A week had passed since Hroki died. It was the day of her funeral; a time for mourning, remembering and celebrating her life. However, not everyone would be making it. Raerek lay in a pool of blood after a brutal attack and the manhunt for the killer was about to really heat up.
Kleppr sat on the stool in the Inn, completely in the darkness.
He was staring ahead, but not really looking.
Frabbi was worried. Kleppr had been distant ever since Hroki's death. He hadn't slept in their bed in days.
They rarely spoke, they never argued. The first time in over twenty years they hadn't argued.
Something was very wrong.
She still didn't know where he went that night. She was sure he was cheating on her.
At first.
Now she didn't know what to believe. She needed Kleppr back, the old Kleppr. Her Kleppr. She knew neither of them could get through this alone. It was hard enough together. She needed him now more than ever.
This was the worst day of her life.
Burying her only daughter, her precious daughter. Her worst nightmare didn't even compare.
She hadn't slept. She couldn't, even though she knew she had to.
Every time she slept she saw her.
After lying in the bed for an hour staring at the ceiling counting cracks she decided she had to speak with Kleppr.
She found him sitting alone in the darkness.
"Kleppr?" she called out, but he didn't answer.
"Kleppr?..." she called out again.
He didn't speak, he didn't move.
Frabbi sat down on the stool beside him.
"Kleppr, we need to get ready. It's time" she finally spoke after he failed to notice her.
He didn't speak, he didn't move.
"Kleppr! Kleppr! Gods snap out of it!" she cried shaking him to break him from his trance.
Nothing was working.
"It's our daughter's funeral and you won't even speak! You won't move...I can't keep doing this...Do you hear me? I can't!" she screamed into his face, holding his face in her hands.
Nothing.
She slapped him hard.
"Wake up!" she slapped him again "Wake up! She slapped him thrice "Gods dammit Wake up!" she went to slap him again but Hreinn grabbed her hand to stop her.
"Mum what are you doing? Are you crazy?!" he said holding her back from hitting him again.
"I'm not the one who's going crazy!" she shouted breaking from Hreinn's grasp.
Frabbi broke down into tears and ran to sit by the unlit fire, cradling herself in the chair.
Hreinn looked around. His father was emotionless, dead, and his mother was slowly crumbling into nothingness.
"Look AT us! Look at us!" he yelled, back and forth at his parents.
Frabbi continued sobbing, and Kleppr didn't do anything.
Hreinn worried whether his family would ever be the same again.
"Adara! Adara are you getting ready?" Endon shouted outside his eleven year old daughter's room.
"I don't want to. Do I have to go?" she finally answered in a whiny tone.
"Yes! You do, now get ready" he answered back.
"Kerah?" he found his wife sitting down, a bottle of wine in her hands.
"You're starting early today" Endon said fixing his shirt.
"Don't you dare lecture me!" she spat back. "We both know you have no morals..." she poured the last of the wine into a glass.
"How long is this going to last? How many times do I have to apologise to you?!"
"I don't know why you bother..." she sipped at the glass "Go see a priest. You won't be getting any forgiveness from me."
"Then why am I even here! What is the point of our marriage?!"
"The door is there, feel free to use it" she grabbed another bottle of wine and went back to their room.
Endon sat down in a chair and looked around the room. Empty wine bottles were scattered everywhere. His wife was an alcoholic and he was consumed with guilt. It seemed anytime they tried to talk to each other it erupted into yet another blazing argument.
"Papa, why are you and mama arguing again?" Adara entered the room.
"Adara...honey it's just grown up problems. Nothing for you to worry about" he reassured her.
"Are you arguing about Kay? Has something happened?" Adara asked innocently.
"No, no you're brothers fine. Off fighting with the Stormcloaks. Mama's just upset because...because she can't go to the funeral" Endon lied.
"Why would she want to? She didn't even like her"
"Shh you can't say that. You can't go around saying that, ok? Mama was just a little angry with her before but she's not now. No, now she's angry with me..." Endon confided.
"Because Hroki's dead? Like Tumble?" she asked.
"No she was already angry with me...she just needs some time to...to forgive me" Endon explained.
"Because of you and Hroki?" Adara theorized.
Endon was in shock. He had no idea his daughter knew about him and Hroki. He pondered what else she knew.
"Adara honey how...how did you know...?"
"I saw you" she mumbled.
"Where?..." Endon inquired
"Here, on the table. The day she died" Adara admitted, smiling innocently.
"What did you see?..." Endon worried
"I...I don't know. She was...making noises and you were...playing with her" Adara's eyes moved around. She was too young to comprehend this, Endon knew that. It was hard enough explain death to her after Tumble, their dog, had died.
