chapter 10 swedish
"so how does this tournemant work than lol?" red asked verlis. "u seem 2 know the most about them."
"yeah i never bother with tournaments" brendan added. "why bother going when i can already be the best player in the world without ever leaving my house thanks 2 the ladder!"
"basicaly the first round is called the swedish round" verlis exclaimed. "u fight agenst other trainers in double battles in single games and if u have enough wins by the end u go 2 the next round."
"oh thats good" sayed brendan. "best of 1 is my favorite. i hate it when i beat people with my metronome fissure team then they try 2 get a rematch. i just say 'gg scrub' and walk away laffing."
"but the actule finals r best of 3 right?" asked lillie.
"yes" sayed verlis.
"wtf thats so gay" brendan complaned. "how am i suposed to catch people off guard with my random movesets now?"
they went into the tournament and began playing the swedish rounds. the two vgc cheaters wolfe and ray won there first games easy. so did red, lillie and verlis. brendan dodged a near loss to a 5 year old kid after his metronome landed a lucky punishment against his opponents +6 azumarill.
"charizard use fire blast!" red comanded.
"zapdos use discharge!" lillie explaimed.
"wailord use heavy slam!" verlis inovated.
"CONKELDURR USE V-CREATE YEAAAAAAAHHHH!" ray cheated.
"judge disqualify my opponent!" wolfe insisted.
"wtf how did i lose already!" brendan groaned. "my opponent didnt even take a turn yet!"
"what did you think was going 2 happen if u had both ur pokemon use selfdestruct with a 2 pokemon team?" his opponent asked.
"i thinked it would kill all our pokemon and the judges would say i win since im the best and ur just a gay nerd."
the second round of swedish was over and everyone was 2-0 except brendan who was 1-1 now.
"brendan try not 2 lose again" red warned him. "since wolfe and ray mowed down half the people signing up for the tournament there will probly only b like 5 rounds of swedish. if u get 2 losses i doubt u can make it 2 the finals. at least use 4 pokemon and not just 2 lol."
"damn ur right" brendan sayed. "i wont lose the next game lol."
brendans opponent opened with landorus t and scrafty.
"landorus t? more like landorus zzzzz" brendan laffed. "let me show u what a real pokemon looks like kid. go farfetch'd! go clefable!"
"haha my landorus t' and my scrafty's intimidate lowers your attack by 2 stages you pathetic genwunner!" the manchild opponent sneered. "i only use superior pokemon from unova!" he tipped his fedora while making his boast. "i bet you think a pokeball with eyes is a good design you insufferable plebeian! you lack the taste to properly comprehend the near-shakespearian genius of balck and whites complex narrative!"
"oh yeah well ur gay!" brendan retorted. "farfetch'd use first impression! clefable use metronome!"
farfetch'd slash landed a crit on scrafty and the metronome became blizzard and killed lando-t while finishing off the weakened the scrafty.
"haha what a cuck!" brendan laffed as the unovabortion pulled his fedora down over his eyes in shame and ran away crying.
red, verlis and wolfe also won there games. lillie and ray actually had to face each other though. before the match began ray took out a machine gun and began using it to spray steroid needles at his own body.
"OH YEAH NOW I'M FUCKING PUUUUMMPPPEDD! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST GAME EVER! IM GOING TO CHEAT HARDER AND HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE HAHAHAHAHA!"
"uh judge he literally just admitted hes going to cheat" lillie sayed. "cant u ban him?"
the judge just made a snoring noise as he slumped over at his chair. sighing lillie sent out her first 2 pokemon knowing she wasnt going to get any help.
"go alakazam! go articuno!"
"HAHAHAHA ONLY 2?!" ray laffed like a maniac. "IM GOING TO SEND OUT... ALL 6 OF MY POKEMON AT THE SAME TIME YEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!"
he threw out pokeballs containing conkeldurr, hydreigon, terrakion, gothitelle, escavalier and thundurus.
"wtf!" lillie explaimed. "if your going to use 6 pokemon i will to!"
"JUDGE WAKE YOUR BITCH ASS UP THIS GIRLS GOING TO CHEEEEAAAATTTTTTT!" ray roared.
this actually got a reaction out of the judge who told lillie that ray using 6 pokemon is fine since no one stopped him at the time he did it, but if she did it it would b cheating
"fine... alakazam use gravity" lillie sayed. "articuno use icy wind!"
"ALL MY POKEMON USE YOUR STRONGEST ATTACKS AT THE SAME TIME HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" ray ordered.
lillies mons were able to land there moves but they both got koed by rays onslaught of attacks.
"she only gets two more pokemon like normal... RIGHT JUDGE?!" ray inquisitioned.
"of course" the judge agreed.
"thats ok" lillie said as she glared at ray, taking off her bloodstained hat crushing it in her hand. "because i only need 1 more turn to knock out ALL of your pokemon! u destroyed my awesome hat and now im going to destroy YOUR LIFE!"
she sent out rhydon and blastoise.
