Dangerous Desires

(Chapter Ten: A Crash with Reality)

Crash: To collide violently with an obstacle.

Olivia gripped her pillow and moaned out in ecstasy feeling Elliot thrust harder from behind her. He tangled his fingers in her dark hair and held it in his fist and he playfully bit the back of her neck. Elliot grinned in satisfaction as her moans began to mimic more of a high pitched whimper and she buried her face to muffle the sounds.

"Don't you dare hide from me," he laughed pushing the feathered barrier away from her face so he could bask in the reward of the sounds he coaxed from her.

Olivia laughed as he nibbled at her earlobe and whispered sweet declarations of his affections in her ear. Closing her eyes to focus all of her attention on his movements, she couldn't help but smile uncontrollable. Normally, any sense of lost control would send her into a panic. But her trust in him allowed her to surrender completely to his every wish and not knowing his next move, was half of what made their sessions together so exciting.

When he had woke her with kisses fifteen minutes earlier, Olivia knew morning sex was a given. And after the events in the sex club the night before, she knew his mind was running wild. Yet, somehow, she still wasn't suspecting much more than their usual morning missionary romp to tangle them in the one thousand thread count luxury hotel sheets. So when Elliot quickly dominated her, flipping her over and pinning her to the bed as he rushed her from behind, the element of surprise and the excitement of allowing him to overpower her had her trembling beneath him in a matter of seconds.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh as he growled playfully against her ear. But their fun was brought halt as her cell phone began to ring on the night stand beside the bed.

"You're not," Elliot said as she raised up under him.

"That's Keith's ring tone."

Elliot just stared down at her in disbelief.

"I should answer it," she insisted.

He shook his head.

"El…"

"We're a little busy right now. Can't you call him back in an hour or so?"

"I should have answered that. It could have been important," she said as the phone quit ringing.

"This is important."

"Elliot? What if something is wrong with one of my kids?"

Elliot sat quiet for a moment suddenly feeling like a huge asshole for keeping her from picking up the phone.

"I should have answered," he said with a mischievous smile in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Olivia smiled and laughed a little.

"And exactly what would you have said?"

"I would have politely asked him to call back in about an hour…."

"Oh yea?"

"Yea. Cause I was busy fucking his wife."

His humor was both crude and a little inappropriate, but Olivia couldn't help but smile.

"I guess if it was that important he would have called back by now," she said with a wink. "Where were we?" she whispered kissing him gently before falling to the bed on her back and reaching for him once more.

In seconds Elliot had her right back on the edge.

"El," she gasped, digging her fingernails into the flesh of his back as he thrust inside of her. "Umm," she purred, "right there, baby. Right there."

Olivia closed her eyes as Elliot tangled his tongue with hers. He softly caressed the side of her face with his hand and brushed his nose against hers as he kissed her passionately. Liv had just began to reach her climax as the hotel room phone began to ring.

"Damn it," she gasped turning her head to focus her eyes on the intrusive object.

Elliot paused gasping to catch his breath as she looked up at him.

"No, don't stop," she panted. "We are so close."

"He is just gonna keep calling until you pick up."

Olivia closed her eyes and ran her tongue over her lips.

"You're right."

"And your mind isn't fully going to be here with me until you know the kids are okay."

Her dark eyes widened as she stared at him and her bottom lip quivered.

"Go ahead," he whispered kissing her tenderly. "I'll wait."

Elliot moved to pull out of her.

"No," she gasped with a smile. "We are going to finish this. Stay with me," she said with a smile. "I'll only be a second, I swear."

Elliot smiled as she picked up the receiver. Somehow the thought of her talking to Keith while he was inside of her seemed so hot.

"Keith? No, I'm here," Olivia said softly as Elliot kissed the side of her neck and waited patiently.

"Liv, I know it is early," Elliot could hear him say.

"I was in the shower," she lied. "I heard the phone ringing and just stepped out to answer it."

"I just needed to call you….."

"Is it the kids? Are they okay?" Olivia asked in a panic.

"They are fine."

"Thank God. Keith, can I call you back in just a little bit."

"Liv, we really need to talk. Preferably, before the kids wake up."

"I am standing here dripping water all over the place. I still have shampoo in my hair."

"And I have my dick in your wife," Elliot breathed against her free ear.

Olivia shifted the phone and smiled as she pressed her hand against his mouth.

"Honey, this is important."

"So is this," Elliot whispered as he raised up and moved inside of her, sending a chill up her spine and making every hair on her body stand on end.

Olivia bit her lip and whimpered, holding back the moan that wanted so badly to escape.

"Okay, okay," she gasped. "I will call you right back. In just a little while. It's important," she gasped as she hung up the phone.

"I'm gonna get you for that," she snarled lunging forward and flipping them over.

