Chapter 10 White rabbit
The soft splashing of the aquarium was the only noise in the apartment, the yells of children floating through the opened windows every now and then. The air outside was flirring with heat, jammed in the streets, caught between the houses that were hemming them. Sunlight was dancing through the glass cube that was filled with water, throwing lively reflections on Van's expressionless features.
He was watching a swarm of striped fish winding their way past feathery plants with eyes that were the colour of a foggy sunrise in spring, dark lashes forever framing them like the still lingering dark of the night.
The coffee that had been placed for him on the counter in the kitchen had long turned cold, the cornflakes slowly dissolved in a bowl of milk. When he had awoken, the apartment had been forsaken, his brother and the twins at work. Van hadn't seen his brother since this last Friday when he had shown him the wings. Without saying anything, Folken had walked out on him and had been avoiding him quite successfully throughout the whole weekend.
It had hurt. That day, he had seen something in Folken's eyes which he had never experienced before – rejection. Pure rejection.
His fists clenched involuntarily and his nails dug deep into his palms, only the muffled noise of keys clinking made him finally snap out of his thoughts. The door to the flat slowly opened and Van's heart instantly skipped a beat. He knew it was Folken.
It was silent after the door closed again with a quiet click and Van felt his brother's eyes boring into the back of his head, goosebumps crawling all the way up his spine. There was no shuffling of feet, no rustling of clothes, Folken standing motionlessly in the entrance to the living room. Van heard him taking a deep breath, before the familiar deep and sounding voice filled the room, hesitant and a bit raspy as if his vocal cords still needed to get used to the word that hadn't been formed by them for so long. "Van."
"Folken," the raven-haired youth replied flatly and rose swiftly from his chair, walking over to look out of a window. His fingers closed so tightly around the window sill that his knuckles turned a pale white. Of course, he was angry. "You finally decided to talk to me again."
"I'm sorry," Folken sighed defeatedly and ran a nervous hand through his messy, aqua-blue hair. "I'm so sorry, Van, but..."
"But what?" Van barked when his brother trailed off and turned sharply around, angry auburn eyes flashing from behind strands of pitch-black hair. "But you simply didn't want to talk to your repulsive brother? Didn't want to see the freak?"
"But you have to understand me!" he shouted angrily over Van's ranting, brown eyes narrowing.
"Oh, I understand perfectly fine!" Van countered quickly and his fists were shaking at his sides, rage the very essence of his words. "I could read very clearly in your eyes what you thought of me that very minute!"
"Van, no," Folken replied exasperatedly and burried his hand in his hair, shaking his head softly. "No, you don't. There were things I really believed in, you know? Things that kept my life and my mind in order. And then, you happen; you who I thought dead for eighteen years, you who is keeping this incredible secret!"
Van was just staring back at his brother with unreadable eyes, his jaw clenched. "You were like a gust of wind that crushed my beliefs as if they were a house of cards," he continued and gave a laugh. "You know, these last days, I was doubting my state of mind quite a lot. I thought I imagined everything but when I saw you asleep with the gashes so clearly visible on your back, I knew that everything was true and I simply couldn't believe it. At first, I didn't even want to believe it. I needed time, Van. I needed time."
What would you have done?
Her voice was suddenly echoing throughout his mind, her words reveberating from every fibre of his body and his hands immediately uncurled. It was like a soft hushing that soothed the boiling rage within him, his features relaxing.
At once, guilt was washing over him like waves over a seashell hidden within the sand of a beach. He had needed time to adjust to the sudden changes in his life but he had refused to allow his brother a minute to breathe. He had demanded for Folken to accept everything right the second he was told about it, had demanded for him to accept that he had lived a lie as well. How egoistical he had been.
"I'm sorry," Van said suddenly and quietly into the silence, his posture straight but unbelievably tired, making Folken look up in surprise. "I think I just didn't expect you to act like that."
"Like what?" his brother countered, both brows lifted in surprise, and absently scratched his healthy arm with metall fingers that were jacketed with an elastic skin immitation. Van watched the movement attentively when the prothesis turned fluently, strikingly resembling a real arm if it hadn't been for the metal joints.
"Like you were scared beyond sanity," the young man answered monotonuously, eyes glued to the artificial arm of his brother. "Back in the lab, I had never been confronted with such a reaction. The people there were simply used to it."
He gave a hollow laugh and smiled up at Folken, making him inhale sharply. The smile was a mere twitch of his lips, so full of disdain, that didn't intend to warm his eyes and left them completely untouched, left them cold.
