Chapter Nine

Jace POV

I walk Clary and Alec to the doors, Stephen holding onto my hand. I lift him up so he can kiss his mother goodbye and then they are gone. I'm glad I am not in the party on their way to try and reason with Clary's mother. She never had liked me, and I could just imagine her reaction to Clary admitting she gave to a baby - my baby - in her absence. It would not be pretty and I won't be surprised if someone returns home sporting injuries.

"What are we gonna do today?" Stephen asks me, his eyes that are an exact copy of my own staring up at me. Right now, in this moment, it's hard to think that someday he will be tall enough to look me in the eyes. I feel like I'll always see him as a little boy. My little boy.

His question leaves me blank. Maryse is currently out and about in the city, saying she had errands to run. Robert is in Idris for a Clave meeting, and Isabelle left shortly after Clary and Alec, claiming she wanted to look for Simon. We have the Institute to ourselves.

"What do you want to do today?" I ask, hesitating when he mulls it over. By the Angel let him pick something easy.

"Can we read a book?" I am amazed at how fascinated he is by books. He reminds me of myself when I was young. Reading had always provided a get away for me, an escape from Valentine's cruelty. Maybe Stephen and I are more similar than I thought we could be.

"Sure! Do you remember how to get to the library?" I ask, smirking at him. His brows pinch together in concentration. That's a bit of Clary in him. I also see her in the grace of his hand movements, whether it's something as simple as picking up a cup that Isabelle dropped or taking one of his crayons and scribbling it messily across the page. He may be my physical copy, but he has his mother's traits.

He drops my hand, nodding excitedly. "It's this way Daddy! C'mon!" He begins to run down the hall way, and I have to walk quickly to keep up with him. A few minutes later, and after a quick break to try and pet Church which is unsuccessful, we come to the wooden doors of the library. I'm impressed he remembers. He'd be quick to adjust to the Institute.

I realize with a jolt that he won't be permanent here. That I won't get to wake up everyday and see him sitting in the kitchen, sunlight setting his curls into a golden fire. If this is how it's going to be, and Clary returns back to her life, I may only have him for a few weeks at the most.

I don't know how I'll live without him.

Shaking my thoughts away I follow him into the library. He gets sidetracked by the glass displays and I explain to him what each one contains. The remaining faerie ring. The crown. The Clockwork Angel this is said to have been worn by my great-great-great something or other grandmother Tessa Herondale.

We end up sitting in one of the small alcoves, Stephen laid against my chest as I read to him. I read him one of the stories Maryse read Alec and I as young boys, not long after I'd moved here. It's a made up story about a young Shadowhunter boy who turns to the Downworlder he's friend's with for help. I believe it was made to stop hatred of Downworlder's in earlier ages but all in all it is a good story.

"-and so William drew his sword, letting the light hit its hilt, and all the demons in the land fled at its burning marvel. At last Idris was safe, and Maxwell and William could finally return home. Their job was done. The End,"

I close the book, setting it onto the floor. Stephen yawns, his small head resting against my chest. "I like that book," he decides at last.

"Me too," I agree, stretching out my arms. A spark of heat escapes, illuminating my skin, but I quickly shut it down. I'd learned to control the heavenly fire that possessed my body with time and practice and I surely didn't need to slip up and burn my own son. "When I was a little boy just like you my mother read it to me."

"Is ma-mar-maree," he stutters over the name, unable to pronounce it. He gives up, taking a new route. "Is she your Mommy?"

I smile softly. "No, not my real mommy. I never met my real mommy. But she acted like she was my mommy and that's all that matters."

"Where is your real mommy?" Stephen asks, tipping his head. I smooth his hair, letting my hand linger. He's so beautiful. It is easy to see how Clary manages to live him with her entire being.

"Gone away," I say at last. "But it's okay. Maryse is the only mommy I needed."

"My mommy is the only one I need too." He pauses for a moment. "How come you and Mommy don't live together? You could come to our house," he wriggles so he's facing me. "We have room for you."

My heart contracts, and pain engulfs me. I remember the hot summer day, only a few before Clary had left me, where I had been busily prowling the streets of downtown. I had been looking for something in particular and had finally found it. A ring, simple but elegant. I'd gotten it engraved minutes after. I'd had a quote carved into the underside. Love that moves the sun and all the other stars. Shadowhunters didn't do rings for marriage, but seeing as Clary had more of a mundane flairtone her I'd wanted one anyways. I had planned on asking her to marry me the day she left me in the greenhouse that night.

It never happened.

"You're remembering," Stephen says simply. I raise an eyebrow.

"How-"

"Mommy does it a lot. She gets that look too. Like she ate something really yucky and it's hurting her tummy."

I can't imagine Clary being sad about anything from her past life. Certainly not me. Stephen is the only thing tying is together, and if she chose to leave again that tie would be snapped until nothing remained. I would become broken again.

"What does Mommy remember?" I ask hesitantly, knowing I could be treading in dangerous waters. I might not want to know.

Stephen smiles crookedly, as if I've told him a joke. "You, Daddy! And New York. And good things. That's what she tells me." He puffs his chest out, proud that his mother tells him such important things. It feels like he's swept the floor out from under me.

I can't believe it. That there might be some small chance, flickering dimly in the dark, that Clary could still love me. I hug Stephen to me, and he hugs me back. "I love you," I tell him.

"I love you too Daddy. Please don't go away again." He looks at me, as of worried I might disappear.

I place a kiss gently against his forehead, holding him tighter. "I won't ever go away, Stephen. I promise."