Chapter 10

This was it. This was where Valerie would meet her fate and uncover her path back to her home. The mountain was a monster towering over them. There wasn't just a couple either, but many many mountains scattered across the valley reaching up to the blue infinity. Guided by intuition, she picked out the tallest mountain that reached past the clouds. It was truly a king among it's kind. The tower of earth was grand with shrubbery lining the bottom half that slowly shifted to snow towards the top. It was too immense for Valerie to discern whether she could really see a shrine or not.

"Lady Valerie." She heard a small voice behind her. "Are you really going to leave us?" Rin's lower lip quivered.

"I... Rin, I'm sorry. I wish I could stay with you, but..."

"Rin. She has her reasons. You must learn to respect them." Sesshoumaru spoke. Valerie glanced at Sesshoumaru before kneeling down to Rin's eye level.

"But I'll miss you, Lady Valerie." Rin rubbed her eyes of the tiny trickles of tears.

"Oh, I'll miss you too, Rin. If I can return to see you again, I will try my hardest."

"Promise?" Rin held out a pinky.

"I promise." Valerie hugged Rin. "Take care."

Valerie stood before the group and bowed deeply. "Thank you all for taking such good care of me these past few weeks. Jaken, Ah Un, Rin... Sesshoumaru." She shifted her eyes to Sesshoumaru. His golden eyes were also peering into her own murky ones. "Thank you." She took a deep bow of gratitude.

Sesshoumaru nodded before turning to continue on his way. The rest of the group followed silently with Rin lingering back to pout and wave goodbye. With her group of acquaintances gone, she turned back to the mountain. She had been traveling all this way North with Sesshoumaru and Rin to find this mountain with the supposed shrine hidden at the top. All this time, she had been searching for a way home. Now that she was here at the base of her final destination, she found it hard to lift a foot towards it. Her challenge stood so tall before her. The mountainside was so steep that she would eventually have to climb the cliffs if she did not find the shrine during her walk up. The climb was daunting.

But she would lose sunlight soon. Valerie tugged her thick winter cloak over her kimono and began her long journey up the mountain in search of the shrine that guarded time. Hoping that she had packed all of the equipment that she would need to survive the long walk, she began her stride.

It wasn't so hard at first, but as the hours passed her rapidly, the air grew more thin. And Valerie was very well aware of that fact.

The gradual lack of air helped ease her into the altitudinal change, but she could feel her muscles growing weary and her lungs struggled harder to pump air through her heart. But she could not afford to stop now. She had already come so far. Valerie glanced down from her spot of the mountain. It looked as though she had climbed for so far. However, one glance at the rest of the mountain above her shifted her hopes to frustration and tiredness. She had not even covered a quarter of the mountain's easiest terrain.

By now, the sun had escaped beyond the horizon and the cold air permeated her lungs, making it even more difficult to breath. Valerie managed to gather some frail firewood from her surroundings and began to make a fire. Her hands were anything but warm and she could barely feel her toes. Once the small fire was started, she took a seat close by and covered herself with a blanket that she had been carrying.

She couldn't help but wish that Inuyasha and Kagome would finish their business and meet her up at the mountain. Between traveling with Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's group, Valerie felt a sense of loneliness for one of the first times in weeks. She closed her eyes and allowed her body to rest for a short moment. When the fire burned out, she packed up again and continued her journey up the mountain.

These actions continued and repeated themselves for almost another day and a half. By then, Valerie could not only feel herself climbing much slower than before, but she could see that the area she covered was nothing compared to what she had accomplished before. Night was creeping on her once again and she had climbed past the point where there was brush and trees to burn. Her feet throbbed and her hands burned from the cold stones she had been grasping to help her up the mountainside.

'I have to make it. I've come so far! Just a little more. I'm sure the shrine is just a little further up.' She consoled herself. 'Soon, I can finally go home.'

Valerie thought of her mother. She thought of the kind doctors that she had met and the friends that she had made in her own time. 'I can't let their efforts go to waste.'