"That lab," Folken muttered and shook his head, sitting down on a bar stool beside the counter that secluded the kitchen. "It's impossible! By the Gods, everything you told me is impossible!"
Van returned Folken's intense stare a moment longer, before he slowly turned away and leaned with his shoulder against the wall beside the window. "But it is there," he stated lowly, his voice no more than a whisper, and looked at the street below while the sun was warming his tense features. "There, between the skyscrapers and under the sidewalks."
"What now, Van?" Folken questioned helplessly, his forehead braced against his fist. "What are we going to do now?"
"You know, I didn't really think when I left the outfit," Van replied ironically and this time, a real smile made the corners of his lips quirk. "I didn't think of any consequences. Everything that was on my mind was to get out of there and to find you. Nothing else. I don't know what to do, Folken. I simply don't know."
A groan was the reply and he briefly glanced at his brother who was the epitome of desperation, face hidden in his hand and shoulders slumped. "I mean, it's as if someone pulled you out of a topper like some white rabbit!" he exclaimed and shook his head. "You appeared out of thin air without any warning, without any belongings, without anyone knowing! You don't have an identity card, just to begin with! In this world, you're nothing without an id, nothing without a piece of plastic to prove that you are you, nothing without a row of numbers and letters giving you a place in the sytem.
"And it's not that we could call the police or anything," he continued and laughed about the ridiculous hopelessness of the whole situation. "If you told them your name they would find that Van Fanel died a pretty long time ago. They would probably send us to a mental hospital."
"They would probably report us," Van contradicted quietly and Folken shot him a wary glance, one brow raised. "Dornkirk's got his eyes and ears everywhere."
"Do you think they're searching for you?" he asked carefully and Van looked at him out of the corners of his eyes, lips pressed together.
"If they haven't already found me," the young man answered in a whisper and reached out with a hand to draw invisible patterns on the warm glass of the window.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know what they're planning," Van replied, shaking his head softly, and pressed his hand flat against the window. "But I'm sure they could have fetched me back already if they had just wanted to."
"And though you're running around as if everything was alright?" Folken questioned in disbelief, a little louder than he had intended to, and knitted his brows. "Are you waiting to be caught or what!"
"What do you expect me to do?" was the barked reply and Van spread his arms. "Should I hide somewhere and never come out again? You know, I always wanted to see the sky, wanted to see the sun rise, wanted to smell summer and rain. Nobody's going to take that away from me ever again. Nobody. I won't allow that to happen...I'd rather die."
"Did you think about leaving the city?" Folken voiced after a moment of intense silence and Van turned to cast him a sceptical glance.
"And do what?" he countered with laughter in his voice. "Get a fake identity and hide on Barbados? That's ridiculous, Folken."
"But – " the brown-eyed man started to protest but was immediately interupted, eyes the colour of red jasper narrowing in determination.
"There has to be another solution. And right now, we can do nothing but wait."
"Seems you're going to stay a little while longer then," Folken stated calmly but quickly raised his hands in defence when he caught the irritated glare Van was directing at him. "It wasn't a complaint! I was just summing everything up for me."
He shook his head softly, before continuing. "You'll get Naria's room," he informed his brother who just frowned in reply. "I already discussed it with Eriya. The woman actually lives at her boyfriend's but is simply too lazy to remove the rest of her stuff from her old room here. You know, we can put all her belongings out in the hallway to tick her off a bit. Did you plan anything for the evening already?"
A devilish glint had entered Folken's eyes by the time and the young man was hardly able to restrain himself from rubbing his hands, looking like a ten-year-old who was about to raid the hidden cookie box. He had obviously been waiting for this opportunity. However, the expression on his face changed into one of mild surprise when he watched the shadow of a smile pass Van's lips like the flashing of a piece of glass in the sunlight.
"I take that as a yes," Folken smirked and Van looked up, pitch-black strands tumbling over his smiling eyes.
"I'll go to the movies with a friend, tonight," he replied, the incessant quirking of the corners of his mouth only stopping when he noticed the expression on his brother's face. "What? Do you want to forbid me to go? It's a dangerous world out there, isn't it!"
"No, I only want you to be careful," Folken countered softly and Van angrily knitted his brows, before turning quickly away. "Furthermore, I suppose you don't have any money, judging by your earlier words about not thinking of any consequences."
Van's eyes widened slightly and he reached into his pocket, only to find a lonely and crumpled bill. He wouldn't even be able to buy his way on the bus, let alone a ticket for the cinema.
