A/N: Who's excited for next week's episode? Fairy tale killer? Yes please! But down to business: J stands for jealousy, and they can't quite figure out how they ended up here. (This is set early on in their partnership, and I'm transplanting Kevin's engagement here.) (r&r and keep up with that homework. Yours 'till the wheels fall off ;)
jeal·ous·y/ˈjeləsē/
Noun: The state or feeling of being jealous.
Jealousy. It wasn't an emotion that Esposito was familiar with, and he didn't enjoy experiencing it, either. He dropped his eyes to his paper work and tried to ignore his partner's voice. But he couldn't.
"...engaged, and she's already planning the wedding-" Javier threw his pen down on the ground and stormed out of the bullpen, knowing that he was making a scene. He sat himself down on the steps of the twelfth and glared at the passing taxi cabs. He wasn't angry at Ryan, he was just mad at himself for feeling this way.
"Hey," Kevin said softly, dropping himself down beside Esposito. They didn't speak for a few moments. Then:
"Did I say something wrong? Because I..." Ryan trailed awkwardly, clearly not knowing what to say. He wasn't quite sure how Javier handled things. They hadn't been partners long, and they didn't know how the other worked.
"No," Javier said shortly, blowing out an annoyed breath. He wasn't about to start spilling his guts out to the partner he hardly knew. It was stupid, really, his jealousy. He barely even knew the man, and already, he wanted what he had. Not the fiancee, not the wedding plans, not the good life..but the confidence. The way he carried himself, how nothing ever seemed to get him down. That was what he wanted. And no matter how much therapy he went through, how much he tried...he found confidence impossible. It just wasn't in him anymore.
"Are you sure?" Esposito turned and met his partner's eyes. Ryan had thrown him the rope; all that he had to do was take hold. He hesitated, considered opening up...and then shut down.
"I'm sure." Kevin hung around a moment longer before he shoved up, leaving Javier with his thoughts, whatever they might have been.