I lay in my bed anxiously as Lena goes to get Jude. I didn't know what to expect, he had a right to feel anything about the situation. Every time I hear footsteps approaching my room, I hold my breath. It feels like ages until I see Jude run through the door. I see Lena in the hallway, who points to the lobby to tell me she'll be there. I'm grateful she is letting us be alone.
"Hi, baby." I say quietly.
I still can't tell what he's feeling.
He walks closer to my bed and grabs my hand.
He looks up and down my arm.
"Why would you let him do this, Callie? Why didn't you tell me? Or Bill?" He asks.
"Jude I just wanted to protect you. You were finally safe and happy, I just-" I begin explaining.
Jude cuts me off.
"But you weren't! You're my big sister, it isn't worth being safe and happy if you aren't." He says.
A lump forms in my throat.
"I'm sorry. Protecting you is the only thing I have some control over, and you know I'd do anything to make sure you were protected." I say.
"I don't want to lose you." Jude says, looking down at his feet.
"You will never, ever lose me, Jude. I'm always gonna be here for you, why would you ever think I wouldn't?" I ask.
"Liam could have killed you if you kept letting him do this to you. When Lena told me, all I could think of the entire ride was how happy I was you told because if you didn't, who knows what could have happened. I was so scared. All I could think about were what if's." He explains.
"I'm okay Jude. I'm not leaving you, so don't even let those what if's bother you. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." I reply.
"But you're not okay! You're in the hospital and you're hurt. I hate seeing you like this. It never gets easier, Callie." He almost yells.
"I'm sorry, Jude. I'm so sorry."
That's all I can get out.
I feel so guilty.
"Where are we gonna go?" He asks, quietly.
"I don't know. But wherever we end up, we'll be together, right?" I ask, forcing out a smile.
Jude nods.
"Come here." I say, scooting over in my bed.
"But what if I hurt you?" He asks.
"You won't. It'll make me feel better. You always make me feel better." I assure with another forced smile.
He hesitates, but eventually crawls in next to me. I kiss his head, and bury my face in his hair and close my eyes.
We lay like this for a while until Lena and Stef walk in, Bill not far behind.
"Hi, Callie." He says, nodding his head at me.
I nod back.
"How are you feeling?" He asks.
"Where are we going next?" I ask, getting straight to the point.
I didn't want small talk.
"Well, that's what I came in to talk about with you. Stef and Lena have agreed to take both you and Jude in." Bill replies.
Jude and I sit up.
"Really?" Jude asks, a smile spreading across his face.
I can't even form words.
I'd have a break, a place where I wouldn't have to worry about anything.
"I will be picking up your things from the Olmstead's house tomorrow morning and bringing it by. I've already given Stef and Lena your files. I'm really sorry about everything, Callie." He says, before waving goodbye and leaving.
I look up at Stef and Lena.
"Thank you." Are the only words I can croak out.
"You don't have to thank us, we just want you guys to be safe, and the only way we could make sure that you were was if you were under our roof." Lena says with a smile.
Jude gets off the bed and hugs Lena and then Stef.
Stef winks at me.
"Why don't I go get us all food? I can get something that isn't hospital food." Lena suggests.
"Can I come?" Jude asks.
"Sure bud, I could use the extra hands, but what do we want?" Lena answers.
"Why don't you pick up a few burgers and salads from that place down the street?" Stef says.
Lena agrees and begins putting what everyone wants in her phone.
The thought of food makes my stomach turn, plus, it wasn't an eating day, and I can't remember the last time I had a full on meal anyways.
"Callie?" Lena says, waiting for me to tell her what I want.
"I-uh I'm not hungry right now." I say, my eyes not looking up.
"We need you to eat something, love. How about just a cheeseburger and a chopped salad?" Stef suggests.
I want to argue, but I can't do it, so I just nod my head.
Lena and Jude leave to get the food, leaving me and Stef alone.
Stef comes near my bed, pulling a chair up next to it.
"I'm gonna ask you something, and I need you to answer me honestly, okay?" She says.
I can feel myself tense up.
"When was the last time you ate?" She asks.
I swallow.
"This morning." I lie.
"Callie." Stef says with a tone that doesn't sit well in my stomach.
I hesitate.
"Callie, please." Stef pushes again.
"Tuesday." I finally say after having a mini battle inside my brain.
"Callie, honey. That was two days ago." Stef says, and I can hear the sadness in her voice.
I look at her and swallow. I did not want to have this conversation.
I didn't want to be weak.
I didn't want to stop.
"We were looking through your file, and at your last doctors appointment you weighed 119 pounds, and now you're 104. This isn't healthy, Callie." Stef continues.
I can't get myself to answer her.
"Please, let us help you. You trust us, right?" She asks after I don't reply, again.
I feel tears in my eyes. I close them, but one tear escapes. I take a deep breath, and wipe it off my cheek.
"Love, talk to me. You aren't alone." Stef says.
"I can't." I say.
"You can't what?" Stef asks.
"I can't talk to you about it." I answer.
"You can talk to me about anything, love. Me or Lena." Stef says, rubbing her hand on mine.
"No. I can't because then I'll have to stop. I can't stop. I can't." I admit, my voice cracking.
There's something about Stef and Lena that make me crack. Something about them that makes me want to let down my walls and tell them everything.
It's a blessing and a curse.
"Why can't you?" Stef asks.
"The smaller I am the closer I am to disappearing. If I disappear then he can't get to me. He can't hurt me. No one can." I say, not looking her in the face.
I'm about to loose it.
The floodgates are about to burst.
"Love..." Stef begins, and that's when it happens.
I look at Stef, and the somehow un-shed tears fall, and there's nothing I can do.
Stef grabs my hand with both of hers.
"He won't get to you ever again, you hear me? He can't hurt you, and I won't let anyone else hurt you. Disappearing is not the answer. Don't let him win, my love. There's more for you out there, I promise. Life is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Don't give up on it just yet. It's going to turn around for you, but you have to let us help you, let us in." Stef says, squeezing my hands.
All I can do is nod. My head is done creating sentences. Words, even.
"Just promise me that you'll try. That's all I ask of you, okay?" Stef asks, causing me to look over at her again.
"I'll try." I assure.
I hope that I don't let her down.
I hope I don't let Jude down.
I hope I don't let anyone down.
"Come here." Stef says, opening her arms.
I sit up and allow myself into her embrace.
I feel so safe, a feeling I haven't had in so long.
My arms are limp on Stef's back, but Stef's grip is strong and comforting.
We pull apart, and Stef wipes the strands of hair off my face and kisses my forehead. Soon enough, Lena and Jude return with the food.
It's overwhelming, but Stef grabs my hand and I do what I said. I try.
As always, thank you for reading!