Chapter 10
Quinn sat on Rachel's couch, zoned out while Kurt and Rachel chitchatted about who only knows what. She swirled the red liquid around in her wine glass and let out a breath. It was Saturday night, she had been looking forward to a night in with friends all week after working her ass off. But once she wasn't distracted by law information her mind slipped into things she was trying to avoid for the past several weeks and with the wine settling nicely into her system and being among friends she finally just blurted out what was on her mind.
"I think I'm going to break up with Ava."
Rachel and Kurt finally stopped speaking slowly turning to look at her.
"Thank goodness." Kurt quietly mumbled.
"Kurt!" Rachel gasped, swatting his arm and turning to offer Quinn a look of sympathy.
Quinn smirked, lazily turning her head to face the two of them, Kurt's reaction strangely making her feel less guilty about her decision.
"Sorry, Quinn, she's boring." Kurt spoke up, "I just think you can do way better."
"Thank you." Quinn quietly replied.
"I thought you were happy?" Rachel wondered, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Quinn's knee, giving it a squeeze.
"I was kind of faking it." Quinn truthfully answered, "It was alright at the start. I tried...I really tried, but every time we hung out I just-"She paused and shook her head with a sigh, her eyes going between Kurt and Rachel who waited for her to elaborate, so after draining the rest of the alcohol from her glass, she confessed to the major reason for wanting the breakup, "I keep comparing her to Santana."
"When I said you could do better, Santana wasn't exactly the person who popped into my mind." Kurt replied with wide eyes.
"I know!" Quinn said as she stood up, running her fingers through her hair, frustrated with her own feelings, "It's stupid, but you guys. It's Santana, she was such a bitch in high school, and yeah she still can be one, but don't you find her more caring and sweet and sexy-"
"I'm going to stop you at sexy." Kurt awkwardly laughed. "I do admit she's more caring though."
Quinn rolled her eyes, beginning to pace in front of them, "It's not like these feelings just happened. 's wedding was one of the best most satisfying nights of my life and I wanted to talk to her about it, but we both just wrote it off as me being experimental and then I was busy with university and then she was dating Dani and I kind of just kept to myself hoping maybe we'd somehow have another hook up and then-"
Kurt suddenly gasped, grabbing Rachel's hand his eyes wide, his reaction causing Quinn to stop and slowly turn to him.
"Kurt, what?" Rachel asked, her eyes going from Quinn and then back to Kurt, wondering what she could have possibly missed.
"That's why you didn't go to the wedding!?" Kurt declared. "You've been in love with Santana since your valentine's day hook up!"
It was Rachel's turn to gasp and when she turned to face Quinn her face was showcasing nothing but guilt.
"It wasn't love at that time, but my feelings were strong." Quinn admitted, "Plus I was busy with school." She quietly said, but the look Kurt was giving her had her confessing to more, "Well okay, maybe the thought of watching Santana marrying Britt made me feel nauseous. I even had a letter I was going to send to her when I declined the RSVP, but I chickened out, it was Brittany and Santana, Santana was in love. But look how that turned out-"
"Then they divorced and all those old feelings came back." Kurt nodded as he clasped his hands together, suddenly giddy about this new information and mostly happy that he figured it out.
"Yeah, they came back times a million. And they keep on overwhelming me." Quinn muttered, "Which is why...I've been working so hard lately. I'm going to London for work."
"You're moving to London!?" Rachel shouted.
"I'm not moving there." Quinn clarified, "We're opening up a firm over there and they need help. I was picked to go. It'll just be for a month, but I figured it'd be good to get away from Santana and Ava and just be on my own again."
"Oh no, Quinn. Don't shut us out. You always run or turn all broody when things don't go your way." Rachel honestly pointed out.
"Rachel, I can't watch Santana be with other girls right now. It hurts." Quinn whispered. "Knowing she's with Dani right now. Ugh... I want to punch Dani out and she's like the nicest person I ever met." Quinn said with aggravation, "Like back in high school she was just Santana, this hot bitch I used to compete against. Then slowly she became Santana can I lick your abs Lopez."
