All things considered - Sebastian thought to himself as he watched Kurt laugh and shimmy along with one of the many street-performers peppering the paths of Central Park - popping his dating-cherry had been a hell of a lot less traumatic than he had originally anticipated.
Of course, it hadn't felt that way when he had left Kurt's hotel earlier that day, head swimming with the slightly foggy realization that he was going to go on an actual, proper date with Kurt Hummel, that after everything that had gone down between them Kurt still wanted him, in some context that he wasn't completely sure of yet, and that for some unknown reason he had insisted on planning their evening antics.
Well, it wasn't exactly unknown, maybe more unwilling-to-admit-to-being-known, if that was even a thing. Sebastian had always assumed that dating just wasn't going to be a facet of his life because, let's face it, he wasn't exactly the marriage and 2.5 children type, and given his first and only experience of love so far, it had been fairly easy for him to swear off this whole commitment lark as unnecessary hassle.
But that had been before Kurt.
Kurt, with his bright laugh and easy smile, made the elusive appeal of that 'special somebody' reignite in Sebastian's chest, stirring embers he thought had long ago turned to ashes. Kurt, whose painted-on pants that would look ridiculous on anyone but him, who was dancing on a sidewalk with such abandon, like New York or maybe Sebastian himself was breaking a spell cast by a lifetime of Lima, Ohio, made Sebastian want to be better than 20-minute hookups in a seedy stall of some back-alley club. He had no idea what Kurt wanted from tonight; whether he was just looking for a night of fun in New York, or a chance to soothe his conscience about the last time they talked, or maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the same thing as Sebastian, but Sebastian knew that Kurt was special, that there were probably very few others in this big wide world that would make him want to give up the safety of his commitment-free ways and take a chance on having something more.
Well, whatever the reason, you only had one "first" date, and Sebastian was damned if he wasn't going to get the classic experience, with all available bells and whistles.
When he had called up the swankiest restaurant within walking distance of their two hotels (throwing his dad's name around just a little to ensure a table at such short notice) he had briefly tried to convince himself that he was just doing this for Kurt, to prove that he could be the perfect boyfriend, that he wasn't the sarcastic asshole he had been accused of being by Kurt and oh-so many others before him. But when he felt the warm bubble of happiness threaten to erupt out of his chest the second he put the phone down he knew that really, he was being entirely selfish. He wanted this so badly, the perfect date with the perfect boy, and it looked like tonight would be the night it actually happened.
Of course, the wide-eyed excitement on Kurt's face when Sebastian had casually mentioned that they would be dining at Jean Georges had definitely been one of the highlights of the evening. He liked seeing the usually reserved boy so unashamedly enthusiastic. He liked that he was the one to make it happen.
Their conversation throughout the most of the night had been free and easy, with the pair striking up their usual snarky banter almost immediately. But now that Kurt had unexpectedly decided to go all vampy on him their words were laced with layer upon layer of flirty subtext, and Sebastian could feel this blood humming in his veins during their lightning-quick back and forth; it was honestly the ultimate aphrodisiac. Well, that and the way that Kurt's leg kept not-so-accidentally brushing against his underneath the table. Talk about playing dirty.
There had only been one slight awkward moment during the whole meal, when Sebastian's curiosity finally got the better of him and he asked the question that had been on the tip of his tongue throughout the starter and main course. While they were waiting for the shared cheesecake that in Kurt's words "looks absolutely to die for, oh my God", the words fell from his lips without him really thinking.
"So I'm guessing you talked to David then?"
Kurt frowned, cocking his head to the side as he considered Sebastian's words. "Actually no I haven't, what makes you say that?"
Sebastian shrugged, looking down and playing with his cutlery as he tried to quash the blush starting to rise on his cheeks. "Well, you're here aren't you?"
He heard a soft sigh from Kurt, and then a hand reached out to cover his, forcing his hand back to the table and away from the sharp utensils that he had been toying with. "I didn't need to talk to David to know that you were telling the truth, and I'm...I'm so, so sorry, for everything I said at that stupid party and for everything that bastard did you-"
Sebastian laughed a dry, humourless laugh, forcing himself to paste on his usual confident expression as he looked back up at Kurt. "You live and you learn right? I'll never get played like that again. And don't worry sweetheart, you didn't break me with your diva meltdown in front of Ohio's elite. I guess that's one good thing to come out of everything that happened with George." When Kurt's brow crinkled in confusion, obviously not understanding how anything regarding George could possibly be good, Sebastian gave a small shrug. "So I got used and abused by some dick who was only interested in me for my mouth and my ability to work a printer. At least now I know how to stop myself from letting other people hurt me. I don't know about you but I think that's a pretty important life skill."
His cocky exterior started to crack, however, when Kurt continued to look like he could see right through Sebastian's blasé attitude, and like whatever he saw broke his heart. He gave a soft huff, and found himself twisting his hand so that he could clasp Kurt's in his. "I'm sorry, I guess my way of dealing with all this crap is to shut people out and act like I don't care. I'm really happy that you're here…and by you I mean those pants of course."
Kurt smiled hesitantly, recognizing Sebastian's comment for what it was and clearly torn between allowing Sebastian to change the subject to more fun topics of conversation and not wanting to let such a self-deprecating statement go untouched. Luckily, it was at that moment that their dessert arrived, and they both couldn't help but be distracted by the truly incredible delicacy in front of them.
"Well, if it helps, I called him, after I read your e-mail. George, I mean. And I may have sort of torn him a new one," Kurt replied, almost bashfully, before grabbing his spoon and hurriedly devoting all his attention to cheesecake.
And funnily enough, it did help. It really did.
There had to be some sort of irony to it - Sebastian thought to himself as he played back the dinner part of their date in his head while smiling and waving away Kurt's attempts to get him to join in with his horribly embarrassing public dancing - that even though Kurt had spent the majority of the evening teasing Sebastian mercilessly with long, extravagant licks of his spoon after every mouthful of food, and multiple trips to the bathroom complete with a saunter that was positively evil, it had been the pure, unadulterated groan of bliss that escaped from his lips on that first taste of that cheesecake, so completely wrapped up in his own enjoyment and unaware of just how damn sexy he sounded, that had Sebastian not-so-subtly pressing his palm into his crotch in what had to be the least perfect boyfriend move ever.
