Hey everyone! A new chapter! Yay :) Finally got this one done. Sorry for the extremely long wait again. I had horrible writer's block (mainly with the last section) and then of course I caught a cold, and on top of that family issues/drama. But all is better for now. Hope all of my readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving if you celebrate it! I hope you all enjoy! R&R~
The clock on the other side of the room was seen clearly, indicating the late afternoon's arrival. The tamed sound of the hand slowly progressing was amply heard by the teen who attempted to ignore the signs of movement surrounding him, the colossal upsurges of noise clashing against his headache. Being on his own only proved what he already ignored to be true. He seemingly failed to recognize why when swept away by his rampaging uncertainties.
The station was active, many communicating and few paying any mind to the current situation. He was merely grateful to the warmth ventilating into the room despite the fever he presently had flashing its reminder every throbbing second. After all the passing days he spent out in the rampant weather, his mind was clouded by indecision, leaving miniature traces of why he became so insistent on pursuing life on the streets. If it wasn't for his habit of sinking when away from those he needed, he might have endured a while longer before sensibility came into play. Every lie he murmured to himself, every echoing reverberation he felt in his body through the mere insufficiency to do anything right, didn't nullify the festering fear of inadequacy burned into his core. It was a smoldering sensation of biting pain growing in the rise of his chest. He wanted to tame the feeling, lose it if he could, but knew better than believing he had a chance.
Shawn was lying down on a row of seats, his eyes forcibly focused on the ceiling, fumbling with the zipper on his jacket to preoccupy his agitated fingers while Jon was talking to the policeman. A lengthy sigh replaced any thoughts he wanted to mutter aloud. His head was pounding at the back of his skull, the lights intensifying the building sting he felt crowd over him. He knew unattained sleep was necessary but felt the tricking sense of insomnia reaching him as the idea occurred. Another icy chill snaked itself around him, zapping the only mounted strength he could feel persistent enough in his muscles as his arm moved, resting against his heated forehead. The damp clothing was ignored. He was used to the feel already. Exhaustion was evident in his isolated stare. He wasn't in the mood to hear the extended lecture bound to come within due time but knew he deserved one.
Jon's glance briefly wandered in the direction of his student before he began speaking. He leaned forward on the desk, his hands folded on the wooded surface, relief etched into his features knowing the easy part was complete. Finding Shawn achieved the hype of difficultly they assumed but the rest was sure to avalanche. Simply catching the other before further damage could be done wouldn't toss aside the rough road ahead. "What exactly did he do?" Turner asked in a weary tone when rounding his gaze forward.
"He's charged on a few accounts," the man explained when sliding the paperwork forward. All the evidence piled up and pinpointed the culprit as someone older than the boy they caught. He was without a doubt guilty of breaking the law, but not the one taking lead in any transaction. Considering Shawn was often seen around the station for petty acts, this was a steep step up from the usual. "The major ones are thievery, the selling of stolen merchandise, and underage drinking. If you want to fill out the forms, they're right here."
Twenty minutes gradually passed before Jon's near inaudible footsteps were heard against the tile. "Well, that's something new," he began with underlying frustration dropping his tone. "Drinking? Where could you have possibly gotten your hands on alcohol?" He couldn't fathom how fast his student plummeted. Shawn distinctively placed himself above the act when ridiculing his father over the phone about it but apparently something sparked a change in his perspective, indisputably it was him hanging around the wrong crowd. "And yeah, before you ask, we do have to do this now or else we're never going to talk about it."
"It's doesn't matter," he protested jadedly, remaining still for a few extended seconds before he pushed himself up to continue. The room spun, blurs speeding past his sight before they conformed, painting a vibrant scene to his stinging eyes. "Shouldn't you be more concerned with the other stuff?" He brought his palm up to shield the new light as he breathed out. "It was just one drink… not a big deal."
"The others are done and over. This could turn into a real problem and I seriously doubt it was only one from the report," Turner combated, his hand tracing his jawline as he attempted to formulate his next sentence. "Look, if your dad has a drinking problem, it could very well be passed to you. Genetics have proven that." He wasn't even remotely sure on how to deal with this type of problematic issue. "I'm not saying you will, but it has to be considered, especially with your fever taken into account. But you not seeing this as a big deal makes it worse."