Kurt's hands shot up to his ears, wincing slightly, "I'm not sure I'll be able to get used to you talking about her like that."
"Sorry." Quinn smiled with a shrug. "But not only that, she's always making sure I'm okay like she makes me feel safe and protected, and she's hilarious and you guys she's scared of rats and it was so fucking cute because she needed me that day and she let me be there for her and ugh...I just... I don't know what to do."
Rachel nodded and stood up, walking over to take both of her hands, "Just don't come back with pink hair." She teased and Quinn playfully rolled her eyes.
"I kind of enjoyed that look." Kurt said with a raise of his hand, him too standing and walking over to wrap an arm around Quinn's shoulders, "But I get it, if you need to get away for a bit."
"I do." Quinn whispered.
"More wine?" Kurt suggested, pulling away to head to the kitchen, "Because I think I'm starting to like the thought of a Santana and Quinn relationship. You two would rule New York City."
"Yes please." Quinn nodded.
Rachel looked up at her, giving her hands a squeeze, "I'm sorry, Quinn. I thought when you met Ava your feelings weren't as strong."
"I was hoping for that." Quinn weakly smiled pulling away to happily grab her newly refreshed glass of wine from Kurt. "I didn't work."
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It was a rainy day and Ava and Quinn ran to the restaurant door, trying to stay as dry as they could. Quinn rolled her eyes as Ava opened the door and slid inside first, not even looking back to see if Quinn had made it in, while all Quinn could think about was how Santana would have made sure Quinn was inside the building first and probably would have offered her, her coat, even if Quinn actually had her own one this time.
"So you actually helped her out of her lease?" Ava asked as they followed the waiter over to their table for two.
"Well yeah." Quinn said surprised Ava was evening questioning her.
"She signed the papers though."
Quinn took a seat across from her, squinting in her direction, "Did you miss the part where he lied to her and sent her false information? The place was a shithole I wouldn't let my worst enemy live there."
"But she signed the papers."
Quinn huffed and rolled her eyes, happy things started out this way, because it was going to make things much easier. She was going to wait until after dinner, but as the waiter approached to take their drink order, Quinn held up her hand and politely waved him off.
"Listen..." Quinn began, not even taking her coat off.
Ava clenched her jaw, sensing where this was going.
"I can't do this anymore." Quinn said, "It's not fair to either of us."
"Is it Santana?"
Quinn sat back, wondering if it was that obvious, and yeah there was a huge part that this was about Santana, but also really, she didn't click with Ava at all. It wasn't worth it to fake it anymore. Being with someone just for the sake of being with someone was dumb, and it wasn't fair to use Ava to try and forget about Santana, especially when it wasn't even working and doing the complete opposite.
"Mostly work." Quinn said, "They want me to go to London for a month, so..."
"Long distance?"
Quinn sighed, being blunt would just have to be the way, "Honestly, we don't click. I'm not happy and... Yeah, Santana is a big reason why."
Ava pursed her lips, but nodded, "Ouch."
"I'm sorry." Quinn quietly said as she stood up, just wanting to be anywhere but there, "I'm sorry I wasted your time... our time."
"I'm sorry too." Ava replied.
Quinn bit her lip, watching her for a few seconds, not sure what else to say, so she finally just turned and quickly left the building, the rain not even a bother as it poured down on her, feeling a sudden sense of freedom, one she felt back when she was living in Boston without all the emotions and feelings, a time when she only really had to think about herself, feelings that now had her contemplating if she should ask for a transfer to move back to Boston.
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"So Quinn was over the other night..." Santana began as her and Dani lay in bed, Dani savouring the aftermath of their round two, while Santana seemed to be extra chatty tonight. Dani smiled and rolled her eyes when Quinn was mentioned again and instead of interrupting her she relaxed into her mattress and allowed Santana to speak, "She and Rachel were cooking, because they owed me dinner, that's another story..." Santana smirked turning her head to see if Dani was listening and when she saw that she was she carried on, "So Q's a terrible cook and while Rachel was blabbing on about what to do, Quinn was just making all these cute faces at her." Santana actually giggled just by the memory, it causing Dani to lightly laugh.
