kml2355: I'm sorry for the confusion, but they don't know what's going on either. Really? Awesome. I hope this chapter isn't a let down.
M: Thank you, they did :) Haha glad you like protective Santana.
Ronniee .xo: Noo, not dead. She's still very much alive. Happy to hear that you liked that chapter :)
GoatAteMyMoney: I'm glad you're excited for Santana's powers :P I'm not sure how much longer, but I don't think it'll be too long.
BumbaMumbaJimJams: You totally read my mind! :P Glad you like it :) Tina isn't dead. This chapter is just about Brittana really, but next chapter we will learn more! Thanks, I am.. it think.
Do vd Graaf: Thank you :) I'm happy you guys seem to be liking protective Santana as much as I do.
gleeknumber1: Happy to hear you think so :)
Brittana100: She got sucked into a magic portal type thing and then raised some dead bodies. Nope, Tina is still alive. I'm sorry for the confusion, but it's kind of supposed to be confusing because they don't know what's going on either.
Thank you for your reviews and/or adding to alerts/favorites!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, The Darkest Powers trilogy, or the songs used.
Santana's POV
I don't know why I'm here again. I told myself I wouldn't be. I don't know about what, but Brittany was upset and I had to stay. I couldn't leave. But we're close. Too close. We don't have to be this close. Yet my arm stays around her.
It doesn't seem right to be sleeping in a bed like this with the girl your brother likes. Because it isn't. But of course I'm here, because I can never get things right.
It's not like we're doing anything, though. We're just sleeping. She needs me – someone – to be there, and it's a lot easier to have me here than for Puck to try to sneak back and forth. We're friends, I guess, so I should be there for her.
I finish my work quickly, even quicker than usual. I wish I hadn't, because now I don't have a distraction. All I can think about is her. It's seems like she's all I can think about anymore. I even made a few extra trips to the bathroom today so I could walk by the classroom to see her.
What is wrong with me? I shouldn't be thinking about her; not this much, maybe not at all. How can I allow my mind be consumed with her eyes and her face and her l- have I forgotten where I am? Besides the point of Puck, my fucking brother, liking her, we are stuck in a crazy house with our father god knows where. And here I am doing nothing... thinking about her! I should be thinking about how to get out of here and find my dad; how Puck and I can figure shit out.
Brittany's POV
Lunch time is finally here and we all shuffle out of the class and to the kitchen. I've never gotten around to asking Santana why she doesn't come into the classroom with everyone else, but I really should. I don't see her enough. I'm pretty sure I saw her walk by the classroom a few times today though.
Santana's sitting at the counter like she is most days as I walk into the kitchen. She glances over at me and gets up from her chair. She walks over to the table with me and we sit down with the others. She's in her usual outfit: a hoodie and sweats. Her hair is in the messy bun it's in half the time, too; it seems a little extra messy today. Of course, she still looks awesome.
"Dude," Puck says to Mike. "It was totally sick."
I'm pretty sure they're best friends; they're always talking and hanging out. I don't talk to him too much, but he seems like a pretty cool guy. I know that he likes to dance, because he told me that once when Puck told him that I liked to dance. But I've never seen him dance. Also, I'm pretty sure he has a crush on Tina; he watches her a lot. Not in a creepy way, but in a cute way.
"I don't know how much more of this healthy food I can take," Mercedes says. "I need my tots!"
I smile. Mercedes is a pretty cool person, too. One thing I've learned about her: she loves tots. I understand her frustration; I really want pancakes.
"Mercedes, while it is important to enjoy food, it is also important to have a healthy diet." Rachel tells her.
Need to know on Rachel Berry: she's very opinionated. She means well, but sometimes people don't take it the right way.
"Watch it," Mercedes warns. "Tots are everything."
I'm pretty sure tots aren't everything, because there is so much in the world. I glance over at Santana. I smile. She doesn't join the conversations much, but I'm pretty sure she's almost always listening.
"I feel your pain." Kurt says. "I am in need of some shopping."
