Author's Note: I've decided to continue posting this story on the site. I'm having difficulty with the current chapter of this story and I'm hoping that some feedback/encouragement will help shake off my case of writer's block. So, please leave me a comment, they'll be very helpful. Thanks.
Maureen
Chapter 8
At the sound of her daughter's voice calling from the entryway, Glinda rushed out of the sitting room, where she and her father had been talking. By the time Glinda knelt in front of Olive, the little girl was crying, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Glinda pulled her close, and hugged her tightly. Once Olive's tears had ebbed, Glinda asked what had happened. Riordan watched the exchange quietly.
"Last night when Aya went back home, she used some magic to help Aunt Elphie. She took some of the pain away, inside herself. At first I didn't know... Then today Aya got sick, just like her mama. I could tell she had done something, so I asked her... and she told me about the magic. Do you think Graiya will die, Mama?"
"No," Glinda answered immediately. "I still have enough things upstairs to make that potion one more time. I can go get it ready. You can help me, if you want to."
Olive stepped back in surprise. "Me? I've never helped you with any magic before. Am I supposed to touch that book?"
Glinda paused as memories washed over her, bringing tears to her eyes. "Yes, you can," she whispered, taking Olive's hand. "Come on, we can probably be finished before your papa gets back from his errands." Here Glinda turned to her father. "Papa, would you go back to Elphaba's house? They might need help..."
Riordan frowned, but agreed without hesitation. He then left and walked swiftly down the block. His mind was very focused on something, and he wanted to ask Elphaba about it at his first opportunity. He got sidetracked as he ran into the midwife just as she was leaving, looking tired but content.
After Olive fled their house, Fiyero knew something was very wrong. He had heard his niece run out the door, not walk. After a moment, Fiyero suggested that Stavna go outside to play. The child balked at this, but as her mother kissed her forehead once more, asking her to give them some quiet time alone, Stavna agreed without complaint. After she had gone, Elphaba got out of bed as quickly as her pain and exhaustion would allow. Fiyero stared at her, amazed she even had the strength for it.
"Graiya needs our help," she stated simply, startling him. "I can't believe I didn't know... She's so small, so small..."
Fiyero was afraid to ask his next question, but did so anyway. "What's happened, Elphaba? I could tell something was wrong when the girls came back, but Graiya wouldn't say much. All she did was tell me she was going to bed."
"She... She helped save me. She used a spell... now she's taken on some of my pain... How did I not KNOW that's why she came back here last night? I should have known!"
"Don't say that, Ivy." Normally, words like this would sound like chastisement. But Fiyero's tone was gentle. He knew Elphaba needed no assistance in making herself feel guilty. "You were so sick yesterday," he went on. "I don't blame you for not realizing what Graiya did."
Elphaba set her jaw with determination, but her eyes were filled with sorrow for what her daughter had put herself through. "If Aya could figure out how to take that pain away from me, I can figure out how to take it back. And I will."
Fiyero wanted to protest, but Elphaba's words were exactly what he expected to hear. He decided it was not worth drawing his wife's wrath by speaking up. Not to mention that they had yet to go see what kind of condition Graiya was in. They both rushed down the hall to the bedroom, throwing the door wide. To their surprise, they found not only Graiya, but Stavna as well. The younger girl stood beside the bed, holding Graiya's hand. There were no tears on Stavna's face, only fear and a touch of wonder. As Elphaba knelt beside the bed, Stavna met her eyes.
"Can you make Aya better now?" Stavna tried not to sound hopeful and failed. "She won't tell me what made her so sick. But she's scared, I can tell."
"I know," Fiyero spoke as he dropped to his knees beside Stavna as well. When he looked her in the eye, her chin quivered. "I think we should let Mama take care of your sister for a few minutes. We can come back later. You haven't even met your little sister yet. Why don't we go to the nursery?"
Stavna looked uncertainly from her mother to her father and back again. Elphaba saw Stavna's fear, and immediately pulled her close. "Go ahead," she encouraged. "You need to tell Talissana what a great big sister you're going to be to her."