Dani reached out, resting her hand on her bicep, "Quinn can't cook huh? She seems like someone who could pick up on anything fairly quickly."
"Not cooking." Santana said with a shake of her head, her eyebrows coming together with thought, "I think it's because she doesn't like doing it, so she doesn't care to learn. Because you're right, she probably could do it if she tried, Quinn's smart like that." she turned on her side, facing Dani with a quirky smile, "Did I tell you she got me out of my apartment lease? Even after I signed."
Dani smirked, "Yes, she rescued you from the rats and everything."
"It was so sexy, her being all lawyer like." Santana smiled and let out a small breath, that last part supposed to be in her head, but obviously she didn't notice and instead she leaned forward to crash her lips into Dani's, rolling herself on top.
"Santana." Dani mumbled into the kiss, pushing at her shoulders.
"What?" Santana asked, pulling away to look at her.
Dani rolled her eyes, "Not that I mind spending the night with you, but you just gushed about Quinn for the last five minutes. I can't help but wonder if you're going to be thinking about her while we have sex." She gently rolled Santana off of her, "You've been talking about her all night actually. At the movies, Quinn doesn't like extra butter on her popcorn because it makes it soggy, but she does like mixing her M&Ms in with the popcorn because she likes sweet and salty. Quinn prefers red wine over white. I could go on and on. I could probably write her a dating profile and you know who would click on it?"
"Who?"
"You!" Dani said as she sat up and climbed out of bed, searching for her clothes.
"What?" Santana asked as she sat up as well, "I'm just making conversation."
"Santana I know you've been through a lot this past year and a half and maybe you're not being honest with yourself because on some level you're scared." Dani began, "But you have it bad for Quinn. And I know she likes you too." She shook her head as she tossed Santana's clothes at her, "So until you figure your shit out, I'm not doing this friends with benefits thing with you anymore."
Santana gasped, "Dani!"
"Santana." Dani sighed with a hand on her hip, "I'm going to be that person and kick you out. I think you still have a lot to figure out. You're sleeping on Rachel's couch and I almost wonder if you make excuses not to move so you can be close to Quinn who just ironically lives across the hall."
"She has a girlfriend though." Santana mumbled as she climbed off the bed to start pulling her clothes on, "This is stupid, you don't want to get all up on this?" She asked proudly showing off her nakedness in an attempt to getting it in one last time.
Dani stood there for a few good seconds, taking a mental picture of that perfectly delectable body, but somewhere in her she found her willpower and shook her head.
"Women are ridiculous." Santana muttered as she finally pulled her clothes on, "Wait till Rachel hears about this."
Dani lightly laughed with a shake of her head, "Santana, stop being cute about it."
"I'm not cute, I'm sexy."
"What if I dyed my hair blonde? Would that help?" Dani teased remembering long ago when another blonde stole her away the first time.
"I'm going!" Santana said with a snap of her fingers. "Bye." She waved and sauntered out the bedroom door. "You're missing out on some damn good sex, just saying!" She called out one last time before finally leaving the apartment.
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"I'm not into Quinn." Santana muttered to herself as she headed back to the apartment, "I mean she's hot and smart and funny and – okay Santana, stop it!" She scolded herself with a shake of her head, rounding the corner, letting out a breath as she came closer to the building, smiling to herself when she found Quinn sitting on the steps outside. "What is she doing?" She wondered, picking up her pace, her smile fading when she came to a stop in front of the suffering blonde, "Quinn? What're you doing?"
Quinn let out a slow and shaky breath, clutching one of her broken heels in her hand, while she tried to hide her face with the other, "Oh just enjoying the weather." She sarcastically answered.
"What's wrong?" Santana asked, crouching in front of her, trying to take a look at her face. "Quinn?"
"I fucking fell!" Quinn finally shouted, throwing her heel against the ground, the one responsible for breaking and causing her to slam her back hard against the stairs when she was leaving work.
Santana flinched, looking over her shoulder to where the heel landed and then back to Quinn who began sniffling.
"I'm supposed to be leaving for London in a few days. I've been busting my ass off for this opportunity and then a stupid freak accident throws my back out."