"Come on, Seb, dance with me," Kurt exclaimed, grabbing Sebastian's hand and trying to get him to twirl as the guitarist on the sidewalk struck up a tune that Sebastian thought was supposed to be "I'm a Believer", but he wasn't entirely sure.
Sebastian laughingly obliged, spinning underneath Kurt's raised arm somewhat awkwardly. "We look like idiots," he mumbled half-heartedly, fairly sure Kurt wasn't going to let him get out of this one no matter what he said.
"Speak for yourself, I look incredible," Kurt replied with a smirk, rolling his hips suggestively and laughing when Sebastian didn't even try to suppress his groan of appreciation. Snaking his arm out to grab at Kurt's waist he dragged the other boy closer so that they were face-to-face, mere millimeters apart. Sebastian's breath caught in his throat as he felt Kurt's warm breath flutter across his cheek, and he was suddenly very aware of how easy it would be to just tip forward and close that tiny gap between them, press his lips to that soft, delectable Cupid's bow that he knew tasted so damn good.
And if the way that Kurt's hands came to lock behind his neck was any indication, he would definitely not have objected in the slightest.
Except Sebastian was pretty confident that if he let himself dip down and take what he wanted, then the next step would be full-on grinding in front of this poor busker, and that was definitely not perfect boyfriend on perfect date material. He had a plan, and he was going to stick to it, damn it.
Drawing away with what seemed like an unbelievable amount of effort he raised an eyebrow and nodded over Kurt's shoulder. "How about we take a horse-and-carriage ride?"
He thought he heard Kurt huff with frustration, but the boy turned obligingly in Sebastian's arms, giving a small snort of laughter when his gaze fell on the white carriage parked up by the hot-dog stand. "Are you trying to use every cliché in the book?" he asked curiously, twisting back around and pressing in closer to Sebastian's suddenly over-warm body, grinding his hips like the sadist that he clearly was.
Sebastian gave a small shrug, desperately trying to keep his brain away from the thought of Kurt's cock rubbing at his leg through just two measly layers of fabric. PerfectBoyfriendPerfectBoyfriend PerfectBoyfriend. "I figured they're clichés for a reason. I kind of wanted to see what the fuss was all about, but if you don't want to-"
"I think it's a great idea," Kurt cut him off, his voice soft and earnest, and Sebastian was pretty sure he understood why Sebastian wanted, noneeded, to indulge in a paint-by-numbers New York first date. He stepped away from Sebastian's embrace and held out his hand for the other boy to take, the ultimate picture of gentlemanly respectability. But when they started to walk side-by-side over toward the cart he leant in close, so that he could whisper quietly for Sebastian's ears alone. "But for the record, that's not exactly the kind of ride I was planning on taking tonight."
Sebastian choked on air, looking at Kurt with wide eyes. Kurt raised an eyebrow challengingly, clearly loving the way he had Sebastian completely off guard, and Sebastian couldn't help but laugh. "Who would have thought that under all those layers Kurt Hummel was hiding a sex-crazed maniac?"
Kurt's face split into a wide grin, letting go of Sebastian's hand to loop their arms together. "Who would have thought that under all that bravado Sebastian Smythe was hiding a first-class romantic?"
Later, after they had ridden twice round the park laughing and joking and pressed just slightly closer to one another than strictly necessary given the dimensions of the carriage, they allowed themselves to be serenaded by yet another busker, their eyes not leaving one another as Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist and they slowly swayed to the soft introductory strains of 'Many of Horror'. Sebastian closed his eyes and let himself drink up the moment, beyond caring whether he looked like an idiot so long as he could look like an idiot with Kurt wrapped up around him like this. If tonight was all he ever had with Kurt, if it was all Kurt ever wanted from him, then this would be the moment he would take from it; this feeling of being perfectly happy, perfectly content. This was what people must mean when they talked about being in love, because there couldn't possibly be anything better than this.
When the song came to an end, they tipped the guy generously and then started lazily winding their way back toward the street, not in any particular hurry for their date to end but uncomfortably aware of the guards patrolling with flashlights encouraging the park patrons to be on their way - Sebastian was pretty sure New York cops were more tolerant of two boys holding hands than those they were used to back home, but seventeen years of Ohio living was pretty hard to shake in any case.
Eventually they ended up outside the front entrance of Kurt's hotel, and without warning Kurt twisted on the spot so that they were suddenly face-to-face, still holding hands, and Sebastian had to stop walking abruptly so that he didn't run the other boy over.
"I had a really great time tonight," Kurt whispered, rocking backward and forward on his heels and drawing his lower lip into his mouth as he smiled coyly up at Sebastian, and Sebastian found that his mouth was suddenly incredibly dry. Now how was that fair?
"Me too," he replied simply, not trusting his voice to take him any further, and then Kurt was reaching up on his tiptoes to press a soft, chaste kiss to Sebastian's lips, and all thought of talking was swiftly eradicated from his brain. Without thinking he brought their joined hands up to rest in-between their chests, sandwiched between them as they both surged forwards. Sebastian's arm looped around Kurt's waist, drawing the other boy closer, and for a beautiful, breathtaking minute his whole world was made up entirely of Kurt.
Then he felt Kurt's deft tongue flick against his lips, warm and wet and utterly intoxicating, and Sebastian knew that if he granted that tongue the entrance it was seeking he would be completely lost. And as much as his whole being was shouting at him to just give in, to take and enjoy and not worry about anything more than right now, deep down he still wanted to do this right. They both deserved to do this right, and the perfect date always ended with a kiss on the porch (or in their case in front of sparkling glass doors manned by curious-looking bellmen) and nothing more.
So, with what seemed like inhuman levels of self restraint, Sebastian let his arm slide away from Kurt's waist, dropping down to his side as he pressed ever-so-slightly harder against Kurt's lips, savoring the memory, then drawing away quickly before he changed his mind. And looking down into Kurt's dark eyes, a pink flush just starting to stain his cheeks, fuck did he want to change his mind.
