A/N: My apologies for not posting anything in a long ass time. I have a laptop now, and easier access to interwebs. Plus I've recently become addicted to Tumblr and some of my followers on there inspired me to write more, so here's a new chapter for the Tales. I'm hoping to get a new story up and going soon, but I can't decide whether it'll be for Spashley or Faberry (Glee) so I will let you know! Leave me some love, okay? I hope this at least makes you giggle a little. Enjoy!
WARNING: Explicit language used in this chapter!
"Hey Ash?"
"Yeah, babe?"
"Could you run to the store for me? I need more nails."
"Sure thing."
"Make sure you go to the hardware store this time."
"It wasn't my fault!"
"I know I know. How were you supposed to know that the seven stores you went to last time wouldn't carry any nails at all. Just go to Ace or something."
"As in cards?"
"No, honey. Ace Hardware. Or Lowe's, or whatever's around here."
"Right."
"Ash?"
"Yes?"
"Try to avoid the candy store this time."
"But…but…"
"I do not need a repeat of last time."
"But its candy…"
"Nope. Not dealing with your crabby ass and a sour stomach. No candy, please."
"Fine."
"Could you go get the nails now?"
"Whatevs. Be back momentarily."
"Thanks honey."
Door slams
30 Seconds later
"Shit."
"Ash?"
"Damnit."
"Ash? Honey?"
"Son of a bitch!"
"Ashley Marie! What is your problem?"
"I grabbed the keys to your car instead of my truck."
"Well grab the right ones this time, goofball."
"Gotcha. Be back."
Door slams
30 Seconds Later
"Damn it all to Hell!"
"Ashley?"
"What is this fuckery?"
"What's the matter now?"
"Grabbed the keys for the lawn mower."
"Um, they're like half the size of your truck keys babe."
"….I knew that."
"Got the right ones now?"
"Yeah! Be back!"
Door Slams
30 Seconds Later
"MOTHERFUCKER!"
"Dear sweet Lord, what is the problem this time?"
"Grabbed the keys to the boat."
"…we don't have a boat."
"…well then. I have no idea what these are for."
"Oooookay. Where are your truck keys?"
"I don't know, but could you help me look?"
"Sure thing, babe."
Thirty Minutes Later
"Spence?"
"Yes?"
"Spencer?"
"Yes, Ash?"
"SPENCER!"
"I'm standing behind you."
"Oh, yes. I found my keys."
"Where were they?"
"…I don't want to tell you."
"Ash, where were your keys?"
"…in my pocket."
*facepalm*
"In my defense, I don't remember putting them there!"
"Then who did, Ash?"
Meow
"Not now, Chunkit."
"Well, now that you have them, please go and get the nails!"
"Okay, calm down Satan!"
"What?"
"I said I'll be right back with those nails, darling!"
"Okay. I love you!"
"Love you too, be back soon."
Door Slams
"It was me."
"…"
"I put her keys there."
"uh…Chunkit?"
Meow
"Thank God, I thought I was channeling my wife for a moment."
"I totally did it."
"…..WHAT THE FUCK?"
~END~