I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
Through Glass - Stone Sour
...
"You ready to go?" Lily looked at Jenny who did not just look nervous- she looked terrified.
Jenny closed her eyes briefly and breathed out a sigh. "I'm ready."
She could still recall her last appointment at the doctors office. The loss of her innocence and youth came with just two words: "You're pregnant." Back then she felt ashamed, confused, scared, lonely and stupid. Now it was more complicated because this was going to affect everyone around her.
The whole idea of it put her into an emotional spin.
"Don't worry," Lily gave her a smile, "It's a simple scan."
"I guess so." Jenny answered, still sounding doubtful while packing her bag.
"Did you talk to your mom about the doctor?"
She ran a hand through her hair and tried to smile at her. "Yeah, well…"
"You didn't tell her?"
"I don't think she really cares." Jenny said bitterly, "Dad agreed with me, she just brings problems with her. The sooner mom leaves, the better."
Oh the irony.. Jenny thought, she hadn't really before understood that she was much like her mom. Impulsive and stubborn.
She shrugged, trying to play it off as if she didn't care even if they both knew that she did, a girl has to have her defenses after all.
"Allison was just shocked that's all." Lily stared at Jenny's tired eyes, "We all were shocked and still are."
They were silent for a few moments then, Jenny said quietly, "The difference is that you or dad didn't try to make this decision for me. It's been a week and she still tries to make me do something that I simply can't do. "
Lily didn't say anything. Jenny had during the past week reached the point where she was ready to talk about the whole incident.
She took a deep breath. "Look," she said it as gently as she could, "I know it's not really my place to pass pressure, but it seems to me that you are ready to tell Charles."
Her back immediately stiffened at the announcement and she could swear she felt a chill from a drafty of some sort run through the room at that sudden proclamation.
The blond gave her a sad smile. "I'm not," she continued. "I'm never going to be ready-"
"You are almost three months along, Jenny." Lily said, trying desperately to keep her tone controlled.
"I just…" She shut her eyes as if flinching at her own thoughts, "I want to tell him myself. I'll just wait him to come back."
A wide range of feelings passed Lily, but she decided to smile in return.
...
Dan pushed away his now-empty tray, void of any traces of hamburger or fries. Leaning back, he looked at the girl sitting across the table from him.
"Has Jenny called you?" She asks.
He looks down, playing with the straw sticking out of his Coke. Actually, he hasn't looked up before, so he couldn't technically have looked down just then. Whatever he did, he was evading her , Serena knew Dan. He was thinking about how to best phrase his thoughts.
"She doesn't answer my calls. If does, she manages to say two words."
"You are worried about her." She comes into a conclusion, "Well at least now you can relax because Chuck is here, not there."
"Chuck," he barely whispers to her, "I still can't understand how can Blair even talk to the guy, I mean he destroyed her. He has done it more than once."
"They have a long history together, it's not easy to throw someone out of your life when he has been a big part of it."
He raises his brow on the subject. Deep down, he knew that she was referring to him. There was so much that needed to be said. He knew that she was as confused and disoriented as him.
This summer seemed to be more about other people, and there was always someone or something on the way.
Dan also knew that she loved him like he loved her, but life doesn't work like a fairytale.
"Blair, is looking for trouble Serena, believe me." He tried carefully to keep his tone gentle, "Thanks for not letting me do anything stupid that I would regret." He referred to the night he first saw Chuck in Paris.
"No problem," She smiled as they stepped out of the diner, "I wouldn't want you to spend the rest of our vacation in jail."
"I wouldn't either." He chuckled, "I can't believe I got sucked into this drama. I swore to myself before we started dating in the first place that I would never be in the middle of something like this."
"It's called Upper East Side, Dan." Serena laughed, "You can't be a part of our world without the drama."
"I just wish there was something I could do to make things better."
She was unsure of what to say in reply. There was silence for a few long moments as they walked down the street.
"You can't blame yourself for what Jenny did, it was her decision. She isn't a little girl anymore."
"Far from that." He joked and Serena laughed with him, "Then again, if we had never started dating, I wouldn't have met you." His voice cracked.
She smiled foolishly and looked at him with a big grin on her face.
She didn't care.
There was something about Dan that made her always want to grin like a little kid, "No matter what happens, we will always be there for each other."
"Always." He smiled back and hugged her.
The moment was ruined by the sound of his cell phone vibrating. Dan sighed out loud and, unhappily for Serena, he took out his hand from hers and got his cell phone from his pocket and answered it.
"Dan, I need to talk to you." She said, her words slightly stiff.
"Vanessa?"
...
Jenny and Lily were waiting in the doctors room, anxiously. Jenny sat on the bed which was surprisingly uncomfortable and Lily sat on the left side as support. She was smiling at her, hoping that she could make Jenny a little bit more comfortable as she sat there and stared at all the pictures of babies on the wall.
Suddenly the door opened and a nice looking lady came inside.
"Miss Humphrey, my name is Dr. Roberts, but you can call me Karen," She greeted, "I'm so sorry for being a bit late."
"No problem." Jenny shook her hand and smiled nervously, "I'm Jenny."
Then, the doctor greeted Lily who she had known for many years. This was the same doctor who was there when Serena and Eric were born.
"So you are here for your first scan!" She smiled at her reassuringly, "Excited?"
Jenny just shrugs and lies down
"Don't worry this won't hurt at all." She turned on the machine behind her, which looked just like the one that she saw on the abortion clinic.