"Call me tomorrow, Princess?" he rasped, his attempt at confidently casual completely obliterated by the clear desire that was lacing his voice. Without waiting for a response he spun on his heel and started to walk away. He needed to get back to his hotel room for a cold shower and the mother of all masturbation sessions, now.
"Sebastian Smythe, don't you dare take another step!"
Sebastian froze, slowly turning back towards where Kurt was still standing, hands on hips and eyes blazing. His demeanor was so different from the last time he had stopped Sebastian walking away from this exact building it was kind of hilarious, and Sebastian felt a little bit of his usual confident attitude seeping back in. Without really thinking he sauntered back towards Kurt, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Miss me already, babe?" he asked innocently, lips quirking into a smirk when he heard Kurt huff and roll his eyes in exasperation and really, being the perfect boyfriend on his perfectly-planned-and-executed date had been fun and all, but this? This was where they both excelled.
"If you think for one minute I'm letting you walk away from this building without fucking me senseless first, then you're a bigger idiot than I've imagined even in my very least charitable moments." Sebastian could see the pink flush rise higher on Kurt's cheeks as the crude phrase escaped his lips, even though he'd spoken quietly enough that no one could have heard him over the bustling street noise, but he locked eyes with Sebastian and lifted his chin just that little bit higher, staring Sebastian down defiantly, issuing a silent challenge along with his spoken words.
And honestly, when had Sebastian ever backed down from a challenge?
Quickly closing the gap between them, he dipped down so that his words ghosted over Kurt's ear as he whispered, "In that case, lead the way, babe," grinning as his close proximity meant he felt the shiver that ran through Kurt's body in response. When Kurt grabbed Sebastian's hand in a death-grip and all but hauled him through the glass doors, past smirking doormen, and into the elevator, Sebastian couldn't help thinking how stupid he had been; he had wanted the perfect date, and what could possibly be more perfect than this?
They managed to restrain themselves in the elevator on the tortuous six-floor ride up to Kurt's hotel room, though Sebastian mostly credited that to the elderly couple they were sharing the journey with; if it they'd been alone there probably would have been a whole lot less self-restraint and a whole lot more kissing. And groping, there would definitely be lots of groping. He managed to keep his own eagerness in check by watching out of the corner of his eye as Kurt tapped his foot impatiently, his fingers twitching every time the elevator pinged past another floor. It would have been adorable if it hadn't been so incredibly hot, but then again maybe the two didn't have to be mutually exclusive, Sebastian couldn't help thinking as he took in Kurt's angelic face and the wicked curve of his ass in skin-tight purple leather.
All self control was promptly abandoned, however, the second the door to Kurt's single room closed behind them, and Sebastian suddenly found himself with an armful of Kurt, and those devastatingly gorgeous lips on his once more, and this time when he felt Kurt's probing tongue he didn't hesitate to let his lips part, gasping slightly as he felt Kurt's tongue flick inside his mouth, and fuck but it felt like coming home.
As they moved over towards the bed, stumbling slightly as they stubbornly refused to be apart from one another long enough to check where they were stepping, Sebastian's mind couldn't help but catalogue everything that he remembered from the last time he and Kurt had been together like this - the feel of Kurt's hair as he trailed his fingers through it, the taste of Kurt's mouth on his lips and over his tongue, the intoxicating scent of Kurt that surrounded him as they pressed even closer when Sebastian's legs hit the edge of the bed and they both tumbled down onto the mattress – but also everything that was completely new. And it wasn't just the physical differences either; the way that this time it was Kurt leading their intimate dance, Kurt kissing down Sebastian's neck as he gasped for air and Kurt grinding his hip into Sebastian's crotch from his position sprawled on top of the other boy, one hand on either side of his head as he grinned wickedly at the wanton moan that escaped from Sebastian's lips. It was all that, yes, but it was also the emotional. Last time had been a quick, frantic fumble at a drunken party, with absolutely no talk of tomorrow or the future, and okay, when Sebastian's hips bucked upwards of their own accord into the firm press of Kurt's body there was undeniably the same desperate wantneedmore as last time, but when Kurt crashed his lips together with Sebastian's to capture the desperate cry that ripped from his chest, there was a warmth, an intimacy to his actions, and those were the actions that made Sebastian's heart hammer in his chest, that made him feel like he was struggling to breathe.
Kurt nipped lightly once more at Sebastian's lip before drawing away, smiling wryly as Sebastian whined in complaint and tried to drag Kurt back on top of him, holding out a hand to stop him as he wriggled back to standing.
"I, um, I'm just going to go get undressed in the bathroom. These things might look good on but they are seriously un-sexy to get on and off," Kurt said, laughing a small, slightly embarrassed laugh that made Sebastian practically want to eat him.
"Come off it Kurt, I'm pretty sure you could do the worm across this room and it would still be the hottest thing I've ever seen," Sebastian replied nonchalantly, waving a hand at Kurt to try and get him to come back to bed and not even caring that he sounded like the most ridiculous sap, because his words had brought that blush back to Kurt's cheek and maybe he had lied, because that was definitely the hottest thing he had ever seen.
Kurt ducked his head, but not before Sebastian saw the wide grin sneak across his features. "For your information I happen to be incredible at the worm," he snarked, lifting his gaze again and raising an eyebrow, "but I'm still going to get changed in the bathroom." When Sebastian pouted and made grabby hands at Kurt again he laughed and darted forwards, placing his hands on either side of Sebastian's face and kissing him swiftly. "Shhh you, I'll be back in a second; in any case, that's where the supplies are."
Sebastian figured his face must have pretty accurately displayed the subsequent short-circuiting of his brain, because Kurt laughed again, high and bright and beautiful, before whipping round and sauntering across to the bathroom, his hips gyrating far more than could possibly be natural.
For about five seconds after the door slammed behind Kurt's retreating form, Sebastian sat motionless on the bed, desperately trying to put his brain back together and failing every time he remembered that Kurt was now most probably naked on the other side of that flimsy piece of wood. Naked and acquiring lube and condoms. Naked and acquiring lube and condoms so that when he came back they could fuck. Possibly more than once. Oh sweet Jesus.