"choice specs blastoise use water spout from full health! choice band rhydon use earthquake! oh and since all your pokemon have been taken down to the ground by gravity and have been slowed down by icy wind i can go first AND hit all of them at once! ur fuckin dead kiddo!"
"WTF WHY DIDNT THEY BAN PEOPLE FROM USING STRATEGYS?!" ray explaimed. "JUUUUUUUUDDDGDGGGGGEEEEEE!"
despite his crys of protest all his pokemon were knocked out in the earthquake and water spout and lillie was declared the winner. ray was 2-1 now like brendan and the two of them got paired up as opponents in the next match.
"ok this is good" red telled brendan. "if u can beat ray as well we can knock him out of the tournament before he even makes it 2 top cut. "i will talk 2 the judge first and make sure hes not allowed to use 6 mons."
"thanks lol" brendan sayed. "i think this is finaly my time to prove myself as worthy of been ur aprentice. this cheating asshole is going to lose to my farfetch'd inovation for sure."
"maybe dont use metronome tho" red suggested. "actualy no wait it will probably be even worse if u try to pick moves urself. use metronome as much as possible actuly."
"good idea" sayed brendan. "that way he has no way of predicting my moves lol."
brendan and ray had there battle. ray sent out conkeldurr and thundurus. brendan sent out charizard and exeggutor.
"YOU CANT WIN FAAAAAGGGGGGG!" ray jeered. "WOLFE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THE BATTLES YOU LOST HAHAHA! FIRST TO RED, THEN TO N, THEN TO RED AND VERLIS, THEN TO LILLIE, THEN TO SMOGON AND NOW TO MEEEEEEEE! YOU ARE BASICALY THE YAMCHA OF THIS STORY YOU CUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!"
"oh yeah well your just a troll" sayed brendan. "charizard use..."
"LALALALALA YOUR CHARIZARD CANT HEAR YOU LALALALALA!" ray shouted when brendan was trying to say his move.
"charizard use..."
"LALALALALALA! BRENDAN IS GAY! LALALALALA!"
because brendans pokemon couldnt hear him they couldnt attack and got taken out by thundurus' bolt strike and conkeldurr's v-create. gritting his white hair brendan sent out clefable and farfetchd.
"heres a megaphone to shout your moves with" verlis sayed throwing a megaphone to brendan.
"thanks bro im sure i can get him now" brendan smiled.
"HAHAHAHA FARFETCHD IS GAY AND DUMB JUST LIKE YOUR MOOOOOOOOMMM!" ray mocked. "IM NOT EVEN GOING 2 WASTE MY TIME ATTACKING THAT PEACE OF SHIT! USE CLOSE COMBAT AND FUSION BOLT TO KILL CLEFABLE YEEEAAAAHHHHH!"
"i knewed u would think farfetchd is shit and not evan attack it" brendan telled him. "so i made my clefable use protect and my farfetchd use brave bird on your cuckeldumb!"
"FUUUUCCCCCCKKKK!" ray roared as his mon got knocked out by the brave bird. "GO GOTHITELLE KILL THIS FAAGG! USE DARK VOOOOOOID! THUNDURUS USE FUSION BOLT! HIS CLEFABLE CANT PROTECT ANYMORE!"
"farfetchd use protect" brendan responded. "clefable use explosion"
clefable nearly died from thundurus but then blew up and allah snackbar'd all the mons on the field expect farfetch'd. now ray and brendan only had 1 mon left each.
"wtf when did brendan actuly get good at pokemon lol" red laffed.
"i watched a verlisify video and learned his secrets" brendan smiled.
"nice good work! now u can beat gay jizzo and finaly earn ur dignity!"
"yeah lol"
"THERES NOTHING U CAN DO NERD!" ray laffed. "MY LAST POKEMON IS HYDREIGON! AND ITS MORE THAN STRONG AND FAST ENOUGH TO KILL YOUR FAGFETCHD IN 1 HIT! U USED PROTECT LAST TURN AS WELL SO U CANT SURVIVE! EVEN IF U SOMEHOW LIVE NOTHING THAT SHIT BIRD HAS CAN KILL HYDREIGON IN 1 HIT! UR FINISHED!"
"thats what u think" brendan smiled. "i gave my farfetchd a set so powerful it will survive hydreigon AND kill it in one hit!"
BRING IT CUUUUCCCCKKK! HYDREIGON USE DRACO METEOR!"
"farfetchd use your focus sash to survive. then attack with acrobatics since your sash is destroyed!"
ray beginned to panic as he realised brendan really had a plan. his farfetchd lept into the air and unsheathed his leek like a generic anime swordsman diving down at the hydreigon. the farfetchd swung his leek in a single clean blow at the hydreigons middle head and landed putting his leek back in the sheath and expecting the hydreigon to colapse with its head falling off.
but it didnt.
"HAHAHAH UR SHITTY BIRD FAILED!" ray laffed. "HYDREIGON FINISH IT OFF WITH DARK PULSE!"
"oh no i lost" sayed brendan. "jk lol. farfetchd use quick attack!"
and it did and hydreigon died.