Chapter 10 – Clicking Into Place
Fingers were intertwined and a thumb rubbed a comforting circle over the others palm as they trode through the forest, their footfalls making no sound as they moved over the fallen foliage. The moon was high and full in the sky as they reached their destination, not that the given light was required. The freshly disturbed ground in front of a large oak tree, dug with their own hands, gave the only hint as to why the two vampires were there at all. Bella crouched close to the ground and gently placed the urn down on the ground, making sure it was steady and would not spill its precious contents. In the ground was a small, wedge shaped headstone with two names, Ben and Tia, and one date. One date had been put on the headstone at Ben's request, as he had said when Tia died, he stopped living.
The cremation had been a surreal experience for the entire family; watching as the 'dead' climbed into to his own coffin and had been sealed in. Everyone had attended, becoming close to Ben in the week he had spent with them as arrangements were made. Bella knew that the due to their diet and ability to form bonds with other vampires, the Cullen's often felt isolated from others of their kind. Now that Bella was again part of a coven, she identified with that. Understanding was firm in the family's minds, and no one could imagine living without their mate as Ben had done for so long.
Jasper had arranged for the small, discrete headstone to be made, as Carlisle did not feel as if Ben and Tia's passing should go unmarked. The headstone would be overtaken by the forest in a few decades, but those that had helped him and came to know him would always know it was there. Bella had spent time getting to know Ben, not to ease her conscience, because that would never be possible. She wanted to get to know Ben, and it turned out that his views on religion, higher powers and death were interesting to her.
Bella had initially sat down beside Ben to explain the details of what would happen with the 'funeral,' and how he would have to act while they were there. Yet as she sat and talked to him, she felt the overwhelming need to explain to him her own actions and also Tia's last moments as she was sentenced by the Volturi. Reassurance was given to Ben that she had made sure that Tia had not suffered anymore than was necessary. She had died as quickly and painlessly as the Volturi would allow. They had sat in silence for a while as Ben processed what Bella told him, conflicting emotions on his usually stoic face.
After a while, Bella had reached across and taken his hand, squeezing it in encouragement letting him know she was still there. Slowly Ben opened up to Bella, explaining how he had journeyed to Egypt, and there, had found Amum and Kia in Cairo. They had moved to Alexandria, as Amun was attracting far too much attention, and with it, the interest of the Volturi. It had been an instant attraction between Ben and Tia, and they had loved powerfully. Ben pointed out to Bella that he could see the same kind of love between Edward and Bella, yet their bond was stronger than his and Tia's. Tia had made him laugh and suited his usually jovial personality. They had considered leaving Amun more than once, but Tia wanted the family she had lost, and Ben would do anything for her.
Ben confided in Bella that he and Tia had never talked about the future and what would happen if either of them was to die. They had taken for granted the fact that they were eternal and that life would never end for them as vampires. He had found this with most covens he had come across except for the Cullens. It scared him how close to true humans the Cullens were, and maybe if he had discovered Carlisle hundreds of years previous, he wouldn't have turned out the soulless monster he now was. Bella happily pointed out that it was only thanks to his current situation he had met Tia to begin with, plus she didn't think he was a soulless monster in the first place. They had shared Jasper's story, with his permission, about how years of war had left Jasper, and it was his love of Alice that had changed him into the vegetarian he was today.
Tia's death had left Ben haunted by the thought of her soul wandering the earth, alone, that monsters like them had nowhere else to go. God would never allow vampires into heaven. Bella had tried to convince him that Tia's soul was not lost and wandering; it was right beside him, waiting for him to join her. Ben was surprised to find that Bella thought that vampires even had souls.
"I don't think that a soul has anything to do with religion, evil, or monsters. Every person has a soul. It is what makes us exist. Just because we are vampires does not mean that we do not care, that we are incapable of compassion or even love. You love Tia with your whole being like I love Edward. That is your soul right there."