Olivia raised Elliot's hands over his head and held them against the bed as she moved on top of him. Within a few moments he broke his hands free of hers and raised up to a sitting position in the bed. Elliot pulled her onto his lap and used his hands to guide her hips on top of him.

He sucked and kissed on every inch of her perfect body, paying special attention to the places he knew drove her crazy. Olivia tipped her head back as Elliot kissed his way up her neck. He cupped one hand on the side of her face, staring into her eyes as his lips met hers.

Elliot watched closely as she bit her bottom lip and her eyes began to flutter. They were so close now. He raised up just a little more under her and began to move harder as her gasps and moans became much louder. Tightening one arm around her body, Elliot held tight to Olivia as her body shuttered through an orgasm.

They fell together back against the bed, trying hard to catch their breath.

"I wasn't so sure that was going to happen," he laughed.

"But it did and it was amazing," she added. "I'm sorry we kept getting interrupted," she said softly settling against his chest as she kissed him tenderly.

"I love you," Elliot said staring into her pretty brown eyes as he held her tight.

"I love you, too," she replied with a smile.

"I mean it, Liv. I really love you. More than I have ever loved any woman in my life….I love you. I don't just say it because you have sex with me."

"I know that," she whispered.

He watched as she smoothed her hands over her face and exhaled.

"Elliot, these last few days….and nights….here with you, they have been incredible. And I know without a doubt that I am in love with you. My love for you is real. I don't ever want you to doubt that."

"I don't," he replied kissing the side of her head.

"And I know that things can't stay this way forever, it isn't fair to you or to Keith or the kids."

"It isn't fair to us," he said softly as he twisted her hair in his fingertips.

"I have a lot of really tough decisions that I am going to have to make," she whispered with tears in her eyes. "And no matter what I choose, I am about to greatly hurt people that I love and care about."

"Hey," he whispered wiping a tear from her cheek and kissing her tenderly. "This isn't something you can just decide overnight. I get that. These are your children, your family, and choosing me would…."

"Tear my family apart," she said softly completing his sentence. "But my heart is with you," she whispered as she began to cry once more. "Not Keith. I love you. And by staying with him….I am hurting us both."

"Baby, no one is forcing you to decide right now. Things between us are still kind of new, still developing. Why don't we just wait it out for a while, until we figure out exactly what this is?"

Elliot knew without a doubt that what he felt for her was the real deal and he was pretty sure that she felt the same way. But part of him still feared that if she had to make a choice right now, that choice wouldn't be him. He didn't doubt her love for him, but if staying with Keith and living in misery would protect her young children from the pain of a divorce and losing their family….Elliot knew she wouldn't think twice about sacrificing her own happiness for that of her children. And he just wasn't ready to let her go yet.

"I don't want to face it, El. I don't ever want to face it. This will no doubt be the hardest choice I will ever make, but not making a choice at all isn't going to make things any easier to live with. Don't you worry?"

"I'm not afraid of Keith."

"I don't mean about being afraid of him. I mean…. I guess that is what I mean. I worry about it."

Elliot rolled over to stare at her.

"I worry that he will catch on….that he will figure it out and realize that something is going on between us. I'm afraid of what he will do if he does."

"I'll kill him if he hurts you," Elliot snarled defensively.

"He would never raise a hand or harm me. But I can't say that he wouldn't be angry enough to file for divorce and fight me for the kids. I have seen some really awful custody battles, Elliot and I do not want to put my children through that."

Elliot wiped her tears away with his palm and kissed her forehead.

"If I choose….if I decide….I know people will still get hurt. But maybe it won't be as bad. Maybe I can think of a way to….I don't know….work it out."

"Work it out? Liv, I doubt your husband is ever going to be alright with you sleeping with me. And I know I am not alright with you sleeping with him. I know I have no right to feel that way, but I do. I don't want my girlfriend sleeping with anyone else, guy or girl. Even this thing with Cori last night, I understand and appreciate what you were trying to do for me. Hell, I am lucky, most guys would kill for the chance to have a threesome with their smoking hot girlfriend and her super-hot friend. And I am not going to sit here and pretend I didn't enjoy it, baby, because I did….every second. But I also realized something very important last night."

"What's that?" Olivia asked softly tipping her head to stare at him.

"I'm jealous. I am extremely jealous. Of Cori, of Keith, of any other man or woman who takes a moment to notice or appreciate how incredibly gorgeous you are….I'm jealous. I never thought I would be THAT guy, but I am. Hell, I damn near ripped Jesse's head off the first time I met him, because he smiled in your direction."

Olivia smiled.

"I am jealous and I am selfish and I don't like to share….not when it comes to you. I want to be beside you every night and every day, Olivia. My heart beats your name. I know that this is the best that you can do right now and I am trying really hard to accept that. But I can't think about him kissing you or touching you or…..or anyone else for that matter….it's just too much for me bear."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"No. Baby, no. I just….I'm just trying to be honest with you because I don't ever want us to feel that we have to hide things from each other."

