A/N: Quite a few of you are very dedicated reviewers, and I just wanted you to know that even when I don't reply to your review, your support means a lot to me. There aren't enough happy dances in the world for me to show my appreciation.

Castaway

Chapter 10: Growth, Regression, and Foreshadowing

Like Eve, and Case before her, no barcode appeared at the nape of Jaime's neck in the months following his birth.

He was free.

Well, he was beyond free, 'cuz look at where he lived. But still, it was the principle of the thing. Her child wasn't stamped like a piece of property. When Gem had looked in wonder at the back of Eve's neck, a very small part of Max had agreed with Mole's bitter assessment; the child wasn't free, because they'd still have to fight long and hard to be accepted by society. Only now, having her own child, did Max fully understand the relief that must have coursed through Gem's mind… Max smiled.

Alec, coming across the beach towards them, paused, letting his eyes take in the sight of his mate and his son.

Her hand brushed up and down his small body. He lay on her bare stomach, sleeping peacefully, a hand fisted near his face. Alec didn't know that such a sweetly agonizing feeling even existed until he caught sight of Max and Jaime, his heart melting in ways it never had before.

Max felt the intensity of his stare and her head turned lazily to catch his gaze. If Alec had still been walking, he probably would've been forced to stop by the sudden breathlessness that threatened to overcome him.

Max looked… content.

Peaceful, even.

It wouldn't be a leap for him to say that he'd never seen her like that before. And though he knew the cause of this newfound calmness within her, he still couldn't quite believe it... Her contentment was almost enough to make up for the fact that his recklessness could have killed her. Almost.

His fist tightened, but he shook it away as he crossed the remaining distance.

"Hey," He smiled at her as she came in to the bedroom.

"Hey yourself." She smiled back.

"Sport sleepin'?"

"Finally," She rolled her eyes, her hand glancing across her pocket before she pushed her jeans to the floor and crawled into bed with him. "Remember the good ole days when he always slept?"

"Whatever happened to those days?" He smiled, pulling her tight against his body.

"I think they were last week," Max rubbed tired eyes and let her head pillow on Alec's outstretched arm.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that." He smiled into her hair, his hand sliding down her arm. She sighed, her body relaxing against him. Sharks may not need a lot of sleep but they do need some sleep and dang it if Jaime didn't always know when she was about to drop off.

He pulled the hair from her neck, pressing a kiss just behind her ear.

And Max was amazed to find that she wasn't that tired anymore.

"Alec?" She breathed.

He froze, just for a moment, his blood heating faster than his brain's arguments. He shifted behind her, pressing close, his breath fanning across her neck. Her own breath came quicker as his hand ran down her side and then moved back up, under the remaining half of her shirt. She arched back into him, arched into his hand…

Just as Jaime started crying again.

Alec groaned and Max sighed. She started to pull away from him, but he pressed her back down and stood up himself.

"I got it this time," He said, and she smiled at him in surprised relief. He was almost out the door when he glanced back and let his eyes skim over her pink cheeks, "Is it too much to ask that you'll still be awake when I get back?"

She shrugged, suppressing a smile. "Probably,"

"Figures," He muttered, and left the room. She heard him pull Jamie from his bed, and talk soothingly to the squalling child.

"You're lucky that you're my favorite or you and I'd be having a man to man talk." Max rolled her eyes at the muffled words. The floor creaked as Alec began pacing, Jamie in his arms. Max relaxed into the furs, listening to the soft sound of Alec humming something that sounded suspiciously like classical music.

When she woke up a few hours later, Alec was still not in bed. She winced sympathetically, hoping he wasn't too badly off. She moved quietly to Jaime's room and then stopped in the threshold, her heart climbing into her throat to sneak a peek before sighing dramatically and sliding back down, a warm, useless, gooey remainder of what it'd previously been. She leaned against the doorframe, her head tilting as she smiled softly.

