"You have visitors," the guard announced to Faith as she lay on her bunk and stared at the ceiling.
"Probably Angel," Faith guessed as she got up.
Her mind raced as she dropped off the top bunk, landing as silently as a leaf on the floor. The guard was limping slightly, having taken a hard blow to the thigh several days ago. It would be child's play to move in close and take him apart, a tiny corner of her mind whispered.
Neal was a big man at six foot four, who worked out regularly to keep in shape, but he relied too much on his size and strength to keep the inmates he dealt with in line. Faith figured she could take him down in under three seconds and the reason it would take that long was because that's how long it would take his brain to realize he'd been knocked out.
Neal was careful to stay out of arm's reach of Faith. While she'd never given the guards any trouble he'd seen her deal with violent offenders before and she was a lot stronger then she looked. "If you have any contraband on you it would be best to report it now."
"Just cigs and a lighter," Faith replied with a shrug.
"Leave them in your cell," Neal said, "you know how Johnson is."
"Yeah, bitch stole my smokes last time," Faith said taking a pack of Marlboro reds and a blue Bic lighter out of her pocket, slipping them under her pillow.
"Visitor's room twelve," Neal said, barely stopping himself from nodding, "need an escort?"
"Nah, I got it," Faith said, "but thanks."
"Just doing my job," Neal said giving her a polite nod and waiting until she'd walked away before turning his back on her.
Faith followed the familiar path down to the visitor's section, having to be buzzed through two doors and getting a patdown by a female guard before she reached where she was going and spotted her visitors.
"Xander?" she asked, wondering what was going on and if she needed to break out to stop an apocalypse. She ran several different escape scenarios through her mind, the longest of which would require thirteen minutes to put into action.
"Hey Faith," Xander greeted her from across the table, pleased that she looked unharmed and well fed, if a bit pale from lack of sunlight.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, 'and is everything okay on the Hellmouth?' was the unasked but clearly audible addition.
"Everything's fine," Xander assured her, "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay in here."
"Angel could have told you that," she said.
"And I'd take his word for it?" Xander joked, jerking his thumb towards Angel who rolled his eyes, mildly amused.
"Point," Faith said, trying not to laugh, relieved but a bit disappointed that she wouldn't need to break out. "I'm not doing too bad, cells a bit low rent, but it's not like I can afford better and at least it's three hots and a cot."
"How much would a better cell cost?" Xander asked.
"Hey, I was just joking about that," Faith said waving it off.
"Faith, I'm making pretty good money as a contractor," Xander said, "I can afford a little extra to keep you from going nuts in here."
"It's not that bad," Faith said, embarrassed by his offer.
"Maybe I'm projecting, but I'd last all of a week before I'd try chewing through a wall just to relieve the boredom," Xander said, "the least I can do is get you a TV in your cell so you can be bored watching Passions."
"Passions?" Faith asked.
"A soap opera Joyce and Spike bonded over," Xander explained, "I used to be stuck watching it with him during the afternoons."
"Did someone give him a soul?" Faith asked trying to picture Xander hanging out with a vamp and failing.
"No, but a secret military project stuck a chip in his brain that gave him electric shocks every time he tried to harm a human being," Xander explained, "and somehow that lead to him hanging around us and being… useful."
"They listen in on what we're talkin' about in here," Faith warned, "so it's probably best not to mention anything about secret government projects."
"I played dumb well enough to get out of signing the NDA's," Xander said with a smirk.
Faith turned to Angel, a question in her eyes.
"Non-Disclosure-Agreements," he explained.
"I'll try to avoid spilling any government secrets anyway," Xander said. "Is there anything else you need that I can help with?"
"Wouldn't mind some conjugal visits," Faith joked.
Xander nodded. "I'll see what I can do," he promised.
*BUZZ*
"Looks like our time is up," Xander said with a sigh. "I'll try to stop by when I can. Stay safe!"
"Uh… you too," Faith replied numbly, shocked at his response and hoping it didn't show.
Xander and Angel went through the standard pat down and metal detector scan by the guards before he asked, "Who do I see about upgraded amenities for an inmate? You know, like renting a TV and other comforts?"