Somehow Sebastian managed to void himself of his own clothes by the time the door clicked open again, which was a feat in itself really considering his thought process didn't seem to be progressing past the Kurt-naked-fucking loop it had gotten stuck in. When the bathroom door opened again and Kurt's head peeked around it almost shyly, some of his bravado gone now that he was without his aubergine-colored armor, Sebastian scrambled up onto his knees and beckoned him over, wanting nothing more than to have this gorgeous boy back in his arms.
Kurt smiled softly and moved, rushing over towards the bed as if moving quickly might make him less self-conscious and practically bowling Sebastian over as their lips connected once more, and if Sebastian thought that kissing before had been good, it was nothing compared to now, with Kurt's warm, soft skin pressed flush against the full length of Sebastian's body, his fingers leaving sparks as they trailed across Sebastian's bare torso, inching slowly down between both of their chests to stroke lightly through Sebastian's neatly-trimmed pubic hair.
When Kurt's slender fingers wrapped firmly around his cock and gave an experimental tug Sebastian keened, arching up into the touch. "Fuck, oh fuck Kurt," he gasped as Kurt's hand started to move, stroking up and down the length of his shaft slowly, teasingly. Kurt smirked and dipped his head to start pressing hot, wet kisses to Sebastian's collarbone as Sebastian's hands scrabbled in vain for purchase against the bed.
"That comes later," he mumbled against Sebastian's neck, the vibrations tickling Sebastian's damp skin, before tilting his head upward so that Sebastian could fully see his devious grin as he very obviously started grinding his hips downward, his cock rutting against the groove of Sebastian's crotch, just momentarily brushing against Sebastian's own erection before rolling away, and Sebastian couldn't help thrusting desperately upwards, chasing the sensation. In one fluid motion Sebastian rolled the pair of them so that he was now the one on top, panting heavily as he tried to get himself under control. It had been a long time since he had let anybody toy with him like this; Sebastian Smythe was nevertoyed with.
"My turn," he whispered, the corner of his lip twitching upwards as he heard Kurt's breath hitch, and he very slowly and deliberately dipped his head to start pressing a trail of kisses along Kurt's neck, his hands planted firmly on either side of Kurt's body to steady himself. As he moved down to Kurt's collarbone, he rocked backwards so that he was kneeling in between Kurt's slightly spread legs, his elbows hitting the bed as if he was prostrating himself in-front of the deity that was Kurt as he worked lower and lower, tongue tracing across and down the toned ridges of the boy's chest, mapping out the layout of Kurt's incredible body with his mouth.
When he reached Kurt's bellybutton he couldn't resist pointing his tongue and dipping inside, earning himself a startled laugh and a swat to the head as Kurt writhed underneath him. "Stop, stop! Ticklish," Kurt gasped, shoving at Sebastian's shoulder, and Sebastian grinned as he obligingly sank lower. It was odd, sex had never had this playful quality to it before; he supposed that wasn't really the done thing on one-night stands. He liked it though. It did nothing to temper the arousal currently swirling in the pit of his stomach, but somehow seemed to complement it, surrounding the hot passion with warmth, with comfort, with security.
Reaching blindly to his left, he grabbed the bottle of lube that Kurt had flung on the bed when he had jumped him moments earlier, uncapping the lid with a soft click. The quiet noise seemed to ring loudly in the room, and he felt Kurt tense up momentarily underneath him. He frowned slightly, drawing away and sitting up straight as he tried to work out what had just happened. "Um- are you okay?" he asked slowly as Kurt stared up at him, chest panting heavily and eyes slightly guarded.
"What? Of course I am," Kurt muttered, leaning on one elbow as he reached up to grab at Sebastian's neck with his other hand to draw him closer again. He still seemed to be partly elsewhere, though, and Sebastian intercepted Kurt's hand, twining their fingers together as he brought them up to his mouth to kiss along Kurt's knuckles instead.
"You know, we don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want to," he whispered, hoping that Kurt could see the honesty in his eyes. Yes, okay, he was currently painfully hard and his brain was pretty much a mush of sexsexsex at this point, but more than that, more than anything, he wanted to do this one right. And if that meant doing nothing more than cuddling and falling asleep in Kurt's arms then he would accept that, accept it and be (almost) perfectly happy because of it.
It seemed, however, that Kurt would definitely not be happy with that scenario, because he scowled and slapped at Sebastian's shoulder, "Are you freaking kidding me? If we've gotten to this stage and you're still unsure about exactly how much I want this to happen then I've been doing something seriously wrong tonight!" Kurt paused, grinning slightly as Sebastian barked a short, somewhat relieved laugh, before his face turned serious again. "It's just - okay you know I'm - I haven't done this before, so just - well, at the risk of inviting a crack about my gender, be gentle with me. Please?"
Sebastian froze, their combined hands still held up to his lips as for the briefest of moments the whole world stood still in the wake of Kurt's revelation. It wasn't really a surprise, getting such unequivocal confirmation that Kurt was a virgin, at least as far as this was concerned; Sebastian had kind of assumed as much given their past interactions. But seeing Kurt lying there in front of him, already spreading his legs to offer Sebastian access, so open and trusting and completely confident about what he wanted to happen next, and more importantly who he wanted it to happen with? It was just such a stark contrast to Sebastian's first time, taken from him so long ago it felt like a completely different lifetime, that he suddenly found it hard to breathe.
This was how his first time should have gone; in a bed with somebody who cared about him, who would look after him, who would make sure he fell asleep feeling sated and happy and completely confident that he had shared this landmark event with somebody who truly deserved it. Sebastian was going to make sure that Kurt had all of those things, oh there was no doubt about that, but sometimes, especially in moments like these, he found himself mourning what he had lost; what he had given away to somebody who hadn't appreciated what an incredible gift they were receiving.
"I want you to do it." The words were out of his mouth before he even really knew what he was saying, thrusting the bottle of lube adamantly towards Kurt. Maybe he couldn't get his first time back, but he could reclaim this at least.