Alec was sitting with his back against the wall, Jaime still in his arms. Both of her men were fast asleep, mouths slightly open.

Max sent silent thanks to Manticore for one of the very few things that they got right. Who needs a camera when you've got a photographic memory? Max tucked the scene into the gooey remnants of her heart, knowing full well that she could live to be one hundred and five and never see anything quite as great.

She pushed herself from the doorway and crossed the room, leaning down to pull Jaime from Alec's tight grasp. He woke immediately, looking up at her in surprise before offering her a sheepish grin. She rolled her eyes, putting Jaime quietly back into his bed. She tucked a light pelt around his legs, smiling slightly at the sleeping infant. She turned and caught Alec watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. He started as she caught him staring and then smirked, holding out a hand. She rolled her eyes but moved back to him anyway and helped him silently to his feet. Back in their room, he fell into bed and it was all she could do to stop herself from laughing at him as she joined him.

Then the memory of his hand on her breast warmed her cheeks and laughter became an impossibility.

"Alec?" She asked softly, leaning over him.

He snored softly in response.

She sighed in disappointment and lay back down, her cheek resting against her folded arm. Knowing full well that remaining awake with the memory of what had almost happened wouldn't be easy, she let her eyes close and began breathing rhythmically, using the trick she'd perfected over the last year to drop off into an unnecessary, dream-filled sleep. As her body relaxed, Alec's eyes opened, clear and sharp, and moved across her still face for a few moments. He frowned, rolling to his back, and stared hard at the poles overhead. It'd take him an hour to fall asleep.

Jamie was a little over two months old. The whites of Max's eyes were once again clear, the last of the blood vessels that had burst during Jaime's delivery disappearing. Like the redness in her eyes, the trauma of labor was rapidly becoming a sort of vague memory. At least in Max's mind. She remembered that it'd hurt and it'd been unpleasant and she remembered thinking a number of unsavory things about Alec, but it didn't bother her much beyond that.

Alec remembered her ashen face and her sweaty forehead and her pained cries and his overwhelming fear. Just thinking about it made his palms sweat. Which was probably one of the reasons he kept avoiding the issue of sex. Actually it was one of two reasons. The other reason being he was scared of reliving that situation. Scared of putting her in that much danger again.

Max wasn't stupid. True, she hadn't noticed his avoidance in the first few weeks of Jaime's life because she'd been too busy avoiding him; she'd been tired and her body had been adjusting to not being pregnant and frankly she hadn't been even remotely interested… but now… When he once again found a reason to not make with the gettin' busy (or even partake in a clandestine make out session), it was fairly obvious that something was up.

"Whaddya mean we don't have any mangoes? It's the middle of the night, you can't go get mangoes."

"I was just saying, that maybe tomorrow-"

"I was kissing your neck and you were thinking about mangoes?!"

He shrugged. "I'm a multi-tasker." Then he yawned dramatically, his arms stretching overhead. "Man, I'm beat!" He turned and walked into their bedroom. She didn't follow him because it'd be too easy to yell at him right now.

Alec pulled the shirt from his body, and frowned thoughtfully at the garment in his hands. Max had been increasingly responsive since they'd almost made love the previous week. Since they'd almost made a big frickin' mistake. He sighed, his shirt dropping to his side as he rubbed his face with one hand.

Did he want Max?

Desperately.

But he wasn't an animal, he could live without sex. And he'd made a vow to himself, back when she'd been pregnant.

Never again. Never again putting her in that much danger.

Course, back then, he couldn't wait for the pregnancy to be over and for their sex lives to get back on a roll, though with some concessions to safety… but that'd been before he'd been witness to the whole messy experience...

After a few minutes Max's blood cooled slightly below boiling and she was able to walk into their bedroom without taking a coconut to lob at his head.

"How long are you going to avoid me?" She asked his shirtless back.