"Gods" Endon thought. He felt like the worst parent in the world.
"That's right Adara...that's a grown-up type of playing. Only for adults...honey what else did you see?" Endon stroked her head.
"Well, then I saw Kay walk in" Adara shuffled, looking scared.
"I remember. Cade was back from fighting in the war"
"He was really mad with you. He really liked Hroki and didn't want you playing with her" Adara bit her lip.
"I know, I know he did..." Endon avoided eye contact. Nothing could make him feel worse right now.
"Then mama came home..."
"Forget about that now sweetie, it's in the past alright? Cade's gone back fighting and Mama's...she'll be ok too"
"Why is Mama so upset with me? Does she hate me?" Adara asked quietly.
"No of course not! She's not upset with you honey. Just me. She loves you so much. She always will"
"Why doesn't she look at me any more?"
"Because...because she worries, about us, about our family. She's afraid of you growing up and what will happen to you. She's scared you'll see me and think its ok, but its not. I should have never touched Hroki. It was a mistake, and I'm paying for that now. I'll regret that forever."
"Does mama not love you?"
The words hit Endon hard and he didn't know how to answer her. Everything had changed since that day and it only seemed to get worse and worse. The fact his wife may no longer love him was difficult to come to terms with.
"I...I don't know but...I hope she does. I really do" Endon confided in his young daughter.
"Now give me a hug!" he smiled and they embraced.
"Do I still have to go?" she said in the cute voice she always used to win Endon over.
"Fine you can stay here. Just don't get into trouble ok?"
"Ok Papa" she cooed and went running back to her room to play.
Endon felt like crap. His wife was slowly drinking herself to death because of him, his son hated him and his daughter was confused and too young to understand. Nothing could make this day worse for him, or so he thought.
"Are you ready?" Frabbi asked her son who was busy getting the tavern ready.
"Yeah. What about dad?"
"I can't do anything else. He won't snap out of it. There's nothing I can do"
"I know but...he has to come, for Hroki"
"There is nothing I can do Hreinn. Its up to him now"
Hreinn nodded and waited for his mother at the door. Kleppr sat by the fire.
"I don't know what is going on with you - grief, regret, whatever. It doesn't matter, today is you're daughter's funeral so whatever is going on in that head...you need to leave it and come. If not for me, then for her" Frabbi looked into her husbands eyes and found them empty. He was broken and she wasn't sure if he would ever be right again.
"Mum...we need to go" Hreinn stood at the door to the Inn. He could see the tears in her eyes but she wiped them away.
Frabbi looked over her shoulder hoping Kleppr would spring back to life and come with her. She should have known better.
Raerek was lying in a pool of blood, underneath the bridge. Like a dying fish he lay half in and half out of the water.
Muiri was heading towards the Silver-Inn to give her condolences to the family when she saw it. A leg sticking out of the water.
At first she wasn't entirely sure what it was, but then she looked closer.
"Gods..." she gasped racing over to the body to discover it was Raerek. He was bloodied, wounded and cold.
She checked for a pulse, and got a shock.
"He's still alive" she said open mouthed.
"Guards! Guards Help! It's Raerek, he's been attacked!"
The guards ran over to the steward.
"It's Raerek..." Roggar exclaimed, looking over the twisted body of the man.
"Alert the Jarl! Go! Now!" he shouted at another guard, who looked like he was about to throw up.
"He's lost a lot of blood...I don't know how to..." Roggar said trying to stop the bleeding but it poured from his open wounds.
"Stand back! I'll use the healing hands spell on him!" Muiri cautioned, pushing Roggar aside.
"Magic! Are you mad!?" Roggar tried to stop her.
"We have no other option! Now stand back..." Muiri pushed the man aside and used the spell on Raerek and continued until the bleeding had stopped.
Raerek opened his eyes.
"Raerek! Raerek who did this, who attacked you?" Roggar pleaded with the man for answers. He tried to open his mouth, but nothing came out.
"Raerek! Raerek! Don't do this, stay with me! Raerek!" It was too late.
"He's...he's gone. He lost too much blood. I'm...I'm sorry" Muiri held Raerek's hand.
"It's not your fault." Raerek said after a moment "But I'm gonna find the person who did this. I swear Raerek, do you hear me? I swear"
Roggar closed Raerek eyes.
Hreinn and Frabbi stood in the Hall of the Dead. Verulus appeared.
"Are you ready?" he asked them.