"Don't overreact," he breathed out irritably. His glare dropped to the ground, not able to maintain contact over the discussion and its well-known territories. "You're going to turn this small thing into something when it doesn't mean anything." He shrugged his shoulders, a solemn expression taking hold as he peered up. His voice was evidently quiet, lacking any form of emotion. "But come on, did you honestly expect anything less of me? I know what I am, Jon. A disappointment. I thought you figured that out by now… Everyone else has…"
Turner sat next to him, placing his arm around Shawn's lax shoulders. The disparaging tendency felt in the teen's posture and placed into his tone set alarms off. "I never saw you that way. You've made some bad choices and got knocked down a few times and now you're faced with the repercussions. But they don't have to be considered a bad thing." He lowered his head, still not attaining any form of attention. "If we want to play the blame game, maybe I wasn't there enough to see more than what you showed. I could have been better too. The last thing I ever wanted was to see you going through this alone."
Silence resulted from the reply. Shawn sighed when regaining his voice. "You didn't know. If I had it my way, no one would've found out, not that you wouldn't have noticed," he responded simply, turning his head away. As his fatigue festered, his annoyance simmered, losing any previously provided fuel. He could foresee the events playing out this way no matter which direction he would have chosen. Sparing the details to Cory might have been the downfall, also including his dad's impeccable timing, but as for the results, he anticipated no less. He hit the bottom and found no company there either. "But hey, I should have known better, no reason to think different. This is what happens…" He paused, playing idly with his fingers. "I'm tired… Do we have to keep talking?"
Jon shook his head, clearly seeing the unappealing consequence of delving into the topic when the other wasn't in the state of mind to converse, let alone throw any reaction into the discussion. "No, we don't," he said, noticing the time. "I want you to pay attention when I say this though." He waited for any reply but received none. "Shawn, looking in my direction would at least let me know you're hearing me."
"I'm listening," he indicated when subtly shifting his head towards his teacher. "I don't always seem like I am, but I do hear you…" It wasn't constantly apparent, typically played off whenever something unpleasant was brought up. But he's learned when talking with Jon, that his words always held significance, even if he didn't realize at the time. He could feel the elusive rise of déjà vu running circles around his mind, replaying the memories that virtually immobilized him.
"I'm on your side no matter what. I don't want you to forget that. You're probably tired of batting around all the negativities in your life to the point where you want to quit. But every ounce of the Shawn Hunter I know is a fighter, a person who cares so deeply about those he loves that he puts them ahead of himself without a second thought, yet someone who never had it easy. Throughout everything you've been through, you proved all those destructive voices wrong. But it finally hit you hard and you can't stand up on your own this time," he softly explained. He could instantly recognize the glimmer of defeat in Shawn's spared glance. "You feel lost, hopeless because nothing is going right, but you can't let all of that take you down. You know if you ever need anything, I'm right here."
He offered an inkling of understanding in his positioned silence in place of recognition. "Can we go now?" he asked dejectedly, masking any present acceptance to what was said. He knew his teacher meant well, speaking nothing but truth. However, igniting the decline of defeat was proceeded with little effort when compared to opposing the stress of recovery. At the moment, he was too exhausted to talk but knew a better suited reply was required. "I get what you're saying, really I do, but right now I can't even think straight."
He still had plenty of ground to cover with this overall topic. Nevertheless, a few minor points had to be dealt with first and foremost. Jon nodded, somberly accepting the reply. He could cover the subject when they got home. Whatever misery Shawn was dealing with seemed to take over. He didn't blame the kid for falling prey to it after all the stumbles he's had recently. "Here's the deal. I paid your bail, we go back to my apartment, you get some needed sleep, and then we have a long discussion about this. I already called the others so they know you're safe but I am not by any means letting you off the hook or out of my sight. Understand?"
"Yeah, fine," he answered with reduced care, his hands presented in surrender. He couldn't recall how long it's been since he last visited Jon at his place. After his teacher recovered, the avoiding went underway, controlling and steering his routine off course. He stood, feeling another strike of vertigo restrain him. A sharp inhale was taken. "I guess there was never such a thing as getting you out of my life, was there?"
He allowed Shawn to use his arm to relocate a form a balance. It could simply be the overwhelming tiredness, but at least for the moment his student was cooperating. It was a wise decision since a delicate matter such as this needed to be handled with caution. "Not a chance. And keep in mind, I'm going anywhere anytime soon."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he replied with a hint of sarcasm, causing his teacher to offer a small smile at the comment as they left.
"I don't want to talk about any of it right now," Shawn complained the second a harmless question was thrown his way as they entered the apartment. The place looked exactly as he remembered, a mirrored recollection of his last visit. Returning struck a chord with him, the nostalgia of living within these very walls and becoming accustomed to it without much needed adjustment. When he knew his company at Cory's was unwelcome, he felt being here was right. Nothing fought the impression until too much time passed or possibly he wanted out before the set of permanent arrangements took hold. He spared a measly glance behind him, his weariness provoking aggravation. "I really didn't do anything wrong. Why don't you see that?"