The elder man sighed and cast a look at the bowl beside him that was still filled with Van's breakfast. Smiling wryly, he nudged it and the cornflakes mash came to wobbly life. "And I suppose you didn't eat anything yet," he continued and Van only nodded mutely. "Well, what about we go grab something to eat and discuss a few important things? Maybe then, I'll be finally able to sleep at night again."
´´
"And, did you like the movie?" Van questioned nonchalantly, leaning a bit down to Hitomi when he fell in step beside her, after wiggling his way past the innumerable chatting people that were pouring out of the cinema with them.
Startled, her head snapped up at the sound of his voice so close beside her, and she immediately began to twist the magazine she was holding when she found him looking at her expectantly. The magazine was already covered with folds and creases for she had been kneading it all evening long. It was a traitorous habit. Damn her nervousness.
"Erm...yes, I liked it a lot," she replied quietly, smiling unsurely. "But I would have enjoyed it so much more if this couple hadn't talked all the time!"
Van cocked an eyebrow in surprise when she hissed the words through gritted teeth, and looked warily down at her hands which were crushing the magazine that her knuckles turned white. "Did you hear them?" Hitomi asked hotly and Van shook his head, biting down a smile when her eyes narrowed to ominous slits. "Gods, if they just wanted to talk they could have gone to a café or something like this! I didn't want to know what Katherine did to her boyfriend or anything! And if this wasn't already enough, I was being bombarded with popcorn as well! It's just as if there is a big, glowing sign above my head, saying Please, annoy me!"
Snorting angrily, she turned to face Van who had his hands casually tugged in the pockets of his pants and looked at her with amusement dancing in his eyes, making them sparkle like rubies in the light of the streetlamps. "What?" she asked warily when a grin formed on his lips.
"Nothing," he answered with a shrug and a warm breeze moved lazy strands of jet-black hair. "I just didn't know you were that much of a talker...and that much of a choleric person."
Hitomi flushed instantly all the way up to the tips of her ears, hastily averting her eyes so to stop her cheeks from catching fire. "I'm not," she protested in a whisper and watched her feet tap along the sidewalk.
"If you say so," Van drawled, his smile wrapped around his words.
"Yes, I do," she confirmed pointedly and glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes, turning quickly away when she found him looking back at her. "I'm usually very quiet and just happen to have...little outbursts every now and then. But if it annoys you, I'll shut up, of course, and will remain silent for the rest of the evening."
He grinned briefly and tilted his head backwards, turning his face up at the dark and almost empty nightsky. The streetlamps were outshining the majority of stars that were scattered across the sky like sparkling raindrops across the hood of a black car, only the brightest ones visible.
After the conversation he had had with Folken in a little café, his mood was burried six feet under. It had brought up so many things he had banished from his mind, things he had locked up and thrown away the key, things he just didn't want to think about. He hadn't thought the evening would turn out pleasant but just by seeing her standing lonely by herself, people bustling around her like a flock of birds heading southwards, her ever green eyes scanning the crowd for him, he hadn't been able to do anything but smile.
She was like a stripe of light across the horizon that was following the rain clouds, promising that even the worst rainshower would be over one time. He didn't know what exactly it was about her that fascinated him so much, that made him search for her company, made him glance at her whenever she wasn't looking at him. There were just too many things.
And she still hadn't asked. Van was grateful but at the same time, he knew that she wouldn't be waiting forever for him to speak up by himself. And he sensed that she knew he wouldn't be starting to tell her anytime soon in this lifetime.
"I'm boring, right?" Hitomi finally broke the silence, waking Van from his thoughts and making him blink his eyes to bring them back into focus.
"Why do you think that?" he questioned in reply, studying her tense posture, her bare arms crossed in front of her chest and her green eyes glaring at the paved sidewalk from underneath knitted brows.
"Because I can't come up with anything to start a conversation with you and that's why we were silent since we left the cinema," she answered matter-of-factly, still refusing to look at him. "And we're walking around with no destination at all, meaning that I have absolutely no clue what to do now."
"Well, you're wrong with both," Van countered, mimicking her intonation and earning a suspiciously lifted brow. "First, just because we're not talking doesn't mean that we do not have something to talk about but that we simply don't need to talk. And second, we're not running around all aimlessly."
Hitomi frowned when he raised a tanned arm and pointed at something ahead. Her brows shot up by spotting the fast food restaurant they were heading at, the oversized, unmistakably yellow glowing, bend and trademarked french fries illuminating the night. The bright sign was attracting people like moths. "I didn't know there was one here," she mumbled in surprise and Van shrugged.
"Neither did I."