Elliot exhaled, then continued.

"I know that you are married to Keith. And I know that there are going to be times when he will kiss you or….want to have sex with his wife….and I know that I just said we should be honest with each other, but Liv….I don't think that I can handle knowing when these things happen. I understand that I am not allowed to feel that way, but I do. And I want you to know that I am not going to be angry at you if these things happen, he is your husband….I don't like it, but I understand. I just think that it would be better if maybe I just didn't know when things happen between the two of you."

"I don't want to sleep with him, Elliot."

"I know. But I know it happened before and realistically it could happen again. He may not be able to do it often, Liv, but the man isn't going to pass it up if he gets the chance. What I am trying to say is that if it does happen again, I don't want you to feel guilty about it. I don't want you to feel like you are hurting me or cheating on me. Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to happen again, but if it does….I don't want you to feel bad about it. You already have all of this other stuff eating at you. But Liv, I don't want you to tell me about it either. I think it is just better, for me and for us, if those kind of details are left unknown."

"Okay."

"And for now, let's just be us. Together, whenever we get the chance. Good together, loving each other."

Olivia smiled.

"I'm good with that," she agreed.

"Yea?"

"Yea," she replied as he kissed her again.

Olivia snuggled into him as he held her for a little while.

"I should call him back," she whispered.

"Why don't I go down stairs and get us some breakfast?"

"Elliot, they have room service."

"I know. But I could take a little walk, grab a paper and find a Starbucks….give you a little privacy," he said kissing her forehead.

"Half an hour, tops. I can tackle whatever it is he wants to talk about and maybe talk to my babies for a few minutes."

"He said it was important….are you sure he doesn't suspect anything?"

"No, I'm sure it is fine," she laughed. "A few months ago Keith had me pulled out of a board meeting for an important call. Turned out Zoey spilled grape juice all over my white down bedspread and Keith attempted to wash it in the washing machine."

"Oh, bad idea."

"Yea. It fell apart in the machine and there were soggy feathers all over the laundry room. That was the day he learned the importance of the term 'Dry Clean Only.' I'm sure it's nothing."

"Alright," he said stealing another kiss as he buttoned his jeans.

"Tell you what, you go get coffee and a paper and when you get back we can take a nice hot shower and go downstairs for breakfast together."

"A shower? Together?"

"Well, unless you don't want to?"

"Of course I want to."

Olivia laughed.

"Okay, I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

"Sharp!"

"Sharp," she laughed as he walked out the door.

Elliot walked around for what seemed like forever, then headed back to the hotel. He opened the door to their room find Olivia's half packed suitcase sitting open on the bed.

"Liv?" he called out as she came out of the bathroom tossing her make up bag into the suitcase.

Elliot studied her face as she shifted her eyes to meet his and he could see she had been crying.

"I have to get back to New York….tonight," she said clearing her throat.

"He knows? Keith figured it out. You know what, we will go back and we will talk to him….together. We didn't plan to fall in love with each other, Olivia, it just happened. You didn't do this to hurt anyone. Surely he can understand that."

"My mother is dead," she whispered as she began to cry once more. "That is why he called. That was the important thing he needed to talk to me about. Keith doesn't know anything about us."

"Baby, I am so sorry," Elliot replied cupping her face in his hands and pressing his forehead to hers. "I'll get ahold of the airline and get them to exchange out return tickets. We'll be on the first plane back to New York."

"I already did," she said raising her sad eyes to meet his once more. "But I only got one ticket."

"Okay," he said more than a little confused.

"My flight leaves at ten o'clock tonight. The red eye is the only thing they had available."

"I should go back with you."

"You can't. Keith is picking me up from the airport when the plane lands."

"I understand. I just feel like you shouldn't be alone, I should be there with you."

"Luckily I have already finished my part of the interviews for this case, so I am not really needed here anymore. The judge is going to pick things back up back in Manhattan in a couple of days. If I fly back tonight, hopefully that will give me just long enough to….take care of things," she thought out loud.

"And absolutely no time for yourself. For you to process all of this, to mourn your mother, to be with your family, to begin to heal. Olivia, you can't do this to yourself."

"Elliot, I don't have time to mourn right now. I have way too much to do. It will just have to wait."

Elliot drew a deep breath and exhaled.

"Stay," she said softly. "Go out and enjoy the warm weather, or just relax around here. Everything is paid for, room service, the bar, anything you want or need….just have them charge it to the room."

"We still have until ten o'clock, right? What do you say I help you pack? Then we can order breakfast in bed and just spend the day laying around in bed just being together?"

"I'd like that," she whispered fighting back tears as he kissed her tenderly.