Title: A TechCom Trainee's Journal
Chapter 10: Entries 27-28
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Entry #27 9-27-2027
I think I am going certifiably insane. Not only have the nightmares continued, but now I am starting to see Allison when I'm awake. I'll notice a girl walking by with brown, wavy locks of hair, and think that it's her. After a few embarrassing instances of me grabbing the women's shoulders to turn them around and seeing a face I don't recognize, I have learned to ignore these "visions". Now, whenever I think I see her face, I just close my eyes and take a second look. It's never her. It can't be. She's gone. Why won't my mind accept that? Is it because some idiot part of my brain actually believed her? Believed her when she told be on the morning she left for West Hollywood; "I promise I'll come back... no matter what happens".
I was getting pretty good at ignoring the tricks my mind is playing on me, up until a few hours ago. I saw her. Not just a split second vision. Not just seeing her likeness in some other woman's face. It was her. I stared for at least 30 seconds. It was her. That hair... those eyes... those lips... It was her. She was passing through the mess hall while I was trying to choke down my nutrient-paste lunch. I did a double take when I saw her. Then a triple take. I kind of assumed I was seeing either a ghost or a hallucination, but it couldn't have been. One person bumped into her shoulder as she passed and said "pardon me" to her. People can't bump into a ghost or a hallucination. Whatever I was looking at, it was definitely real, and not in my head.
I stood up from my lunch table and walked after her. I followed her down a hallway until she reached a door leading to a restricted area. She leaned over to let the retinal scanner near the door shine into her eyes. There was a metallic clunk as the door's lock actuated, and she was about to step through it when I grabbed her arm, turning her around. "Allison?!?" I said. I was feeling a mixture of joy and confusion when she turned around and I got a good look at her face close up. It was definitely her... but something seemed off. Her eyes had a peculiar absence of life. She had the blankest stare I had ever seen, but I didn't care. I continued, "Allison! I can't believe it. I'm so glad to see you. I knew you'd come back to me. I knew..."
"Who are you?" She said coldly. "My name is Cameron. You must have me mistaken for someone else."
I was in shock. Did she really not know who I was? Why did she call herself "Cameron"? I wanted to talk to her more, but no words would come to my mouth. I stood there staring as blankly as she was. She didn't wait for my response for more than a couple seconds before turning back around, passing through the restricted door and closing it behind her.
She had no idea who I was. I can't believe it. The machines... they must have brainwashed her. This is some new form of mental torture that I can't deal with. It's as though God is teasing me. Dangling the fruit in from of my face only to snatch it away as soon as I grab for it. How could she forget me completely? I need to talk to someone who would understand. I should talk to Derek. He was pretty broken up about Allison's presumed death. She was like a little sister to him. I wonder if he knows she's alive.
Entry #28 9-29-2027
I went to go talk to Derek yesterday, but after I saw him, I didn't want to bring up the topic of Allison. He looked so distressed and depressed; I didn't want to stir up any other sorrowful thoughts in his mind. I would be pretty broken up too if I had just lost my brother to the machines. Poor Derek. No one can even tell him what happened to Kyle. All anyone knows (or is willing to tell) is that he was on a high profile mission to Topanga Canyon... trying to destroy some new Skynet superweapon. Kyle was one of several that didn't come home. Kyle had become somewhat of a friend of mine as well, but the pain I feel for his death must pale in comparison to Derek's grief.
"They even had METAL working with them. I bet one of them turned on Kyle. Those bastards!" Derek said to me with puffy red eyes. Metal? Working WITH them? Derek explained that Connor has started reprogramming tin-cans to work for us, but sometimes they go bad. Derek witnessed it first hand one night in the bunker. I was topside doing some recon when it went down so I didn't see it, but I heard it was awful... It was just mowing people down with a machine gun. He seemed to have something else to tell me about that incident, but was reluctant. Maybe the idea of a "good" machine turning on him reminded him of the probable cause of Kyle's death, and pained him to talk about it any more. I'm not sure what else he would have told me, but it must not have been important so I didn't press it.