Somebody still there?
Well, I hope so... It's taken even longer than usual for me to update, a fact I'm sorry for. First I had to study like crazy for university, then just afterwards, with perfect timing, I fell ill. Therefore I decided to wait a little more with the next update and finished two chapters. So to make up for my long absence you will get chapter 10 within one week from now.

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is owned by Takeuchi-sama, the lyrics are taken from Bon Jovi's song 'Helter Skelter'

When you get to the bottom
You go back to the top of the slide
And you stop and you turn
And you go for a ride
Till you get to the bottom
Ever since the day the oxygen mask had been removed from my face and I had been able to talk again I had pestered the nurses and the doctor about when I would finally be allowed to stand up again. On the first days the nurses had pity on me and had tried to cheer me up, but after a week they had simply shoved the thermometer my mouth to keep me quiet. The doctor, Hideki-sensei as I had learned, had always said "Not yet.", examining me silently.

If I had been one thing, I had been restless. The combined efforts of time and painkillers had made me feel a lot better since I had woken up for the first time and I saw no reason why I should stay in bed all day. I had tried to sit up and get up by myself a few times, but always my weakened muscles had failed me. The staggering jerky movements I had made in order to get up had made my broken ribs hurt. In the end a nurse had been alarmed by my rapidly accelerating heart rate.

Of course Tomohito, who had still been coming round every day, had offered to drive me around in a wheelchair but I had refused. I had hungered for some physical action, for not being pampered more. When he had read to the paper to me I had listened only half-heartedly, after all I had been able to read it on my own again. We had tried to talk, but in my life nothing much had happened and when Tomohito had not been at my bedside he had been working for my father, a topic I had not been interested in. Therefore, although I had been able to talk again, his visits had pretty soon lapsed into prolonged silences.

I had been thankful to Tomohito for coming nevertheless, since neither of my parents had shown up a second time so far. It was just that I wanted to do something desperately.

I had not counted my attempts at getting out of my bed, but there had been a few. In the end Hideki-sensei had stormed into my room threatening to strap me to the bed should I not lie still on my own. I had protested, saying I felt good enough to get up once in a while, and that I wanted to move a little bit after weeks of lying.

"Fine Tenou-san, we'll make a deal. Starting tomorrow a physiotherapist will come to you to train the musculature in your arms. When she says you're ready you'll get a corset to keep you're rips fixated and then you can use a wheelchair to leave your room. You'll do exactly as your therapist says and no more adventures on your own. Understood?"

"Yes, but can't I walk with crutches?" I had asked.

"No! Not with your rips. Wheelchair or nothing at all. So what will it be Tenou-san?" He had told me sternly.

"Wheelchair." I had muttered grudgingly.

The doctor had kept his word. The next morning, when I had finished my breakfast, the door had opened and the nurse had been accompanied by a black haired woman I had not seen before. She seemed to be about thirty. Her hair had been loose and she had worn neither a nurse outfit nor a lab coat but sweat pants and a t-shirt.

"So" she had said eyeing me. "You're the little delinquent who can't wait to ruin her health walking off on her own. I heard the nurses complain about you quite a bit already. I had expected you to be younger from the description."

Her words had both hurt and shamed me. In my head I had already been thinking of telling Hideki-sensei to assign another therapist on my case or else stop the physiotherapy.

"I'd like to see you trapped in this boredom of a room without any physical action day in day out and not going half crazy." I had spat at her. I had had enough to deal with, there had been no need for a therapist ridiculing me. To my surprise however, she had broken into a grin.

"Well then, let's get you out of this trap then. I'm Kyoko Karasuma."

After this rather startling introduction Kyoko-san had turned out not to be so bad; in fact I had started to like her. For one she had known what she had been doing. And more, what had given her a boost in my opinion, Karasuma had encouraged my eagerness to recover as soon as possible. The doctor had listened to her voice and so, even if it had not been true, I had had the feeling I had been doing as much exercise as I could.

In the mornings after breakfast she had had me doing exercises to build up my withered muscles and in the afternoons Karasuma had taken me outside in the wheelchair and I had felt almost unbearably happy to be outside again, to feel the wind on my face, even if it was only light breeze.

Our training sessions had only been interrupted by Tomohito who had still been coming round every day, now during his lunch break. I had been disappointed at the breaks when Karasuma had left my room as soon as Tomohito entered with my lunch tablet, even though I had known I could not rush my recovery. And then there had been this small part of me who had felt guilty for not being more happy about Tomohito's daily visits.

