It started with Alex asking if I still remembered the one time we had kissed. I took a deep breath and nodded.
"It was electric, wasn't it?" He smiled softly.
"Yes Alex, but that's not why we're here."
"How many time did you listen to Jasey Rae?"
"You're really gonna make me talk about this, huh?" I asked, feeling the word vomit rolling around in my mouth.
Alex nodded, and, like he knew what was coming, sat back to brace himself.
"Okay, let's get real," I started. "I listened to that song on repeat for months, trying to figure out what the fuck happened. I went to therapy myself, got put on medication for years, finally got off of it, but the first time I saw you again, I felt like I needed to be on it all over again. You make me crazy, but now I'm strong enough to deal with you. You wrecked me for years. You killed me inside. You took my heart when I left Baltimore, and you haven't done anything to take care of it. You have just yelled at me, degraded me, and made me feeling like the failure I know I am. The session is over, see you in a week."
I stormed out them with tears falling down my face. I couldn't face Alex, I didn't want to. At least now he knew he had destroyed me. I needed to be alone to think, but my phone was blowing up. I screamed as it went off for the tenth time and threw it down on the ground, hoping it would break, but no such luck. Finally I had the clarity to turn it off, and just sat in front of the harbor, watching boats pass. People passed and I watched them too, wondering why my life couldn't be as easy as walking around with a loved one. Why did I have to be such a fuck up? Why did Alex Gaskarth rule my emotions? What happened to me?
Soon it was dark, and I was shaking from the cold. Someone draped a coat over my shoulders, and the smell was enough to tell me who it was. Alex stood behind me, and looked down at his feet.
"How did you find me" I asked, though I knew the answer already. "This is our spot, Rae. I come here all the time when I miss you, I know you miss me, so it just made sense."
"Sit down then," I sniffled, "let's finish this off the record."
He sat then, making sure our legs didn't touch.
"Rachel, I am so sorry, for everything. I never meant to hurt you, but I should have known better. I've always known I was supposed to be your protector, but all I ever did was hurt you."
"I should have never trusted such an arrogant asshole with my heart." I joked, and he laughed softly.
"Yeah, well, I guess I don't really have a comeback for that one," He quipped, "you were the only one who always denied my asshole side."
"Friends?" He asked me, with the first glimpse of hope I had seen in him since I had gotten back to Baltimore.
"Friends," I reassured him. He scooted closer to me and gave me a sideways hug before helping me up and getting me to my rental car.