Chapter 10 Talk and Answers
The party had long since ended and Izzy and Mia had just finished cleaning. Izzy looked around at the five large bags of trash deciding she would ask Jasper to take them out since honestly it's not like he gets tired. "Leave them." She said as Mia was bending to pick up two bags, "I'll deal with them tomorrow I'm beat."
"Thank God!" Mia said with relief as she straightened up. "What time are you heading out tomorrow?"
Izzy quietly closed the door to the bedroom hoping to keep from waking Deanne and Sydney. She turned rubbing her neck before answering. "Whenever Quil gets here. I was planning on just meeting him closer but he has never been to Texas. He wanted to see where I'm hiding." She said with a sad chuckle.
"Well if you change your mind and want more help driving, you know where I am." Mia said opening the door to head home.
Izzy laughed picturing Mia trying to drive the U-Haul. "I'll keep that in mind. Night" she said with a smile closing the door. Looking at the clock she realized if she hurried she had just enough time to get a quick shower before Jasper got there. Although, she was for the life of her still trying to figure out why she even text him in the first place, she was still mad at him. If she was honest with herself she knew she wasn't really mad but for some reason felt disappointed with the way Jasper acted, and with the way she acted in response. Izzy shook her head as she rinsed out her shampoo, 'A blow torch?' she thought 'really? That was the best she could come up with. Izzy turned off the water, stepping out she caught a glimpse of herself in the steamy mirror. She had grown accustomed to how she now looked it no longer took her by surprise but she couldn't help wondering what Jasper thought when he saw the new her. Pushing the thought aside she toweled off quickly and dressed knowing he would be here any minute.
Izzy grabbed a soda from the fridge and a joint before heading to the chairs outside to sit and watch the water. She always found it so relaxing out here. It made her feel like she wasn't as far from home after all. Knowing there was a spot just like this behind the house Jake and her had made their home. She lit her joint and waited. Her thoughts thinking of home and all that had happened, something she usually wouldn't allow herself to think about.
She knew Jasper was behind her even though he hadn't made a sound. It was a weird sense she has had since. She turned enough to catch his eye and motioned for him to take the other seat. She noticed he looked nervous as he sat down. He cleared his throat "I'm sorry about the other night Be… Izzy. I had no right to react as I did, or make any assumptions about your life. Especially in your home, it was so far beyond rude I don't even know what to call it. It was very regrettable." He said apologetically.
Izzy expelled the breath she had been holding. "Well, when you apologize, you do it thoroughly don't you?" she said with a chuckle "I acted regrettably also. How about we just forget it happened?" she took one last drag before flicking her joint into the water trying to think how to start. She knew he would understand if she explained she just couldn't figure out why she even cared if he understood or not. She hadn't seen him in years and even then they were acquaintances' at best. Why did she so compelled to tell him everything?
"You obviously know about the wolves so that makes things easier. Just so you know Jacob would have said the same thing you did, had he seen a marked imprint alone without protection. He also would feel that wolf didn't deserve to live." She finished sadly.
Playing with the label on her soda she continued making a point not to look at Jasper. "When you guys left I was…" Izzy paused looking for the right word. "Heartbroken. Forget the whole hours lost in the wet woods thing. I felt like someone had died. I didn't just lose the boy I loved I lost my whole family, the life I thought I would have, my future. You have to understand" she said pulling her legs under her. "Renee was very loving but a terrible parent. She was so scatterbrained I had to learn to pay the bills because she would forget. I had to go to the store because she always came home with junk food not staples like milk or eggs. Charlie didn't fight for me, when she left he just let her. I only saw him during the summer and honestly I was as grown up as him. He tried he did and he was wonderful in his own awkward way. Edward pulled me into your family and suddenly there were parent figures concerned with my well-being, was I hungry, did I need injuries mended, did I do my homework or need help. My parents were so lacking that for the first time I got a glimpse of what having a parent should be like. I was no longer an only child I had brothers and sisters. Everyone treated me like a sister, to an extent you did to. Alice was my best friend! Being an old soul I'd never had a best friend before other than Renee. Rosalie was like that older sister who is away at college she doesn't like you but she's still your sister and you still love her. And Emmett," she paused grasping for the words. "I felt the most betrayed by him, still do. I never really felt good enough to belong with Edward but I thought if it didn't work no matter what I would always have Emmett and Alice. I couldn't believe Edward when he said I was just a distraction and that the family didn't want me. I was sure I would get in my truck, go to the house and Emmett would be waiting outside to tell me Edward was just being Emo again. Then I got lost and spent 12 hours in those fucking woods and I realized Alice should have seen I needed help but she didn't come. Emmett would have come looking for me when Charlie called concerned because I didn't come home. But no one came, and I knew then I had been abandoned just as Edward said. All my life I always felt out of place but with the Cullens was the closest I had ever felt to fitting in, and they left me. They tossed me away like a shirt with a lip print on it, worse actually because I wasn't even worth trying to salvage." She took a drink and looked at Jasper for the first time.
