A/N: Ayyeee look who's back after 2 years of not updating. Whoops! I didn't know time could fly by so quickly. I haven't actually been keeping tabs on this story for the last 2 years but recently I looked at it and I was shocked to see all reviews of continuing this story. I'm actually super flattered that so many people have indulge their time with my story and I can't begin to say how thankful I am for all the love. Since it's been a while I had to refresh myself with the context of my story and gosh I am kind of embarassed after reading it. Hopefully this chapter gives a smooth transition from the last chapter but anyways enjoy!

Chapter 10- Primrose

The only air I need is you but if you're not here with me, all I can do is suffocate.

The clanking sounds of bottles echoed through the night as Yokozawa walked down the familiar streets towards Takano's apartments. The breathless night and his thoughts kept him company as he travelled alone. For the last couple of months all he could think about was Onodera's revelation and the suffering that came with it for both parties. Add to that, the utter devastation on Takano's face when he first heard the news about Onodera's resignation will forever be engraved into Yokozawa's mind. Everyone that was present will never forget how the death of a man's heart looked.

What was even more infuriating was the fact he couldn't even blame Onodera for his actions because he understands. In fact, he's probably the only one that understands Onodera the best because he loved Takano too. It is exactly why he knew that Onodera was wrong. Why deny a person's love when you love them too? Happiness will always be fleeting. The only difference with Onodera and Takano's happiness will be time. But wouldn't it be better to experience a short-term happiness than never experiencing it at all?

The soft vibration in Yokozawa's pocket brought him out of his stupor. Pulling out his phone, an unknown number appeared on his phone.

"Yokozawa speaking," answered Yokozawa.

It was strange for anyone to be calling him so late at night but the voice on the other line made him forget any sort of suspicion.

"It's been awhile Yokozawa-san." The soft jingle of the voice replied.

"Onodera!?"

Entering into his former apartment complex, Onodera Ritsu made his way up to his floor where two familiar doors stood beside one another. Passing by the door he wished he could be living in with a certain somebody, he pulled out a key and entered into his apartment room.

The nostalgia of which Ritsu was able to live freely came back to him at the sight of the familiar setting. Even though his belongings were no longer occupying the space in the room, his parents still kept paying the rent, believing that one day he will be able to return to it; permanently. And as he knew, as much as he didn't want to, not all wishes can come true. But it never hurt to dream. Well at least for those who were able to.

Exploring the complex, he found that someone had cleaned up the place. It no longer had items lying about; rather Ritsu could actually see the floor for the first time since he first moved in. Even his couch was no longer piled with dirty clothes or manuscripts. Quickly scanning the place, he was surprised to see that his bed was still there and for once was properly made.

"It's been so long," he said with a small smile, "I'm home."

So lost in his thoughts that he could not help but jump at the voice spoken behind him. The same voice that made sure to haunt him, to taunt him, as if his broken heart wasn't enough. The very voice in which he wanted to protect from sounding...just like that.

"This apartment is not for sale." The voice said. Shivers ran down Ritsu's back as he realized that underneath the annoyance and stringent of the man's tone, it carelessly exposed the vacancy of emotions a human should not carry when they spoke. To hear such an empty sound was enough to stir the inner turmoil Ritsu held.

Takano-san. Turning slightly, still keeping his face from Takano's point of view, he saw from the corner of his eye the man speaking behind him. He could barely make out any specific details but Ritsu knew, more than anyone, it was the very man he left behind.

"Sir, I'd advise you to get off this property right now. I don't know how you got in and I don't want to know but this complex shouldn't be for sale." Takano explained fluently as if this wasn't the first time someone entered.

Although he was listening, he really wasn't listening. Just that the emptiness occupying in his heart was being filled after neglecting his longing for his voice. His voice that caressed him on the nights when he was alone- so alone- that he would imagine that voice whispering against his air; warm breath of another living being comforting him in the darkness, reading one of those happily-ever-after books like he did in the past. Happily reciting beautiful words that seemed too good to be true. And most importantly reciting that one word the made his whole body shiver involuntarily.