Kurt's eyes went wide as saucers for a long moment, and then he yanked his hand out of Sebastian's grasp, using it to slap Sebastian's extended arm away before scrambling up to a sitting position with an expression painted across his face that Sebastian struggled to interpret. He looked angry, and hurt, but also confused. "Is that some kind of joke?" he asked, voice wounded. "I just told you I've never done this before and you want me to - what? Prep myself? There'd better be a punch line here I'm not seeing at the moment or I'm going to be seriously reconsidering this whole thing."
Sebastian frowned, his brain taking a second to fully understand what Kurt thought he had been proposing. "What - oh fuck - no, no Kurt I didn't mean -" he stammered, shoving the bottle against Kurt's chest once again. "I mean, I want you to do it." Fuck, why was this so hard to say? "To me. I want you - in me. I want you to top."
This time Kurt didn't yell, or slap him, but his eyes didn't leave Sebastian's face as his hands came up on instinct to accept the proffered bottle. "Oh," he whispered, expression still slightly confused, before everything seemed to fall into place and his eyes lit up with understanding. "Oh. Okay. We can - I can do that. Yes, let's do that."
Sebastian laughed, glad that Kurt seemed to be as enthusiastic about this idea as he was (even if a small part of him was still heart-stoppingly nervous). "I figured you'd like the idea, I still haven't forgotten about those 'I'll fuck you' pants," he joked lightly, nudging Kurt's knee with his own.
Kurt smiled brightly, leaning forwards to kiss Sebastian hard on the lips, his free hand coming out to clasp around his neck and draw him closer. "Hey, they were good pants; they got your attention didn't they?" Then his eyes grew serious. "I guess I just never imagined that you liked to do … that, you know?"
He could have laughed it off, made some joke about wanting to give Kurt an easy ride for his first time, but something about Kurt made him want to be completely honest; to lay himself bare emotionally as well as physically.
"I haven't in a really long time, not since..." he began, trailing off with a shrug of his shoulders when the small hiss of sympathy from Kurt let him know that the other boy knew exactly who he was talking about. "It's what I always think about, when I'm alone, but since George I haven't trusted anyone enough. He took that from me, but I think - I think I want to take it back." Will you help me take it back? The unspoken end to that sentence hung in the air between them, and Sebastian almost couldn't take the sympathy (not pity, he told himself, not pity at all) that was written across Kurt's face. He dipped his eyes to the comforter, "I know it's silly..." he began, before being cut off by fingers underneath his chin pushing his gaze back up to meet Kurt's eyes.
"Thank you." It was just two little words, but they somehow managed to convey everything; thank you for telling me, thank you for trusting me, thank you for being here, thank you for still being here, Sebastian took a deep, shuddering breath, forcing himself to shake off the cloud that had started to cling to him. "Right, enough of this emotional crap, are you going to fuck me or what?"
Kurt grinned, and in an instant Sebastian had been flipped onto his back, with Kurt nestled between his legs. "Alright Mr. Impatient, no need to get bitchy."
Sebastian's mouth was already open, ready to snark that there was no way he was the bitch in this relationship, but then he felt a cool, slick finger start to slide against his hole, and he made the executive decision that talking was completely overrated. He gasped and let his head loll back against the pillow behind him as he felt just the tip of Kurt's index finger already breaching him. "Christ, what happened to 'I've never done this before?'"
"I guess I'm just a natural. Tell me if it's too much," Kurt whispered, one hand coming to stroke along Sebastian's thigh as he slowly worked his finger inside Sebastian's hole. Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and told himself to remember to breathe – fuck it had been a long time.
Kurt took his time, stopping more than once to re-coat his finger with more lube, and as soon as Sebastian got over the initial adjustment he lifted his head to watch Kurt work, his brow furrowed in concentration as he carefully stretched Sebastian out, and Sebastian was really going to have to come up with a whole new scale for "hottest thing he had ever seen", because seriously, how was that even fair?
When Kurt added a second finger, the burn tipped over into that fuzzy realm of painful pleasure, or pleasurable pain, and Sebastian unconsciously started arching into Kurt's touch, thrusting down as Kurt pumped his fingers. Kurt started moving faster to meet with Sebastian's movements, and when he bent his fingers and hit that sweet spot Sebastian had almost forgotten about Sebastian cried out loud, his hands scrabbling at Kurt's shoulders to make the other boy tip forward and swallow up the sound with his lips on Sebastian's.
By the time Kurt added a third finger Sebastian was a babbling mess, begging Kurt to just pleasepleaseplease fuck him, because he could take it, he could handle it, he just needed Kurt inside of him ohfuckyes just like that please god he needed more, he needed everything. Kurt ignored Sebastian's pleas, kissing away each argument as he continued to open Sebastian up, twisting and scissoring until he was completely sure he wouldn't hurt the other boy. When he finally, finally rolled a condom onto his length and lined up with Sebastian's entrance, there was a moment where the two boys locked eyes, and Sebastian was pretty sure that he would never forget that moment for as long as he lived, and then Kurt entered him and the whole world turned white.
Kurt started cautiously, sinking slowly in until he was buried completely in Sebastian's ass. He held himself there for a long moment, his grip on Sebastian's knees turning white as he struggled to get himself under control. "Oh fuck, Sebastian, oh my God," he breathed harshly, his whole body trembling with the force of keeping still.
"Uh huh, yes, yes I agree completely," Sebastian gasped, thrusting his hips desperately forwards to get something, anything, more. "It's incredible, mind-blowing, I get it, but can you please move before I die or something equally tragic."
Kurt cocked an eyebrow, grinning at the flailing boy underneath him. "Your wish is my command, Princess," he drawled, drawing out slowly so that only the very tip of his cock was still inside Sebastian, before quickly slamming back in so hard Sebastian was pretty sure he felt the bed shake.
Both boys moaned, and Kurt flopped forward onto Sebastian's chest, panting harshly. "Okay, you make me do that again and this might be over embarrassingly quickly."
Sebastian wriggled underneath Kurt, rolling his hips in circles and allowing himself to drown in the incredible combination of the sparks of pleasure that the action was causing to shoot up his spine and the most intensely sexual noises he had ever heard escaping from Kurt's lips. "That's fine, we can go again. And again, and again, and again."