"How did you get home?" He asked quietly mindful to only address something she had told him not one of the hundred other questions he had after reading that file. Information he shouldn't know.
Izzy smiled fondly "Charlie sent out a search party and called Billy Black asking if he could send so help from the res. Billy called the alpha of the wolf pack Sam asking him to send the wolves out looking. They had a better chance of finding me with their enhanced sense of smell, hearing and eyesight. By the time Sam found me I had been lost in the woods for just over 12 hours, I had fallen a lot and gotten hurt. Who am I kidding? I told myself I would be honest with you." she said shaking her head "I had just plain given up. I was curled up in a ball, and after raining for 6 hours I was just laying in a puddle of freezing water but I didn't have the will to get up. How stupid is that? At 17 I had let a stupid boy make me feel so unloved and undeserving and I was okay with just laying there until I died that was my brilliant plan. Sam found me he smelt the blood first, and then heard me muttering over and over 'He's gone. He left me.' He was afraid I had been bitten at first, then he realized it was my hands bleeding from falling so much. Sam carried me home to my father. They said I was in shock but four months later I was still an empty shell. It was like I was mourning a death. I put Charlie through so much during that time." She shook her head sadly. "I liked like to think I made up for it though." She said with a smile as she watched the lightning bugs.
"What changed?" he asked her.
"I started spending time with Jacob down on the reservation. Sometimes Quil and Embry would hang out with us. Jacob was so unassuming; I would just sit there quietly not saying much as he worked on a car he was restoring. He would chatter away as if everything was normal and I wasn't sitting there trying to hold myself together." Jasper interrupted "What do you mean hold yourself together?" he asked brow furrowed in confusion.
Bella looked at him thoughtfully. "I'm not sure how to describe it, to be honest it feels somewhat similar to how I feel with Jake gone only it is more intense now. At the time though it felt like the worst thing in the world. It was almost as if a part of my chest was missing, there were times I had to wrap my arms around myself, like this." She demonstrated for him. "Because I was afraid I would literally come apart if not. It was worse when someone mentioned the Cullens, it was sharper, like a stabbing pain. But that has nothing on the pain from losing your imprint. Did I tell you about that?" She asked suddenly
He shook his head no.
"The spirit warrior chooses his mate by imprinting on them. Once he has imprinted the spirit warrior will be whatever the imprint needs, usually the imprint happens the first time the spirit warrior lays eyes on his imprint after his first shift." She said not sure if she was sharing too many secrets or not, but couldn't seem to stop herself.
"Usually," he asked "but not always?"
"Jake and I were different he had been a spirit warrior for months before he imprinted on me. The tribal elders didn't know what to make of it but they came up with two theories. The first is that since Jacob was the rightful Alpha that unlike the others he had the ability to choose his imprint, I mean he had had feelings for me since we were kids. But I'm more inclined to believe the second theory which is that when Jake first shifted he couldn't imprint on me because my spirit was still so damaged but as I healed not only was Jake what I needed but I grew into what he needed to make his wolf stronger and more grounded, it was at that point he was able to imprint on me. Taha Aki knew we would be stronger together than apart, that our spirits should be as one when I healed. Jake fought so hard for me before the imprint that he would only fight that much more after. I believe if I understand correctly the best way to compare it is that it is for vampires the difference between simply mated and Soul Mated. If a spirit warrior imprints it is a soul bond. Not all warriors imprint, and my warrior was the strongest, the Alpha." Izzy said with pride. "I don't know if Jake picked me or the spirits did but for twelve years we led our pack well."
Jasper closed his eyes as he let the pride and love Izzy felt wash over him. Looking at her he said with understanding "You became Quileute. But not just in name but in spirit, they are not your husband's people but yours." He said reverently with a new understanding of her loss.
She smiled sadly, "Of course I did, my husband was the Alpha, in time the next Chief and he would have taken his place among the council of Elders. I was a paleface. I had to prove to the tribe that didn't know about the truth of the spirit warriors that I was worthy to be the wife of the Chief. My son was to be Chief after Jake; I not only learned but accepted their beliefs, customs and language. As Jacob's wife it was my place to teach our children our ways so that one day they may claim their place not just because it was their birthright but that they may lead with honor and wisdom." Izzy stared at the water unseeing lost in though.