Ritsu.

"Look. I'm watching over this place until its owner return, so leave." Not realizing that he was moving towards him, it came as a shock when he jerked Ritsu around to face him. At that moment three things happen: emeralds met hazel. Hazel met emeralds. Then nothing but silence.

Both men were taking their fill at the sight in front of them. Words caught in their throats, nothing was exchanged but the language communicating through their eyes. As Takano realized who was in front of him, who he was touching, he couldn't but help let out a quiet choke of a word that Ritsu barely caught.

"...Ritsu?"

And as much as Takano seemed to believe that he no longer had emotions, the inner turmoil registering in his heart could barely contain the longing, the happiness, the love, or the relief he was experiencing. All rushing back because of the man standing before him. He himself didn't even know what he was asking. To reassure himself of the existence of the owner of those wonderful emerald eyes was not a hallucination? To realize that he has finally gone crazy? There were so many questions running through his head that he didn't know which one he wanted Ritsu to answer. And due to his blur of emotions, he could only ask:

"Why?"

Why did you return?

Why didn't you say goodbye to me?

Why did you leave me again?

A start to all the questions he wanted to ask his love in front of him but never had the chance to find the end with answers. So preoccupied with his questions, it didn't register the close proximity between him and the younger man. In fact so, that it came to a surprise when he felt a pair of soft lips land upon his own. Looking down, he could see that the pair of eyes he love were hidden behind fluttering covers. Takano soon followed the example set before him, slowly closing his eyelids shut. To just feel. It lasted for only a moment. And in those few seconds, after that moment ended, so many things happened. When Takano no longer felt the soft pressure of delicate skin upon his, he opened his eyes to be greeted by the sage eyes that have always been engraved in his mind.

"What happened to you?" The younger man whispered as he trailed his fingers across Takano's cheek.

"He's been a dead man without you Onodera." Yokozawa sighed. Even without seeing him, Onodera could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"These last couple of years, the only time I ever felt alive was when I was with Takano," Onoders began, "but I don't want him to suffer because of my selfishness. Once I'm gone-"

"Please." Yokozawa's broken cry pleaded. "If not for your selfishness, do it for him. I'm begging you."

Suddenly he jerked back in surprise as if he couldn't believe what he had just done. Takano could already see it; Ritsu was going to make a run for it. And with no time to think he grabbed Ritsu by the wrist and pinned him against the bed behind him. A quiet yelp and the soft thud of two bodies falling on to the mattress before them, Ritsu found he had lost any chance of escape.

The scrutiny of the older man's gaze above him, nerved him to a certain degree. To be gazed upon by the man you love, anyone would feel uncomfortable in Ritsu's shoes. So, as if to escape those eyes bearing into his own, he looked away hoping to somewhat escape. But to no avail his eyes were guided back with a gentle movement of his chin by the forefinger and thumb of the man pinning him.

"You know... I told myself I would never forgive you if you just ran off on your own again." A lick to his collar.

"But I...I'm even more scared-" a rush of hot air against his ear, "Of never being able to see you again."

A pause. To hold back the tremble in his own voice, Takano reassured himself that he was real; that the man with mesmerizing green eyes, tresses of the most softest brunette locks, and flawless ivory skin was here. That this man before him wasn't just going to disappear before him like some apparition because he couldn't even believe that a man that could manipulate his feelings like he did could ever exist. And he wouldn't let him get away a third time.

He closed his eyes. A breathe. "You don't have a damn clue how I felt these last 3 months. Even more so than those long 10 years. To know that I had you, determined to never let you go again, to just have you leave me again. So easily, and I couldn't even stop you. You have no damn clue how I felt!"

Reopening them to see that his love was still there, lying under him, he leaned down. Running his hand over Ritsu's face, he made sure to etch every single detail that had change the last time he saw the younger man.

"I never, ever, want to go through that again."

