Chapter 10

Just the Past

Thank you for Forever

A/N: hey guys, thanks for all of your wonderful reviews. I've decided to thank you all in the beginning of the chapter, instead of the end...so here goes...

tenshi cherry blossoms- yea she's confused... poor her... And I know what you mean. Krista is so conceited and evil. But don't worry; I'll knock some sense into her soon. Thanks for reviewing again. I look forward to hearing from you again!

fantasy kat- heyy! Thanks for your long review, I needed that. Anyway, I hope you didn't think the last chapter was too emotional... noo... that wouldn't be too good! Lols. About your story! Yay! I'm glad you're still keeping the second one. I'm sad you're deleting the first.. I kinda liked it...... but.. oh wells. I luv ur second one too. It's so cool. I hope you update it soon. I'll be waiting. And review again. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.

AnimeObsessionFantasy- lol you said it girl. I can't figure guys out and I'll never be able too. They're like a whole new species to me! Heheh. Thanks for reviewing again.

azn. viet- you think so? Thanks... - I think ur a new reviewer. If you are, I'd love to hear from you again. Thanks for the review. I really appreciate it.

AnimeLover- aawww... I thought everyone forgot about that fic!! Thank you so much for letting me know that you still haven't. It means a lot to me. I'll update it soon I think. Thanks to you. Gah, please review when I do.

sakura.cherryblossom.kinomoto- hey... thanks for your review. I continued! -

Suppie69- hey.. right now Krista's at Japan. Meaning that wiggles eyebrows S and S will have some alone time. But something horrible will happen to her pretty soon. Keep on reading and reviewing. I'd really like that. Thanks.

Crystalz Tearz- grins exactly what I had in mind about her death... lol... we think alike... thanks for reviewing. I'll be sure to make it painful.. um... civil. Lol. -

babysweet- sorry! I took so long! S and S will get together soon. They just have to overcome some obstacles (heheh) before they can. I hope to hear from you again and I hope that this chapter didn't take that long to come out. . well, review again. I would luv to hear from u again.

syaokura- well, he didn't exactly find out that Sakura was Jade, but you have to admit it. You did like it that they hugged, right? Heheh. I liked writing it. Neways, thanks for the review!

Thanks everyone! You guys made this chapter possible. I hope you like it.

I reached forwards and wrapped my arms around him.

"What?" I heard the gasp escape from his lips.

But I held on tight and I thought. 'I'm never letting you go. You're mine.'

Isn't he? Isn't he mine?

The tears fell from my eyes like droplets moving in slow motion and fell onto the ground with a splat.

No. No he wasn't

Not anymore.

I broke apart and released him.

He was looking at me so shocked, just like me.

I couldn't believe it. I did not just hug him did I?

Oh my gosh...

"I'm sorry..." I breathed, as I placed some distance between us. "You just all of a sudden... reminded me of my brother.

Liar! Liar! The voice inside my head screamed.

He nodded slowly. His mind was still working out what had just happened, but he grinned. "O-okay... it's fine." He said.

I smiled nervously back at him and stumbled backwards on the steps. I almost fell but I caught myself. "Um. I'm going to go. I changed my mind. You don't have to show me around," I said.

I gave him a weak smile before I ran down the steps.

I heaved a sigh of relief as more and more distance separated us.

Then a hand fell onto my shoulders and I froze.

I turned around to be faced with the same amber eyes.

"Are you sure we didn't meet before?" He whispered.

Oh. Why'd he have to follow?

I shook my head furiously. "Why, do I remind you of someone?" I made out.

He thought about something hard and then slowly turned to me. "No. Never mind." He said. He was about to turn away and leave when something made him stop.

"What happened to your brother?"

I looked sadly at him with dull eyes. "He went MIA. He joined the army and now he's gone."

He gasped. "I'm sorry."

I said nothing. I wasn't thinking anymore.

I wasn't thinking of Syaoran and Krista anymore.

I wasn't thinking about myself.

I was thinking about Touya.

"I-it's okay," I sighed, looking up at him and giving him a slow sad smile.

He smiled back at me. "You know I had a great time with you at lunch. If it's okay with you I would really love to show you around."

I nodded.

I didn't care anymore.

Spending time with Syaoran couldn't hurt, right?

Wasn't that my plan? To use Syaoran so I could get to Krista.

Right?

We went to everywhere in the city until it was almost 6. It wasn't late, but it was time to get back to Kali. I was already starting to miss my baby girl.

Surprisingly I had fun with Syaoran and he was sweet when he sent for a driver to send me back home.

But as nice and sweet as he is, I know where his heart truly lies.

Gosh, it hurts.

Syaoran

I got home tired after my day of freedom. Of course there was an angry message waiting for me at home by my mother.

I thought about Jade's daughter and wondered who the father was. In the beginning before I knew her, I wanted to use Kali, like maybe make the kid so attached to me, to make Jade agreed to marry me.

But now after having a real conversation with Jade and spending a few hours with her I began to feel guilty at what I was about to do.

