My Pet Peeve

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

For the third time that day, Shikamaru wondered why he was doing this. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Going outdoors every once in a while was good for you. Not to mention the fact that Hidan was getting bored and whenever this creature got bored, something bad happened to him. The boy enjoyed causing him problems and was almost definitely some kind of sadist.

"What are we doing? We've been walking for fucking hours!" And so the whining began.

"It's barely been an hour." The fool could be lazier than he was sometimes and that was saying something.

"Why are we doing this shit?"

"Because if I have to spend another day indoors with you I will go absolutely insane." Hidan was even more irritating in a confined space than anywhere else.

The place they lived in was fairly close to the sea which was good for Shikamaru. It meant he had somewhere to escape to whenever life got too much and he needed to clear his head. The beach closest to the city wasn't particularly scenic. It was covered with stones rather than sand and it was fairly isolated. You had to walk along a coast path that started by a harbour and continued along some winding cliffs.

People had been coming here for too long for it to have the appearance of being completely natural. It had a great view of the sea though and when the sky was clear it was quite relaxing. For someone who felt like simply dozing and letting the world pass by, this place was perfect. Shikamaru came here often when he could be bothered to walk that far and he would always feel his worries melting away. Hidan was not so impressed.

"I'm tired! And my fucking feet hurt!"

"Just shut up and walk." There was no way his favourite past time was going to be ruined by this jackass.

"Tch. You're so weird." ...Like you can talk. "You actually enjoy all this walking?"

"Of course not. It's troublesome." He could tell he was getting a weird look at the back of his head.

"Then why are you making me do all this bullshit?"

"Leaving you alone in my house could prove disastrous." At least when he was sulking, Radio Hidan wouldn't be sounding out any of his irritating comments or insulting everyone that came past.

It wasn't warm but the sun was shining and things were nice enough. As it was a weekday not many people around and the beach itself was practically deserted. Just how he liked it. It didn't take long for Shikamaru to find a spot to lie down on. The rocks dug into his back a fair bit but he was too tired to care. Napping in a public place made a nice change from napping at home.

"Is this all you're doing? This is exactly the same as the shit you do at home!"

"Fresh air is good for you." He was mumbling as he started to drift off. Hidan could do what he liked, he couldn't care less. When they were in a public place he could pretend this man wasn't his problem.

"Lazy shit."

"I miss the days when you were quiet. I had less headaches that way." The silver haired man had still annoyed him but at least he wasn't whining then.

Hidan scowled at him. Of course the brunette was half asleep so he didn't notice but it made him feel better. No way was he going to allow him to get away with this insult. Perhaps burying him alive would do it?

There were plenty of stones around and he began stacking them on the dozing one who tried to ignore it for as long as possible. When it became hard to breathe from the weight on his chest he had to do something about it.

"What are you doing now? We're outdoors. There's a dog walker over there, go annoy them."

"You insult me, I bury you." It was reasonable enough to him.

"Stop that."

"No."

"You are such an idiot. Just knock it off."

"But I'm so fucking bored!"

"You're never satisfied!" Shikamaru sat up and used the look he'd learnt from his mother. "Go and play over there."

"I'm not a kid!"

"You act like one. Now get out of it." Surprisingly it seemed to work. After a few outraged huffs, Hidan stormed down the beach which allowed him to get back to his snoozing.

Hidan spent a good few minutes sulking before he decided to find something to do. Preferably something that annoyed Shikamaru. And as the brunette had recommended he bothered the dog walkers that would be a start. He found his new target in the form of a young woman with blonde hair tied into four pigtails. Her hair annoyed him and the colour was the same as the last woman to completely piss him off. Plus she had a yappy dog and those were truly evil creatures.

Subtlety was not his thing so he went in for a full frontal attack. It was lucky that he had some confidence in his looks as he strode over, his gaze focused on the unsuspecting target. She didn't notice him until he was too close for her to avoid him and she gave him a nervous smile.

"Hi..."

"Hey. I'm bored." Being blunt usually worked for him.

"That's... nice."

"Want to help me relieve my boredom?" Just a little flirty but not too much. It had the desired effect. She blushed but seemed a bit keener. Stupid whore.

"I guess so... what did you have in mind?"

"This." It was a thing of beauty really. One moment the dog was minding its own business, the next it was sailing through the air and heading straight in to the sea. It wasn't enough to kill it but it was enough to have him doubling up with laughter while the girl shrieked in rage.

"What is wrong with you? You sick bastard!"

"It's your own fault for having a dog as fucking annoying as that so suck it." She looked as if she was considering punching him which of course, made him laugh even more.

Shikamaru heard the shrieks and the manic laughter and inwardly groaned as he knew that it would be disastrous for him to ignore this. Especially he saw who it was that Hidan was bothering.

Oh shit. In seconds he was up and dashing down the beach. The fact that he was willing to run just showed how serious the situation was. But what were the chances of it being someone he knew that his 'pet' had decided to bother?

"Temari!" She turned away from yelling at Hidan and froze a little when she saw him. It was understandable. The last time they'd talked hadn't been great.

"Hi Shika... Long time no see."

"Yeah..." For a moment they were so caught up in the awkwardness they forgot about the loudmouth in the corner.

"You know this bitch?" Both scowled at him.

"This is Temari, Gaara's sister."

"Is that the pissy redhead?"

"That's the one."

"This guy is with you? You realise he nearly drowned my dog?" The thing looked bad enough normally, but wet it looked like a drowned rat.

"I am so sorry about that. He's... kind of a moron."

"Hey!"

"Don't worry about it... So... I'll see you around sometime?"

"Yeah I guess."