Brushing a stray hair out of her face, she sighed. "You can eat healthy and you can eat there," she stated dryly and glanced at Van, pure suspicion glinting in her bright green eyes. "This must be in your blood or something."
"Yep," he agreed with a nod and a grin twitching at the corners of his lips. "I was born with ketchup running through my veins."
"I can well believe that," Hitomi countered and rolled her eyes. "And your brain is a cheeseburger."
"Probably," he returned with a short but confident nod and a lazy grin spread across his features.
Hitomi could only grin back at him, amazed about herself. She had really managed to break the ice, she was usually slipping on and embaressing herself in the process. She was a huge icebreaker right then, watching ice floes scratch along her massive, iron hull. Pathetic, little ice floes! Yes, the icebreaker Hitomi was on her way across the Bering Sea and would soon reach the Pacific Ocean. No problems occurred so far.
"Care to tell why you're grinning like you just won the lottery?" Van questioned casually, turning away from her to look out at the street.
"Maybe, I just did," she replied smugly, smirking mysteriously up at his profile.
He revealed his crooked canine tooth when he smiled, and whenever he did, his every feature seemed to be affected by it. It was one of the things she would get never tired of watching, like sunrises and waves washing upon a sandy shore in a neverending course.
It was like standing in an elevator that had just been set in motion when he directed one of his dazing smiles at her. It was like he could suspend gravity for the tiniest of moments, making her feel completely weightless.
"Hitomi..." his voice faintly reached her in her trance-like state and she confusedly blinked her eyes.
It was when she suddenly came to a dead stop, squeezing her eyes shut when her skull connected with something rather firm and cold, a spot on her temple emitting waves of dull pain up to the tips of her hair.
"...you're about to head straight into a traffic sign," Van finished dryly, grimacing, when he watched her clutch her forehead with both hands, a sympathetic expression on his features. "Everything alright?"
No, dammit! Nothing was alright! She just ran straight into a metal pole because she had been staring foolishly at him, forgetting everything else around her!
Gods, why did it always happen to her? Why did her common sense decide to turn off the lights in her mind and take a nap in the most splendid of moments? She looked up at Van through misty eyes and he raised his dark brows in surprise. A green fire of accusation was burning in her orbs, as if all this had been his fault.
"I'll survive," she mumbled and feverishly rubbed her temple, trying to pulverize the pain while still glaring at him. "Why didn't you warn me?"
"I did."
She groaned inwardly and felt the sudden urge to smack her head against that damn metal pole. Could metal poles feel pain? If yes, she would feel a whole lot better.
With a snort, Hitomi averted her gaze from his laughing eyes, shuffling along through the door which he was holding open for her, into McDonald's. A warm cloud that was thick with the scents of mustard and burgers wrapped around her as soon as she set a foot on the tile-clad floor.
"Oh, come on," Van said cheerfully when he lined up beside a still grumbling Hitomi, hands once again stuffed in his pockets while cocking his head to one side, searching her eyes. "I'm going to treat you."
She cast him a dry glance out of the corners of her eyes. "One of my biggest wishes come true," she retorted sarcastically. "I feel so much better now, thank you."
"You don't have to take the offer if you don't want to," he shrugged and turned to look over the heads of the people in front of him, rocking softly back and forth on his heels. "If it makes you happy, you can pay for yourself."
"Fine, if you're forcing me like that!" Hitomi huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, making Van's lips quirk in a brief grin. "But not that I'll end up paying everything myself again because you don't have any money with you."
"No no," he assured her with a chuckle, shaking his head slightly. "Thanks to my brother, I've got some bills."
"You don't talk much about your brother." Van turned away, lips involuntarily pressed to a thin line.
"Maybe," he replied flatly and absently took two steps forward, the queue moving.
Hitomi smiled, averting her green eyes from watching his profile, not noticing the ditch Van was quickly digging around himself that very moment. "You know, it's funny when you think about it. I actually know nothing about you. For all I know, you could be..."
"A subject that ran from a hidden lab where forbidden experiments take place?" Van continued when she trailed off, his features expressionless.
"I actually thought of someone who steals lollipops from little kids," Hitomi stated and looked at him out of the corners of her eyes. "But the subject will also do."
The young man beside her just kept staring ahead, his jaw set and his hands that were hidden in his pockets clenched tightly to fists, knuckles white.
"How old is your brother?" she questioned after a moment of silence, her gaze fixed on the t-shirt of the black-haired girl in front of her that read in colourful letters If stupid was a sport, you'd be in the hall of fame. Oh, how very nice.