Stavna laid her head on her mother's shoulder and tried very hard not to cry. "Aya taught me how to do that," she whispered, then turned and walked out of the room with Fiyero. Alone now with her eldest child, Elphaba placed her hands, one on top of the other, palms down, in the center of Graiya's chest. She had no idea at first if this would do any good, but after a moment or two of concentrating very hard on what she wanted to happen, she had the physical sensation of pain flowing into her body. It startled her, but she did not gasp. In that moment, Graiya opened her eyes. For the first time in her life, she looked sad to see her mother.
"No, Mama..." she whispered weakly. "I made Olive promise... Promise not to tell! I knew you'd do this if she did! Please go away, Mama. Please!"
Elphaba was about to speak and try to soothe Graiya, when another voice coming from the doorway seemed to make the temperature in the room drop twenty degrees. "What do you think you're doing, Elphaba? After all this time, I find out you're THIS selfish? She's a little girl... YOUR little girl. How dare you use her to help yourself this way!"
Elphaba had turned slightly as her father spoke, but kept her hands where they were. Graiya was aware of what was happening, but seemed unable to speak anymore. Elphaba was so shocked at Riordan's words, it took her a moment to find her own voice.
"Papa, you don't understand. I didn't do..."
"Shut up," he growled as he stalked toward the bed. "Get away from her!"
Riordan grasped Elphaba roughly by one arm, attempting to tear her away from her daughter. Elphaba fought him the best she could, telling him angrily to let her go. She refused to cry out even though Riordan's grip was so tight it hurt. Before Riordan could speak again, Fiyero's icy voice filled the room.
"Take your hands off my wife," he said, his voice low and threatening. "Let her go, and get out of here!" Fiyero rushed forward, pushing Riordan out of his way without a second thought. "Ivy, are you all right?" He cupped her face in his hands as he spoke, and Elphaba looked suddenly ashamed of her weakness.
"Fine," she said, sending daggers in Riordan's direction. "I'm not important right now." Elphaba dropped her voice to a whisper as she went on. "Aya... Aya, can you hear me?"
For a long moment, Graiya stared blankly, making no reply. Suddenly, her eyes focused, and she reached for her mother's hand. "I only wanted to help you," she said sadly, as if she had heard the adults' entire conversation. "I didn't do anything wrong... Did I?"
"No," Elphaba replied quickly. "What you did for me was very special. I didn't want you to suffer like I have... That's why I took back what's mine. How do you feel? Has the pain left you now?"
Graiya nodded, watching Riordan uncertainly. "Why is Grandpapa so angry? Is it because of me?"
Fiyero and Elphaba both looked at Riordan, silently telling him this was his question to answer. As he slowly approached the bed again, Graiya clung more tightly to her mother, as if she were afraid of what Riordan might do to her.
"Of course it's not because of you, Graiya," Riordan said as firmly as he could. His voice quivered with tears, and he said no more for the moment.
"Grandpapa and I just need to have a talk, so I can make him understand what happened, Aya. I want you to stay here with Papa. Go say hello to your new little sister. Everything will be all right." Elphaba tried not to sound uncertain, but didn't entirely succeed. She glanced over at Riordan, who seemed much calmer now. For her part, Elphaba was a little frightened. She thought back on all of her past failings and misunderstandings with other people, and her heart filled with sorrow.
"I hope so," Graiya said faintly. Elphaba and Riordan departed for the living room before Fiyero could protest. Aya and her father remained in the bedroom briefly, listening for sounds from the other room. When both her mother and grandfather began to raise their voices, Graiya got quickly out of bed, as if she wanted to go in there too.
"No, Aya." Fiyero said gently. "This is between them. Let's go see Talissana like Mama told you. Stavna is in there waiting for us."
Graiya agreed, and the pair walked quickly down the hall to the nursery. They found Stavna sitting in the large rocking chair, swinging her legs impatiently. When she saw her sister come through the door, however, she jumped up and ran over, hugging her tightly.
"Aya, you're all better!" She cried happily. Stavna pulled away before she went on. "Mama did it, didn't she?"
"Yes," Graiya answered simply, before taking her sister's hand and leading her over to the crib, where the new baby slept. The noise from the other room hadn't disturbed her at all. Fiyero approached and watched his two older children as they peered in at the baby.
"She's normal," Graiya whispered. Before her father could comment on the combination of disappointment and relief in her voice, Graiya left the room and went to stand in the hallway. From there, she could better hear her mother and grandfather talking.