Kurt gasped out a laugh-groan, obviously enjoying the mental image of a night-long sex marathon, and he started to thrust into Sebastian, hard and fast, and with every slap of skin on skin, with every breathless moan of pleasure, Sebastian felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge.
"Touch me, Kurt, please," he moaned, hands scrabbling at the back of Kurt's neck and drawing the other boy into a frantic kiss as Kurt's hand snaked between them and started jerking Sebastian off, his movements erratic as his hips started to stutter and lose their rhythm. All it took was a twist of Kurt's wrist around Sebastian's head and he was coming in thick white streams, coating both his chest and Kurt's as he saw stars. The feel of Sebastian's come hitting his chest seemed to be the tipping point for Kurt, too, because the next second Sebastian felt Kurt's whole body tense up, and then he came in a wordless cry before flopping down on top of Sebastian, completely spent.
They were hot, and sweaty, and Sebastian's release seemed to have gotten everywhere, but when Kurt carefully pulled out, tying off the condom and throwing it in the trash before disappearing into the bathroom to return a second later with a warm washcloth to gently clean them both up, Sebastian wouldn't have had it any other way.
In the end they didn't go again; by the time they had finished putting themselves back together they had come to some form of silent agreement that the next step would be cuddles (lots of them) and inane chatter where they both snarked about the other's sexual prowess and embarrassing sex noises, the tightness of their embrace and the way their conversation was constantly interrupted by kisses betraying their real feelings on the matter. Sebastian just about had the presence of mind to check morning contingency plans - "So am I going to have to sneak out at the crack of dawn to avoid getting a nasty wake-up call from Daddy dearest?" "Don't be silly, I'll meet Dad downstairs for breakfast and you'll have all the time in the world to make yourself presentable for your walk of shame." - before falling asleep to the warm press of skin-on-skin and the soothing sound of Kurt breathing softly next to him.
Kurt had no idea what time it was when he woke up - the heavy curtains blocked out any daylight that might be happening outside the window - and he honestly didn't care. Sex was wonderful, sex was everything he had dreamed it would be and more, but waking up, naked, tangled up in the person you had that wonderful sex with the night before was a very close second.
Sebastian was spooned around him, their legs intertwined, one arm draped over Kurt's rib cage, the soft flutter of his exhales tickling the back of Kurt's neck. And Kurt realized that if this was all there was, just this one night and back to their separate existences (although he was starting to harbor a very secret seed of hope that this wasn't all there was going to be at all) then as amazing as making love to Sebastian had been, this was what he was going to remember. Being held, no, cradled, really, in Sebastian's arms, pressed back into that broad chest, feeling it rise and fall as he breathed.
To be able to wake up like this, every morning, to have a right to it, would be perfect happiness.
But just in case it was just for today, Kurt held perfectly still in Sebastian's unconscious embrace, nothing moving but his dick, which apparently felt that Sebastian's hand was close enough to warrant progressing from its normal morning thickening to full-blown needy erection.
He must have moved or made a sound because Sebastian stirred and his next exhale rolled its way up from his chest in a contented rumble. The hand draped over Kurt's ribs flexed and pressed against his abdomen and Kurt felt his cock give a little hopeful surge that bumped it against the back of Sebastian's fingers.
"Mmmm. What have we here?" Sebastian's voice was deep and morning-husky and his fingers were soft and lax as they trailed down Kurt's length and back up again. "So this is how it feels to wake up next to a gorgeous guy who's hard for me."
"Don't flatter yourself," Kurt said. "This happens every morning."
"Really?" Sebastian pressed his lips against the top of Kurt's spine, leaving little kisses on his skin between words, and Kurt could feel Sebastian's dick hardening in turn against his own ass. "And what do you usually do about it?"
"I usually wait for it to go away then take a shower," Kurt said.
Sebastian trailed a finger up his shaft and over the head before moving away completely. "Well I'd hate to mess with your routine..."
"Don't even think about it." Kurt grabbed Sebastian's hand and guided it back to his dick, grinding back against Sebastian's erection as added incentive. He swore he could feel Sebastian's lips curve up in a smile against the skin of his back.
"Whatever you say, Tiger."
Kurt huffed. "Tiger? Does that mean I've graduated from 'newborn kitten?'"
"Sex kitten is more like," Sebastian replied, and Kurt could hear the smirk in his voice. He twisted his head around, eyebrows pulled together in a look that had nothing to do with morning-after bliss.
"What?" Sebastian asked, suddenly serious.
Kurt hesitated, then turned back toward the window. "Nothing. It's nothing."
Sebastian's hand left Kurt's dick again, and pressed into his chest, turning him onto his back so they were looking at each other again. "Don't do that. If I fucked up, tell me."
Kurt bit his lip. "No, not really. It's just…"
"What?" Sebastian insisted.
It felt almost too vulnerable to say, when that was the way they'd always played. But here, like this, it didn't feel right any more. "It's something you call a girl. Sex kitten."
Sebastian propped himself up on his elbow and stared down at Kurt for a long time, and Kurt could see he felt unsure about something, but he just waited in silence for Sebastian to decide whether to speak or not.
"The thing is," Sebastian finally said, "I don't really think that bothers you. Not really. You couldn't be so completely who you are if you didn't totally accept all the things that make you you. The way you dress, the songs you sing, I think you like that you have some...feminine qualities. I think you want people to appreciate both sides of Kurt Hummel."
It was kind of a lovely speech, much more intuitive than anything he'd ever expected to hear from Sebastian, and much more eloquent than anything he'd ever managed to come up with in his own head for why he insisted time and time again on flaunting his uniqueness in a town that would only bring him misery for it. Kurt felt warmth blossom in his chest as he realized just how much Sebastian got him, and he rewarded the other boy with a quick kiss and a return to their previous position, curling back against Sebastian's chest and pulling that nimble-fingered hand back to wrap around his cock.
"I just think," Sebastian continued, lips soft against Kurt's ear, "it pisses you off when people assume that being a little bit girly makes you any less of a boy." His hand squeezed around Kurt's erection. "But I don't think I'm likely to forget that any time soon."
