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Chapter 10

Mama who bore me

Mama who bore me

Mama who gave me

no way to handle things

who made me so sad

mama the weeping

mama the angels

no sleep in heaven or bethlehem

Haley slid the last box into the van as another car pulled up. Jax reached behind him, his hand going for his gun. Haley touched his arm and shook her head at him. She went down to the car, hugging the man that got out.

"How have you been darling?"

"I've been better."

"I heard about what happened, I'm sorry they chose to handle it that way."

"Yeah well, what can you do with the outift," Haley replied with a shrug.

"Who's this," Jax asked as he joined them.

"Jax, this is our lawyer, Branden, this is Jax."

"Good to meet you Jax," Branden said politely.

"You too," Jax said as he shook the hand offered.

"I brought by the paper work, Joseph wanted to make sure everything was signed before you left. When are you leaving?"

"We leave in the morning. Why don't you come in? We can do this in there," Haley suggested. She led the way inside and they sat down in the living room. Jax joined Chibs and Bobby in the kitchen to give them some privacy.

"So what do you think about this Jax," Bobby asked.

"I don't know man, I mean we aren't exactly guns for hire."

"You're going ta be the VP one day Jackie boy, you've got ta start thinking about things like this," Chibs pointed out.

"I know, I don't have a problem with this one, we all know what he did to her. He's not going to stop until he gets what he wants. He had a hand in killing her mom, I say we do it. I don't want to set this kind of precedent though. We don't kill for money."

"True, but this asshole deserves it," Bobby replied.

"That's the truth," Chibs replied.

Haley appeared in the doorway, and smiled at them. "Branden has something for you guys."

Jax nodded before following her back into the living room. He sat down next to her on the sofa, draping his arm around her shoulders. Chibs and Bobby stood behind them, their arms crossed in suspicion.

Branden pulled an envelope out of his briefcase and passed it to Jax. "This is part of the payment, you'll recieve the rest when the job is done. We are aware that you need to vote on this, consider this payment for protecting Haley thus far."

Jax opened the envelope and counted the money. He handed it to Bobby, who let out a low whistle. Jax ran his hand down his face before nodding. "We'll accept the payment, not for them, but for her."

"Jax," Haley said softly as she turned to look at him. He shook his head at her as he shook Branden's hand.

"We appreciate it," Jax said quickly. "We'll let you two finish up."

Haley silently nodded before shifting to let him pass her. She watched him walk into the kitchen before returning her attention to Branden. "What else do I need to do?"

"Haley, there is one more thing that your mother wanted you to have," Branden said as he placed a box on the coffee table.

Haley reached out and opened the box. She pressed her hand to her mouth, and shook her head at him. "No, I don't... I don't want it."

"Haley, she wanted you to have this, to keep yourself safe. I know she taught you how to," Branden started to say but she cut him off.

"No, she's been lying to me! She made all these plans and taught me all this shit, and why? Why? So I could... so I could get beaten and raped by my step-father. So I could go half way across the country to people I hadn't seen in ten years, just to get thrown back into this shit. She worked for the mafia! She put me in danger! She got herself killed and... now she's giving me a gun from beyond the grave?! Do you have any idea how fucked up all of this is," Haley shouted.

Branden rose from his seat and put a hand on her shoulder. Haley pushed him away as she stood up. She shook her head at him before darting up the stairs to her room. Once the door slammed, Jax came out of the kitchen.

"I think you should go," Jax said before starting up the stairs after her. He didn't wait to see if the lawyer listened. He didn't really care. All he knew, was that Haley needed someone right now, and he was kind of all she had. Jax knocked on the door before pushing it open.

Haley was sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed, her head buried in her hands. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed. Jax shut the door behind himself before sitting down next to her. He didn't know what else to do, so he rubbed circles on her back. It had always worked when she was a kid.

"I feel like I never knew her at all, she left me a gun Jax! A fucking gun! She knew I would have to use it! She knew what kind of danger she was putting me in and yet she did it anyway! I mean who does that? Who does that to their child? She took me from Charming to get me away from that life and now... now I find out she was involved in something that is so much worse. It got her killed!"

"I know baby girl, I know."

"I don't understand Jax," Haley sobbed. "How could she do this to me?"

Jax wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He didn't know what to do, or what to say. He fumbled for words, but he had a feeling it didn't matter what he said, none of it was going to make this better for her. Nothing could make this right.

"I'm sorry, I just... I need to be alone right now, I can't... I don't... please," Haley spluttered through her tears.

"Yeah, ok baby girl, whatever you want," Jax replied. He slowly rose to his feet and made his way to the door. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

Haley nodded as he left the room. She waited until the door was closed before she laid on the floor and burst into the sobs. She laid there for awhile, until she could control her tears. She pushed herself off the floor and slowly made her way down the hallway. She pushed the door open and stepped inside. She closed it behind herself and moved a few steps into the room.

Haley sighed as she glanced around, it still smelled like her mother. She ran a hand through her hair as she went into the closet. When she was little, she would sit on the floor of her mother's closet and pretend she was somewhere else. Haley sat on the floor and slib back against the wall. She drew her knees into her chest, resting her chin on a knee.

"I wish you had told me, I wish I had known. I feel like I didn't know you at all," Haley whispered. "You spent all that time teaching me how to use a gun and protect myself. When it came right down to it, I couldn't even do it. I couldn't protect myself."

She sighed as she reached up and pulled down a sweater. She slid it on before leaning back against the wall. "You lied to me, you kept things from me. You never told me why we were going back to Charming. You kept me from Dad, Opie, and Jax. You took that from me. And I don't even understand why you did it. I just wish I knew why."