"London?" Santana questioned.
Quinn just shook her head, whimpering when a jolt of pain shot through her.
"Okay, okay." Santana nodded, "Let's go inside so you can lie down."
"It hurts to move." Quinn whispered.
"Okay, um." Santana paused and then carefully moved to sit behind her, and then began to cautiously massage her back, "Is this helping?"
Quinn sat quietly relaxing under Santana's touch, it helping a tiny bit, but she had to wonder if old injuries from her past car accident were suddenly triggered.
"Why don't we go to the emergency room?" Santana asked worried about the past accident as well, "You're job has to have coverage."
Quinn wiped a stray tear quickly from her eye, her hands shaking, unsure of what to do. "What if it's serious?"
"Then that is exactly the reason why we should go." Santana answered, "They can do more for you there than I can sitting on this step massaging you all night."
Quinn stayed silent, leaning back against Santana, digging her nails into her calves as the pain tormented her and thoughts of her having to use a wheelchair again flooded her mind. She was scared and in pain, but sitting in between Santana's legs somehow made this situation a little better. She gritted her teeth and then finally nodded, "Will you come with me?"
"Well duh." Santana answered.
"Give me a few minutes." Quinn softly said, trying to muster up some strength to stand up. When she finally did Santana was there to quickly help her, hailing a taxi and then the two were on their way to the hospital.
Several hours later, the two stood in the elevator, Quinn with her arms wrapped around Santana's waist, her head resting against her shoulder.
"I feel stupid." Quinn slurred, her pain medication starting to kick in. The doctor assuring her that it was nothing serious, but the pain she was feelings was in fact due to her history from the car accident.
Santana smiled, wrapping her arm around her shoulders as she guided them out onto their floor, "Better to be safe than sorry, especially with your past, Q. At least you know it's nothing serious and the doctor said it was good that you came in after reading over your history."
"I was just scared." Quinn mumbled stumbling a little as they reached her door, holding her keys out for Santana to take.
"Me too." Santana whispered, grabbing the keys and quickly unlocking the door and then hurrying to catch a falling over Quinn, "Okay how many pills did you take?"
"Enough."
"Uh huh." Santana nodded, finally just manoeuvring Quinn and picking her up bridal style, thanking all her gym time and kickboxing classes and Quinn for being healthily thin for making the move so easy "Let's get you to bed."
"Whoa." Quinn smiled, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck, "So strong..." she mused, resting her head against her shoulder, her eyes slipping shut, "You're always saving me, San..."
Santana smirked as she entered Quinn's bedroom, gently laying her on the bed, "I guess I could say the same for you." she said as she pulled the covers back and helped Quinn get situated, "Is there anything else you need?" She asked, "I don't want you to be by yourself, do you want me to call Ava?"
"No, no, we broke up."
"Oh." Santana said, as she sat on the edge of the bed, a sudden feeling of happiness washing over her, "Why? When? Why didn't you tell me?"
"The other day." Quinn whispered as she began to drift off, the last thing that unknowingly escaped her lips before she completely fell asleep being, "Because I'm in love with you, San."
Santana gasped and stood up, shaking her head with disbelief. She reached into her coat pocket, pulling the bottle of pills out, reading the label and then putting it on Quinn's nightstand, "It's the pills. She just took too many. She doesn't know what she's saying."
Santana paced around the room, her heart pounding and her mind going crazy, all while Quinn peacefully slept two feet from her. Finally she pulled her phone out and texted Rachel and after what seemed like an eternity the petite brunette entered Quinn's apartment.
"Santana?"
Santana quickly left Quinn's bedroom and entered the living area where Rachel stood.
"What happened?" Rachel asked with concern, it only worsening when she saw the sight of the wide eyed, troubled looking Santana, "Santana?!"
"Shhh! Quinn is sleeping..." Santana said, walking over and grabbing Rachel's shoulders, "Rachel..." She whimpered, "I...what the fuck!"