"What would Edward have done today if you had gone back to Volterra with Aro or if Aro had sentenced you to die over your Immortal Child?"
"Edward has decided he will follow me wherever I go, even if that means ending his own life. Our family has agreed to help him just as they have agreed to help you. Edward waited for me for such a long time, hundreds of years spent alone. He loves with such an intensity that it would be impossible for him to live without whomever he chose to love. Vampires live an eternal life that even the smallest of changes have the most profound effect on them, just as it did with you and Tia. That is why vampires mate for life, why they demand revenge on whomever kills their mate. A creature that loves like that cannot be soulless.'
"But you have a child. How could you leave her exposed to this world? It is you that protects her from the Volturi. You say that vampires are affected by change, would she not also be affected?"
"Emmett and Rosalie, our brother and sister, would take care of her. Our family will always look after each other. It is a by-product of our diet to form such deep bonds outside of our mate, vampires with a human diet struggle to form a family like ours. Edward and I love Sophia very much, and we would never leave her by choice, but the simple truth of it is, is that our souls cannot live without each other.
Jasper had pulled her aside later that day to say that he had never felt a peaceful vibe from Ben, from the moment he had met him, but after they had talked, he could sense a peace settling into him, and Ben no longer needed Jaspers help to remain in control of himself. His wish to die was still there, but he was finally starting to feel at peace with his actions and Tia's death. Jasper sat with Bella a while longer as they caught up. It had been a while since Bella had the chance to just sit with Jasper. She provided a calm setting for him, her emotions under control and constant. Jasper had always wanted to seek solace in Bella's control while others around him seemed to allow their emotions to run riot around him, never getting a break. The only other person that would fill him with this peace was Alice, her love constant and stable, and he loved her the more for it.
The burial had been simple, neither Edward or Bella saying more than a simple goodbye before replacing the six feet of earth on top of the oak urn that Ben had picked out for himself. Words weren't really needed. Their very recent friend was gone, but his plight had bonded the family, and upon their return from the funeral home, each couple had paired off, taking time to recommit themselves and give thanks that it was not them that lost a mate.
"So, how do you feel about St. Petersburg?" Edward asked as they leisurely strolled back through the forest to their own house. "I know that you have only moved here and that you love your house."
"A house is only bricks and mortar, Edward." Bella lightly chastised. "It is what you fill it with that makes it a home. St. Petersburg sounds amazing. We stayed in Moscow for a while about forty years ago, so Sophia is fluent in Russian."
Bella closed her eyes and thought back to the wonderful city they had briefly lived in before Sophia had raised the suspicions of the local Orthodox church, and they had left before things got heavy. Bella had fallen in love with the dome-topped buildings, the romantic architecture and the opportunity to walk amongst humans so freely as the cloudy skies and the pale skinned locals offered.
"We are going to have to tell Emmett to lay off the bear hunting with Sophia when we get there though. She is getting too grumpy and forceful after he takes her hunting. She isn't used to so much carnivore blood in her diet " Bella stated, pulling herself closer to Edward's arm, seeking the reassurance from his embrace as he nodded his head in agreement. A quick glance at his face showed peace, and he looked more relaxed than he had been just twenty four hours before.. "How are you feeling about the Volturi? We haven't really talked about it since they left."
"I'm glad they are gone, and from what I could gather," he tapped his temple lightly."I don't think Aro is thinking about coming after us any time soon. He finds us a suddenly formidable force." Edward pulled them slowly into a stop beside an ancient tree. "How did you know about Didyme?"
Bella faced him and looped her arms around his waist, unable to take the lack of contact between them. She had a feeling that the urge to be close wasn't going to disappear anytime soon.
"I heard rumours around the guard about the sudden disappearance of Aro's sister and Marcus's wife. There were stories of how Aro had her sent away to an island so that Marcus would focus more on their plans. That Sulpicia was secretly in love with Marcus and had Didyme removed. It was like the assassination of President Kennedy in the 1960's, conspiracy theories abound. You were around for that right, Kennedy."