In fact, I was starting to like her. Not the way I feel with Krista, but in a different way. She's so different. I feel as if she reminds me of someone, but then I know that there isn't.

The way she laughs amazes me. It's as if her laugh alone could make me forget myself.

As I finished taking a bath, I pulled my robe on and was thinking about settling on my bed to watch some T.V. I had the best day today.

Just as I got on my bed, I stumbled on something and almost fell.

I looked down and saw a silver box lying on the floor. I stooped down and examined it.

Crist. I almost forgot about this.

My eye caught onto an opened book on the floor and I picked it up.

This was my diary. The diary that s h e gave to me.

My fingers quivered as I stared at the open page.

(Sakura forgot to put everything away and left the diary open to this page- chapter 8)

The day she left

I should've known. I should've fucking known. I knew she was too good for me. After we had sex last night, I knew it was too good. I should've known the moment she showed up yesterday night at my doorstep, looking like she had cried. I shouldn't even have taken her in. I was her boyfriend for how long! I should've known that something was wrong. I feel so fuckin cheated. I thought that I could trust Sakura and now I find out that she has to go to Japan on the day before we both lost our virginities to each other. And oh.. shit... we didn't use protection.. fuck..if she gets pregnant...... ahhh..why the fuck should I care? She left me. She left me. God. This hurts. I could've gotten any girl I wanted and I chose Sakura... now I know how it feels like to have my heart broken into a million pieces. I guess she never felt any of it. I can't believe she lied to me after all this time. She said she loved me and now she left me and I thought that I would fucking die for her. Shit, someone's knocking on my door.

Krista just left............ she makes this pain feel better...... aaahhhh man. Did I just make out with her?? Why should I care? We've officially broken up, so I could kiss anyone I want. Shit I don't want to kiss Krista; I want to be with Sakura... maybe I could just pretend Krista's Sakura. God. I love her. I love her so much.

Ahh...fuck her.

I read the entry and felt my breath caught in my throat.

Sakura. Whoa.

I felt my tears falling so hard and so quick. I was surprised by my emotions.

Then all I felt was anger. I wanted to take that page and just crumble it.

She didn't deserve to have that effect on me.

She didn't deserve to have that control over me.

She didn't deserve my tears.

I was about to snatch that page and crumble it when my eyes caught onto something out of order.

I brushed my fingers against the thing on the page.

It looked as if something wet had fallen-tears.

I knew it wasn't mine.

Who else's could it be?

Jade's.

(Sorry, I had to change the date to Friday.)

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Tomoyo jumped up and down excitedly.

"I told you, it's no big deal. It's just a dinner date. You know his true motives." I said.

Tomoyo was apparently deaf. "What are you going to wear? Do you want to wear your hair up or down?"

"I don't know and I don't care," I sighed, defeated.

I'd had a good time with Syaoran earlier on, asides from me hugging him. I wanted to see him again, but thoughts of Krista and Syaoran kissing kept flashing in my mind.

"Ooh... this looks nice." Tomoyo was now digging through my wardrobe.

Kali wandered into the room and I gave her a worried look.

"Mommy, where are you going?" She asked.

"Uh.. just to dinner with a friend." I said, motioning for her to come over.

She plopped down on the bed next to me. I pulled her onto my lap and gave her a kiss.

God, I love Kali. She is my world.

"Oh. Is your friend a guy?"

For a little kid, she sure is smart.

"As a matter of fact, yes he is."

Kali smiled then. "Okay because he just called. He told me to remind you in case you forgot."

I gasped. I hadn't exactly told him that I had a daughter. Would he think that Kali would be a burden? And most importantly, would it ruin the plan?

"It'll be fine." Tomoyo said. She had noticed the look on my face.

"Come on, time to shock his pants off," she said.

Tomoyo launched into Makeover mode.

I was too lost in my thoughts to even be afraid.

Syaoran

I groaned as I heard a knock on my door.

"Phone Mr. Li," my maid said.

I looked at the time and it read 8:15. Shit, I must've fallen asleep.

I picked up the phone and became rewarded with my mom's pleasant voice. She called to remind her dear son of the dinner date.

Shit.

Of course I'd forgotten.

I'd thanked her and insisted that I hadn't forgotten.

Then I called Jade's house and was surprised when I heard a chirpy voice answer the phone.

I smiled and instantly knew that it was Kali.

I told her to remind her mommy of the date and she agreed to.

After we hung up, I sat on my bed wondering who her father was.

'The guy must be a bastard, if Jade is an only mother raising her.' I thought.

If only he knew.

The car pulled up at Sakura's house five minutes till 9 o' clock.

Kali was at her friend Jane's house and Sakura left the house feeling positive.

She picked up her dress and walked down the circular, curved steps of her house and down to where Syaoran's car stood.

His breath caught in his throat as he caught sight of her.

Sakura wore a red dress held up by only one thin line with appliqués that fell down the front showing cleavage. The dress was perfect with shirrs, hugging her every curve. It made her look like a goddess.