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"You look like Claude Rains," Xander told Angel as he wrapped himself in bandages once more so Jamie could drive them back to the hotel.
"I'd miss visiting time if I didn't," Angel replied, slightly muffled by the bandages across his lips.
"Still, it's good of you to do this," Xander said as they drove out of the underground parking garage.
"It's what I do now," Angel said, "help people."
"Are you coming with us to Sunnydale?" Jamie asked.
"I better not," Angel said, "my team may need me and it's best I'm not around Buffy."
Xander nodded. "Anything important going on back home?"
"Nothing urgent," Jamie reported.
"Good," Xander said relieved. He knew he'd just been away for a single day, but he still worried. "What's been going on that's non-urgent?"
"The Legion of Dorks, as Buffy put it, has disbanded with Warren in the ICU and we've taken over their surveillance system," Jamie reported. "It's made it a lot easier to locate demonic hot spots in town, though we need to add additional cameras to get full coverage."
"That's useful," Xander said. "What are the costs involved?"
"At least ten thousand for the needed hardware and fifty dollars a month for upkeep and replacement moving forward," Jamie replied as she drove.
"Ten thousand is a bit steep, I'll have to start putting away money for it," Xander decided.
"Tony Stark transferred thirty thousand dollars to your account for your help with the Hulk."
"Oh," Xander said surprised, "that's… wow."
"You helped with the Hulk?" Angel asked in shock.
"I gave him some advice," Xander replied. "It was nothing."
"They executed your plan for dealing with the Hulk and took him into custody with no further property damage or injuries just hours after you suggested it," Jamie said. "Also, Stark called last night with a technical problem and a female answered the phone and gave him a solution on how to safely drain excess gamma radiation, before squealing that she was going to have sex with you and hanging up."
"Must have been Fred," Xander said. "Still, I told him I charged fifteen per hour not fifteen thousand."
"He probably misunderstood," Jamie replied, "and it's not like that amount means all that much to him."
"True," Xander said. "Okay, new plan. Buy the equipment we need to cover Sunnydale and transfer fifteen thousand to Fred's account, since she is the one Stark consulted with last night."
"Got it," Jamie said, pulling into the Taco Bell drive through where Hancock was arguing with the cashier through the speaker system, a bottle of whiskey in his left hand that he gestured with as he spoke.
"A car could hit me and I wouldn't even feel it, just sell me some damn tacos!" Hancock yelled.
Xander leaned out the passenger window. "Hey, Hancock. Hop in, I've got it."
"Seriously?" Hancock asked suspiciously.
"You've saved a lot of lives the least I can do is buy you some tacos," Xander said.
"Actually I was going for some gorditas," Hancock said, rubbing the side of his head.
"I'll get you a dozen," Xander said, "hop in."
"Hancock climbed in the back and sat on the side. "What's up with the invisible man?" he asked when Xander slid open the middle section of the back window.
"He's allergic to sunlight," Xander replied before turning to Jamie. "Double my order and add a dozen gorditas."
"What is he, a vampire?" Hancock asked with a snort.
"Hey, John," Angel said, giving him a small wave.
"Angel?" Hancock asked. "I thought you were dead, I haven't seen you in years."
"I dried out, cleaned myself up, and I run a detective agency now," Angel replied.
"Really?" Hancock asked in disbelief as they pulled forward and Jamie ordered.
"Drinking myself to death obviously wasn't going to work and someone gave me a chance to do something more, to be something more, so I took it," Angel explained.
Hancock nodded slowly as he considered what Angel had said. "Just like that?"
"No, it was a lot of hard work, but… you have to start somewhere," Angel said honestly.
"I didn't know you knew Hancock," Xander told Angel, "but then I didn't know he existed until I watched him save a guy from a train a couple of cars in front of me."
Hancock winced. "Yeah, you don't want to know what the property damage on that was."
"Pfft," Xander waved it off. "You can always fix things, bringing people back from the dead… actually it costs about five hundred bucks, but then there was the death demon we had to kill and the first slayer attacks in our dreams… let's just say I'd rather deal with property damage."
Hancock gave him a look that said 'are you kidding me?' and he turned to Angel who nodded. "Man, you have a weird life and that's me saying it. How did you not here about me? Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm kinda a big deal in the news."