"What!?" Rachel asked, entirely confused by Santana's behaviour. "Santana, you're acting extremely unusual lately, can you climb off your high horse and use your words this time? You can't just keep using my body as comfort every time something happens and you don't want to talk about it." Rachel paused a moment, rethinking her choice of words, waiting for a wanky from Santana when all she meant was that Santana craved comfort in the form of cuddles and hugs, but when Santana just stood there frozen, not replying at all to the obvious sexual innuendo her worry spiked and she reached up to gently cup Santana's face in her hands, "Santana is Quinn alright? Are you alright?"
"Rachel..." Santana whispered, her shoulders slumping, her voice monotone as she explained, "Quinn hurt her back. She's on a bunch of pain killers."
"Oh, god." Rachel quietly breathed out, "She's supposed to leave for London in a few days." She said, sliding her hands to rest on Santana's shoulders.
"She's going to be fine." Santana blankly stated.
Rachel slowly nodded, still searching her eyes, "What else, Santana?"
"She said she was in love with me."
"Wha-what?"
Santana nodded and pulled away, running her fingers through her hair, "You knew about London?" she asked turning to face her, "And Ava?"
Rachel stood there, chewing her bottom lip out of guilt, slowly nodding. "I-I didn't think it was my place to say anything."
Santana only nodded as she walked up to Quinn's bedroom door, pausing and then turning around to walk back over to Rachel, an anxious vibe to her step, her voice shaky as she spoke, "Do you think she only said that because she's on pain meds?"
Rachel exhaled, the sound of it almost emitting defeat, "Santana..." she began as she fidgeted with her hands, unsure with how to handle this situation. It was Quinn's secret after all, a huge one, but she couldn't stand to see the confused and worried expression on Santana's face any longer either. Although before she answered Santana's question, a new revelation popped in her mind, causing her to voice her own wonderment, "Wait, is this why you've been so needy lately?"
"Huh?" Santana mumbled her eyebrows creasing with uncertainty and offence, "I don't get needy, Rach."
Rachel gave her a knowing look, but decided to wave it off, "Santana, are you struggling with your own feelings for Quinn? I thought you were with Dani tonight – every time I think you're with Dani, you're with Quinn."
"I was with Dani, but she kicked me out..." Santana trailed with a roll of her eyes and then nodded and quietly added, "Because I was talking about Quinn too much."
"Do you like her? Because if you do. I think you and Quinn have a lot to discuss." Rachel informed her, watching as Santana's uneasiness only increased, "Santana, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? Let your walls down and talk to me. Please."
Santana turned away from Rachel with a shake of her head, trying to make sense of her emotions and the ongoing struggle they were causing, coming to the conclusion that she was only making things worse by not letting them out. Plus Rachel was right, she had always been there for her, she didn't know why this situation had to be any different, so finally she turned back to face her, with tears in her eyes and whispered, "I'm scared."
Rachel slowly walked over to her, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, encouraging her to carry on.
"With Dani, it's just fun ya know. We get it on and it's a cliché no strings attached, no feelings kind of thing." Santana explained, "But with Quinn..." she tensed and moved over to sit on the edge of the couch, finding a particular spot on the wall and dazing out as she spoke, "With Quinn it's real. And she deserves nothing but the best, but I already had my chance with someone and look how that turned out. It broke me."
"So who says you can't try again?" Rachel quietly asked, coming over to sit on the coffee table in front of Santana, "Who decided that we only get one chance on love?"
Santana shrugged, quickly reaching up to wipe at her cheek when she felt a tear drop on it. "What if-"
"Stop thinking about the what ifs and just follow your heart." Rachel cut her off, reaching out to take her hand, "Quinn does deserve nothing but the best and so do you, Santana. And from what I've observed over the past year and a half I'd have to say I've never met two people more right for each other in all my life."
Santana lightly laughed with a shake of her head, "This is getting uncomfortably cheesy."
"I think you secretly enjoy it."
Santana sighed and finally stood up, her eyes falling on the bedroom door for a few seconds, "I need to go for a walk or something." She said as she started to back away towards the door, "You'll stay with her, right?"
"Of course." Rachel answered and stood up, "Please don't do anything drunkenly stupid."