It wasn't a revealing dress, but it was classy and showed enough to make any guy fall head over heels in love.

She was beautiful.

With each closer step that she took to him, he nearly fainted. He could not believe that he was staring at such a beautiful creature.

"Hey," she said, as she stopped in front of him.

Her voice snapped him out of his daze and he swooped down and took her hands in his. He kissed her hand, surprising himself and Sakura. "You look beautiful." He said.

She blushed shyly. Tomoyo had really overdone herself this time. "You look good too." She said.

He just grinned as he held the door open for her. Thanking him, Sakura slid into the seat. Next to her, Syaoran got in on the other side.

Within a few seconds, the limo was off to their destination.

The ride took ten minutes. When they finally got to the restaurant the limo pulled up into a curvy driveway that led them to the front of the restaurant. As soon as the car stopped, the door opened instantly by one of the guys that stood by the sides. Sakura lightly stepped out of the car and onto the red carpet leading to the front door. Her breath caught in her throat as she and Syaoran made it inside.

The place was gorgeous and huge. It looked like an exquisite banquet that was held only by kings and queens in fairy tales. She felt like she was in a fairy tale.

"Ah, Mr. Li and Ms. Lee, we've been expecting you. As always, Lin will take you two to the grand room."

'There's another room that's better than this??' She could only think.

Then they were led down into another hallway and into a whole new different room.

That answered her question. This room was twice as breathtaking as the outside. Grand chandeliers dangled from the middle, lighting up the special private tables that were also lit with private candles. The place was very dim, with slow music playing and people either eating or slow dancing. She felt like a princess.

"Come this way," Lin said, seating them down on a table in the corner, far away from other tables. This place was like that. The tables were so far away from each so you could barely see the other people there. It gave each table there own privacy.

"Thank you," Syaoran said making Lin blush and nod before she hurried away.

He turned to Sakura and gave her a nice smile. "What do you think?" He asked.

"It's beautiful here," she told him honestly.

He gave her a genuine smile. "I'm glad you like it," he said, when a waiter came up to there table.

He was a large rounded man with black hair and a curly mustache. "Would you like to order now sir, mam?" He had a funny accent and Sakura smiled when the man friendly winked at her.

They both ordered what they wanted from there menus and in a few minutes the waiter went off. Meanwhile Sakura and Syaoran were having an easy conversation.

When the food came they hardly noticed. Sakura laughed at something ridiculous Syaoran said. When they calmed down and silence fell upon them Syaoran looked at her seriously. He was scrutinizing her face carefully as if he was trying to figure out something about her that he wasn't sure of.

"Um," Sakura breathed. She felt a shiver ride up her spine as his eyes bore into hers. His eyes were drilling into hers and she couldn't look away. They were deep, serious and... beautiful.

"This is really good." She looked away. Her fork moved the food around and she casually took a bite.

"So how's Kali?" He said slowly. 'Here it comes,' she thought. You never really actually told me you had a daughter?"

Sakura looked up at him. "Really? I- it must of slipped my mind." She smiled at him.

His face wasn't mean or anything, just curious. "Yea... it must've."

They ate for a few seconds in silence, until Syaoran stopped and looked up. "So, who's Kali's um.. dad. Did you guys get divorced?"

She felt herself choke from the food. Slowly she looked up at him and looked into his eyes. "No... we never got married. He doesn't know that he has a daughter."

Syaoran raised his brows and tilted his head, in a confused manner. "Why would you do that? He might have been a jerk, but doesn't he deserve to know his own child?"

Sakura shook her head lightly. "It's not like that. You don't understand." She whispered. She stopped, hoping he'd change the topic.

He didn't.

"Then help me." His words were straight forward, not intentionally mean, but they sounded harsh.

"Look," she looked up again at him. This time she stared dead straight into his eyes with a willingly force. "I loved him okay, but he hurt me. I wanted- I want to tell him, b-but," her voice cracked, "but it's not simple. I can't. I don't know how he would react. I would tell him right now, but he... even if I did, he doesn't love me..." Her voice died out in the end and she stared dejectedly down at the table cloth.

"Jade?" Syaoran's soft voice called. She almost thought it was a stranger, hearing the unfamiliar name, and then realized that it wasn't. Jade, that was her that was her name. His fingers reached across the table and tilted up her chin so she would look into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that he should know. That's all." He whispered, giving her a slow, sweet smile.

Sakura nodded and gave him a weak smile back. She bit her lips and looked at her food.

"It's you," she whispered.

"Excuse me," Syaoran said.

Sakura looked up at him with a sad face.

"It's you. You're the dad."

Author's Note: Hey... I kind of liked this chapter and I had fun doing this. What do you think? If you want me to write more, review. I would really like to hear from you if you're reading this. Comments, suggestions and criticism (no flames please) are welcome.

Also I updated Beyond the Unknown! =] i hope u read and review it. i need inspiration to continue wit that story. Please help...

And Thank you so much for the people who have continued to review and support me with this story. I love you guys!!

The same, one and only

Morninglori