AN: Toda raba to PTB and the super-betas Love of Escapism and K. Cerena. Y'all rock the Kasbah. Any errors are all mine. SMeyers' original ideas and characters, SManson & Co's lyrics. No copyright infringement intended. My words though, step off copy cats.
Chapter Nine: Fix Me Now
Things don't have to be this way
Catch me on a better day
Nowhere only down from here
Pick me off the floor
Take away the things I dream
One time one place one more
Fix me now
I wish you would
Bring me back to life
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To: Bella Swan (bellaswan88(at)gmail,com)
From: Renee Dwyer (FLsugamomma72(at)yahoo,com)
Date: January 3rd, 2005, 8:23 pm EST
Sugar,
Happy New Year!
How was your night? Phil and I went out with some of his teammates and their girls to a local bar. It was a lot of fun. I had a glass of champagne at midnight and we watched the ball drop on TV. The next morning, we slept in and had a huge breakfast when we woke up. I wanted to make something special, but Phil insisted on just having bacon and eggs. I hope you were out with friends too.
Bella, honey, I'm still really worried about you. Charlie told me that you were doing better, but it didn't seem like that when I last saw you. Our trip last month was so short, and you seemed so...I don't know what. Sad, I guess, but that's not strong enough a word to describe it. Depressed maybe? I'm sure you know what word I'm thinking of, you always do. I'm disappointed that you missed the appointment Charlie made for you. I hoped that it would help you. Please make another one and actually go this time. A new year is a great time for a fresh start. I think you really need one, sweetie.
I really wish that you would change your mind and come out here to stay with us. We both have stable jobs now and it would be so great to see you every day again! I really miss the time we used to spend together. I think it would be good for you, too. All that doom and gloom of Forks is really getting to you, I can tell. It's all sunshine all the time here in Jacksonville, you'd really like it. It's hot like Phoenix but it's on the beach which, really, just makes everything better!
I love you baby girl. Be happy.
Momma
P.S. Remember your promise and write me back. It's one of the conditions we discussed for you staying in Forks.
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To: Renee Dwyer (FLsugamomma72(at)yahoo,com)
From: Bella Swan (bellaswan88(at)gmail,com)
Date: January 7th, 2005 5:29 pm, PST
Mom,
Dad and I stayed home on New Year's. I had work the next day. We're fine. School started again. It's going okay.
Bella
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To: Bella Swan (bellaswan88(at)gmail,com)
From: Renee Dwyer (FLsugamomma72(at)yahoo,com)
Date: January 11th, 2005, 6:42 pm EST
Baby,
I was thinking of you this morning before I went to my pottery class and just wanted to let you know that I miss you and love you. We just started glazing our pieces and I decided to do each mug a different color. Phil's is green, mine is purple (of course!) and your's is brown. I remember you saying that's your favorite color. I don't know why though, it's just so...brown. I did a blue one too, just in case.
Anyway, I just signed up for yoga again. There's a new studio in our neighborhood and it looks interesting. I know that when we tried it in Phoenix you thought it was too silly and I fell asleep during the relaxation period. I read an article about how it's good exercise for your body and mind, so I'm going to try it out again. I don't know if they have a studio in Forks (I doubt it), but if there is one, you should sign up for it. We could do it together, well sort of, just like old times. And when you come to visit us, we can go to a class together, like a mother-daughter bonding experience. It would be so much fun!
My pottery class is ending soon and I'm looking for something new to do. I found a neighborhood book club. I think I might join. You always loved reading so much and, as you know, it hasn't ever been my favorite activity. I thought we could read the books together and talk about them over the phone. What do you think, sweetie? I'd like to know what goes on in that clever head of yours. You're probably busy with school and work, but maybe you could try to fit in some time for your mom?
Have you made a new appointment yet?
Love,
Momma
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To: Renee Dwyer (FLsugamomma72(at)yahoo,com)
From: Bella Swan (bellaswan88(at)gmail,com)
Date: January 14th, 2005 8:17 pm, PST
Mom,
School is okay. I'm eating. I haven't had time to talk with the doctor. I've been too busy with work and school.
Bella
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To: Bella Swan (bellaswan88(at)gmail,com)
From: Renee Dwyer (FLsugamomma72(at)yahoo,com)
Date: January 18th, 2005, 9:14 pm EST
My Belly,
I had to leave my class this week and sub for a sick teacher. I love how wide-eyed and honest, really honest, children are at this age. It's amazing. I had forgotten how much second graders differ from kindergarteners. They can read, do some math, and all sorts of other things, while the kinders are just learning the alphabet. I missed my kids, but it was nice having a change of pace.
I went to one yoga class and didn't like it. I should have known after our experience that sitting still and meditating is just not my cup of tea. Everything was soooo slow. I felt like I was moving backwards. The book club I told you about just started and it looks like that will keep me busy for a bit. I've all ready forgotten what our first book is, but if you want to read it too, I can get two copies and mail yours if you like.
Phil wants to know when you're going to come for a visit. He really wants to take his girls, (that's what he calls us now, isn't that sweet?) to Disney World. We went a few weeks ago as a second honeymoon. We had so much fun and now Phil is dying to go back! We're going to wait for you, though, so it'll be like a real family outing. I hope that you're not too old for that sort of thing, being eighteen now. I tried explaining to Phil you might not want to go, but he couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to go to "the happiest place on earth". Maybe you'll visit for spring break and we can go? That would be nice. Charlie thinks it's a good idea too. You know how rare it is for us to agree on anything! Let me know when you're coming so I can buy you a ticket.
Momma
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To: Renee Dwyer (FLsugamomma729(at)yahoo,com)
From: Bella Swan (bellaswan88(at)gmail,com)
Date: January 20th, 2005 5:29 pm, PST
Mom,
How are you? I think you'll have a good time with your book club, at least a better time than in yoga. If you tell me what book you're reading, I can see if it's at the library in P.A.; probably not though. It sounds like you and Phil had a great trip! I don't know what my plans are for Spring Break yet. Can I let you know later?
I had a fun weekend. I went to the movies with a friend from school on Friday night. I had work on Saturday morning but in the afternoon I hung out with Jacob Black. He's Billy Black's son. I don't know if you ever met Jacob, but you might remember Billy. Jake is into cars; he's actually the person who fixed my truck. I watched him put together an engine; it was pretty amazing. He knew where all these little bits of metal went and by the end, the motor was running like new. I wish I could do something like that. Jake tried teaching me how to do car stuff but I kept on dropping the tools so we decided it would be better if I just watched. He says being able to cook is just as handy, but I don't know about that.
On Sunday, Jake and I went around looking for parts he needs and then came back to his place so he could work some more on his project. Billy ended up inviting Charlie over for dinner and then the Clearwaters came and we had an impromptu dinner party in the Blacks' backyard. Spaghetti for everyone! Dad got to talk fishing with Billy and Harry and Seth, Leah, Jake and I hung out. Of course, since we're in Forks, it started raining and everyone had to head home. It was fun while it lasted, though.
I have school tomorrow and a bunch of homework, so I'm going to go. I love you, Mom. We'll talk soon.
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AN: Link to song in profile. Thanks for reading!