"I don't know if I can do this! Hreinn I don't think I can..." Frabbi held her eldest child's hand and he hugged her close.
"You have to. I'm here. Everything will be fine" he comforted her and she nodded, the tears running down her cheeks.
"We're ready" she replied.
Verulus lead them to a hall and at the end of the hall they could see her.
Frabbi wanted to stop. She couldn't go any further but Hreinn helped her move.
Hreinn's eyes grew heavy with tears and he wanted to stop so much but he couldn't. He had to be the strong one.
Hroki lay on a table. Flowers decorated the table and she was dressed in a flowing white dress, her long blonde hair swept underneath her.
She looked like a child.
As they got to the edge of the room, Hreinn stopped and stood at the doorway. Frabbi kept walking.
She walked over to her daughter and looked at her.
Hroki's face was ghostly pale, like the life had been sucked right from her.
A small smile crept across Hroki's face, she looked happy.
Frabbi hadn't seen that smile in a long time.
"Oh...darling" she put her hand through Hroki's hair. "Why? Why did you have to go?" Frabbi knew she wouldn't be getting an answer.
"I don't know what I'm going to do without you...Its funny y'know. I miss your arguments. I miss us shouting at each other because you came back late, again... I miss telling you off because you didn't listen to me, because of your love life. Because...because I wanted you to be better. Better than me. Better than your father. I didn't want you making the same mistakes we did, getting pregnant and...and married and stuck in the same boring small life. You were so stubborn. Never listened to anyone, especially me. I wanted...I wanted you to listen to me darling. I wanted you to go on and make something of yourself...but you can't now can you. No...now your going to be stuck here forever and that hurts me so much." Frabbi held her child's cold hand.
"I can't help but feel guilty...I shouted at you, warning you not to get pregnant or married and...now you never will. You'll never have a child...you'll never experience love...and you'll never have the happiness you wanted. The happiness I wanted for you. I loved you so much darling. So much" Frabbi let go of her hand and turned her back. She couldn't look at her any longer, it was too much.
She wasn't there any more. Her light had gone out.
Hreinn stepped towards his baby sister.
"Hrok its me...Its your brother I..." Hreinn tried his hardest but he couldn't get the words out. Frabbi walked over and held her son's hand.
"You can do it son. I'm here"
Hreinn composed himself. "Hrok I...do you remember when we were young and you were always saying you wanted to be a bard? You were always singing. Terribly never mind but you were so happy in your own little world. Then you wanted to be the queen of Skyrim; I said I would be the king and we rule over Skyrim together. We used to pretend, running around Markarth...then things changed. Everything changed." Hreinn felt a lump in his throat.
"Son?..." Frabbi held his arm.
"I'm fine" he insisted.
"I always said I'd protect you. My baby sister. Look how that turned out. You're dead, mum and dad are driving each other crazy and I'm...I don't know. I just can't imagine being alive without you Hrok...not that I have a choice. Gods why did you have to be so difficult! If you just listened for once maybe you wouldn't be getting burnt to ashes and stuffed in an urn!" Hreinn pulled himself away and bit his tongue to avoid saying something he's regret.
"Hreinn..." Frabbi said in disbelief. She had no idea he was building up so much anger inside.
Kleppr sat down on the stool in the tavern. He was lost in his own world.
He wasn't grie
He just wanted to lock himself away until this nightmare was over
Emilie noticed the door to the Inn ajar. She thought it was strange why the family would leave their own Tavern door open, considering they are at the funeral.
"Hello?" she knocked on the door.
"Is anyone there?..." the door opened slowly and she stepped inside the darkness
She noticed Kleppr sitting on the stool. He looked distant, troubled.
"Kleppr? Kleppr are you alright?" she sat on the stool adjacent to him.
"Kleppr why aren't you at the funeral?"
He didn't speak, he didn't move.
"Kleppr..." she put a hand on his arm.
"Do you want to tell me something?..." she moved closer
"Maybe something about Hroki?..."
Kleppr turned suddenly to look at her. They were merely inches from each others face.
"I'm here if you need to talk...clear your conscience?..."
"I...needed to do something" he finally uttered looking confused.
"What was it?..." Emilie answered feeling even more confused.
"I needed to speak to Hroki" he said, looking around him.
"Your...daughter?" she paused "Kleppr I know this sounds stupid given the circumstances but...are you okay?"
"I'm fine its just..." Kleppr could feel the tears staring to come and forced himself to not cry.
"It's ok...to cry. To mourn. It doesn't make you any less of a man. If you don't mourn...you'll never come to terms with Hroki's death and it will destroy you, trust me"
"I..I don't know. I don't think I can..."