Meanwhile, Van had already closed his drawbridge, leaving Hitomi standing in front of a water-filled ditch.
"What about you go get us a table while I get us some food?" he suddenly spoke up and she turned to face him, blinking in confusion. Maybe her voice had been too quiet?
"Yes, but --" she tried again and was cut off.
"I mean, the place is pretty stuffed and judging by the length of the queue, we'll end up standing," he continued monotonously, still not looking at her and quite successfully ignoring her. "What do you want?"
Sometimes, she just didn't know what to make of him. He could joke and make her feel as if, for once, she wasn't making a complete fool out of herself. He could smile at her that she wanted to hide her face in a pillow and grin until her skull split. And then, within seconds, he could turn into an ice block that was able to cool a complete ocean of orange juice for years.
He was like one of those damn patience games where you had to juggle some tiny balls into even tinier holes and when you feel like bursting with joy because you sank yet another one of the stubborn balls, the two ones you sank earlier jump out of their holes. Gods knew about her instabil patience span.
"I'd only like to have some ice cream," Hitomi finally answered and her eyes slightly hardened when he quickly glanced at her. She wanted to pin him to the wall with dart arrows and keep him there until he had answered every single question that was roaring through her mind since the moment she had first laid eyes on him. "With chocolate sauce."
Van held her stare, her eyes like a storm-lashed sea, until she wordlessly turned around. He watched her walk away with unreadable eyes, exhaling deeply when she was out of sight. Running a frustrated hand through his hair, he focused his gaze on the t-shirt Hitomi had admired earlier. He didn't even wonder why he felt so addressed by it.
Why was his life just so screwed up?
"Beautiful day to take a load unhealthy food, isn't it!" a deep voice drawled behind him, freezing him to the spot, the words strikingly familiar.
"Dryden!" he breathed, eyes wide.
"Really good," came the quiet but amused reply from behind him. "Someone's getting a cookie here. No, don't turn around!"
Van narrowed his eyes when he was pushed in the back by trying to glance over his shoulder. "What are you doing here? – hey!" he exclaimed when Dryden forced him back around again. "And what's with the James Bond secretiveness?"
"I'm here to give you a few advices, Van," he answered and his brown eyes sparkled from out of the shadows under his base cap. "A free service of friendship you could say."
"Dryden..." Van hissed lowly, his voice anything but patient.
"Okay okay, just listen," Dryden sighed and pushed his glasses up his straight nose, the glass catching the light of the lamps for a second. "I don't assume you're that naïve as not to consider that they're searching you or maybe already have found you, right?"
A brief silence engulfed them while people were noisily bustling past them, conversations and the shuffling of feet swirling around them like rain and clouds around the eye of a hurricane. "Yes."
"Good, because they did find you," Dryden stated casually, watching Van clench his hands to fists at his sides. "They're observing every step you take, everywhere you go, every minute, since the moment you met your brother. You can trust me, I saw the photos."
"How?" he hissed through gritted teeth, his eyes cold like the water of the northern seas.
"Dornkirk's got this ace up his sleeve," Dryden replied and Van could hear the disdainful smile that circled the older man's lips. "Young boy, pretty much your age, talented beyond belief. He's sitting two tables away from the door, leafing through some prospect. Albino – I said don't turn around!"
Van bit down a curse when he bumped into Dryden again by trying to turn around, and ran a nervous hand through his hair. He had already dismissed the thought of them not knowing where he was as impossible. Yet, the confirmation sent a chill down his spine, making him feel as if eyes were watching him from everywhere.
"Why are they only watching?" he asked and took another step forward, the scent of french fries and burgers impregnating the air. "Is this some stupid game? Like observing if the rat finds the way through the labyrinth?"
"Partly," was the short response and Dryden absently scratched the back of his cap-clad head, curly brown hair hidden underneath. "Dornkirk is hell-bent on gathering information about his precious little experiment mastering life in our favourite world of unrestrained mass consumption."
"So, by running away I support him even more," Van snorted scornfully, narrowing his eyes and Dryden shrugged.
"There's always a catch in everything, Van," he said with a small smile, before turning completely serious again. "Now, listen! Millerna said they wouldn't need to drag you back for you would come on your own – not voluntarily though. She said that they had something you needed. Do you know what she could have meant?"
"No, I don't," Van answered curtly. "There's nothing in the lab that is essentially to me. Nothing is binding me to it. Absolutely nothing."
"Seems as if I will have to ask a few more questions there," Dryden countered and stroked his chin, an ironical grin twitching at the corners of his mouth. "Time to converse with daddy."