"Sober thoughts." Santana promised with a smirk and then disappeared out the door.
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"So here's to Quinn's last night in New York!" Blaine smiled while holding up his drink, "Keep on kicking ass and climbing that corporate ladder. I don't know why you have to go to London for a month, but we're all proud of you."
"Cheers to that." Kurt smiled and the others raised their glasses and clinked them.
"Thanks you guys." Quinn smiled, "It's just a month. I'll be back before you know it. I'm starting to think you guys just like to celebrate things as an excuse to go out."
"This is something to be celebrated." Rachel smiled, nudging her in the side, "Let us rejoice in all of your hard work."
"I mean, if you insist." Quinn smirked, taking a long drink and then eyed Santana who was being unusually quiet. "Hey..." She said, waving her hand in Santana's face, "Where's Dani?"
Santana shrugged and leaned back against the chair, "She was busy."
Quinn slowly nodded, studying her demeanour, "Are you okay, Santana?"
Santana cleared her throat, finally mustering up a fake smile, "I'm fine. I'm actually about to go get another drink. I'm buying, you want one?"
"Yes, please." Quinn smiled.
Santana nodded and headed to the bar, Rachel closely following behind.
"So she doesn't remember?" Santana asked, turning to face Rachel after she put her order in to the bartender.
Rachel shook her head, "All she remembers is you carrying her to bed and falling asleep." She answered, watching as Santana took a shot and then washed it down with her new drink, "I think you should talk to her before she leaves instead of drinking over this."
"Liquid courage." Santana said.
"Santana, you're going to regret tonight if you don't say something." Rachel stated.
"It'll be fine." Santana assured as she made her way back over to the table, sliding Quinn her drink, but sitting next to Blaine.
A while later as the night carried on, Santana stumbled back from the bathroom, her eyes searching the bar until they narrowed in on a certain blonde who was talking to a few coworkers from her firm. Suddenly the alcohol in her system produced the guts she had been looking for and she marched over to her the best that she could, gently shoving Quinn's shoulder.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Santana demanded.
Quinn's expression showed one of surprise, turning to her coworkers and excusing herself, before turning her full attention to Santana, "Tell you what?"
"That you were going to London." Santana answered, "Or that you broke up with Ava – or that you... you..." She paused and shook her head not ready to bring up the love thing yet, "Why am I always the last one to know?"
"It was a last minute decision. You weren't around. Kurt and Rachel were."
"Hey, welcome to the new world, Quinn. We have phones where we can text and call. They've only been around for the last billion years."
"I'm sorry. I-I-" Quinn sighed, "You're right. I don't have an excuse."
"We need to be more open with each other." Santana said, leaning forward her arm resting against the wall behind Quinn's shoulder, reaching up to tuck a few pieces of stray hair behind Quinn's ear, "Ya know, Q?"
Quinn let out a ragged breath, swallowing hard due to the closeness.
"Santana!"
Santana turned to look over her shoulder, Tina's arm wrapping around her bicep, unknowingly ruining a moment, "I need your help."
"Kind of busy." Santana said trying to turn back to Quinn, but Tina began to drag her in the opposite direction.
"I just made a bet on you." Tina smirked, while biting her bottom lip with guilt, not caring she rudely interrupted a conversation between Quinn and Santana, she was still annoyed with Quinn for dumping Ava out of the blue anyway.
"Huh?"
"$100. You can out drink this guy." Tina clarified as she pulled out a chair and shoved Santana in the seat.
Santana looked up at the frat boys, about to decline, but the way they were smugly staring at her caused her competitiveness to skyrocket.
"I'm in." Santana said, snapping her fingers to the waitress who began to place the shots down on the table, all the bro's high fiving each other. The muscular one she was drinking against licking his lips and wiggling his eyebrows, "Oh please." Santana laughed, "You'll be going home with your hand tonight."
Twenty minutes later Santana stood up as she drank her last shot with victory, while the muscular guy passed out onto the floor, while Tina reached out to take her winnings, only stopping when a hand tightly wrapped around her wrist.