Even though Mercedes hasn't been here very long, she already fits in. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, considering where we are. Her and Kurt have gotten really close, but nothing more than friendship. I don't think they'd look right as a couple, anyways.
"Who isn't in need of something that we can't have here?" Quinn says. "I think they could put anyone in here and make them crazy."
Puck huffs, "Tell me about it" and then returns to talking to Mike about whatever they were talking about before while the others start with their own side conversations again.
This is something I've found myself doing more recently: just observing instead of paying too much attention to what people are actually saying. I don't ignore them, but most of the time when we're at the table or have free time, everyone is busy in their own conversations so I just watch.
Santana is different though. I can't not pay attention to her words. When she's around, talking to me, anything, I feel like I have to pay attention to everything. Take it all in. Give her my full attention. Give her everything. Maybe I should give her some tots.
Lights out wasn't very long ago. I don't feel tired. I feel like I'm missing something. Mercedes and I talked for a few minutes, but she's asleep now.
There's a soft knock at my door. The soft knock that tells me exactly who it is. There's no point in trying to stop the huge smile that appears on my face. My door opens slowly, and closes even slower. I see her moving towards me in the dark and roll onto my side.
"Hi." I greet.
"Hey..." She says quietly, beside my bed now. "I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No."
She nods. "I, uhm... I just wanted to say goodnight." She rubs the back of her neck. "I couldn't sleep and I didn't see you before we had to go to our rooms..."
"Do you want to lay down?" I pull the covers back a little.
She shifts on her feet a little. "Okay."
She lowers herself onto the bed and then slowly slides to lay down. Our eyes meet and I see a small smile tug at her lips. She always holds her smiles back, and I'm not quite sure why. I think if she actually let herself smile, it'd be the most amazing thing, like, ever. Because her small little half smiles are already amazing.
I feel the material of her sweats brush against my leg.
"Do you always sleep in so much?" I question.
She shifts, and glances down. "Yeah, I mean, sometimes."
"You don't have to worry about being appropriate or whatever." I tell her. "I don't mind."
There was only that one night I saw her in a tank top and boxers, but most other times she's wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. It's not that she looks bad in them, they just don't seem like something I'd really want to sleep in. Maybe that's why she's so warm though.
She just nods.
There's a space between us that I kinda wish wasn't there. It isn't big, considering how small this bed is. We're actually pretty close, but it seems far. We're not touching; I wish we were.
My left hand slides across the space, just enough for my fingertips to touch her stomach. She glances down, but doesn't move. And then I feel her other hand against mine; she links her pinkie with mine. I don't think I've stopped smiling since she knocked on my door. My eyelids fall. It's crazy how much more comfortable this bed has gotten.
"I can go if you want to sleep." She whispers.
"You don't have to." I say, but what I really mean is: stay.
I think maybe she understood, because she doesn't move. I open my eyes to see hers closed, and then close mine again.
"She glanced this way"
"I thought I saw."
For a minute I think I'm dreaming.
"And when we touched she didn't shutter at my paw."
"No it can't be."
But it's definitely her. Her voice is soft and sweet and amazing. And she's singing to me. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm asleep.
"I'll just ignore."
"But then she's never looked at me that way before..."
Class seemed extraordinary long today for some reason. What is the point of so much useless math? It's horrible.
I walk over to Santana sitting at the counter. I smile at her and she silently gets off of the chair and we walk over to the table. Everyone's in their usual spots. We don't change our arrangements very often. As long as I get to set by Santana, it doesn't matter much to me. Everyone speaks across the table anyways.
I glance over to Santana. She's squinting her left eye awkwardly; she has an eyelash in it. I let out a small giggle as I watch her. With her left eye closed, she looks at me with a small scowl. I giggle some more and her face softens.
"Let me help." I tell her.
She leans back in her chair and mumbles, "I got it."
"San." I say.
She looks at me. I grab her wrist and pull her back. She watches me as I put one hand on her neck to try and keep her still and try to wipe the eyelash away with the other.
"Stay still." I tell her through a giggle.
I manage to remove it from her eye and she immediately wipes it. I nudge her with my shoulder. The corner of her lip twitches.