A moan echoed throughout the room as Onodera blossomed under Takano's touch on his bare skin. At some point, both their clothes had came off and Onodera was succumbing to the gentle yet passionate touches of the man above him. The feeling of Takano's hand tracing over his stomach gave him butterflies as he ventured lower and lower until he reached the erect penis dripping with pre-cum as it begged for attention.

"T-takano..." Onodera jolted as he felt Takano grasp his length in a tight grip.

His entire body was shaking as Takano conducted his body to play for him. Soft moans and eager whimpers escaped his lips only to be silenced by the hot mouth against his. He could feel Takano's tongue press against his, as the foreign object invaded his senses. As it moved in his mouth, a small cry escaped him as their tongues intermingle. Takano dominated as he pressed harder as if seeking for something, only to ease off, guiding Onodera's tongue to the outside world. Pulling away, Takano observed the beautiful mess he created before him: hooded emeralds flattered by brown strands sticking against his face, Onodera's tongue hanging out of his mouth as a string of salvia secretly escape the corners of his lips. With hazed eyes, Onodera followed his movements as Takano's other hand that wasn't preoccupied with his penis slowly collected the salvia from the corner of his mouth, returning it to its origin. With his forefinger and thumb, Takano took hold of the hanging tongue before him conjuring the wonders it could do to please him.

With erotic elegance of a sex god, he presented Onodera with three fingers in which he eagerly accepted. He watched from above the way that tiny little pink mouth engulfed his fingers knuckle deep, feeling the way they swirled against that perky little tongue. At this point, the pleasure Takano was giving him rendered any thoughts from formulating in Onodera's mind. He didn't even realize how lewd he look; on his knees as both his hands grasped onto Takano's as he sucked his fingers off, saliva freely escaping from his mouth as he moistened the objects inside him. Takano was leaning against the bedframe watching all his obscene actions, turning him even more on.

A small whimper escaped his lips as he felt both of Takano's hands leave his body, feeling empty from the loss. He looked down to see that he was fully erect only to feel Takano gently guide his head down to stare at the other's length. Without any exchange of words, he slowly inhaled the others penis into his mouth. Swirling his tongue, he was rewarded the soft growl from the man above him. Without taking his mouth off Takano's length, Onodera looked up to see the obvious pleasure sprawled on the face of his beloved senpai.

Distracted by the erotic elegance of the man before him, Onodera failed to realize Takano's salvia covered fingers circling his entrance. A moan escaped his lips as he felt a finger slip into him. Pressing against the walls of his rectum, Onodera couldn't but moan against Takano's length. In seconds, he found his mouth suddenly empty as he was flipped over, his legs sprawled on either side of his superior.

"Say you love me." He could feel Takano's breath against his ear as his tongue slowly played with it.

I love you.

"Say it!" Two fingers were now in his hole.

You're the only one.

"Say it..." A third had slipped in to join its' companions.

I love y-

"I love you."

The green eyed man widen at the statement, thinking he accidentally said his thoughts aloud, only to realize that Takano's lips were moving. He felt a soft kiss on his lips before he felt the fingers withdraw from his hole.

"I love you Ritsu." Takano whispered as he entered the man under him.

A single tear was his reply.

11-01-2008

Dear Takano-san:

Do you remember the first time we met? It was so simple and yet it left such a huge impression to me because that was the first time I met the love of my life. Back then I thought I could be happy by your side in a small apartment, until the day we both die of old age. But that's not the case, is it? We both live in a small apartment but not together. We will die but I will die before you. I know you love me, I mean what kind of idiot loves someone for more than ten years? But I can't return your love even though you're the most important person to me. To give you a dream and turn it into a nightmare, I could never do that to you. That's why never forgive me for giving you and your heart pain because that may be the only medicine I can give you for when I'm gone.

No matter what happens, I love you.

Sincerely,

Onodera Ritsu

I'll try my best to finish this story as it is almost done as there is about 2-3 more chapters to go. If you guys haven't figured it out, I'm kind of a sadist; making people believe I abandon my stories and then randomly updating. But again thank you guys so much for everything and hopefully I'll see you soon!