuja?"
'Maybe...I don't care' I nodded, forcing any thoughts of Zidane as a brother away 'I don't. I'm only here to redeem myself. That's all...that's all I am'
Back on the ship, tears streamed unchecked down my cheeks.
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Wow. 5 pages! My longest chapter yet! I wanted to put a more into this chapter. Sorry if the amount of information has fried your brain.