"What am I supposed to do now?" Van questioned when Dryden didn't continue, obviously lost in thoughts.
"Wait and watch your back," he stated simply and watched Van's profile when he turned his head slightly. "If you don't take the first step, they will do. No doubt."
"Dryden, it's not all that easy," the young man replied angrily. "My brother is freaking out about me not having an identity card and sad but true but he's right! I do not exist!"
The man right behind him was quiet and he was about to open his mouth when Dryden spoke up, quiet and curt, "Leave that to me."
Van wanted to whirl around, wanted to grab Dryden by the collar and glare a hole through his forehead for being so damn unpredictable, wanted to strangle him with all the pent-up frustration that had grown over these last days.
But right that moment, the two girls in front of him paid and left him be the next customer, facing the man behind the counter with angry eyes. He wasn't exactly friendly when he asked Van what he wanted, muttering something under his breath when he received the thoroughly crumpled bill the raven-haired youth had maltreated the whole time while listening to Dryden.
When Van finally turned around with the tray, he noticed that Dryden was perfectly avoiding to look at him, his eyes however smiling in the shadows under the cap.
"Be careful," he whispered quickly, directing the words to the ground, before looking up and giving his order with a nonchalant voice.
Something flickered across Van's irises but he blinked it away and pushed his way through the crowd that was gathering around the tills. Crossing the restaurant, he found Hitomi sitting on some kind of bar stool, tearing a prospect to pieces. Her wheat-coloured tresses were tumbling into her face, a heap of paper shreds already covering the table. A tiny smile formed on his lips by watching her but it vanished when his roaming eyes settled on a young man who sat close by the door.
His pale face turned away from Hitomi whom he had been watching and his gaze met Van's icy cold one, a hidden smirk tugging on pale lips.
´´
Reports. Photographs. Statistics. Innumerable sheets of paper. He couldn't see the surface of his desk anymore for it was drowning in paper. He couldn't even tell if he needed everything that lay in an unidentifiable heap there in front of him.
Vargas had his hands burried in the remains of his hair, his elbows braced against the desk and his computer humming beside him. The lack of sleep had dug canyons under his eyes, coating the brown orbs in shadows and new wrinkles had appeared around the corners of his mouth and on his forehead. Right then, one could see every year, the tall man had lived, carved on his features.
His tired eyes came to rest on a photo. The photo of a young man, his head bent down, the wind raking through strands of pitch-black hair. Van.
It had been a while since he had run away. It had been a while since he had looked into that camera with eyes so full of disdain. And it had hurt. It had hurt to see Van confused and angry. It was what Vargas had feared the most; that maybe one day, Van would find out. Would find that he was nothing but a number on a sheet of paper, nothing but an order of letters on a computer screen, nothing but a toy to the people he had trusted.
A light knock on his door made him jerk slightly, and he looked up to find Millerna leaning in the doorframe, a pile of files wedged under her arm. Her blonde curls were tied back in a loose ponytail, a pencil packed behind her ear.
"What's the matter?" Vargas asked raspily and slowly straightened in his chair, running his hands tiredly over his eyes.
"Yesterday's reports," she replied quietly and stepped slowly into the dimly illuminated room, watching Vargas' slumped figure warily.
"Yes, what's with them?" he questioned and looked up with blood-shot eyes when the young woman reached his desk, looking for a place where she could put the files without them getting lost in a heap of documents that was probably like quicksand. "You told me to sign them after I had read through them and then, hand them to you."
"Yes, I said that," Millerna countered absently and brushed a stray curl out of her face, still scanning the desk.
"Well?" Vargas retorted, leaning against the backrest which squeaked feebly in protest, and raised a thick brow at the woman in front of him.
"They aren't signed," she stated simply and finally looked up at him, giving up on finding an empty spot on the desk and deciding to better keep the files in her hands.
Vargas sighed heavily in reply and defeatedly tilted his head backwards, directing his gaze at the empty ceiling. "I probably forgot to do it," he muttered. "Or I signed some other documents that are lying around here. Somewhere in this heap, you'll probably find my signature."
Millerna remained silent after that said and simply watched him run a hand through his hair, the once dark brown almost completely merged into shades of grey. His breathing was heavy and the only noise in the sticky room. She frowned, something missing in the familiar picture that was Vargas' world.
Glancing over her shoulder, she lifted her brows in slight surprise when she found his wall clock stopped dead in tracks, the continual ticking that accompanied the steady flow of time now silenced.