Edward caught her sly smile and gently pushed her shoulder in mock anger, chuckling. "Really, Marcus and Didyme were so in love that Marcus was going to give up the Volturi and start again with her. She wanted a life that didn't involve world domination, and I think she could probably see where Aro was going with his overthrowing of the Romanian covens. I wanted to know the real story, so I went digging in Sulpicia's mind and came up blank. She wasn't in love with Marcus after all; that would have been very Dawson's Creek."
She looked up at Edwards blank face. "Human memory, never mind. Something about Didyme's disappearance struck a cord with me, and I was like a dog with a bone. I went after Aro, as he was her brother, and there it was. He had the only person who wanted the overall control of the vampire world as much as he did, Caius, murder her, and then he kept the ashes in the throne room beside him. Aro did love Didyme but he loved his Guard more, and his mind was riddled with domination, like a cancer. You saw what happened to Ben with the loss of Tia, imagine that love built over centuries, all encompassing and so beyond comprehension. Aro could have had Chelsea break the bonds but with the love that Marcus and Didyme shared, they would have just reformed eventually and stronger than ever. The murder of Didyme was the only option left to a desperate man."
"He could have let them, then caught them and killed Didyme within the laws. Why did he have to hide the murder?" Edward quizzed, feeling like he was stuck in a John Sandford novel.
"Ah yes, but the problem is that the Guard is meant to be purely voluntary, and it is for the most part unless you have a gift that Aro wants. So he couldn't get either of them for deserting the Guard. Didyme had the upmost respect for the laws and would never purposely break them and everyone knew that. So he had to go all hush-hush."
"Have I told you lately that you amaze me?" Edward picked her up in his arms and swung her around, her legs whipping through the air, giggles erupting from her wide smile.
"Not nearly enough," She muttered, her smile betraying her before her face dropped into seriousness. She put her hands to his cheeks and stared deep into his ochre eyes . "I need you to know, I would never leave you. We made an agreement and, God, I love you so very much. I never want you to think that I would ever give that up. But I needed you and the rest of the family to firmly believe that I love you enough to walk away, that your lives will always come first for me. If I hadn't had the strength to break the bonds with Marcus, then I would have had to go back to Volterra. Aro would never of allowed me to walk away and live. If that was the case, if I had to return to Volterra, Aro would have read you or Carlisle to check that it wasn't some kind of Trojan horse. I couldn't risk you knowing my real intentions until I was sure it would work."
"I understand, love. I could see it in your eyes that you would never leave me, which was I was so confused, why I fought against you. I will never do it again." Edward took Bella's cheeks in his hands, mirroring her hold on his. "I also know that you would never take Sophia from me, she is my daughter now too."
"I know that, I honestly do. I am just glad that you are not as accepting of me leaving as I was of you all those years ago. I just let my life fall apart, convinced that you had never loved me."
Edward hung his head, her fingers slipping from his skin. "I will never forgive myself for leaving you. Or for what happened to you afterwards. If I hadn't left you wouldn't be..."
Bella harshly pulled at his chin, forcing him to look at her. "Edward Cullen, do not ever take that back. If it weren't for Victoria, I wouldn't have gotten to experience this with you. I wouldn't have Sophia or a family who love me as if I was their own. I know that I have lost out on a few things too, like Charlie, but sometimes the sacrifice is worth it. (For the end justifies the means and that means you! I, Isabella Lee, love you, Edward Cullen, and I am not going anywhere so get used to it and stop haunting yourself with 'what if's'.'"
Bella started to walk away, Edward's hand in hers.
Edward stopped, jolting Bella to stop beside him, pulling her into his arms. He rested his forehead against hers, able to look her in the eye while taking comfort from skin on skin contact. "Marry me?"