Once Riordan and Elphaba were alone in the living room, neither of them spoke for several minutes. Elphaba wanted to begin her explanation immediately, but when Riordan took a seat on the couch and lowered his head as if he were ashamed, Elphaba decided to hold her tongue. At last, it was Riordan who spoke.
"Are you going to explain what happened in there?" he questioned softly. Only after he looked her in the eye would Elphaba answer him. She set her jaw before she began to speak.
"I saved my daughter's life, that's what happened," she said, her voice low but furious. "How dare you think I'd ever do anything to hurt her! You know me better than that. I had to do something... When she helped save my life she took too much of my pain. If I hadn't done something... If only I'd known what she came back here for last night... I would have told her not..."
Riordan suddenly laughed bitterly, surprising Elphaba into silence. "If you had known? Do you really think I'm that gullible?? You have second sight, how could you not know!? You let that little girl come back here last night and nearly sacrifice herself to save you!"
Riordan was standing now, his temper and voice raised. The brief moment of silence was broken by the sound of a glass that had been left on the kitchen counter toppling to the floor and shattering. Elphaba and Riordan both behaved as if this did not happen, their minds focused on the conversation.
"I did not!" Elphaba cried. "I would never... Graiya came back here last night needing to see me. What was I supposed to do, refuse? I was so tired, so sick... I just didn't pick up on it. Then today when I was feeling better, I could sense it. It felt like she was dying... I didn't even know how much time I'd have to help her..."
As Elphaba sank down onto the couch, all of Riordan's fury left him, and he collapsed beside her. He glanced over and saw tears standing in the corners of Elphaba's eyes. "You really didn't know." he whispered. This was no longer a question, it was a statement. Elphaba met his gaze and shook her head slowly.
"Elphaba, I'm sorry. I overreacted and misunderstood. But when I came in and saw what you were doing, I thought... I shouldn't have assumed anything. I'm sorry, please forgive me."
Elphaba did not reply, instead she simply hugged Riordan tightly when he opened his arms to her. Once she felt safe in his embrace, Elphaba repeated some of her earlier words. "If I had known, I would never have let Graiya do it, Papa. She's so small... She could have killed herself doing that. All because she loves me so much. And I didn't have the slightest clue. How could I not know? She's my DAUGHTER."
"Yes, she is, and I'd never accuse you of not loving her. That isn't what I meant. It worries me, though... I think Graiya needs you to guide her in using the magic. Before she hurts herself again... Or hurts someone else."
From her place in the hallway, Graiya drew back as if she had been slapped. She had never imagined her Grandpapa thought such things about her. That she could be careless, thoughtless... Even dangerous. Before she could hear another word that was said in the living room, Aya fled back to the nursery, where Fiyero and Avna were still watching Talissana, who was slowly waking from her nap. Stavna looked into Graiya's face and frowned.
"What's wrong, Aya? You look really sad."
"Nothing. It's nothing," Graiya mumbled, quickly turning all of her attention to her new little sister. After a moment, Fiyero placed the tiny girl into Graiya's arms. Without being reminded, Graiya held the baby in just the way she had seen their mother do, gently cradling the newborn close to her body.
"She's so good, Papa. I haven't even heard her cry yet. She's so good."
Fiyero gave his oldest child an odd look when she repeated this. Something in her tone made him wonder if something else was going on.
"Aya, are you sure everything is all right?"
"I'm fine, Papa," Graiya replied, forcing herself to smile. After a few moments, though, the nine-year-old felt tears welling in her eyes. She quickly made an excuse so she could leave the room, and escaped down the hall to her own bedroom.
Following the surprising words uttered by Riordan, Elphaba pulled away from him, her face clouding with anger again. "What are you talking about?" she said harshly. "She's only nine years old! She only did what she did yesterday because she thought I was... She would NEVER hurt me. Never!"
"Not on purpose, no," Riordan said cautiously. "But unintentionally she might. Stavna isn't gifted with the magic, at least not that we can tell. And Talissana is so small, so helpless. What if Graiya accidentally..."
"Don't you EVER say that!" Elphaba raged. "Graiya is young, but she has a good head on her shoulders. And she would never even think about hurting her sisters! Not for a single minute. You don't understand her at all if you can stand there and say that! She's gifted with magic, just like me.We aren't evil monsters!"