On the second day of my physiotherapy therapy, when he had come round for lunch I had been lying motionless on my bed, drenched in sweat. I can still remember how big his eyes had went in shock when he had stormed over to my side hectically checking my stats. I had grinned.

"Relax, I'm fine." I had breathed out.

"You look everything but fine! You had to go overboard as soon as you got a chance, didn't you?"

"Don't be so surprised. You should know me by know I never do things by halves. Besides my therapist said it was okay."

I had patted his hand lightly and that was it. He had not said anything on the subject afterwards, but I had seen the concerned look in his eyes every day. To tell the truth, I had been getting a bit annoyed, although I had known Tomohito hadn't meant it.

In fact, it had seemed to me that the better I had gotten the more worried my friend had looked. But whenever I had asked him what had been making him look so gloomy, Tomohito had waved it away, saying I was imagining things. So I had decided to keep up my training, if he would not speak.

The happiest day of my recovery had been, without a doubt, the one when I had first been allowed to walk on my own again. Granted it had been with crutches, but at last I had gotten out of the damn wheelchair. Fortunately I had not known that I would have to chalk down the following day as the most unpleasant one.

As usual Kyoko had come into my room after lunch and had helped me into the wheelchair. We had went down and out into the park of the hospital, where she had led me to a bench. Nearing it I had seen what had been lying there in wait for me: A pair of shiny silver crutches.

"Go on Haruka-san, take them and walk a few steps." Kyoko had said smiling when she had seen ho my face had lit up with joy.

Eagerly I had grabbed them, positioned them at my sides and then pushed myself out of the chair. And I had stood, albeit a bit shakily with my not broken leg wavering just a little under the sudden weight of my body I had been smiling like an idiot.

Tentatively I had walked or rather hopped a few steps ahead and then back to Kyoko who had seated herself on the bench. The joy of the moment had made me feel like a little child again; as if I had been back in our garden with my Dad.

"Look Kyoko-san, I can move on my own again." I had cried joyfully, hopping towards her.

"You deserve it Haruka-san, you worked very hard."

"And I'm going to keep working, so that I'll be in full shape again soon."

"I am sure you will." She smiled. "But still, don't overdo it. That's important. Otherwise it might negate all that you've achieved so far." She had been serious.

"I know." And I had known, but the impatience burned in me nevertheless.

"Sit with me for a moment while I shall explain your coming training and then we will walk around together for a bit."

Kyoko had patted the bench beside her. I had complied.

The next day had been the one where I finally got a visit from someone besides my family or Tomohito.

The nurse had only left with the remains of breakfast, when the door to my room had been opened again. I had looked up expecting see Kyoko. But Kyoko wouldn't never tackle-hug me like the intruder had done.

"Ouch!" I had cried out. "Be careful there."

"Sorry." Asami had said sheepishly, releasing me. "I was just so happy to see you again."

I had pushed her away. "Yeah sure, that's why you only come round now."

I had known it was a rude thing to do, but I had thought it deserving. I had been in the damn hospital for weeks and my so-called best friend hadn't once bothered to show up. I had been allowed to be at least a bit pissed.

"It's not my fault!" She had said.

"Right, you were so busy all the time." I had snapped.

Asami had held her hands up defensively. "Could you stop being snippy for a moment to let me explain?"

"Fine. I'm listening."

She had sat down on the foot of my bed, keeping her distance. "Well, I told you I was on a trip to my grandparents to help them out because my grandmother was sick a few days before your accident and that I didn't now yet how long I would stay. Asami had said.

"Yes." I had remembered as much. "But you can't tell me you were with your grandparents for so long, or did your grandmother fall seriously ill?"

"No, no, she's fine. A week in bed did wonders to her health, well as far as it goes at her age." She had grinned.

"That's good." I had been reliefed to hear it, but it did nothing to soothe my anger on Asami. "So what has kept you so busy? You had promised we'd meet up once you got back. Couldn't you phone or anything?" I had demanded

"I did call at your place when I came home, which must have been a five or six days after your accident and one of your maids told me you were sick. I asked her to deliver a message but obviously she never did. When you still hadn't called back three days later I was starting to worry and went to your house, but nobody opened the door."

I had stared at Asami but she continued. The story was beginning to sound strange.

"On my way back I recognised Tomohito's car coming up the road and on a whim I stepped onto the road to make him stop."

I had stared at Asami wide-eyed. "Are you nuts?"