"So how did you get from there to here?" Jasper asked motioning to the cabin Izzy now called home.
Izzy leaned over and opened the lid on the ice chest next to the chairs and grabbed a beer. She opened it and proceeded to drink the whole thing before answering. "It was about six months after the Cullen's left. A red- headed vampire, Victoria started playing with the wolves, testing for weaknesses in their patrols around our land. Trying to find a place where could she breach the parameter. At first Sam and the others didn't know what she wanted until they described her and I knew it was Victoria. We figured out she was after me after I told them about James, and fleeing to Phoenix. They thought it was amusing how I gave you the slip." Izzy said with an apologetic shrug. "The whole almost dying thing was not amusing at all."
Jasper let out a big laugh at his own expense. "I bet they did." He said shaking his head. "How long did she spend trying to get through the defenses." He asked his military mind going to work.
"About a year, then she just disappeared. Like she got bored or something, now I know she was just waiting for us to get comfortable and relax our guard." Izzy shook her head in anger "Twelve years!" she spat. "That bitch waited twelve years to come back. We hadn't completely dropped our guard but me personally I hadn't thought of her in years. Jake had, but not me. We hadn't even had any nomads come through in four years. My son Little Charlie had just turned four and dad was going to take him on his first camping trip just like he did for me and Jake when we turned four." Izzy thought back to that morning that changed her life forever. "Jake scouted the area that morning, there were no signs of vampires. He also went through and checked the site around midnight Charlie and little Charlie both safe and sound asleep. Jake went back through on his way back in at six and both were dead. Charlie died protecting my son. Ever the prepared cop he emptied two whole clips and it didn't do a thing to help them. She played with little Charlie, Jake didn't want me to know but I overheard him and Sam talking. Victoria's along with another scent was all over the place. Sam and Quil had to go back and move their bodies so it would look like an animal attack. Jake couldn't do it, I had to ID both of them. It was like Jake was paralyzed as we were standing there and they lifted the sheets and Jake couldn't look up." Izzy's mask cracked along with her voice and Jasper could see a bit of the old Bella as tears slid down her cheek. The sadness, despair, and pain coming from Bella kept hitting Jasper in tidal waves.
"Bella" Jasper said softly "You can stop you don't have to tell me anymore." taking her hand gently. She looked up and for the first time since he saw her in that dark club all traces of her new personality were gone it was just the sweet Bella he used to know.
"If I stop now, that's it I can't do this again." She admitted shamefully as if there was something wrong with her for not wanting to relive this pain again. Jasper nodded wishing she wouldn't go on, but hoping that the concern and empathy he was sending her would help some. "Thanks" she said quietly as she nodded before going back to picking at the label on her ignored soda.
"It got bad, it went on for about two months. Twelve people total, well thirteen actually. She managed to get onto the reservation a couple times. She had two other vampires helping her. After the funeral, Angela Webber from Forks High came out to the house brought some food. Angela always knew what I needed; she was the only one I stayed friends with when I switched to school on the reservation senior year. She just lay down on the bed next to me and held my hand. She didn't say a word no bull shit platitudes or crap about God's will or better places just the comfort of knowing she wasn't going to let go of my hand until I was ready. She stayed in bed with me for two days, and then stayed with us a few more but eventually she had to get back to work. They got her from her parents house pulled her to the woods but somewhere along the way she was knocked out, the medical examiner didn't think she felt it. The think she took a walk in the woods behind her parent's house but we all know that's bull shit. Renee and Phil, they caused them to wreck the car then drained them. We were so stupid we moved all the imprints and kids to one house furthest of the pack houses from the treaty line. Jake had left two of the younger wolves at the house because he wanted to keep them away from danger and the leaches would have to come across the whole res to get to us. They came from the fucking ocean right to the back of the house. Killed Brady and Colin the two wolves left behind Emily, Sue, and Claire she was Brady's imprint but she was just eleven. They took Sarah." Bella said as the pain surged over Jasper again. Bella looked so lost as her eyes finally came into focus as they landed on Jaspers face. "My daughter." Bella finished. Suddenly hitting Jasper with anger unlike anything he had felt before. If anger were a flame he was being engulfed in an inferno.
