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I'd decided that I needed some time away from Scorpius...to think. That was a lame excuse, I just couldn't look him in the eyes any more without getting that funny feeling and it was starting to interfere with my day to day life so I ran in the opposite direction whenever I saw him coming. Scorpius and Al were closer than ever which meant that if I wanted to see Al, I would have to face Scorpius too and since I may or may not have a tiny little crush on him, splitting my time between Dom and Lily was a much better option and I'd even taken to sitting with Hannah and Alice in classes. I just don't deal with feelings very well, unless they are ones of hatred towards James of course, those I can deal with. Every situation in my life I like to have control over, hell, I even chose my own Hogwart's house and I guess I don't react well when I lose that control. Huh, I guess I'm a bit of a control freak. Hugo was right.
Lily, Isabella and I had taken up Dom's offer on having a sleepover in her dorm; we'd gotten snacks from the house elves in the kitchen and were sipping on hot chocolate topped with the most delicious marshmallows. I didn't need boys, I was content and happy here with just girls – maybe I could live a Scorpius and Al (and most definitely James) free existence.
"How's Lysander?" Isabella asked Lily– the two were as cute as ever and I'd gotten to know the Scamander twin much better. Lysander was a very sweet boy who obviously cared a lot for my baby cousin.
"He's great" Lily grinned at the mention of her boyfriend. "How's Stephen, Dom? Still pretending that you're not dating?"
"I don't know what you're talking about" the blonde swished her hair and examined her nails, the way she always did when she was avoiding answering something she didn't want to. Dominique's and Stephen's 'relationship' had become much more of an actual relationship than a fake relationship recently – they paraded around the castle holding hands, whispering to each other in the common room and generally being rather...sweet? In a twisted kind of way.
"Yes you do" Isabella teased her friend, raising her eyebrows. "You know you like him."
"You like like him Dom" Lily said giggling.
"And so what if I do?" Dom spoke quickly with the tinge of a French accent creeping in her voice.
"He likes you too" I told her – there wasn't a boy in the castle that wasn't related to her that didn't like her.
"Stephen likes Lydia" Dom was quiet now...sad, almost? I never thought I'd see the day that Dominique Weasley was upset by a boy. Maybe the world is ending. "I'm just something to make her jealous."
"You're much more than that" Isabella smiled "I don't think he even cares about her any more, you do see the way he looks at you, don't you?"
"Maybe he's a really good actor" No-one could act that well. "Why would he like me? No boy ever sticks around with Dominique Weasley, I'm just something for them to play with and then drop when they realise they don't want to take me home to mummy and daddy."
That's why she drops them – before they have the chance to drop her. Why had I never realised before? Dom isn't heartless...she's scared. Scared that people only like her for how she looks and not who she is.
"Do you really like him?" Lily asked, all eyes on the blonde girl with her head in her hands, none of us really knowing what to do or say.
"I think so" Dom raised her head, tears decorating her normally flawless complexion, mascara streaked down her face. It was unsettling to see my normally so strong cousin so vulnerable and hurt; if Dominique was able to be broken then anybody was.
"Tell him." said Lily softly.
"I can't. What we have now is better than nothing." I felt the pain in Dom's voice, my heart aching for her...how had the most loveless relationship Hogwarts had ever seen turned into this?
"But Dom, how will you know how he really feels if you never ask? I spent a long time liking Lysander and telling him was the scariest and best thing I have ever done.". There was only one way Dom was going to know the truth but what if that truth hurt more than what she was feeling now?
"It's different with us Lily. It's complicated." Dom said, her voice breaking.
"It is" Isabella agreed. "But for what it's worth, I think he probably feels the same way."
"How do you know?" Dom sniffed.
"When was the last time he even mentioned Lydia?" Dom shrugged her shoulders at her friend. "Exactly. Stephen might not be crying about it in his dorm room to Albus but he's probably thinking the exact same thing as you. Tell him, Dom."
"I can't." she stuttered "Not yet."
"Whenever you're ready." I reassured her – it would do nobody good to rush her into something that she wasn't ready to do. The conversation drifted away from Stephen and Dom when it was clear to everybody in the room that she wanted nothing more to be said about the two of them. I was sure that was the most bare Dom had ever laid herself to anybody (in the metaphorical sense, of course) before.
"So Rosie, you gonna tell us why you're avoiding Al?" Lily smirked.
"I'm not avoiding Albus." That was true – for the most part anyway, it was Scorpius I was avoiding.
"You so are" Dom had brightened up in the past half hour, probably to do with the amount of chocolate she'd demolished. "This is like 4th year all over again."
"It is nothing like 4th year, in 4th year Albus was the one avoiding me" Come to think about it, that was Scorpius' fault too.
"If you aren't avoiding him then why do you run away at the mere mention of his name?" Lily questioned.
"I do not run away fr-" I began before being interrupted by Isabella.
"Yes you do, you ran past me this morning actually." Oh. Well, yes I may have had a close shave in a quiet corridor with Al and Scorpius this morning which left me sprinting out into the grounds to seek refuge with Hagrid.
"I was in a rush." I lied.
"You're impossible Rose." Lily huffed. "And a stinking liar."
I wasn't ready to tell them the real reason as to why I couldn't bear to spend time with my cousin and his friend. Quite frankly, I didn't really have a plausible explanation that extended beyond "Oh, I might fancy Scorpius but I'm not really sure because I've never really fancied anyone before. Ah and yes he gives me a funny feeling in my tummy. Think they might be butterflies. Brilliant."- why did I have a horrible tendency to run away from boys? It is really getting ridiculous.
"Rose Weasley don't you dare run away" Oh crap. Crappy crap crap. Albus.
"Albus." I spun on my heel smiling brightly at my cousin – we were in too close proximity to pretend that I hadn't heard him. Outside of classes I had managed to avoid Al and Scorpius for a good month, it was really an achievement.
"What exactly is your problem?" Al sidled up next to me as I begun to speed walk.
"Problem?" Where to begin, I thought. "Absolutely no problem."
"Rose." Al grabbed by arm tight, pulling me to the side of the corridor. Oh, he was angry. Very angry. "You better tell me right now what is going on or I swear to Merlin I will never ever forgive you."
"Yes you will." I tested – okay maybe not the best idea Rose, he looks scarier than Dad does when Mum makes him a salad for dinner.
"Rose." Albus said sternly.
"Albus." I sighed, wanting desperately to tell my best friend everything. "It's nothing."
"It's obviously something. Nothing doesn't make you act like this." The something is that you're always with Scorpius and there's the little problem in that I can't look at him without well, I don't know what.
"I don't know Albus." I answered honestly. I didn't know. I didn't know anything anymore.
"That's great Rose, just great." said Albus harshly. "Nice knowing you."
A/N...reviews make me write faster! ;)