Emilie couldn't help but feel so much sadness for the man. His life had been turned upside down, and she knew that that felt like.
Emilie held his arm.
"Kleppr...do you want me to take you to Hroki?"
"She's gone...what's the point" he spoke with a blank and bleak expression.
Emilie held his arm tight. "I'm here, whenever you need to talk or...whatever you need, I'm here" she tried to fight her emotions but seeing someone so broken would get to anyone.
"Thank you" he smiled weakly.
"What did you want to tell her? Hroki?..."
Kleppr stayed silent for a moment. "I wanted to tell her I love her. I wanted her to know because...I never tell her, never. I'm not an emotional person but...sometimes I thought she hated me...maybe she thought I hated her. She had no idea how much I love...loved her. Nothing she could ever do could stop me from loving her. Nothing. I remember those big blue eyes...and that smile when she was born. Gods she was so happy, so full of joy. Now I would look at that same beautiful face and all I saw was...pain."
Kleppr's face distorted. He looked almost angry.
"She blamed me. Blamed me for everything. As if every mistake was my fault. Was stealing from Kerah's stall my fault? Her constant fights with everyone in the hold? Was she miserable because of me? She kept going out to gods know where and coming home in the middle of the night...was-was that because of me?"
Emilie didn't know what to say. She could hardly say it doesn't matter, his daughter's dead but...she couldn't leave him like this.
"Blaming yourself will only bring more pain...Hroki wouldn't want that"
"How would you know? You didn't know her so how would you know what she would want?" Kleppr snapped, and Emilie looked away.
"Look I'm sorry...I just. People keep coming up to the Inn and telling me what Hroki would want or...what she would do. They didn't know her. I don't think anyone really knew her..."
"Do you want me to bring you to her...to Hroki? To say goodbye?"
"Yes but...not yet. I'm not ready yet..."
"Ok I'll come back when your ready..." Emilie got up to leave but Kleppr grabbed hold of her arm.
"Wait! Just...can you stay here with me? Just for a while?..." he pleaded, his eyes shallow and darkened.
"If that's what you want" Emilie smiled awkwardly.
The two sat in silence.
Emilie finally spoke.
"I had a son" she said softly, almost barely audible.
"Had?"
"He...he died. He'd be eight years old today"
"Gods I'm so sorry" Kleppr held her hand.
"He...was almost a year old. His name was Oda. I didn't even want him when I was pregnant...but when he was born I...I fell in love. He was a secret, my secret. I was very young when I became pregnant...I couldn't tell my father. He was an important man in Cyrodiil. Having a seventeen year old daughter give birth would be a disaster to him. A scandal. So I kept it a secret. Hid my baby in a part of the house that was never used. I stayed his good little girl on the outside, but I was a woman. More of a woman than he knew. He found out about the baby, I always knew he would but...I never thought..." Emilie's gaze sharpened.
"Go on" Kleppr squeezed her hand affectionately.
"He set the house on fire. That part of the house. I came home to find it up in flames. I ran inside, tried to save my baby but I wasn't strong enough...I wasn't fast enough. It was too late, the smoke had...I carried him out in my arms, the way I always held him. He was so small, born a month early. I just collapsed, wouldn't let go of him. Couldn't let go of him. He was my life"
A single tear ran down Emilie's cheek and Kleppr wiped it away.
"After that I was consumed by rage...I was so angry with him. I wanted him to feel my suffering. He acted like he had helped me. He was so twisted. I knew I couldn't kill him, not that it would be enough, but...I could still destroy him politically. That was worse for him than death. And I did. Gods I really did. He lost all power when I anonymously revealed his ties to the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood. That on top of other controversies was enough to bring him right down to where scum like him belonged"
"Did it make you feel any better?"
"No...it didn't. It made me feel...empty. Before Oda's death he was my life. After Oda's death all I wanted was revenge. After I got that...I had nothing. Nothing to live for, nobody to wake up to. Just...memories"
"You'll find someone and you'll have another child. Your still young and intelligent and...beautiful. Your an amazing person, I could tell that when I first saw you"
Emilie smiled and their eyes made contact.
That's when it happened.
He kissed her.
And to both of their surprises, none of them pulled away.
Eventually Emilie did pull away.
"I can't...this isn't right..." she whispered.
"No one has to know. Just two people...comforting each other. That's all"
They both stared deeply into each others eyes.
Kleppr moved closer and held Emilie's chin up with his fingers.
Without a word they both kissed each other.
And for a moment, their pain was just a distant memory.