Santana's POV
I woke up in her bed again. I spent the whole day thinking about her again. Did the things I wasn't supposed to do again.
And now I'm sitting with Puck in his room before everyone has to go to their rooms for the night.
The stress ball comes flying at me. I snatch it before it hits my face. I send him a glare, but quickly look away.
"Not paying attention or trying to show off?" He chuckles.
"We need to find Dad." I say.
"Yeah," He says. "I know."
"So let's start doing something."
"I think we should start by talking to Brittany. I talked to her, about being a necromancer, but we didn't get a chance to talk long. We should all talk tomorrow."
Why hadn't she said anything to me? I'm the one that left the note. But I didn't talk to her. It's better for Puck to talk to her anyways.
"Yeah, sure."
I wait just long enough after lights out so I know the nurses are asleep. I slip on my sweatpants but decide not to put on my hoodie.
"Where are you off to?"
I turn around to see Quinn sitting up on her bed.
"Nowhere." I say.
"You've been going nowhere a lot." Quinn says.
"What do you care?" I growl.
"I'm just curious and don't want you to get in trouble or anything."
"Fuck off."
"I'm serious."
"You think I don't know about you sneaking off to Berry's room half the time?" I snap. "I can do whatever the fuck I want."
I leave the room.
So maybe I shouldn't have reacted like that, but I couldn't help it. I just like being around her; I don't need people bugging me about it.
And where do I end up? At her door. I knock softly, and open the door slowly. I see Brittany sitting on her bed right away.
"I'm heading downstairs." I tell her. "Do... do you wanna come?"
She's already halfway to me. "Yeah."
She walks out of the room and we head toward the stairs. When I feel her pinkie link with mine, I glance over at her. She smiles and I look to the stairs as we walk down. I can feel my heart thump against my chest rapidly.
Brittany's POV
"Do you want anything?" Santana asks as we walk into the kitchen.
"I'm not really hungry." I tell her. "But maybe something to drink."
She nods and pulls her pinkie away from me. I can already feel my hand getting cold as I watch her open the cabinet to grab some glasses. Without a hoodie on, I can see her bare arms; and now, as she reaches up and her tank top stretches, part of her shoulder and her lower back. I love the way her skin looks; so soft and amazing.
I don't realize I had been standing here, biting my lip and watching her, until she's in front of me with two glasses of water.
"Are you sure you don't want anything else?" She asks.
I nod. She leads me to the media room and we sit on the couch.
"Are you gonna play a game?" I ask as she hands me a glass of water.
"We can watch a movie," She says. "If you want."
"How about lady and the Tramp?"
"Whatever you want." She says, standing up.
I watch her as she sets up the movie and walks back to me. She hands me a pair of headphones.
"These are so we can actually have sound without getting caught." She tells me.
"Oh." I say. "Cool."
I take a sip of water, a small shiver running through me as the the water runs down my throat, and then put my glass on the table.
"Are you cold?" Santana asks as I'm putting on the headphones. "I can get you a cover or something."
She's already standing up.
"You don't have to." I tell her.
"No, it's fine." She says, walking out of the room. "I'll be right back."
She returns with a blue blanket and hands it to me.
I smile and spread it over my body. "Thanks."
She sits down next to me again and starts the movie. The blanket isn't huge, but it isn't tiny either. I glance over at Santana and scoot a little closer. She glances at me as I throw half of the cover over her. I catch her eyes and we stay still for a moment, silently looking into each others eyes.
"Britt," She says so quietly I almost don't hear. "I got it for you, you don't have to share."
I turn back to the tv and rest my head on her shoulder. "I want to."
I find her hand under the cover and link my pinkie with hers.
Santana's POV
Somehow, I end up in Brittany's bed again. So we're laying here, not saying a word, looking at each other. I don't know how she can look at me for so long. We haven't been sitting here for longer than a few minutes, but still.
Her fingers press against my stomach like they did before, but she doesn't look away. Her hand starts moving lower, and my stomach jumps. She pulls her hand away and then I feel it on mine. She takes my hand in hers, and drags in towards her. Our hands rest, still together, against her stomach.
