"Something troubling you, Vet?" Scorch asked me. I was at "The Fort", going through some issues in my mind. "Its just... I dont really wanna say." I replied. "The less you want to talk about it, the worse it is if you dont." He countered. "Fine... Its about Rainbow. I... Its a bit embarassing to talk about, but... I think I love her." "And? That is compleatly normal." "No, it isnt, because she is a pony, and I am a human." "I have an idea. Lemmie get Schadenfreude..."
With that, Scorch disappeared for a short while, only to return with Schadenfreude.
"So, jou are in love vith Dash, ja?" Schadenfreude asked. "Well... Er... Yes. Why?" I replied, noting that it was getting hard to move my wings. "I could build somezing to turn jou into a pony, like her." "Wish I had known earlier. That would have saved me quite some time worrying." "Ja, maybe it vould. How vould I know, though? I am not psychic." "Good point. Perhaps one of us should inform the mane 6, to prevent confusion?" "I will." Scorch said, almost a split second after I finished talking. He then went to inform them. "I vill start ze building, but zere are parts zat I vill need help vith." Schadenfreude stated. "If I didnt help you build the... Whatever it is, then I would have to question my own emotions." I replied.
Just then, Scorch got back from his informing.
"Now zat ve are all here, lets build ze device." Schadenfreude said. "Its a device?" I said, slightly scared of what it might be. "Quite correct. Now, time to get started." he replied.
(I dont want to bore you with the details, so, something like 1 hour later...)
"Not what I though would be used to make me a pony, but, whatever..." I said, staring at what we had built.
If anything, it looked like a poorly built Shotgun.
"Better zen ze alternative." Schadenfreude pointed out. "Are you sure this will work?" asked Scorch, trying to imitate a Heavy Weapons Guy, but failing the Russian accent. "I have no idea!" Schadenfreude replied, flawlessly imitating his voice from the time when he first used an ubercharge. "We didnt built it just to look good, so best see what this does." I said, interrupting them both. "Okay, okay, hold your ponies." Scorch replied, then laughed at his own joke. "Not funny. Not funny at all." I stated. "Didnt have to be for you, it just had to be for me." "Whatever. Lets just get this over with, as I suspect the transformation might hurt."
Schadenfreude aimed the end of the "Poorly Built Shotgun" at me, and hit what would amount to the trigger. The last thing I knew before it hit me was the feeling of my brain predicting unconsciousness. Correctimundo.
"Welcome to the inner sections of your conscious." A voice said. "Is that where I am right now?" I asked it. "Quite right, so dont be suprised if you see some very odd things." "Well, what are you, and who are you?" "I am effectively a greater being, and you can just call me God." "Okay, God, why are you in my mind?" "Why? Because, Veteran, you are up against a greater evil then ever though possible by mortal kind." "You could just tell me what the evil is." "If you really want to know, then fine. Its name is Hyperion." "Mind giving me an accurate description?" "Hyperion is effectively the spirit of destruction." "I thought that was Satan?" "Common mistake, he is my counterpart and rival." "So, continue about Hyperion?" "Sure. Hyperion has many servents across many universes, such as Tribalsniper." "Tribalsniper AIDS that guy?" "Correct, which means that Hyperion isnt the cause of the zombies." "Lemmie guess, a necromancer?" "Correct. He is also in the realm, and really should be in the Castle Crashers universe, so dont kill him outright." "I dont think even you could stop me, or my teammates, from killing him." "Just to remind you of who you are talking to, I am God." "Okay. Its been so long since the start of our conversation, I think my teammates are gonna start worrying." "They did so the moment you were sent here. Rainbow Dash found out as well." "Well, mind waking me up now?" "Okay. Just keep in mind what I have told you, and you should be able to know your enemy."
One moment later, I was back at "The Fort".
"Jou vere knocked out for ages! I though jou vere dead!" Schadenfreude yelled at me. "Nice to see you too." I replied, clearly indicating my disapproval of being yelled at. "Hope you have an excuse, outside of being tired, for not waking up earlier." Scorch added. "God told me just exactly what I was up against." I replied.
That was when I noticed that I wasnt human anymore.
"Lemmie guess, the device worked." I said, in light of this information. "Yep, but it did KO you for a ridiculous amount of time." Scorch replied.
Someone whacked the back of my head.
"Dont get knocked out for that long EVER AGAIN! I thought you were dead!" Rainbow Dash yelled at me. "If I had been dead, then explain why." I replied. "You werent breathing, you werent moving - usually that means you are dead." she said, slightly calmer now. "Not in my case." I stated, slightly suprised that she had been that concerned.
"If you end up like that again, I will make you WISH you had died." Rainbow warned.
"Just you yelling at me like that makes me wish that." I replied jokingly.
That was how my comrades found out, how I became a pony (Pegasus, luckily), and how I met God.