Silence reverberated throughout the forest as the words hung in the air. "What?" Bella questioned softly, her eyes only showing confusion and disbelief at his words.
"You shouldn't be a Lee or a Swan, you should be a Cullen. You have always been a Cullen. Sophia belongs to both of us too, and should be a Cullen as well. You are mine for always, and I want the whole world to know it. Marry me?"
"Edward, you knew my feelings on marriage when I was human, that hasn't changed. We don't need marriage to show the world what we mean to each other. The world isn't interested, and our family already knows what we feel. I won't want what happened to Charlie and Renee to happen to us." Bella knew in reality she was saying, 'if you wanted to walk away again, I don't want a piece of paper to hold you back.' Once more she was glad Edward couldn't read her mind.
"I was raised as a traditional boy with traditional values. We have a child, we love each other, and for me that means that marriage naturally flows from it. I want to be able to call you Mrs. Cullen and I want you to know where you and Sophia stand in my life. I mean, what am I to you? I'm not your husband, and I think after everything we have been through, I am far beyond the definition of a boyfriend."He chuckled at the highly inappropriate use of the word 'boy'.
Bella stood back, her mind reeling. She had always thought that all marriage was, was a definition by a piece of paper; that marriage was simply a union, not needed if you were truly together. She had thought that even when Jarrod had asked her to marry him, even though she had explained that she couldn't love him the way he loved her. With Edward, it was different; she loved him so completely she hadn't thought she needed anything else to prove that. Bella hadn't thought that maybe Edward did need that reassurance of their love, her love to him. They had an agreement, an agreement that Bella had made him make,never to leave her. If they were going to be together for eternity, the least she could do was give him something that would prove she would never leave him either. That forever meant forever to her too.
During her pause to evaluate the situation, Edward had been studying her face for a hint at what she was thinking. Not being able to read her mind was a blessing in the peace she offered him, but at times like this, it was frustrating. Varying thoughts ran through his head as to what she might be thinking. Maybe she wanted the whole fairytale; the diamond ring, grand gestures, the whole kit and caboodle. It won't be typical Bella, but then again, neither was marriage. He shook his head in frustration at his actions. "I knew I should have done this right. You deserve me to be on one knee, a ring, romance and bird choruses. I mean I have the ring, I've had it since your 18th birthday..."
Bella laid a hand on his cheek and drew his eyes back to hers. "Yes, Edward, of course I will marry you."
It took a few seconds for the words to register, even in his vampiric brain. Edward grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close to him, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck, at the juncture with her collarbone. Before she could react he was twirling them around in a circle again. She threw back her head and let out a laugh in pure, unashamed happiness. It filled the silent forest. Her hair whipped around them as she placed her hands on his shoulders to steady her as they moved faster and faster, a small hole appearing in the ground around Edwards feet. If she had still been Isabella Swan she was sure she would be sick by now, with a few brain contusions as her brain rattled around her skull, but she wasn't, she was Bella Lee, soon to be Mrs. Bella Cullen, and instead she was free and lucky beyond comprehension. Eventually Edward slowed and placed her back on her feet, drawing her in for a searing kiss that left no doubt in her mind that this was right. Nothing had ever felt as right as marrying Edward Cullen.
"You do realize that we owe Alice big time. She managed to keep this under wraps for a week. A whole week. Poor Jasper."Edward said, amusement filling his voice and a certain spring in his step she had never seen before.
"She can plan the wedding, then. It's a chore for most people, but Alice isn't most people."
"I don't think she ever was, even when she was alive. Diet aside, being a vampire was probably made for Alice."
A squeal echoed from somewhere on the edge of the forest as Bella and Edward dissolved into laughter.
So what has Alice seen?
Though Tread Lightly was heavily reedited, i left the scene with Bella and Ben largely untouched. Good call?
Uberthanks to my new beta Tina32899 and to Katastrophe who is my constant support and bounce wall!