"Sure you didn't and the whole police mishap was a complete misunderstanding," Jon counted, shutting the door. He took a breath to calm his nerves. He was tired as well, spending endless hours on the lookout. It appeared that both of them were at their wit's end. However, there was plenty left to do now that his student was in the motion of being safe. He didn't want to assume all problems were solved too hastily. "Do you take me for a fool? I know what happened and I'm not unaware of what life out there is like."
"No, I don't… But I do take you as sympathetic guy who would at least let me take a nap before yelling at me or whatever," he mumbled, falling onto the couch, instantly shutting his eyes. The overwhelming lethargy swept over him, granting his agonizing headache time to recede. He didn't even bother to remove his jacket, still feeling the sting of cold layered down by the radiating heat. Choosing to ignore the symptoms he suffered from was an easy feat when batted against his tiredness.
Jon rubbed his temples. He not only had to keep an eye on Shawn's condition to take the precautionary steps if any sign escalated, but he also needed to keep in mind that this was all new ground to cover. His student never caught anything severe when he originally lived with him. Being propelled into fatherhood before was difficult enough. He was completely unprepared when forming the commitment he thought he could handle. Taking care of his student provided more difficulties than anticipated, but allowed an irreplaceable bond to form between them, one he'd never dismiss or lose sight of. "Trust me, the last thing I want to do is keep you up any longer. You need sleep. If that fever doesn't break and you don't get some food down soon, I'll have to take you to the hospital."
"I don't want to go anywhere. Besides, I'm not a huge fan of hospitals," he grumbled lowly, his head remaining down, muffling his words. His muscles were sore making the idea of travelling anymore distance far from appealing. The second his mind veered to relying on anyone other than himself, it meshed with his primal instinct of vanishing to take the world on without a guided hand. The pull of others ultimately led him to losing his grip on stability. The downfall was one he never braced prepared, despite the numerous times he took the plunge. No matter the multiple instances he was lured into leaving, he never had a clue on what would happen if the act was followed through. "I'm not that bad. I'll be better before you know it. Then no more problem."
Turner shook his head in disagreement as he searched through the cabinets. There wasn't anything suitable to eat for someone fighting an unknown illness. He had to add food shopping onto the list as well. He curved his head back, knowing this entire event somehow shattered the trust they formed over the years and shared without question. It was being challenged after the unforeseen incident took place. "Let a doctor say that and I'll believe it."
He shifted his head, angling his vision enough to follow his teacher's movements. "Oh, so you don't believe me?" he asked with attached offence. "I guess you're just going to blow me off and take what I'm saying as lies again? Because that's not what I need right now." He rolled over, his hand pressed against his forehead as he sat up. He felt the urge boil up in him, the one he's been listening to recently. "I'll go if that's the case."
"Stay, alright," Turner replied, gently putting some pressure on his student's shoulder as he passed, causing him to remain seated. "You're not really giving me much to go off of here." He took a few trying steps, heading towards the closet. "You can say you're fine all you want but clearly that won't hold. I'm trying to do the responsible thing and take care of you so don't fight me on this. I'll hear you out on whatever it is you want to say, but understand that ditching me in your condition is the worst possible decision you could make right now. I'm not asking much from you. Take it easy for a few days and relax. There's nothing wrong with letting yourself heal."
Shawn buried his head into the pillow, a frustrated exhale released in the process. His own father never paid much attention to this kind of situation, ultimately telling him to sleep it off, while his mom offered a more parental approach if he became worse. A drawn pause was presented as he began mulling his thoughts. Turning over, he dropped his angered tone when continuing. "I know I was being selfish when I left and tried to stay gone… I get that much. It's what I do, make mistakes that ruin everything." His sentence drifted, tired of hearing his own self-indulged criticisms. "I'm sorry for making you go through the trouble when I know exactly what it's like to have someone leave…"
"The funny thing about selfishness is knowing it's doubled sided," he corrected, leaning against the arm of the couch. His gaze caught the inquiring look the other offered. "You were hurting, but by leaving and having all of us worry, that transferred a form of hurt onto us. It's all on different levels, that much is true, but we took some of the burden and that's something we all carry around. You define who you are by the actions you take when life hands you complications like this and learn when you make the wrong ones."