She trekked onward. With each step being more painful than the last for her incredibly sore legs, she began to take frequent pauses to recover her leg strength. The terrain had quickly become steep. It was a struggle to keep her balance on the cliff-side. Thankfully the wind was not terribly strong, but it took every ounce of her strength to keep her grip firm on the stoney cliff edges. Eventually, she had to flatten her body against the stone wall and side step across the edge to reach a more bearable climbing spot.

One step. Two step. Three. Four. Her knee met a sharp rock jutting out from the cliff and her leg recoiled in pain. Her footing was no longer secure and her hands could not support her both her weight and her supplies. Her body slipped from the rocks, sending her tumbling down the cliffside. She could feel her body rolling down the mountain at an angle, sending her away from the path that she had been taking previously. Her body was so weakened from the fatigue and cold that she could do little to stop the disaster.

Suddenly, the stoney cold earth beneath her disappeared. Time seemed to stop while she relived the familiar feeling of momentary suspense. Quickly, her hands reached desperately for anything to catch preserve her body from the fall. Her right hand managed to grasp at a rock. Her body was violently jolted downward as the supplies and her own weight threatened her single-handed triumph. Valerie opened her eyes to find herself dangling precariously off of the side of a cliff with only one hand holding her body up.

There was nothing underneath her. It was all gray fog with not a hint of solid ground. Had she really climbed so far? It all seemed so surreal. It was like a dream that threatened to swallow up her body and mind whole. But this was a dream that Valerie desperately needed to wake up from. She knew she could not die here.

'How did it come to this?' She closed her eyes. 'Should I have given up on my desires for survival? I don't want to live a normal life here. But I want to live.'

Her hand was numb. '... Am I really going to die here?' She could feel her body slipping. 'Was I selfish to desire more than mere survival?' She listened to the faint beating of her heart in her chest. 'Am I selfish to desire living for myself when I have someone else's heart beating within? Was their sacrifice for nothing?'

"I don't want to die!" Her weak voice cried out before her hand gave up and her body was released from the cliffs.

Warmth. Her body fell into the arm of warmth. Valerie weakly opened her eyes.

"... Sesshoumaru..?"

"You do not desire death and yet you willingly climb a mountain that guarantees death. Humans are indeed foolish."

Sesshoumaru held her cradled between his right arm and his body. He closed his eyes and, for a moment, Valerie thought she could hear him sigh softly. Her lower lip trembled and she wrapped her arms around his neck carefully.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered. She knew she would regret the awkwardness that her actions would bring later, but at this point she knew she was merely living in the moment. After all, she was alive. "I'm so sorry to cause you so much trouble. I know I'm selfish. I know. I just thought that if I could do something like this on my own, I could make this life my own. Not someone else's. I don't want to live for someone else. I want to live for myself!"

"..."

"I don't want to just survive. I want to survive and do only what I want."

"Fool."

"... What?" Valerie frowned.

"Are you not living for yourself now?"

"No. I should have died a long time ago. My heart was never good." Valerie brought her hand up to her chest, clutching at the cloth over her heart. "I was given another chance. I had a heart transplant just a few years ago. However... There were still some complications. My body is beginning to reject the donor's heart."

Valerie tightened her grip on the cloth. She paused to listen to her heart's beat.

"I can feel it, even now! This heart is dying. I need to return to my time. I want to live my own normal life. I don't want to live in this world and this time where I will die as someone else. I need to die as Valerie Kimura; not Kuro Satou!"

Kuro. It was the first time that she had allowed her lips to utter that name. The name brought her deep feelings of guilt, sadness, and horror. He was just a boy like any other. No. Not just any other boy. He was the boy she had killed.

His death meant her own survival. For years, she had been living simply for the sake of living for Kuro. Now she was putting herself through hell and risking his death's meaning. But she didn't want to merely survive for the sake of surviving for Kuro. She wanted to survive and live selfishly for herself.

"I wish I could be like you. I wish I could live independently and be strong. I wish I could save others. I wish I weren't bound by a human's selfishness."