She had giggled. " I don't know, but I succeeded in stopping him. You know he was pretty shocked."

"I can imagine that."

"Anyway, I asked how you were, if you were so sick you couldn't even call and he told me you were hospitalized but he wouldn't say more. Naturally I went here the next day after work, but they told me you couldn't receive visitors yet. I got that answer more than once and then suddenly it wasn't 'she can't receive visitors yet' but 'you are not allowed to see her'."

"What?" I had asked puzzled This didn't make sense. "But I never said anything the like to the nurses. I had so hoped you would come. I was waiting for you." Frantically I tried to make sense of Asami's about. It all had seemed as fishy as my memory.

"Oh I know it wasn't you're fault, otherwise I wouldn't be here today. I struck up a conversation with one of the younger nurses down by the reception and she told me the nice young man who comes to visit you everyday forbid to have anyone besides him and your family see you."

"Tomohito?" I had whispered unbelievingly at Asami's revelation. "Why would he?"

"Beats me." She had huffed. "Go figure, you're the one he's living with. Today was the first day the reception was unoccupied for a few minutes, so I could finally sneak up here to see you."

The story I had just been told had sounded like some crap straight from the TV screen, yet there had been no reason not to trust Asami's words. And somehow it had seemed to fit with Tomohito's strange behaviour. I would press him about it when he would visit me. First though I had owed someone an apology.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you Asami. I had no idea." I had reached out with one hand and she had taken it without any hesitation.

We had talked for a bit more, which had mostly been me counting off my injuries to Asami and telling her how physiotherapy had been going so far. I had invited her to stay and meet Kyoko for herself as she had been due to come, but Asami had declined, saying she should sneak out again before someone from the staff noticed her forbidden visit. I had told her to come again tomorrow, when I would have stated explicitly to the staff that Asami was allowed to visit me at every hour. She had smiled and after a hug, more gingerly this time, we had parted.

At lunchtime Tomohito had received a very frosty welcome when he had entered my room. I had decided to confront him heads on. As button-up as Tomohito had been in the recent weeks the element of the unexpected might help me.

"Hello Haruka. How are you feeling today." As usual he had been genuinely friendly.

"Do you mind telling me why the hell you imposed a visiting restriction on my best friend?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." he had said non-nonchalantly whilst placing his jacket on the hanger.

"Don't lie, you're not looking me in the eyes." I had stated flatly. "Besides Asami was here this morning and told me the nurses were forbidden to let her up."

"In that case I should probably consider going down to the reception and find out who was so disobedient."

"You will do no such thing. You stay here and explain your actions." I had demanded. "Otherwise I won't let you come visit me any more, you know you're not family."

He had regarded me with a commiserative look and had sighed so very deeply, as if he were dealing with the most stupidest person ever. I had been aware that my last sentence had been foolish, that I had ought to be grateful for Tomohito coming everyday although he was busy, but at the moment I hadn't been able to care less.

He had sat down beside the bed. "For one, it was exactly for this reason. I was sure she would upset you and you needed all the rest you could get."

"I'm upset because you kept her from me, not because she was here!"

I hadn't been able to face his pitiful gaze any longer and had looked out of the window. "You had no right to decide for me. I missed her and wanted to see Asami. Didn't that even cross your mind?"

"I did what I thought was best for you." His opinion had been settled. When he had spoken again his voice had grown softer. "Haruka, look at me please."

Slowly, reluctantly I had followed his request, had studied his eyes which had been as concerned as they had been all over the past weeks.
"Up until now I was perfectly capable of making my own decisions. Own small accident won't change that, my brain is not damaged after all." I had told him with wry smile.

"Stop playing dumb." It had been an exasperated sigh. "You can't have forgotten it all, by now according to the doctors your memory should have restored itself."

I had blinked wondering what Tomohito had been referring to, neither had I deliberately played dumb, nor had I had an epiphany bringing back the little missing pieces of my recollection.
He had continued without seeming to notice my confusion.

"You know you are my responsibility now and so I saw it fit to care for you and your affairs as I deemed it right." He had taken my hand, looking at me pleadingly. "You still know that I asked to be engaged to you?"

I had stared at Tomohito's painfully hopeful face in shock unable to give the reassurance he had asked. Instead I had felt my fingers grow cold in his hand. I had disentangled my fingers from his hand.
"Please, leave me alone for a bit." My voice had sounded hollow in my ears.

He had gotten up in silence and I had watched his back as he had exited silently, with hanging shoulders.