When Elphaba finally paused in her tirade, Riordan spoke up immediately. "Elphaba, I didn't say any of those things," he said loudly but calmly. "I would never accuse either of you of doing something wrong on purpose. I love you both, you know that. What is this really about?"
Riordan's gentle words stopped Elphaba's anger in its tracks. Instead, sadness pushed its way to front of her mind. She seemed to be thinking of dozens of things at once... All of the pain in her childhood because of her family's shame over her magical talent being foremost. She felt the same now as her father and Nessa had always made her feel. She started to speak, and though she wanted to call Riordan papa as she always did, her feelings prevented her being able to.
"Riordan, I don't know if I can make you understand. When I was young, younger than Graiya is now
my family already knew I had talents. They never saw them as good, and my father... He would get so angry. At first, when things would happen, I was too young to really understand. I thought, if I just tried hard enough, the strange things that always seemed to happen, especially when I was angry, would stop. But by the time I reached my eighth birthday, I knew trying to stop myself from doing magic would be like trying to stay alive without breathing. I couldn't do it. I tried and tried... Then, one night Father had a whole houseful of people to dinner. He was afraid I'd embarrass him, so I was ordered to stay in my room. I couldn't even read because of all the noise, so after a while I found a spot on the landing I was pretty sure no one would see me watching from. There were two people right below me, huddled in a corner, laughing over something. After a minute, I realized they were talking about my sister.
"She'd been allowed to come to the party, even though she was only five. She loved all the attention, and most of the people fussed over her. But those two... They said such cruel things. I got so angry, and the next thing I knew, the glasses they each had in their hands shattered. Other things went flying, and that was what Father noticed. He knew... I saw him looking around, trying to see where I was hiding. I got up and ran. I stayed in my room after that, but I was still awake after everyone left. Only then did Father come up to see me. He screamed in my face, asked me what I thought I had been doing. He said I had ruined the party and brought him such shame... I tried to tell him what had happened, but at the first sound out of my mouth, he hit me. The next morning I already had bruises... Everyone in the house knew what had happened, but no one dared question Father's actions. He never did that again, but he didn't need to. I knew he hated the things I could do... Which meant he hated ME. He was afraid, he didn't understand. And neither do you."
Riordan opened his mouth to protest, and Elphaba rewarded him with a scowl. "It's true," she went on angrily. 'Just like almost everyone I've ever met in my life, you don't really understand. All these years I've treated you as if you were my father. What a fool I was!" Elphaba laughed bitterly, then went on. "Until you've had time to think about the things you said about me and Graiya, I'd rather not see you for a while."
Riordan looked badly shocked, and immediately began to try to remedy the situation. "Elphaba, I told you I was sorry. I meant it. You'd never told me before what your father was like. I'm sorry he treated you that way. But I'm not like him, Elphaba. I'm not ashamed of you, or..."
"Yes you are! You sounded just like him... And I think that, if you'd had time, you would really have hurt me before."
Riordan was so hurt and angered by this suggestion that he didn't trust himself to speak. In the midst of the angry silence, Glinda walked through the door, bringing the potion she didn't yet know was unneeded. Olive was beside her, holding her hand. They both stopped just inside the door when they saw the fury in Elphaba's eyes.
"Elphie, what's going on?" Glinda asked this cautiously, realizing that whatever was going on was something she had no clue about yet. If something had happened to Graiya, everyone would be sad, not angry. Elphaba gestured toward Riordan as she replied.
"Ask him," she growled, volunteering nothing more. Olive, how was normally very cowed by her aunt's anger, stepped forward and spoke. "Aunt Elphie, can I stay here for a while and play? Graiya is better, isn't she?"
Elphaba turned all of her attention to her niece, walking over and kneeling in front of her. "Yes, she's fine. Of course you can stay. I'm not sure where everyone is, but they're here somewhere. The girls will be glad you came."
Olive smiled, but only for an instant. "Aunt Elphie?" she asked timidly. "Why do you look so sad?"
Elphaba reached out and gently grasped the end of one of Olive's curls, using it to tickle the little girl's cheek. This made her giggle, and Elphaba smiled in return.