He glanced at her over his shoulder before looking again at the shirt at his side, pulling it back over his head

Max snorted. "Oh, what, now you're gonna sleep in your clothes?" She glared at him. "Scared I'm going to ravish you, fair maiden?"

He glanced again at her, his mouth quirking. "Man, Max, sometimes…"

"Sometimes what?"

He chuckled. "Sometimes you sound so much like me, it scares me a bit."

Max started. She did exchange her normal 'shut up' for Alec-ish smart ass quips far more often than she'd used too… But that's not the point, the point is-

"You don't want to sleep with me." She accused.

He turned to face her, smiling slightly. "No, Max. I'd love to sleep with you. I'm actually kinda tired. So let's get with that sleepin'."

It was getting harder to control her anger. She glared at him. "You know what I mean, smart ass. You practically run away anytime anything remotely sexual starts to happen."

He fixed her with a blank stare. "Don't know what you're talkin' about."

"Oh please," Her mouth curled in disdain. "I saw through that bullshit line even when I didn't know you. The difference being then I'd have let it go. You're not getting away with anything, so start talking."

He dropped into bed, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Still don't know what you're talking about." His arms folded behind his head, his legs crossed at the ankles, and he practically exuded an air of unconcerned innocence.

She stared incredulously at him. Did he really think she was that dense? Or did he think she'd just get exasperated and give up? (That's exactly what he thought) Unfortunately for him, Max had another way of proving her point.

She pulled her shirt from her body in a single fluid motion. His smiled slightly before letting his face fall back into neutrality as she popped the snap of her jeans, shoving them down her legs, stepping from them daintily.

Hah! Was that the best she'd got? He knew how she was (see earlier: Mrs. Anti-sexuality-unless-she-wants-something). Take more than that to get him to admit to anything.

He smirked devilishly at her as she walked slowly towards him, her hips swinging. When she was about a foot away, he unfolded his arms from behind his head and pushed himself up on his elbows, his eyes widening. "Max, is that a stretch mark?"

Her eyes widened in a show of panic. "What?! Where?" She looked down at her stomach, running her hands across the expanse of flesh.

"Coulda sworn I saw-" He trailed off, squinting at her stomach.

And was shoved back down as she straddled him. She smirked down at him, one hand slipping under his shirt. "Did you really think that would work?" She leaned into him, breathing in the scent of his skin before nipping slightly at the tender flesh of his ear. Alec tried really hard to stop his eyes from rolling back into his head, and even though he failed at least he didn't let the shudder escape.

As Max sat up, he told himself he wasn't going to lose the argument. Jaime would wake up any minute now and he wouldn't have to admit he was scared of anything…

Then one finger slipped under his waistband and swept across his front and he began to doubt his ability to stay detached from the situation. Just hold out, he told himself. Any minute Jaime would come to the rescue.

She leaned down again to press a kiss against his neck, her tongue darting into the hollow of his throat as she pulled the button on his jeans free.

Yup… any second… C'mon, Jaime, pal. Don't make your old man look like a chump.

As Max's small hand slipped into his pants, Alec couldn't help but think that his son was a dang traitor. Of all the nights for him to be sleeping peacefully-

"Okay, okay, you win." He disengaged from her carefully. Max became all business in a matter of moments, lifting herself off of him and crossing the room to lean against the opposite wall, her arms folded. Alec stifled the small irrational part of his brain that threw out a bit of disappointment at how easily she detached herself from the situation. Then realized that probably wasn't his brain talking and got over it because the brain in his skull had better arguments on why nothing should happen between them.

"I can't lose you." He admitted, well aware of the kind of shit storm a statement like that could start.

Max rolled her eyes, "Come off it, Alec, nothing's going to happen to me."

"Would you let go of your God complex for two seconds?" Alec sighed, sitting up even though he felt suddenly weary.

Her arms dropped to her sides and she pushed herself from the wall. "Excuse you-"

"Women die in childbirth everyday. What makes you so goddamn special?" His voice became more biting with each word.