"And yet you're not complaining about any of it," he stated quietly. "But right, you're not going through it. You're on the sidelines where it's safe. You're not the one who gets stuck with the tough decisions or loses faith in those you used to believe in when you can't even trust yourself." He hesitated, swiping his bangs aside. "I'd say the level of comprehension we have isn't as shared as you think…"
"Shawn, I'm part of this, like it or not. I'm not going to pretend with you or offer lies to make this better. I have a feeling that's what brought this full circle to begin with. If you be honest with me and stick this out, I'll play by your rules. You want me to back off, that's fine. But I'm putting you first. That's what you need right now more than anything." He stood up, taking the nonexistent reply as a positive one and rounded to another topic. "I'm going to have Cory drop off some dry clothes for you since he'll be here right after school the second his parents let him know what happened."
He was still for a moment, the absence of noise drawing conclusion to his mind. In order for his life to regain order and mend itself, he had to shoulder his reliance on others, something he was touchy with from day one. He questioned if he could handle the gamble of doing so again. It always rounded back to him, causing more complications. "Can you also ask him to bring my backpack that I left at his house? I forgot it and I need something important in there," he said, closing his eyes as drowsiness anchored over him.
"Sure," Jon responded, placing a blanket over his student. Before he could say anything more, Shawn was fast asleep. He leaned back against the counter, taking a moment to think as the calm to his mental storm finally had the chance to settle in. At the very least, he could relax a little himself while keeping an eye on the other.
Shawn cracked open his eyes after moving in the attempt to find more comfort, ultimately waking from his long hours of sleep. The lights were left on, allowing a suitable amount of visibility. The distant brash sound of rain outside was heard beating against the window, the sky still catering its capacity to the darkening grey clouds. "When did you get here?" he asked with a dazed expression, seeing his best friend sitting on the adjacent chair. He dismissed the pounding headache he received from the sudden swarm of the brightly coated room and held his head up. He pushed the blanket aside, a rush of heat striking him prior to the action. He closed his eyes and leaned back. Hidden behind the veil of his uncertainty was a form of relief upon seeing the other. It was a single impression only Cory could enforce after any undesirable event unfolded.
"I was here for a while with Topanga but she had to go home. Mr. Turner went out to get some medicine and food since he hasn't gone shopping in a few days," he replied quietly. His fears were instantly alleviated when hearing the news from his parents but now that he was in the same room as Shawn once again, something didn't settle right. He knew his friend was lost in torment he would never comprehend. Jon had explained a few sparing details but wasn't too keen on explanation when he had other matters constricting his mind, mostly if he could keep Shawn out of harm's way until the two could talk rationally.
He pushed himself up, the weight of the world returning to his shoulders. The instantaneous feel of wanting to close off and sleep was adamant. With each receding tide of awareness he displayed while struggling to maintain focus, he could already sense the amount of strain it was presenting. His face felt flushed of color while his stomach churned. He could tell the last bit of alcohol he drank didn't wear off yet and the mix of his fever didn't help matters. "Why stay then? It's pretty late," he managed to say after a few coughs left his throat raw.
It was clear that Shawn was found before his illness really took hold. He knew the other had caught something, and assumed he would, after his father explained the phone call, but didn't expect it to be this bad. It was almost disheartening to see just how far the other would go, but more shocking to not have seen the fall occur. He had been there with Shawn through more than one spiraling event after another. Cory leaned forward, dragging out the meager seconds before conjuring the needed spark of conversation left on his mind. "You had us worried."
"Oh, here we go." He fell back into the cushion, the side of his head left throbbing. The consequence of the unsettling quandary that remained tethered to his heels was beginning to cause a crack in the seams of his façade before he could resist holding them back. It was a resilient residual effect left prying at the eyes of the curious and baffling to the ones left in the dark. They all were still wandering the shadows of untold secrets. The depth of the build up with his parents was stacked and measured throughout his life but despite it all, he didn't want to repeat anymore of the biting words left haunting him. "I had enough of all this talk," he muttered on a holding breath. "I heard this already, okay?"
"No, it's not okay. Not anymore." He moved and sat down on the couch. He could read the other without any doubt. There wasn't a single connecting flicker of hope dangling in his presented tone or shown in his features. He wondered why this time had changed the repercussions so greatly. If his parents constantly found reason to uproot their lives and take off for unseen time, then why was this one a crashing blow? "You're not handling any of this… And personally I don't think you ever were." He looked over, his frown deepening. "How alone do you think you are?"
Shawn allowed silence to single out the question. The first time his mother left was when he was only nine, a mere child. He remembered his dad trying to explain why she wasn't coming home and how he'd be gone to bring her back. It was the start of a tumbling and repetitive feeling of loneliness he never found a cure for until they moved to Philadelphia and he met Cory. However, the edge was coming closer every vexing step. Nothing seemed to dissolve into oblivion after he shoved it to the back of his mind anymore. It would locate a miniscule flaw in his shielded design and take control. He used to believe otherwise, only to learn it wouldn't die. He turned his head. "Alone enough."