"I don't fucking thinking so." Santana said, reaching out to shove the guy away from Tina, "Money is ours. Your buddy is passed out." She said coming toe to toe with him.
"I'll hit a girl." The guy dared to say.
Santana smiled, but soon felt a hand on her chest, Quinn stepping in between them.
"Come on, Quinn. Let him hit me. Let him see what happens. Let him learn a lesson." Santana taunted. "I'll end him."
"How about we go home." Quinn insisted gently pushing Santana backwards and away from the frat boys, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, but Santana's attention was still focused over her shoulder, staring down the boys as if they were her prey, "Santana."
"I have the money." Tina said, waving half of it in front of Santana's face, "Thank you and I apologize. I didn't know they would want to fight after losing."
"I might as well keep showing them who the winner really is." Santana said, grabbing her half of the money from Tina, "We can double it."
"Stop, San." Quinn pleaded, reaching up to softly grab her face, forcing her to look her in the eyes.
"You want me to buy you another drink?" Santana smirked, holding up a twenty dollar bill in front of Quinn, while her other hand rested comfortably on her hip.
"I think you had enough to drink." Quinn said her nose scrunching up due to the smell of alcohol on her breath. "Plus I'm leaving. I still have to finish packing."
"Party pooper." Santana hiccupped.
"We're all leaving." Kurt said, "It's getting late and stuffy in here and it's starting to fill with annoying college kids and fake ID's"
"Fine." Santana said and pulled away, "Whatever." She mumbled and stumbled to over to grab her coat.
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"Quinn..." Santana slurred as they came to a stop in front of their apartments, her arms wrapping loosely around the blonde's waist, "Quinn." She sighed, laying her head on her shoulder, the alcohol did a great job at fogging her mind while they were at the bar, but now that she had to officially say goodnight to Quinn knowing she was leaving tomorrow, she wasn't sure she was ready.
Quinn gently wrapped her arms around her, "What?"
"Don't go."
"I have to."
Santana shook her head as she lifted it back up, her glossy eyes locking with Quinn's, "No you don't."
Quinn smiled with a tilt of her head, "It'll be just like the time I was in Boston. We went months without seeing each other, remember? I'm sure you'll be fine."
"What if I make a deal with the devil that I need to get out of? Or if I'm forced to sign some weird contract thing? Who'll get me out of it if you're not here?"
"Don't be signing anything while I'm gone."
Santana scoffed, "I can't promise that. So you have to stay."
Quinn sighed, searching Santana's drunken eyes for something deeper, "Why do you really want me to stay, San?"
Santana rested her forehead against Quinn's, letting out a slow breath, "I'm going to miss you." She quietly spoke, "I like you being close and across the hall."
"Is that it?" Quinn whispered, her hands resting comfortably on Santana's shoulders, while Santana's were placed delightfully on her lower back, their noses inches apart and their lips so close together their breath was mixing.
"London's too far." Santana answered, avoiding the answer she knew Quinn was searching for, still scared about what would happen if she admitted it, even in her drunken state.
Quinn's eyes fluttered shut and she nodded, "Exactly why I need to go." She said and finally pulled back, happy to hear the ding of the elevator, Rachel's joyful hum filling the hallway. "You need to sleep this night off."
"With you?" Santana eagerly asked taking a drunken step forward.
Quinn shook her head, resting her hand on Santana's chest, "Rachel will take care of you. She's good at that. Plus I still have some packing to get done."
"Quinn."
"Santana."
Before anything else was said, Rachel came over, looping an arm through Santana's, knowing the drill all too well by now, "Water and bed."
Santana watched Quinn for a few seconds and then finally nodded, allowing Rachel to guide her to the door and unlock it.
"Have a safe flight." Santana mumbled over her shoulder.
"Bye, San." Quinn sadly sighed.
After making sure Santana was inside the apartment, she turned to Quinn, offering her a hug, "Have a safe flight. Text me or call me or whatever when you make it there, okay?"
"I will." Quinn quietly nodded.
Rachel pulled away, letting out a breath and finally just, "She knows you love her."
Quinn sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes going wide. "What?"
"I know now is probably not the best time to tell you this." Rachel said. "You told her when you were high on pain medication."