"I'll be fine. Go on, find your cousins. I'll check on you later."
Satisfied, Olive left the room. Once she had gone, Glinda demanded an explanation of what was going on. This was provided entirely by Riordan. Elphaba glared at him throughout it, but most of all when he told of his accusations of her. Glinda shared her friend's anger at this point, but years of habit made her hold her tongue rather than raging at her father. When Riordan told of Elphaba's wish not to see him again for some time, Glinda gasped.
"Elphie, I know you're upset, but maybe if you and Papa talked about it a little longer..."
"I'm done talking about it, Glinda. Whatever happens now is up to him. He's the one that's unfairly accusing people of things." Here she turned to Riordan and spoke to him, however reluctantly. "I'd really like you to leave now. I need to look after the children."
Normally, Elphaba and Riordan didn't part without giving each other a hug and kiss. Today, Riordan knew better than to even try offering these. Instead, he just walked quietly to the door, where he paused, but did not turn around. "Goodbye, Elphaba," he whispered. "I'm only doing this because it's what you want. But I can be stubborn too... Don't expect to get rid of me this easily."
As he went through the door, Elphaba had to fight the urge to call after him. Instead, she watched sadly from the window as he walked down the sidewalk. After a moment, she felt Glinda's hand on her shoulder.
"Elphie, the two of you will make up. Once you're both calmed down, you can try to talk again. You have a right to be angry, but he loves you... You love him, too."
Elphaba turned away from the window, hastily wiping a pair of tears from her face. "I need to go look in on the children," she said rapidly. "The baby will need to nurse soon. But please stay. Please."
Glinda agreed to this without hesitation. When Travion returned from his errands and found his own house empty except for Riordan, who was hastily packing, he asked for an explanation. Riordan would offer none, and Travion had to get it from Glinda instead. They decided to remain at Elphaba and Fiyero's house for the night. Once the children had been tucked into bed, Glinda tried again to broach the subject of her father.
"Glinda, I said I don't want to talk about it. It's up to him now, that's all I have to say. Now, I'm very tired. In case you've forgotten, I did just deliver a baby. Good night!"
With that, Elphaba stormed out of the room. Fiyero and Travion both gave Glinda sympathetic looks. "She needs time, that's all," Fiyero said gently. "I can't blame her for being angry... In fact, I agree with her. But, I never thought she'd tell your father..."
"He's her father too!" Glinda shouted, starting to cry softly. "I know how much those things Papa said hurt her. But she finally has a father... They care about each other so much. And now..." Glinda's words were lost in tears at this point. Fiyero gently suggested that they all turn in for the night, and soon, everyone was resting in bed. Elphaba and Fiyero were awake for some time, saying very little, just taking comfort from their closeness. The baby had nursed easily and was now asleep again. Elphaba at last felt herself drifting off too, and besides whispering good night, she could not stop herself from saying something else as well.
"I miss him already," she whispered. Fiyero wanted to say something, but could think of nothing that would be comforting enough. So he just hugged her tightly, kissed her behind one ear, and told her he loved her. Not minutes after that, they were both asleep.
Graiya laid awake for so long, and was so perfectly still, that her muscles ached when she tried to move. Once she was up, she moved quickly, snatching the small bag she had packed from its hiding place under her bed. She wanted to kiss her sister and cousin goodbye, but they were sound asleep in Stavna's bed. Besides, after what their grandfather had said, Graiya wondered if she might be hurting people just by touching them. After all, all she had done to help her mother was hold her hand...
The little girl tiptoed out of her room and toward the front door, pausing only once when someone, probably her uncle, suddenly snored loudly. A moment later, she slipped out of the front door. Though she knew exactly where she wanted to go, getting there was another matter. Because though they had been to Taliesin's house occasionally by carriage, he usually came to their house. So Graiya wasn't sure she knew the way. Taliesin had always been like another uncle, very wise and patient. Graiya knew he was just the one she needed to talk to about what had happened with her grandpapa. This need became even more urgent as Graiya passed her aunt and uncle's house and realized Riordan's carriage was gone.
"I'm sorry, Grandpapa," she whispered into the wind. "I didn't mean to do anything bad." Graiya hung her head, and for the first time in her life, felt ashamed of her talent for magic.