He sighed, resting his elbows against his knees as he leaned forward. "Really? So, that makes me, Topanga, Turner, and the rest of my family no one? Do we not count?" he asked immediately. "You know I can understand if you talk to me. I mean, come on, Shawn, I'm not some stranger here. You're treating me as if I don't have a clue. And yeah, I don't know what it feels like to have my own family walk out on me, but you're like a brother to me and you did leave without any intention of coming back." He stood up, choosing to instead sit on the small table to make sure he had the other's attention. "But you're acting as if I'm not right here, as if I don't exist. Well, now I'm going to tell you how you're wrong."
"You know that's not true. I wouldn't purposely cast you aside like that, not you or anyone else. It's not always easy being forced to go through this without a choice," he immediately stated, pushing himself up slowly. Realization was comprehended on both their ends. Splicing it through the center only proved the difference within their similarities. He pressed a hand against his forehead. "Cory, I don't mean to-"
"You do but I need you to listen to me," he interrupted calmly. "I'm sure Mr. Turner already explained what lengths we've all been going through to find you and maybe simply knowing that doesn't hit home. But if any of us didn't want you around or valued your friendship the way we do, we wouldn't have shown a drop of care. When you needed someone for literally anything, you've always relied on me. You knew I'd always come through. And you've done the same for me countless times. You're the one that said it's Cory and Shawn and from that moment on nothing else mattered. Nothing ever changed that because you defined us. Friends through anything and everything. Right now you're hurting and I'm here, like I always am. You can't change who we are. It's not possible."
He never wanted to trade that security for the world or allow it to be washed away by the waves of his guileless internal confliction. That declaration he made years ago never faded, a determined foothold. He has tried to break it off before anything else could, but it was a fruitless effort. He'd wind up right back. "I'm not trying to," Shawn replied tonelessly, his eyes fixated on the ground. What he was striving for wasn't to push anyone further for virtuous reasons, they were self-centered ones.
"You're not broken and you're not giving yourself enough credit," he added without more upheaval in his confrontational disagreement towards Shawn's behavior. His friend was one who needed to be repeatedly reminded, sometimes with an insinuation of harsh reality. "I don't expect you to handle this like it was nothing. You're human and allowed to hurt. But I didn't think you'd actually do this to yourself. You got caught up in this mess and made yourself sick." He knew it was a vain escape from the pain, but it knowingly implanted more. "You might not have a lot, but that handful you own is pretty amazing."
"What makes you say that?" Shawn questioned when peering up, his glance coated in disbelief. Jon had told him once before that only a select amount of people existed who cared wholeheartedly about an individual. It was mentioned before the accident transpired, in the middle of one of the worst mistakes he made had begun. But then again, this one probably trumped the previous by a landslide. Regret already made its presence known, branded in the aftermath and marked as one of the many reasons he was feeling terrible. "Most friends or family I have aren't real when it actually matters…"
"I guess in the end, we're all you got," Cory provided, a slight shrug given. "It's not a bad deal. I think what you have is irreplaceable. Even though your parents aren't in the picture right now, you still have a family and no matter where you or any of us go, someone will always be there for you. And maybe some of us get caught up in whatever life deals us, but all you have to do is let us know you need someone and you get all of us." He knew since day one their friendship was meant to survive the chaos, the misery, the loss, and the joy given to them. That outlined their family and separated them from the rest.
When he took the fall, saw it coming over the horizon and hurling down with a deafening collision in its course, he should have permitted his voice to be heard over the blast. "Except my parents of course, the one's that raised me and are supposed to care more than anyone," he replied bitterly, bringing his hands together. "You'd think I'd get it by now… They don't want me. Well, now I hear them loud and clear… And you know what? It still hurts." He shook his head and got up, pressing his hand against the side table to salvage some form of balance. "I still question when you guys are going to follow their example… I'm not like you or Jon and the rest. Every time I think I can finally be happy, it gets swept away. Yeah, out there I wasn't safe, but I wasn't supposed to find more reason to think that. It's not surprising that I did though."
"You have to understand that not everything that happens to you is leading to another loss. When I look at the way your life has played out, I can see plenty of reasons to feel the way you do. It makes enough sense when the world feels like it's isolating you, but you've disregarded us. No matter what I say, I can't convince you. I've tried on more than one occasion. So, instead I'll prove it." Cory placed his hand on his friend's shoulder when standing beside him, before rounding in front of him. "Let me ask you this, why did you tell Turner about what was going on?"