Quinn let out a shaky breath, her eyes darting around the hallway, avoiding Rachel, "That explains why she was acting weird tonight." She whispered, "But she still didn't say anything."
"She's scared, Quinn."
"This just makes my decision to go to London even better." Quinn finally said, turning back to her apartment.
"Quinn. Please."
"I'll see you in a month, Rachel." Quinn said finally disappearing into her apartment and shutting the door.
QSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQS
The next morning Santana slowly woke up, head pounding and seemingly full of regret. She was beginning to think that drinking her problems away wasn't the greatest way at handling life.
"Good morning!" Rachel smiled brightly as she entered the living room.
"You do that on purpose." Santana mumbled, sitting up on the couch with her head in her hands.
Rachel nodded as she pulled open the drapes, causing Santana to groan, "Of course I do. You do this to yourself, Santana, really. And does it help?"
Santana shrugged, "It made me realize that I'm stupid and I should have talked to Quinn sober."
"And instead you're causing scenes and picking fights." Rachel scolded.
"I didn't know what to do, Rachel!" Santana said slamming her hand on the coffee table.
Rachel flinched, holding her hand over her chest, "Well don't take it out on me."
"I'm not." Santana mumbled as she slowly stood up, "It's not too late." She said as she headed for the door, "I can still talk to her."
Rachel followed her, confused, "Um...Santana, Quinn is gone."
Santana came to a stop just as her hand rested on the door handle, "What?"
"She left an hour ago." Rachel answered.
And just like that Santana wished she was drunk again. "She left?"
"Well yeah..."
"Rachel!" Santana shouted for the second time that day, her heart beginning to race, her palms sweaty, "Rachel!?"
"What!?"
"What if she meets some hot British chick with an accent!?"
"Santana, you're timing is impeccable." Rachel sarcastically responded. "You couldn't have realized your feelings last night or I don't know a week ago!?"
"What time does her flight leave?" Santana asked as she began to run around the apartment trying to find her things.
"An hour and a half." Rachel said.
"I'm going to the airport." Santana declared, "She can't leave the country for a month without knowing how I feel."
Rachel gasped with delight, a sudden romantic twinkle in her eye, her hands clasping together, grinning like a fool, "Oh! It'll just be like one of those romantic movies. You running through the airport to greet her and to confess your love...Quinn running into your arms. I wish I could come!"
"Don't ruin this for me." Santana said with an eye roll as she shouldered her purse and fled the apartment.
"Call me!" Rachel said poking her head out of the door, watching as Santana slammed her finger into the elevator button, "I'll be at the theater, but call me and tell me how it went. Good luck!"
QSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQS
Santana swore at the cabbie in Spanish the entire way to the airport, throwing money at him with no tip as she nervously jumped out of the vehicle, mumbling a learn how to use the gas pedal as she slammed the door shut. She didn't let that faze her for too long though, because she was now at the airport and only had twenty minutes to find Quinn.
After calling Quinn for what seemed like the millionth time and being sent to voicemail again, she held the phone close to her lips to leave a message, "You're supposed to answer your phone when someone is trying to call you!" and then she hung up and shouldered passed people and to the counter to buy a cheap ticket.
After quickly buying a ticket and making it through TSA she searched all the boards for Quinn's flight, panicking when she couldn't find anything departing to London.
Quickly she pulled her phone out, calling Rachel, who happily answered, "Did everyone applauded?" She gushed dreamily.
"No." Santana bitterly answered, "I can't find her gate and she's not answering her phone."
Rachel sighed.
"Do you have her flight information written down? Is she making a connecting flight first?"
"Hang on, it's in my phone." Rachel said while Santana waited impatiently for Rachel to check the details, it taking far too long before she heard her voice on the other end again, "Okay, JFK, flight-"
"Wait. What?" Santana questioned cutting her off before hearing the rest, her heart sinking and her stomach twisting.
"JFK-"
"Rachel." Santana whispered, her eyes fluttering shut, tears actually stinging her eyes.
"Santana, what's wrong?"
"I'm at the wrong airport."