A/N: Next chapter!

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Chapter 10: Going home

JJ just walked. She had no destination. Nowhere where she was supposed to be. It felt like she didn't belong anywhere. She had no idea what she was going to do. She couldn't go back to DC and act like nothing had happened and just go back to her job. She needed time to figure out her life. She needed to find a way to come to terms with who she really was. JJ told herself to never look back at her past and she knew she handled it the wrong way but it wasn't like she had someone she could talk to. When she was adopted she didn't want to tell her new family who she was. She just felt that they wouldn't want her anymore and she was to happy to risk that.

JJ ended up in the same park as the night before. She sat down in the grass and she leaned against a tree. She still felt a cutting pain coming from her shoulder. Her head felt like it could explode. JJ kept sitting there, hoping that no one would come looking for her. She knew they had to go back to DC soon because the case was closed and other cases needed their attention to. JJ just didn't know how she could possibly go back to work when she felt like a train wreck. JJ turned around when she saw the black SUV in the corner of her eye. She looked up and she saw Hotch sitting in the front seat and he stepped out of the car and walked over to her. JJ was already standing and she met him halfway. They just looked at each other and Hotch pulled JJ into an unexpected hug and JJ obliged. She listened to his breathing while she felt Hotch press a kiss to her head. She wanted to pull away and kiss him on the lips like there was no tomorrow but she didn't know what Hotch wanted anymore.

''JJ, we are flying back in an hour. I asked the locals to take care of the last details. I want you to go home and take it easy. We will all be there for you'' Hotch said softly.

''I know'' JJ said.

They walked back to the car and to her surprise she saw her go-bag already in the car. She figured he took the liberty of packing her bag for her.

''I decided to pack your bags. I hope you don't mind'' Hotch said quickly.

''Of course not. Thanks. Is the team on their way to the airstrip as well?'' JJ asked.

''Yes''

''Did they find the other seven women?'' JJ asked suddenly while completely changing the subject.

''They found the first body an hour ago. They are still searching for the other bodies''

''Okay'' JJ said sadly and she turned her gaze out the window.

The rest of the drive was silent. Hotch glanced at JJ every couple of minutes to make sure that she was okay. He was having a hard time to read JJ and he had no idea how she was dealing with everything.

They reached the airstrip quickly. Hotch followed JJ onto the plane and the rest of the team had already taken a comfortable spot on the plane. JJ walked to the other end where there was an empty seat and it was also the most secluded from everyone. She knew the team was going to have questions but she just wasn't in the mood to talk about her life. JJ sighed deeply when she sat down and she pulled a blanket over her body. Her body was still hurting from the beating and stabs she had to endure but it was actually the last thing on her mind. JJ looked up when she felt someone looking at her and she saw that Hotch was staring at her intently and she glanced back for a couple of moments.

Hotch kept looking at JJ and he was worrying about her. He had no idea if JJ was dealing with everything. Hotch's mind suddenly went from wondering to acknowledging how beautiful she looked. Wow, she is breathtaking. Even if she has some cuts. I hope she is doing okay. I want her to be okay! Hotch thought to himself but he snapped back into reality when he heard someone next to him cough. Hotch looked to his side and he saw Rossi looking at him with amusement.

''What?'' Hotch asked when he saw a small smile form on his friend's face.

''You looked preoccupied with something'' Rossi said.

''Oh, Dave. Drop it, please'' Hotch pleaded because he hated it when Rossi would joke to him about something that he saw.

''I will drop it for now. How is she doing?'' Rossi asked as his eyes landed on JJ.

''I honestly don't know Dave. I don't think she is going to talk to me about it''

''Why not? She trusts you more than anyone on this team, Aaron. You two are the closest. We all see that and we don't mind. You just need to make sure that she is okay'' Rossi said.

''I am going to try Dave but I have no idea how JJ is going to react to it'' Hotch replied.

''We all don't know how JJ is going to act. We need to let her know that we are here for her. That is the best we can possibly do right now'' Rossi said and he knew there wasn't much any of them could do about JJ's situation. Rossi could see the real concern in Hotch's eyes and it worried him.

''I know. I will talk to her. I will'' Hotch said to reassure Rossi when he looked even more worried.

''Okay, I believe you'' Rossi said and he decided to stop the conversation before he was going to irritate Hotch.

In the meantime JJ was still sitting in the same spot. Her body was hurting but her heart hurt even more. When JJ looked at her shoulder she suddenly flashed back to an incident that happened with her father.

Flashback 1990

Little Annie was crawled up in the corner of her bedroom. Her father had been gone for most of the night and Annie woke up with a nightmare. She looked for her dad all over the house but she couldn't find him anywhere. She suddenly heard a noise coming from downstairs and she knew her dad was back home. He went out at night since her mom left and he wouldn't come back until early in the morning and she didn't understand why he was away so much. There were a couple of times when he came back with bloody clothes but there were also times when he just came back home with his a bag.

Annie softly walked down the stairs and she watched her father from one of the steps and she saw him putting his bag down and walk into the living room. Annie softly walked down the other steps until she was on the floor. She slowly made her way to the bag and she opened it. There was white shirt covered in blood in it. She slightly moved the shirt and she saw a knife. Before she could look for anything else, she was being pushed into a wall.

''What do you think you are doing?'' Clark yelled after Annie collided with the wall.

''I…I…I'' she tried to say but she was to scared for her own father.

''You aren't supposed to go through my stuff. Go upstairs now!'' Clark yelled and he hit Annie in the face.

She slowly stood up from the floor with a hand on her hurt shoulder while the tears were falling down the little girl's face. She didn't know her own father anymore and it confused her. She crawled in her bed and she started thinking about the times when her mom was still around for her.

''JJ, are you okay?'' a voice suddenly asked and it pulled JJ from her memory.

''Huh?'' JJ said.

''Oh, I am sorry Em!'' JJ said quickly at the dark-haired woman who was sitting across from her.

''It is okay JJ. Don't worry about it''

''Okay'' JJ said somberly and she returned her gaze ahead of her.

''How are you holding up?''

''I am doing great'' JJ lied and she knew Emily was never going to believe her but she just didn't feel like talking at that moment. It wasn't that she just didn't feel like talking, she just didn't want to talk about something that hurt her so much. She was afraid that they would look at her differently is she told them how she felt and everything that had happened.

''It is okay to talk about this. You can't keep this bottled up inside'' Emily said.

''It is too hard Emily. I don't want to talk about this now. I am tired and I want to get some sleep if you don't mind'' JJ said harshly and she let hear head rest against her seat and she closed her eyes before looking at Emily.

''Okay'' Emily said with worry in her voice and she decided to go back to the other end of the plane to be around the rest of the team.

JJ couldn't sleep during the flight, so she just kept staring out the little window. She wanted to run away from her life and never come back. She felt like she was being haunted and even though she knew that her father was behind bars again, it was just never going to change any of the damage that had been done. Not just to her own life but to the lives of the people who died because of him. JJ felt like she was the blame for what happened and that was a feeling she had been living with her entire life. It just resurfaced over the past few days.