Shawn pressed his lips, tilting his head. "Because you broke your promise and you didn't leave me much of a choice. You did lie to me, but I know you did for the only reason you ever do. That doesn't mean I wasn't a little mad over it. Jon was the last person I wanted to get involved in another one of my problems."
"You were probably going to tell him anyway. Even I know that," he conveyed lightly. For some unknown purpose Shawn exposed more of his fears regarding a wide variety of all the misgivings he's gained to Turner. It was apparent when he typically chose to head here instead of coming to his house. There wasn't any form of distrust to the tenacity. He was glad Shawn decided to entrust someone else within a confidence of the fatherly figure Jon presented with or without Chet around. "So, why tell him? Why go to him out of everyone else?" There was a drawn pause where the other ambiguously shrugged off his reply. "The moment he offered you a place to call home, he became important. He loves you like a son and would do anything to make sure you're safe and somewhere deep down you know that. You've seen how far he'd go for you."
"And that's the problem," he blurted out. "Over and over again it's this pattern. Forgive me for getting tired of seeing the same result." He walked past and headed over to the window, resting his arm against the glass, watching the drops of water slide down before being struck by more. His head inclined forward, the brush of cold against his forehead simmering his annoyance. "It's just too hard sometimes…"
He headed over, crossing his arms when resting his head back against the wall. "It doesn't have to be anything more than what it is. Shawn, I've known you almost my whole life and you've never once given up." He's never witnessed the breaking point. Observing the fissures was one common factor that ultimately withstood repair, but never persuaded to induce further reason to lose sight. "What's different this time?"
"I'm different, Cory," he exhaled, turning his stare towards the outside. "But that's the point, you've never seen me give up. It doesn't mean I haven't before… I can be a handful and I know I'm not the best son to have, but I look at what you have with your family and... I wonder why I can't have that too. My parents only have to deal with me for eighteen years, then I'd be gone. Chop out all the time I was left by myself and you want to know what that leaves? Nothing. I never really had any parents, except when your dad treats me like family… and Jon. He's done more for me than I thought possible. It was the first time I finally felt like I was going to be alright. We had plenty of difficulties when living together the first time, but I came back here every day without the fear of him leaving me alone. Okay, that's why I would have told him. I realized after the motorcycle accident… My own father isn't around much but he always is and in a matter of seconds he might have been gone for good. I couldn't take knowing I caused that. So, yeah, I pushed him away when I needed him the most and then ran off to make sure he'd be okay... I wasn't only doing this for me…"
"He'd never be okay not knowing if you're alright. But he found you. You're back where you belong. And if you're still not sure about that, well, I think you figured it out enough not to question yourself. I know the circumstances to you being here aren't by your own terms, but you stayed so far. Granted it's hasn't even been twenty-four hours yet. That has to mean something," he suggested attentively. He sought any indication that his words were getting through. Nevertheless, he couldn't tell. "You don't want to leave, which is why you didn't want to come here in the first place. It's like being thrown back into a life of security you used to have and I get it. It's scary to know that feeling."
"Yeah," he exhaled, his breath fogging the window. With all inclinations piercing that conclusion in his head, he didn't want to succumb. It was harmless to those around to express the exact thoughts, nearly proving to be impervious for more detriment to come his way. There was a rhythm to the palpitated upraise of giving in to the situation presented. He wanted to stay but if the circumstances weren't as grim as they were, he might not have. To interrogate it was making his headache flare up. "I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is send myself back out there in that. Especially when you're right... I'd rather be here."
"And why is that?" Cory asked, slipping his hands into his pockets, glad he finally got through to some degree. Turner must have known he could at the rate this event evolved. The amount of internal knowledge he attained outweighed his lack of understanding before arrival. He was aware of the expanding crevasses this matter was creating, but knew time would cover them. He and Topanga didn't get far in their investigative tactics in finding Chet and Verna but now the incentive was unyielding.
Shawn lifted his head, offering an effort to the inquiry. "Because… I don't want to live my life losing people who actually care. I've done too much of that. It doesn't change the problem with my parents or how I feel about them, but I'll try it your way. I can't say I one hundred percent agree that it will make this better though."
"It's a start," Cory said with a smile forming. He wasn't sure how long the endeavor would last or if it would hold out. If Chet was found, he had a feeling Shawn wouldn't want to talk to him and would close himself off again. Still, he needed to have a hand in concluding this issue whether he wanted to or not. Shawn's parents might continuously find motives to leave time and time again. He knew his friend would eventually want the same thing, once all is settled and his health was again restored. "No more running away?"