"Your clock came to a standstill," she remarked and Vargas didn't even look at her when he replied.
"I know," he mumbled, the words muffled for he was covering his face with his hands. "I killed it because the ticking absolutely unnerved me. Couldn't stand it anymore."
"Everything alright?" the young woman asked warily and draw her delicate brows together, violet eyes sparkling with worry.
"Of course," Vargas drawled, letting his hands sink, and the sarcasm in his voice was so clear as if it had been printed across his forehead. "Why shouldn't everything be alright?"
"Vargas..." Millerna warned, tightening her grip around the files.
"Millerna, what do you expect me to answer?" the older man questioned loudly, restrained anger and impatience sounding with the words. "I'm worried!"
"We all are," she replied, slightly surprised at the outburst, and her eyes softened. "The current situation is an immense risk for the whole project. Of course, the new information we get are incredible, something we never dreamed of, but when something happens to him out there, the work and money of about twenty years are ruined. I don't understand why Dr. Dornkirk is willing to take that risk."
"I see," Vargas stated and Millerna raised her confused, lilac-coloured orbs at him, his voice not louder than the rustling of a curtain in a light breeze. "This is what's worrying you sick. I understand."
"Vargas, what's that supposed to mean?" she asked slowly, tension creeping over her features and wiping the softness from the corners of her mouth.
"You sound exactly like him," he replied calmly, staring with his dark-brown eyes firmly into her hard ones. "All the worry about precious work and test results and investigation. Tell me, did you waste just one thought about Van? Is one wrinkle on your pretty forehead dedicated to him?"
"Of course!" Millerna exclaimed, outraged, a flush crawling with the anger up to her cheeks. "I do worry about him all the time! How dare you!"
"No, Millerna," Vargas continued patiently like a father trying to reason with his stubborn, pre-pubescent daughter, igniting a flame inside her that had her seething. "I didn't mean if you're worried about the tests you wouldn't be able to do if something happened to him, didn't mean the money that would be wasted and the sponsors you would have to put off. I meant, did you only once worry about Van as a human being?"
"He's not a –- " she hotly started to speak up but was roughly interupted.
"No!" Vargas barked suddenly, rising from his chair to his full, intimidating height, making Millerna cower for the tiniest of moments for he reminded her of a grizzly that had just accidentially been awoken. "Don't say it! Don't you dare say it! All that's left for you to do is call him a goddamn subject and your mentor will be forever proud of you, his precious protégé!"
"Guard your tongue, Vargas!" Millerna hissed, faint red spots that covered the porcellain skin on her hands showing the inner fight she was battling, her temper about to get the better of her.
"Why!" he replied exasperatedly, spreading his huge arms. "I just fear that he'll do something stupid! Millerna, the boy is in a world he doesn't know, a world that doesn't know him, and he's alone! Nobody can understand him! Nobody can understand what he's going through or what happened to him or what he is! He feels betrayed, he's angry and he is alone!"
"What are you implying?" she voiced, a dangerously calm edge to her words and a suspicious sparkle in her purple eyes that dared him to elaborate the thought. "Did you begin to doubt?"
Vargas hesitated before answering, returning her glare with just as much conviction. The air in the room was thick with unspoken questions and mute reproach, making it hard to breathe. "Let's say, I had a lot of time to think."
Millerna's eyes froze over as if the temperature had just went down twenty-three degrees Celsius, a scream of accusation caught in them like a mosquito in amber. "Vargas, you know that I cannot keep up this conversation with you anymore," she informed him slowly, lowly and coldly.
"What?" Vargas mocked and gave a laugh, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips that only barely could lift them. "You aren't afraid, are you!"
"You don't know what you're talking about," Millerna stated in a dull voice that didn't allow any contradiction, the colour drained from her face. "You're tired. Do me a favour; sign the reports and get some rest. And I will do you a favour and forget what had been spoken in this room."
She averted her gaze as if he was holding a shining fruit from the Tree of Knowledge in his hand, a snake winding around his arm and watching her with slim, vertical pupils. Letting the files carelessly drop onto his desk, the young woman turned and wordlessly headed for the door.
"He will not return," Vargas spoke up and crossed his mighty arms in front of his chest, making her stop in the doorframe.
"But he will have to and it doesn't matter if he likes it or not," she retorted flatly, without turning around, the elder man watching her with unreadable eyes.
"I know," he countered quietly. "But he will not return."
"Stop thinking so much, Vargas," Millerna replied icily and pulled the door slowly close behind her. "It's not healthy."