"Stop ignoring me dickheads."

"I better go... she might get ill and it's not really my dog..."

"That's fair..." After a few mumbled goodbyes she hurried off while he was left with Hidan who was giving him the dirtiest look.

"Who the hell was that? You were acting weird!"

"She's just a friend of a friend. Well a sister of a friend."

"It's not just that. You guys fucked didn't you!"

"No we didn't!" Now his cheeks had gone red. He wasn't lying but the fact that he'd been made to envision it with this girl had freaked him out.

"Tell me you dick! What happened?"

"I don't get why you're so overly interested. And why are you mad?"

"Because. Now tell me." The whining began so he knew it was easier to just get it over with.

"We never really got together! We just nearly did, alright?"

"Nearly? What the fuck does that mean?"

"She was interested and I didn't want to get into a relationship, ok?! I liked her admittedly but I couldn't deal with troublesome women. Happy now?" The silver haired boy was silent for a minute.

"So you'd still consider it?"

"I don't know! It was a while ago. And women like commitment too much for my liking, and that requires effort."

"You better not."

"Why?" It was hardly any of his business who Shikamaru hooked up with.

"I know how this shit happens! You're fine with me for a while but you get a girlfriend and I'm not fucking good enough! Then I end up on the street cause you put some whore over me!"

"...Is that what happened to you before?" It sounded like a bad break up.

"...None of your fucking business." ...You've practically told me idiot.

"Fine, fine. You shouldn't worry though. Even if I got a girlfriend, I wouldn't throw you out. You'd probably stalk me everywhere I went until I let you back in."

"Wow, thanks. I feel great now." The sarcasm was dripping off but at least he seemed happier.

"Out of all the people you had to piss off though... Gaara will kill you when he finds out what happened."

"He can fucking try." Obviously he'd never seen what the redhead could do. It was surprising how well he adapted everyday household items for use as weapons. They never asked how he picked up that particular skill set.

"Right. Home. Now."

"Eh? I thought you wanted to come here? We walked fucking ages for this and now you want to leave?"

"No way in hell. If you do anything else we might get lynched so shift ass." Although maybe it would do Hidan some good to get a good beating. It might teach him not to be such a prick to people.

"I hate you sometimes."

"You want to carry on living rent free with all meals cooked for you?"

"Just kidding! You're fucking awesome!"

So easy...

-Page Break-

"You think anyone would notice if I stole that bitches pancake thing?"

"I'm assuming you mean a crepe? And yeah I'm pretty sure her parents wouldn't be too pleased."

"She's barely fucking touched it! It's a waste of food and all that shit."

"Well seeing as she can't be more than three that's not surprising." It was bad enough he had to insult everything but if he started stealing from children it would be impossible to leave the house without being beaten up.

Why me? Can't someone else have this troublesome idiot?! Although he doubted anyone else would be as much of a pushover.

"Why is your house so far away anyway?"

"Because. Why do you complain about every single thing?"

"I don't complain about everything! People are just dicks."

"I can't argue with you there."

"You're up your ass sometimes too. And all you do is sleep!"

"No one else has a problem with it. Now can't you find a way to entertain yourself without getting into trouble?" It was tempting to leave him there and escape but then he had an image of Hidan sitting in a cardboard box in the rain like an abandoned puppy and groaned. His conscience wouldn't let him do that.

"What's wrong with you?" Hidan was uncomfortably close and he groaned again, even louder. "What?!"

"Personal space isn't something you understand, is it?"

"No~." He seemed to take this as a compliment and started hugging him in the middle of the street. A few people stared and the grip around his shoulders was too tight to escape from.

"Can't you at least do this at home where no one can see?"

"I knew you liked it really."

"No, but when we're at home I don't get stared at." Those girls in particular were giving him funny looks and giggling. Troublesome women and their evil brains.

"Queers!" ...And there's another reason. A couple of guys definitely younger than them had made their thoughts pretty clear. It was the first time he'd ever had any of that hassle although he'd seen it done to friends of his. All of those men had never done it again... it was doubtful they'd ever leave their houses again after meeting Gaara and Sasuke. It seemed Hidan was also not impressed.

"What the fuck did you say?"

"I called you what you are, which is a dirty pair of queers." The boy's smirk lasted for about two seconds before it met Hidan's fist. There was barely time for him to move before he was kicked in the stomach and fell to the ground. His friend didn't fare any better and was soon joining him on the ground, struggling desperately to breathe. Hidan grabbed the loud one by his collar and pulled him close to his face and scowled. He looked like he was about to piss himself.

"You better get the fuck out of here or I will rip your fucking faces off! And if I see you again I will kill you. And I won't be slow about it either." There was a small yelping noise and both boys ran as fast as they could. "Ha! That skinny fucker was crying! What a pussy shit!" Of course this was a great source of amusement.

"Nicely done." It had been an impressive display.

"Eh? You don't mind? I thought you'd be pissed off."

"Not when it's people like that. They deserve what they get."

"Too fucking right. If I want to molest you in public that's my business!"

"Excuse me?!"

"What?"

"I'd rather you didn't molest me at all! Where do you get this from?"

"I like that shit. And you're the right height for me."

"...You're very clingy aren't you?"

"...Maybe a little..."

"That's an understatement and a half. Now let's go, all these people are giving us looks."

"Nosy bastards!"

"The shouting isn't helping!" He was going to need to dye his hair if he ever wanted to go outside again.

First update in weeks ^^ All my deadlines are done for a while so can get back to fun things like this. Bit of homophobia at the end, simply because I enjoyed thinking about what Hidan would do to people like that and it was greatly satisfying :) Thanks for reading and please review :3