"For now," he agreed, taking a step away from the window. It might only be carried out on a whim or even in faltering words, but he'd take a stab at keeping his promise this time around. He might be like his dad when it came to oaths at times, well attuned to that aspect, but could at least try to prove his own worth. Cory would usually be taken down with him in any venture. It was a gamble to set in a new motion, even if it had no assurance. "I'll let you know next time before I do anything so you can talk me out of it."
"Good, that's what I'm here for." It might be a hassle or inconvenient when the nature of their relationship was left on repeat. Shawn would eventually discover a firm stability. Life wasn't free of these types of problems at any given capacity, which they both knew. At the very least he can rest easy knowing his friend would be here.
The front door opened, a cold wind storming in. "You're supposed to be resting," Jon said, pushing the door shut with his arm. "I'm pretty sure you don't want to get worse and your condition is bad enough to start with." Since Shawn was walking around, hopefully something was figured out. He could tell their discussion ended on a positive note. He placed the groceries he bought on the counter, staring to take them out. "You don't look any better." He glanced over momentarily, seeing he actually appeared to be worse.
"I need something to drink," he replied tiredly, walking over to the fridge and opening the door. In retrospect he should get more sleep but a rapid thirst overcame him. His throat being dry was only the beginning of further symptoms to come. "You don't have anything." He supported his arms on the table, resting his chin on his folded hands.
"If you wanted water or something, I could have gotten you some," Cory offered when helping put things away. He glimpsed over at the clock. It was close to midnight and he still needed to call his dad to be picked up since the weather remained treacherous. There was opportunity to stay as long as he needed and he obviously took it. "Mr. Turner is right. You really should be laying down. I'm sure you're probably really tired anyway."
"No, not water. That's not going to help," he complained, putting his head down. It's only been an extended amount of hours to the point where anything would quench his thirst but he didn't care for something different than what he's been drinking in replace of everything else.
Jon stopped, his finger tapping a few times. He had a feeling this issue would arise soon. According to the police report the alcohol content in his student's system was high, a deplorable amount for anyone and a surprising fact for him to learn. "Shawn, remember when I mentioned this could turn into a minor problem? This is how it starts," he said seriously.
"How what starts?" Cory inquired to the group, seemingly being ignored.
"I don't need you telling me that." He paused, aware of his predictable reply when looking up. Shawn felt compelled to argue his case, conscious that he was in the wrong to start with. The current of continuing was only going to tug him down further. It was an undisputable fact, one he could taste on the brim of his lips as he aimed to convince his point. "I know… but that's all I've been drinking for the last few days so I need something. Just one, that's all and then I'll stop." It was pointless to persuade an illegal act, but he wanted to give it a shot.
"Drinking what?" he tried again. "Does anyone want to fill me in here or what? Because you guys are giving me nothing."
"I don't have anything besides water and that's all you're going to get," Jon said, grabbing the last empty bag and tossing it in the garbage. "You still never told me how you got alcohol in the first place. I'd appreciate being filled in on how drinking even crossed your mind as a good idea. And trust me, I'm really intrigued to know because I'm telling you right now, Hunter, if you even think of doing that again, you got another thing coming."
"Just because you're the adult doesn't make everything you say law," he argued back when folding his arms. "Like I said at the police station, it's something you should have expected at one point." He started walking back over to the couch and sat down. There was no form of argumentation left in him. It was whisked away the instant his illness spiked. Besides the noticeable withdrawal he didn't want to face, he knew it wasn't going to remain a habit once he agreed to stay here. The regression of allowing the deed to go underway without Jon knowing presented itself as a plausible one. The repercussions wouldn't be favorable and not to mention the possibility was low. He decided to forget the thought for now. He also wasn't too keen on the look Turner sent his way. "Yeah, fine. I get it. No more…"
Cory was left confused. "Wait, you were drinking? How did that even happen?" That information wasn't an expected factor. Then again, nothing ever was when it came to Shawn at times. His habit of falling into acts was usually intensified by his surroundings. As far as he knew, his friend was barely surviving out there, but this presented another possibility to pass through his mind. And it wasn't necessarily one he liked to consider. Not that Shawn's judgment was measureable, his moral compass veered off course with little strain.