"There's a spell on my hometown that screws with people's perception to hide anything unusual," Xander replied with a shrug.
"Man, your life is more like a comic book than mine is, and I'm a superhuman," Hancock said.
"That's life in Sunnydale for you," Xander said as they pulled forward and bags of food were passed to them and Jamie paid.
"That one has the gorditas," Angel said passing it through the sliding window to Hancock.
"Thanks," Hancock said, standing up in the back of the truck. "I'll see you around, I gotta go talk to someone." He crouched down for a second before launching himself into the sky causing the truck bed to buckle and the truck to bounce three feet off the ground.
"And that's why you always wear your seatbelt," Xander joked.
"Bed is dented and he forgot his whiskery," Jamie noted, before pulling out into the street, ignoring the teens recording them on their cell phones, a common occurrence around Hancock.
"Did you pick up the butcher paper?" Xander asked Jamie.
"Along with a large assortment of markers, a graphing calculator and a compass," she replied.
"Good, that should keep her happy," Xander said. "You don't mind her staying there, right?" he asked Angel.
"I've got plenty of room," Angel assured him.
"Good," Xander said, "I just need to drop some stuff off, pick up the chest of jewelry and I can be back in Sunnydale by dinnertime tonight. I'll grab my crew in the morning and be back by noon."
"Sounds good," Angel said as they pulled up in front of the Hyperion. "Pick your crew carefully," he warned, "it's not completely safe here since it's a business."
"I'll have a little talk with them," Xander said as they climbed out of the truck and Jamie retrieved the supplies for Fred out of the back.
"You might also want to warn them about me," Angel said, "I don't want anyone to panic if they see anything."
"I'll cover it," Xander assured him as they entered the hotel and Angel removed the bandages he'd wrapped around himself, taking a minute to fix his hair, much to Xander's amusement.
0o0o0o0o0o
"He's definitely not a plant," Stark said as he read the file SHIELD had created on Alexander Harris, "I think even the Girl Scouts would have done a better job creating an identity."
"His grades don't match the intelligence he's shown," Natasha said with a frown.
"You're thinking like a spy, not a teen," Stark said. "He blew off school work as a waste of time. I've seen grades like that from some of the researchers I've hired. Grades aren't an accurate reflection of potential intelligence unless you can convince the student to apply themselves."
"Child psychology is not one of my fields of study," Natasha admitted.
"Dad made me take some courses," Tony said absently. "We're going to have to widen our net to catch this fish."
"I've already got agents compiling files on his associates," Natasha said, wondering if he was going to lecture her on how to tie her shoes next.
"Sir, I have two video files for you," Jarvis announced.
"Play them," the billionaire said.
The first video started playing on the wall monitor showing Alexander visiting Faith Lehane in jail.
"Hellmouth?" Natasha asked a touch of concern leaking into her voice, but she remained quiet while the rest of the video played.
"Jarvis see what you can dig up on that project he mentioned," Tony ordered.
"And a dossier on Faith Lehane," Natasha added.
"Doing so now," Jarvis reported as he started a second clip that showed Xander and two unidentified individuals with Hancock at Taco Bell, filmed from a cell phone.
"He knows Hancock," Natasha said curiously.
"And the Invisible Man," Tony said, gesturing at the screen.
"Or a very unreliable assassin," Natasha said, her eyes narrowing. She debated with herself for a few seconds before saying, "Jarvis, there is a CIA project named Matchbook, please check and see if they have misplaced any of their agents."
"Yes Ma'am," Jarvis replied, taking Tony's curious look as permission when he didn't countermand her request.
"Who or what is a Hellmouth?" Tony asked. "I saw your reaction to it, and you usually are a lot more controlled. Is it some old Russian program?"
"No," Natasha said. "How well informed are you on supernatural matters?"
"It's all bunk, a load of hooey," Tony said, obviously quoting someone.
"I guess I'll have to start at the beginning then," Natasha said, affecting an English accent. "This world is older than you know…"
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: Man Xander is really throwing a spanner into everyone's expectations again, but this time Tony gets to find out about the supernatural stuff. Can't wait to see if anyone interesting is in his work crew, and how many more times Tony is going to call for advice.