They lay in silence after that, Sebastian still stroking gently and rubbing his own hard cock in lazy circles against Kurt's ass. Eventually, when Kurt couldn't hold still any longer and began to thrust back and forth between the twin points of stimulation, Sebastian let go with a soft, "Just give me a second," and came back, after a moment of fumbling, with a lube-slippery hand that slid against Kurt's skin in the most delicious way.
It would have been easy to just lay there and let Sebastian pleasure him, but Kurt wanted more. He turned around in Sebastian's embrace, stretching out so that their cocks pressed together, slid against each other so perfectly that Kurt never wanted it to end.
"Good morning," Sebastian smiled, and he reached down and wrapped his hand around both their cocks, squeezing them together to increase the friction of their slide, and jerking them at the same time in a push-pull of sensation that was like nothing Kurt had ever felt before.
"Morning," Kurt managed before he closed his eyes and threw his head back to surrender to the overwhelming pleasure building in his balls, his dick, his belly. "God, that's amazing."
"Open your eyes," Sebastian said softly and Kurt obeyed and found Sebastian's gaze intent on him. "Keep them open. Just look at me."
It shouldn't have been a hard thing, but it was, staring into those deep green eyes as Sebastian's hand gripped him and the pleasure spread deep and strong. A moan forced itself out of Kurt's throat and it was so painfully intimate that he surrendered and let his lids drop closed.
"No, don't hide. Show me." Sebastian's voice was breathless and pleading and so unlike him.
Kurt opened his eyes again. "It's embarrassing," he tried to explain but Sebastian was already shaking his head.
"No it's not. It's fucking gorgeous."
So Kurt kept looking, and Sebastian kept stroking, and soon they were both moaning, eyes locked on each other, offering the sounds of their pleasure to each other and Kurt had never felt so open and raw in his life. His orgasm built and built but Kurt held back with everything he had, trying to keep this moment of unexpected beauty, closer than he had ever felt to another human being. But eventually he couldn't help thrusting into Sebastian's hand, against his cock.
Sebastian's eyes narrowed and his lips tilted in a beautiful smile. "Oh, fuck yeah," he gasped and he shuddered once, hard, eyes still locked on Kurt's, and Kurt could see it - the exact moment when he dropped over the edge - then his eyes finally closed and he was coming, hot against Kurt, and with two more thrusts Kurt was following him, pulling Sebastian as close and tight as he could.
As they came down Kurt felt an unexpected and overwhelming desire to cry.
But Sebastian was laughing, loud and free, a captivating sound, and Kurt opened his eyes to a bright smile. "God that was good," Sebastian said, "better than waiting for it to go away, right?"
"I'm a little disappointed, actually," Kurt said, but he draped himself over Sebastian's chest, despite the mess between them, and teased his lips over the skin of Sebastian's neck.
"Disappointed?"
Kurt pulled back a little and smiled. "Well, I was sort of hoping we could - reverse what we did last night. So I could feel you like that, you know?"
Sebastian's hand - the clean one - came up and cupped Kurt's face. "Next time, okay?" he said simply.
And Kurt might have cried at that if his phone hadn't chosen that exact moment to ring. Saved by the bell (or Defying Gravity) indeed, he thought as he reached for it, then groaned.
"Hey Dad."
"What happened to breakfast?" His dad's voice was loud and morning-cheerful in his ear, and from the chatter in the background Kurt could tell he was already downstairs waiting.
"What time is it?"
Sebastian picked up Kurt's free hand and began to toy with his fingers.
"It's 8:30. I thought we were gonna meet in the restaurant."
Kurt felt lips, then a tongue, tease against the tip of his index finger.
"Um - yeah - I guess I overslept. I'll be down in twenty minutes."
Sebastian's mouth moved on, teasing one fingertip after the other.
"Okay, I suppose I can nurse a cup of coffee for half an hour."
"Great. Good. See you." Kurt hung up and let his head fall back on his pillow. "I really like that," he gasped as Sebastian's tongue swirled around the pad of his thumb.
"I know. That's why I'm doing it."
"But I have to meet my dad in twenty minutes," Kurt protested.
"Not my problem," Sebastian purred and slid his lips down to Kurt's palm.
Suddenly the voice of Britney Spears filled the room and it was Sebastian's turn to reach for his phone.
"Mom. What's up?"
"Womanizer?" Kurt mouthed soundlessly at Sebastian.
"Oh, well, I decided to meet Kurt - for breakfast. Yeah, I'm on my way there now." He waved off Kurt's attempts to signal him. "Oh, um, okay. If you want to. I'm sure that's fine."
"Womanizer?" Kurt said out loud this time as Sebastian hung up.
"David did it," Sebastian explained, staring down at his now-silent phone. "My parents are coming for breakfast."
"What?!"
Sebastian looked up then, and lifted his shoulder in a shrug that, if it was meant to be nonchalant, failed miserably. "I said I was having breakfast with you, and my mom said she and my dad were coming over to - join us."
"And my dad!" Kurt reminded him, a slight note of panic in his voice. "Do they always do this?"
Sebastian shook his head. "I have no idea. I've never really told them about anyone since...you know. I think this may be some kind of protective thing. They're probably worried that my judgment is as bad as it was...fuck!" He looked helplessly at Kurt, as if Kurt could somehow fix this.
"Yeah," was all Kurt could think of to say. "Fuck."
The next twenty minutes were a scramble of blinding sunlight through suddenly opened curtains, wet washcloths, toothbrushes, yesterday's clothes and "Just pull the blankets up for God's sake, Kurt, it's not like motel maids never see come-stained sheets!" Kurt insisted that Sebastian get off the elevator at the second floor and take the stairs down to avoid suspicion.
The elevator doors opened on a lobby that was sparkling with sunlight from the two-story glass wall over the main entryway. He spotted his dad right away, standing just outside the hotel restaurant talking casually with two people whose backs were to Kurt, but who must have been Mr. and Mrs. Smythe. Kurt could only imagine that Sebastian's parents recognized his dad from some political event, because they were chatting like old friends.