"It just did." The two sent him a gaze, waiting for more detail to be spared. He sighed, falling back into the cushion. The mention of this was sure to send an uproar of questions his way, many he eluded to bring up at all costs. His extended family was a topic of unease in most considerable areas. "Eddie offered me some after I helped him out. It kind of happened before I realized…" He knew further clarification was needed for Jon's expense. "He's someone who's not worth talking about… that's why no one besides Cory knows. He's my brother. Eddie left the trailer park a while back but I met up with him and he let me crash at a friend's place if I helped him out. I needed somewhere to stay that wasn't here. I took him up on the offer and you know the rest."
Cory brought his head back. "Eddie? Seriously? What were you doing hanging around that lowlife? I thought you didn't want anything to do with him after the last time we crossed paths." It was a year ago, but after the defense Shawn showed over the encounter, he figured they'd never have to deal with him a second time. Shawn was typically drawn to the wrong crowds when his mental state was damaged by conflict, a witnessed fact, but not one he'd place here.
This added another layer to an already disorderly mess. "And that's why you ended up getting arrested? This brother of yours?" Jon asked, putting the pieces together. Shawn's family was a mystery to him. Little was mentioned or brought up in conversation due to the scarcity of Shawn's desire to talk about much. He never wanted to ask since he also wasn't completely open to his family life, but talked about them when it was essential.
"Half-brother," he corrected when rubbing his temples. "Yeah, he ditched me when the cops showed up. Should have seen that one coming a mile away. My family never hands out favors or helps without a catch. But enough about that pointless stuff." The desire to change the subject presented itself with fair timing. He was exhausted, the tension mounting. The rejuvenation of switching off how open he was presently being, appeared sufficient at the moment. Beyond that aspect, he wanted to head back to sleep. "I would really like to wear something that isn't soaking wet. And please tell me you grew a little. Last time I borrowed your clothes, nothing fit right."
"We're almost the same height. You should be fine," Cory stated with a prolonged exhale. He could tell his friend was done. There was no possible angle to get more discussion to flow. He couldn't believe someone like Eddie was now added into the equation. Aware of Shawn's attitude with his brother, he knew having another reunion would provide additional critical quandaries. The Hunter family never left matters unresolved and his friend was sure to try and even the score. "Here's your backpack."
He took it and quickly went through the contents. "Good, it's not wet," Shawn said upon inhale, pulling his notebook out of the bag. It was the one possession he never went anywhere without. It held all of his quickly written poems to his longwinded needs of expression when verbal methods didn't suffice. As long as he had some way to cope, this would be a required one to utilize soon.
"Why was that so important?" Jon asked after handing him a glass of water. "I don't take you as someone who cares that much about his schoolwork. Speaking of which, we need to talk about school tomorrow. I don't expect you to go until you're better but you've still missed a lot of classes. I don't want your grades to be filled in with incompletes and zeroes." The fact that he was ditching classes before this started didn't help and now he'd be out for at least a week or more.
"Just is," he responded vaguely after taking a sip. "Especially to me. And schoolwork, come on, Jon, you know me better than that. You grade my work so you'd know." He placed his notebook on the table and headed towards the bathroom to shower and change. "School is the furthest thing from my mind right now. I'm probably going to be expelled anyway. Feeny knows I pulled that stunt. I'd be surprised if I wasn't already. Not that it matters. I don't have parents to care about that." He wasn't fazed when speaking the truth as he left.
"Do you really think he'll be okay?" Cory asked. He was curious to know what was in the notebook that made it significant but respected his friend's privacy too much to bother with it. "He seems far from it… I got him to talk to me and convinced him to stay but I never know for sure… And now there's this whole drinking problem. I don't know anymore. I can't keep up with him." He picked up the phone to call his parents. It was late but they'd be awake.
"Well, he's here. That's step one. Now he needs to relax and break that fever. I don't even know where to begin with everything else." Jon took a seat, exhaustion finally taking hold. He wouldn't find tranquility in rest until he knew for certain what was ahead for them. He couldn't fix anything with an unwilling participant. Fortunately for the both of them, they could get through any barrier restricting them. He couldn't always keep his promises either or hold onto those he cared for, sharing the same fears as his student. This was a challenge the two of them needed to face together, setting whatever went amiss straight again. He wasn't about to lose Shawn a second time.
They did it. They got Shawn to stay! He can be such a handful XD I got the Shawn and Cory scene in, based off of someone's requested dialogue and expanded so thank you! You know who you are ;) Some Jon and Shawn moments as well since I can't help myself. But now they are onto the next phase with helping him! Time for sick Shawn. This should be interesting to write. I'm sure all of you know that Shawn will be in this week's episode of Girl Meets World! I'm so excited! Can't wait to see how his life is going and reunions! It's going to be fantastic! Anyway, before I ramble on and on, thank you all for being patient again and I'll be sure to update as soon as possible!