´´
A/N: Booyaa! I live, in case you were already wondering...First off, sorries for the long wait! I was pretty busy these last...er...three months? Oh sheesh, I feel bad sobs But there was graduation, another story that I promised to finish in one go, and a lot of other stuff that I wished I could postphone...umm, let's say, into my next life maybe? And well, when I was not busy, I was lazy...I'm sorry but I'm only human! I hope you can understand that for yes, there are actually people who need sleep! Good, and to all the people who are still (and not always patiently :P) waiting for "Beyond the horizon" to be finally updated, I'll hopefully manage until next week. Three quarters of the chapter are already done throws confetti I'm really glad so many people like it and I would ask you to be patient just one week more, please. Thank you.
Spirit0: Hey, there! Lol, I feel honoured that you consider skipping school though I wouldn't update anymore if you did, haha:P And well, if you only want the middle part of the chapter and leave the rest out, the story would end quite soon – considering it is one of my stories...I would have them get together and ENDE :P You want that? And hah, about the tan...I think I mentioned it in one of the very early chapters. It's because of tests coz hey, the tan is a must:P Thanks again!
Tramie: grins Thank you!
dreamingofflyingaway: blushs beyond red Thank you and I hope I could keep it up...
dilanda: wipes brow I'm glad you understand, though I think I did it again sweatdrops Thanks!
kawaii neko: Hah, I don't think I did any good to Millerna, did I? The poor thing. Thanks!
Crystal Night: sweatdrops Ah well, took my time again. I hopefully didn't scare you away because of re-reading it again sobs
Myst: Sorries to disappoint you but I neither managed the month ultimatum nor will there be a lemon scene. Sorry.
mogocca: blushs Thanks!
SabineballZ: OH! Hab ich dir die email geschrieben? Ich mein die, dass ich die Geschichte unbedingt lesen möchte? Ich hab's bestimmt vergessen! sich an dein Bein klammert und hemmungslos losschluchzt Im Falle, dass du noch mit mir Schusselkopf redest...schick's mir! Bitte bitte! dein Bein nicht mehr loslässt Danke!
kitsune-girl 370: grins like mad Hehe, it takes quite a bit of time to read through all of my stuff sweatdrops Thankiez! And I'm glad you understand that I need my time to write it!
Gwydion: Lol, I feel honoured that a not Esca-maniac likes my story :P Though there are quite some other stories that are absolutely worth reading! Hehe, I'll hopefully manage to keep you as a reader...and Dilandau will appear again, don't worry winks Thank you!
Kathy: And still no end within sight grins uneasily I have to go...
Geminidragon: Thanks!
Esca-lover: blushs like mad Thank you! And aye, the fact that he flew was exactly what the "clouds smell like rain" thingy should hint at grins Though it'll take some time until he'll be soaring free...if he will at all, that is whistles innocently
hitomi-chan: Go ahead, shoot me! You've got every right to...once again bursts into tears I'm so sorry for not dropping a line in years! sobs at your sleeve Thanks so much for the review though! And aye aye, hooking up will take some time :P Can't allow my dear readers to drop back in their seats too early! cackles evilly And mwahahahahahaha, Dilandau will definitely return! I'm glad you liked it and hope you'll keep reading despite my not writing back in aeons sobs Thanks!
The lady winged Knight: Well, I'm not hurting him! How could I ever? cuddles Van They hurt him! takes chair and wacks Dornkirk over the head with it Haha, take that! wack Mwahahahahahahahahahaha! wack Thanks!
Chibipearlball: grins Thankiez!
Kya77: Thanks! I will!
Anthius: Lol, sorries, no kiss...yet :P
RoGuE-WhItE-DrAgOn: Thanks!
:P bows low Thank you!
some poor fool who doesn't have an account yet: Well, go hurry and get one:P Thanks!
Namesake: collects the pieces of her story in her palm Thanks for loving it so much :P And for the other thing...just wait grins like a madwoman
MimiGhost: Lol, thanks!
Star-brella: Sorries, to disappoint you yet again...can't help! smiles crookedly
CookyButtButt: blushs like a tomato Thank you!
aLeQs aka Mizz Chilli: I guess not but I liked it nevertheless grins like a madwoman Thanks!
Inda: Lol, I know! Here you go!
Thanks again to everyone! Next chapter will come! And just in case someone plans to sue me; I neither own Escaflowne nor McDonald's (which I really wished I did coz I would be stinking filthy rich then and could buy Escaflowne, hah!) nor do I own the "If stupid was a sport, you'd be in the hall of fame" t-shirt but a friend of mine does!
Dariel