"San?" She whispers.
"Yeah?" My voice cracks.
"Can we... can we cuddle?"
My body shivers and I almost pull my hand away, but I don't.
"Okay."
She pulls my hand across her stomach, and her shirt ruffles, causing my palm to graze her bare skin. My eyes close for a moment, but I quickly open them to meet hers again. She continues to pull my hand when my arm if fully extended. I shuffle a little closer. She drops my arm to drape over her side and puts her own on my hip before shuffling closer. There is no longer a space between us.
My heart crashes against my chest so fast.
And then her hand starts to move. It leaves my side and then I feel it against my chest. A moment of silence. Can she feel it?
"Are you okay?" She whispers. "Your heart is beating so fast."
Fuck, I knew it. I knew she could probably feel it. Fuck. Why is my body so crazy?
"Yeah."
She shuffles a little closer and nuzzles her head into my neck.
"I like it when you sleep here." She says.
I hug her closer. "I like it too." I confess.
Silence comes again. I let my eyes close and another shiver runs through me as I feel her body pressed into mine. How can I be so comfortable yet so.. guilty? I shouldn't be here. I really shouldn't. I shouldn't have taken her downstairs. Yet I did. Yet I'm here. Yet my arm is over her.
Brittany's hand moves from my chest and her arm drapes over my side.
"So warm." She mumbles.
I listen to her breathing. I feel her breathing.
I feel like I should sing to her again. I take a deep breath.
"This call is meant to be brief,"
"A simple hello ending with goodbye."
I move my fingers against her back gently.
"Then you say hello now,"
"I am melting,"
"And now my goodbye becomes a goodnight."
"I don't mind if you don't mind,"
"Please say you do not mind if this call"
"Goes on all night,"
"'Cause I have more to say."
"My afternoon was okay, my evening was fine, but this night,"
"I want it to be the best night"
"Of our lives."
"Sweet darlin', this is my confession to the crimes of wanting you"
"Badly."
"And darlin' if you're wondering,"
"Here's your answer:"
"Yes, I like you."
"I don't love you,"
"I can't love you."
I can feel myself wanting to cry.
"Yet."
"These calls are getting longer,"
"These nights go on"
"Forever."
"I do believe I'm getting better"
"Knowing you."
"Hopefully"
"All of you."
I shouldn't be singing this.
"Sitting watching movies,"
"We both know I do not watch a bit of it,"
"'Cause I am much too busy leaving my hand close enough"
"So you'll hold it."
But I want to.
"Sweet darlin',"
"This is my confession to the crimes of wanting you"
"Badly."
"Darlin' if you're wondering,"
"Here's your answer:"
"Yes, I like you."
"I don't love you,"
"I can't love you."
"And I cannot stop thinking about you."
"I cannot stop wondering if you're constantly thinking about me."
I feel a tear escape.
"Don't close your eyes dear,"
"I'm still staring,"
"I won't lie dear, I'm still breathing,"
"Even though your beauty is breathtaking."
"Sweet darlin',"
"This is my confession to crimes of wanting you"
"Badly."
"And darlin' if you're wondering,"
"Here's your answer:"
"Yes, I like you."
I take another deep, shaky breath before whisper the last words.
"I can't love you."
"I can't love you."
"Or at least I do not think I do."
I was going to post this last night, but I didn't start writing until late and my mind wasn't working (I don't think it ever does) and then around 12 I started doing good (My mind seems to work best around then) But then around 2 I started getting tired and I didn't want to rush the chapter to put it up because I do that sometimes and I end up mad at myself. Anyways, here it is and I hope you like it!
First song: Something there from Beauty and the Beast
Second song: Between the Trees - Darlin'
Rant: I'm so frustrated with myself. I have so many ideas for this story. I think about it all the time. I think about what I'm going to do, I write it in my head constantly. But then I go to write and it seems to disappear. I can't think of what to write, or I can't figure out how to write it, or I have something perfect a little down the line but I can't think of what to put in between everything/how to get there. Just... Ugh!