"If it takes selfishness to desire life, then is it really so wrong to desire it?"

"..."

"What would become of us if we were not selfish in this way? It seems that true life is not merely survival, but it necessitates a certain element of happiness."

"Happiness." Valerie thought to her self. 'Would I really be happy returning home? Or have I been doing all of this to defy simply surviving on the behalf of another?'

"The characteristic of selfishness is a common necessity for everyone. I will admit that even higher demons share this trait with lowly humans."

"... Really? I suppose you're right."

"I am no god."

"Hah. Obviously." A small smile reached Valerie's lips. The realization dawned on Valerie that she truly regarded Sesshoumaru with tremendous respect. 'Is this what Rin sees in him?' She wondered.

"What now?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"I..." Valerie began before stopping to evaluate her feelings.

Sesshoumaru was right. What now? Should she return home where she could live out her last moments in a familiar surrounding? The warmth that she remembered was enough to make her decide. Her lips parted to give a reply, but a glance at Sesshoumaru made her reconsider. She remembered the night of the cherry blossoms just a few days ago. What had she said then? What was that feeling?

Happiness. She was truly happy. It was not just the serene sight of the beautiful cherry blossoms underneath the romantic night's sky. It was Sesshoumaru. It was Rin. It was even Jaken, Ah Uh, Kagome, Inuyasha, Kaede. It was Hara, Momoru, her furry companion, and even Akio. Everyone that she had met so far in this world had shown her some new beautiful feeling that she could never experienced from her hospital room. What she had told Sesshoumaru underneath those flowering trees was true. These were beautiful memories that she would treasure forever.

Her lips parted again. This time, with a reply that she was sure about.

"I have to pave my own path of happiness. I want to make more beautiful memories here before I die. I will survive for as long as I can here and this time, I will be living for myself."

Not only had this great demon lord of the West saved her life yet again, but he helped to guide her heart and calm her nerves. Her arms tightened around his neck and she buried her face in the warm pure white fur on his shoulder. She could feel the length of the fur wrap itself around her cold body. Warmth. Something she had not felt in so long.

"Are you going to give up this path?"

"No." Valerie pulled her head back and looked into Sesshoumaru's eyes determinedly. "If nothing else, I need to know why I'm here. Why I can't return to my own home."

"What would you gain from this?"

"Probably nothing. But if my body is going to expire soon, I want to know and see as much as I can. Will you help me?"

Everything was still. Sesshoumaru found himself unusually attracted to the young woman's determination to live. Her delicate brows slanted downwards, displaying her strong will to live. Her eyes mesmerized his own and for just a moment, it felt as though it was only the two of them in the entire world.

It was odd. Sesshoumaru had never believed that a mere human could ever earn his appreciation and inspire motivation within him to help her achieve her goal. Yet this young woman captured his interest. This feeling sparked a rare emotion in him; fear. It was just a small spark, almost nonexistent. But it was there. It was a strange feeling to have and it made him uncomfortable. 'This is not fear. How could I ever be afraid of this weak creature?' He quickly banished the thought from his mind.

Sesshoumaru broke eye contact with Valerie and rested his eyes upon the mountain. He could smell a very soft, sweet, and unusual scent. His nose led his sight to follow to the mountainside. The fog that had been thickly enveloping the mountain was clearing. Through that fog, was a smoother terrain with fresh green grass.

They were no longer where they had been before on a mere mountain in the real world. Sesshoumaru was not quite sure where they were. He could sense the territory as neither good nor evil. Was this a different world that they had accidentally stepped into? His eyes observed the grassy mountainside further.

"Look." He spoke.

Valerie removed her head from his shoulder and followed his line of sight back to the mountain. The fog had cleared to reveal not only grass but glowing blooms.

"Flowers?"

*Author's note:

Squeee! I get so excited whenever I see the stats for how many people are actually reading this story. Thank you all for reading and a personal thank you for those of you that have been reviewing and sending those private messages. You know who you are.

And so do I. I really truly appreciate it. Thank you! =)