"She used Sarah to draw me out only to kill her in front of me. Jake found us but it was him against three as the other wolves were trying to get there. All the while he was trying to protect me and the baby. Two minutes, if Quil and Embry would have been there two minutes sooner Jake would still be alive, my unborn child would still be alive and Victoria wouldn't have gotten away. I still don't understand it Victoria told me when she was holding Sarah that originally she wanted a mate for a mate. Edward killed hers so she was going to kill me, so Edward would know her pain. Then she realized since Edward left me I wasn't his mate but a pet!" Bella yelled "All this death and destruction and I wasn't even his mate. The Victoria decided that it would be better revenge for me to know how it feels to lose everything to lose my mate. WHAT! THE! FUCK!" Bella yelled again as she paced back and forth in front of Jasper getting more and more agitated until Jasper had to start calming her emotions.
Bella took a deep breath settling herself and the mask was back hiding the gentle Bella, Jasper watched in fascination it was a strange thing to behold as she retreated behind her new identity "I get being pissed about your mate she wanted revenge." Izzy said in a deathly calm voice "I get it I want revenge! What the hell kind of monster preys on pregnant women and innocent children. The Quileute had nothing to do with James death. She should have gone after the Cullens but since they abandon me she directed all her vengeance on us. And because of my involvement with the Cullens I brought death to my people. So when Victoria disappeared again while I was in the hospital I decided I would leave draw Victoria away from our people. That was three years ago and I haven't been back since. Someday I will have the power to get my own revenge for all she's taken from me." Izzy finished the promise in her voice making the hair on the back of Jasper's neck stand up. 'Heaven help us all if she asks for my help', Jasper thought 'After hearing what she's been through, I won't have the strength to turn her down.'
"So what now? You have this big U-Haul out front what's happening now?" Jasper asked fearing that his finding her was driving her to relocate again.
"I'm taking my friend Deanne and her daughter to the reservation to protect them, her ex is a bastard and is looking for them. On the res utilities and school enrollment are not public record. Quil will be here tomorrow to help us drive up. Plus, I kind of have to go back for a few days anyway." She said nervously
"Why? Victoria could be waiting for you to come back." He said his mind already running scenarios.
"Jacob's father is on his death bed he is asking for me. I have to go. He never blamed me for his son's death, his grandchildren's. I have to go make peace with him so he may move on to the spirit world. I have to do this for Billy." She said crying.
"I want to ask your permission to do something or a couple things." He said understanding there was no way she wouldn't make this trip. "Anyways I need to tell you something that may ruin this tentative friendship we have going."
"I'm listening" she said opening another beer.
"Edward didn't kill James, I did. He was too experienced of a fighter Edward couldn't take him. I killed him and Rose helped me burn him. Edward was busy sucking your blood at the time. All this vengeance is because of me. My actions against her mate." he said letting Izzy soak in what he just said.
Izzy shook her head "No it's not. James wanted me and Edward presented me as his mate. He dangled me out there like a juicy steak. You may have finished it but it's still on mine and Edwards heads. You saved me. What did you want to ask?" she asked leaving no room for further debate.
"I have a friend who is a tracker, best I've ever seen, better than James. I'd like to start looking for Victoria, clean up my mess and maybe give you some peace of mind. Two I'd like to follow you to Forks just in case you need me. If not I'll stay hidden."
Izzy thought for a minute before shaking her head. "No on Forks after everything I can't justify a friendship with you to them."
"Does that mean yes on tracking Victoria." He asked getting excited.
"On one condition, I want her brought back to me I want a say in how she dies." Izzy said the ice back in her voice.
"It's too dangerous something could happen she'd get loose and could kill you. I won't take that risk just because you don't care about your life doesn't mean I'm willing to gamble with it." Jasper said angrily.
Izzy crossed her arms over her chest and countered "Then change me. Train me. Give me the tools to go after her myself. Like you said my life doesn't mean shit."
Jasper looked at her like the crazy person she sounded like "Maybe not to you but it means something to me." While in the back of his mind he was considering it. It would give him more time to convince her she still had a place in the world. "We will talk when you get back, but honestly you're sounding like you're a few cards short of a full deck."
Izzy smirked at him before popping off as she headed for the door. "Oh no worries will talk about this again. See you when I get back. Hey" she said turning towards him walking backwards "I bet if you're not willing to do it the perv will." She said raising her eyebrows suggestively as she slipped through the door and out of sight.
Jasper ran his hand through his hair. "Holy shit what have I just gotten myself into?" he thought before heading home. She was right about one thing Peter understood revenge and would have no problem turning her. For some reason the idea of Peter's venom coursing through her veins sickened him, while the idea of his own delighted him. What the hell was going on?