"Please lift up you shirt slightly," She said as she pressed a few buttons on the machine. Jenny nodded and proceeded to lift her black top up slightly. She put the cold gel on her stomach. Jenny watched her as she put the probe on her stomach, while staring intently at the screen.
"We should be able to see something soon," Karen said, as she and Lily continued to stare at the small screen. Waiting for something to happen.
Then she suddenly stopped and turned a knob on the machine. Jenny heard a faint sound.
A beat, again and again.
The doctor noticed Jenny's overwhelmed expression, "That is the baby's heartbeat."
Everything was quiet for a moment, as she realized what Karen had just said to her and Jenny tried to take in the fact that she'd actually said it
"There it is. Can you see it?" She said pointing at the small blob, this time it was bigger. Last time it was still just a little dot.
Jenny gave a slight nod.
"Oh my God!" Lily enthused in what was supposed to be a hushed tone, "Amazing, right?"
"Lily." Jenny deadpanned. "You're squealing." She bit her lip.
Silence filled the room as the baby's heart pounded on the background.
"So when can I get it out?"
Surprised by the firmness in Jenny's voice, Dr. Roberts flinched.
"By the look of this scan, I would say that your estimated due date is on February 20th ." She continued to explain, "It always depends on when the conception occurred, but I can't say this day is one hundred percent accurate. The baby could come earlier, which we do not hope or even later."
"And now everything looks like fine?" Lily asked as she squeezed Jenny's hand.
"Yes. The baby's heart sounds strong and normal." She replied. "I can only advice on the fact that Jenny needs to take things easily because she is now on the first trimester which could end tragically."
"What about her age- does it effect this at all?" Lily kept asking.
"No. In Jenny's case I can say that everything is okay and I can't see any reason why something would go wrong. She is sixteen, but If I correctly understood you aren't raising this child?"
Jenny nodded. "I'm giving it away."
"That is a brave decision."
Jenny raised her eyebrows as she didn't understand what she meant.
"What do you mean?" She questioned suspiciously and smiled.
"I think it would be good for you to visit our support group a couple of times, just to talk."
"I know what I'm doing," Jenny snapped and pulled her shirt back on.
Lily's mouth dropped open, "Jenny I think you should listen-"
"It's my decision isn't it?" She said frantically, "I choose not to talk about it, okay? I'm fine with this."
It didn't feel right anymore. Lately she had felt bad, awful about having this baby because she felt like she was a freak, she was evil, she wasn't normal, she was ill.
If Jenny was to drop dead, who would care? And why should anyone care? What had she ever given to anyone else?
She had acknowledged that Rufus couldn't talk to her like he used to.
Lily was being stupidly overprotective and even Eric seemed distant.
She had predicted this to happen, her family to break down around her and hearing that heart beat had triggered it all inside her.
She was bringing a baby into this world and it had the most messed up genes.
This baby could grow out to be worse than her and the thought scared her.
Lily's eyes were steadily staring at her with a rare seriousness as she walked out of the room. All she could think was that she was broken.
...
It took more than two hours to find his number, but Allison knew what she was doing. She was going to teach this boy some manners-
She looked back and forth between the buttons, taking deep breathe before dialing the number.
"Nate?"
She put it to his ear, not sure if she should speak, just yet.
"Nathaniel, quit it with the frigging' prank calls" He said with obvious annoyance.
Allison could tell this was the guy she was looking for and that he was not happy.
"Uh…" She said unsurely, "Is this Chuck Bass?"
"Who the hell's this?" He spat.
"I'm calling behalf of my daughter, Jenny." Allison said firmly.
She heard an annoyed sigh on the other end, "Are you kidding me?"
"If I was you I would lose the attitude right now," She said angrily, "I'm going to make you pay for what you did to-"
"Hold on lady." Chuck growled, "I don't know what your little Jenny has told you, but what happened is between me and your daughter."
"I'm not going to let you or your words scare me." She snapped, "You people think that you are better than other people, but you know what Chuck? I'm going to make this public and make sure people will find out what kind of low life you really are."
Chucks smirk fell for a split second, "I really don't understand what your problem is." He retorted, "It was just sex."
"You sick bastard." She groaned, "Jenny is sixteen. She is still just a child and you ruined her life, I'm going to make sure that you will pay for this the rest of your life. She is not going to be the only one who will have to deal with this burden. She is pre-" She was cut off by an angry voice.
"Allison! What are you doing?" Rufus looked at her in shock, "Give me the phone!"
Chuck heard Rufus yell and with that, he closed his phone. He couldn't care less what was happening in New York.
After realizing what she was doing, Rufus couldn't believe it. Allison was sitting in Lily's home-office, talking into his wife's phone and she even had Lily's personal phone book on the other hand.
Allison swallowed and handed the phone to Rufus, knowing that she was in trouble.
"What do you think you were doing?" Rufus demanded and looked at the caller ID, "You called Chuck!"
"I just wanted to exchange a couple words."
"You were going to tell him that Jenny is pregnant!" Usually Rufus didn't like raising his voice, but what Allison did was unacceptable. He was pissed-off.
"I just lost my temper." Her lips tightened.
"You lost your temper?" Rufus cried in outrage, "I still can't believe you did that."
"What did she do?" Jenny walked into the room with a confused look on her face.
Allison is busteed!
Thank you for reviews on the last chapter! :))
And oh my Vanessa calling Dan.. thoughts?
XoxoDesireh