"Finally! I've been looking all over for you!" The too-loud voice, so close, made Kurt jump and Sebastian latched an arm around his waist like he thought Kurt might just run away. All three adults must have heard because they turned in unison, and six eyebrows rose almost comically at the sight of them standing there together. "Let's get this over with," Sebastian hissed in his ear and pulled him along, arm still wrapped tightly around him, towards the parents.
There were introductions and hand shaking and Kurt knew he should have been paying attention to what everyone was saying, and who looked suspicious, but his brain couldn't seem to get past the fact that Sebastian was standing in a hotel lobby introducing Kurt to his dad while holding him like a boyfriend. Like a lover.
Mr. Smythe was in the middle of explaining how he'd been working for weeks to try to get a meeting with Burt Hummel to discuss policy issues that had come up on a recent case of his, and wasn't it fortunate that his own son was dating the Congressman's son, and Kurt was trying to decide if he'd been transported to some alternate universe or if maybe his every dream was coming true when he felt a buzz against his leg and Idina Menzel's voice floated up out of his pocket.
Rachel's face filled his screen and he muttered an "I'm sorry, I have to take this," before drifting away from the group.
"Hey Rachel, what's up?"
All he could hear was crying. And not Rachel-drama-queen crying but real, wrenching sobs that sent his stomach into a panicked twist. "Rachel? What's wrong? Are Finn and Carole okay?"
"Oh, God, they're fine. I'm sorry!" she said between gasping breaths. "It's just, you won't believe it."
"Okay, you're scaring me."
She sniffed sharply, twice, and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I just - we just found out and - oh God, I don't know what we're going to do."
Kurt moved farther away from Sebastian and their parents and clutched at the edge of one of the tables scattered around the lobby. "Just tell me. What the hell happened?"
"We're disqualified. We can't compete at Regionals." She ended the last word on another sob and Kurt's grip on the table tightened as he tried to wait it out without screaming at her to get it together and tell him everything.
"Rachel. Can you please calm down and tell me what happened? I'm trying not to panic here."
"You need to panic. Kurt, I don't know how..."
"Why? Why are we disqualified?"
Rachel sniffed again, then he heard her blow her nose. "It's the Warblers. Somebody took a video of them practicing - all their songs and arrangements and the dancing and everything - and they e-mailed it to all the other teams."
Kurt took a deep breath. "Okay, someone, but nobody from McKinley would have done that."
"They traced the e-mails. They were sent from our computer lab, on Thursday during school hours. And the original footage was uploaded on one of them and now we can't compete and what's going to happen to our chances of getting into NYADA with this on our records?"
She dissolved again into long, shaky sobs and Kurt felt like he wasn't far behind her. "Do they have any idea who it was, though?" he asked. "Nobody on our team would cheat like that!"
"It was on our computer, Kurt! And who else would do it? Who else could have done it?"
You, you, you are womanizer, womanizer, womanizer . . .
Sebastian. Kurt's heart sank even further and he couldn't keep the tears from starting in his eyes at the Britney song echoing out from Sebastian's phone. He knew exactly what that call was about. Between the lobby noise and Rachel's sobbing in his ear he didn't hear Sebastian answer it, but Britney cut off abruptly after a couple more bars.
It took him a few breaths to get his emotions under control before he could turn around to assess the damage.
Sebastian was staring right at him, listening to whoever had called to give him the news, and the light pouring through the wall of glass behind Kurt lit him up like a spot that seemed to throw everything else into relief against him. So Kurt saw it, in high definition 3D, when the briefest look of shocked betrayal filled Sebastian's eyes and then disappeared as fast as it came, and suddenly the Sebastian that Kurt had spent the night with was gone, shut down behind an expression of careful disinterest. Sebastian listened, then spoke, then listened again, all the while staring at Kurt as if he was some vaguely interesting stranger Sebastian happened to have spotted at that moment, while their parents continued to chatter obliviously just steps away.
"Mr. Schue has been calling everybody, trying to get whoever it was to confess and we all have to meet with Principal Figgins on Monday with our parents and people keep saying that if no one comes forward we're all going to get marks on our permanent records..."
"I have to go Rachel. I'll call you back."
He cut her off mid-sentence and stayed where he was, eyes locked on Sebastian's, shaking his head in denial of whatever Sebastian was hearing from his phone. He wanted to believe that Sebastian would know he wasn't capable of doing something like this, but he also knew that this was exactly what Sebastian had feared. The thing that had kept him from ever really connecting with anyone. He'd sworn he would never let anyone use him the way George had done, and now...
With one swift move Sebastian ended his call and slid his phone into his pocket. He took several steps toward Kurt, his face still perfectly blank, coming just close enough to be heard but no closer.
"Sebastian, you have to know I didn't have anything to do with this. I would never - none of us would ever - there has to be more to this somehow." Kurt knew he was pleading but he didn't care. They'd been so close. Sebastian had stood there with his arm around Kurt's waist, had told his parents that they were dating. He'd opened himself to Kurt the night before, both figuratively and literally. He'd held Kurt in his arms that morning and come, staring into Kurt's eyes like they were his anchor. And remembering that, Kurt's eyes filled with tears again and he blinked furiously to keep them from spilling over.
The sight of Kurt's tears did something to Sebastian. Tiny cracks began to show in his carefully detached expression. One hand lifted just the slightest bit, almost reaching to touch but when Kurt reached his own hand out to meet it Sebastian pulled it back sharply.
"Please, Sebastian," he begged unashamedly. "I swear to you, I had no idea. Don't - don't let whoever did it hurt us like this. Please."
But Sebastian had himself back under control, his mask of indifference firmly in place. "I have to go," he said, making abruptly for the doors, and only the strain in his voice gave anything away.
"Sebastian!" Kurt called after him, but he kept walking, through the doors, into the sunlight, out, Kurt was sure, of his life.
Kurt turned and ran for the elevators, catching just a glimpse of the three adults staring at him with gaping mouths, but he ignored his father's voice calling him back. He held on long enough to get to his floor, key open his door, and latch it behind him before he collapsed on the blanket hiding his come-stained sheets and cried.