"First of all," Max raged back, "That's providing I even get pregnant again. And believe me, after that God comment it'll be a miracle if I even let you sleep in the same room with me. Secondly-"

"Secondly, nothing." He rose with his anger, advancing on her. "You've always thrown yourself around like you're some kind of immortal. Even in Seattle you put yourself in situations without even a little bit of risk analysis. Ooo, I don't do guns." Alec mimicked bitingly. "Eyes Only needs me, who cares if I get shot up."

"When did this turn into an argument about Seattle?" Max replied scathingly, not backing down for even a moment. "We're talking about your inability to admit you're scared of having sex."

"You never examine the risks, Max!" His voice was thick with frustration.

So was hers. "Oh, and you do so much better, Mr. Target-for-a-shoulder?"

His face descended into iciness. "And isn't it funny how I always got shot when I was with you."

"Hey, that time at Jam Pony, I wasn't even there."

Neither of them really knew what they were arguing about anymore, but the frustration was helped along nicely by memories of Seattle.

"All sewers lead straight back to T.C., genius. But instead, you sent them through the city, in broad daylight, to a place of business."

"They were surrounded by Ordinaries and you were the closest friendly nearby!" She argued. He rolled his eyes, because she didn't refute that she'd sent them through in daylight. "Besides, Josh was freaking out and talking about babies popping out. I wasn't gonna make them crawl around in the sewers with a pregnant female!"

"Gem's X-5." Alec acted as though he were pointing it out to a dimwit. Max ground her teeth. Alec ignored her. "But, of course, personal crusader Max forgets that everyone she campaigns for is more than capable of defending themselves. So you just let your old buddy Alec deal with it-"

"Joshua was a wreck." She enunciated slowly, mimicking his superior inflection. "And I trusted you to be able to calm him down. Excuse me for having a little bit of faith in you!"

He snorted.

Her ire died and her eyes widened as the ridiculous nature of their argument finally registered. What the hell were they even fighting about? "Oh my god."

"What now?" He asked.

"We're like that old married couple you see on Sundays at the market and wonder why they ever got together."

He blinked in confusion. Then paused thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think I saw them a few times."

"It wasn't a literal analysis, jackass."

He frowned at her. "So much for making peace." He paused slightly, and then as a matter of honor, threw out a "Bitch." for good measure.

She scowled. "Are you trying to start a fight with me?"

"Believe it or not, I don't enjoy your bitchiness." He snarked.

Max saw right through him and his biting recovery. Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, you are."

"Don't be stupid,"

She laughed in stunned disbelief. "You are. Alec tactics 101. You're trying to distract me." Her voice became accusing. "Change the subject and get me so angry I really will throw you out and then you won't have to deal with the sex issue for another week."

He froze, his spine stiffening. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Max shook her head, laughing again in disbelief. "You are so predictable."

"This time I'm serious," He frowned. Although that'd partly been why he'd been riling her up, he really did have issues with her blasé attitude when it came to her safety. "Stop treating yourself like you're untouchable."

Her eyes narrowed. "News flash, genius. The only one treating me like that is you." She turned on her heel and stalked out of the room.

Alec sighed, running a hand through his hair. And then paused when Max flounced back into the room and jumped on him, her mouth covering his. His arms came up automatically to support her as he lost himself and all of his arguments.

She broke away after a moment, smirking superiorly at his glassy expression. "You really are an idiot." She said affectionately.

He blinked and focused on her. "What the hell was that about?"

"You're arguing 'cuz you're worried about me," She sighed, her smirk failing. "I figure you deserve some credit for that."

He let out a short laugh,. Then grinned. "Actually wouldn't be that bad if you got pregnant again."

She froze, stiffening in his arms.

"I mean, remember how you kept telling me you loooved me and you needed me and-"

"Shut up!" She said unhappily, sliding down his frame, coming back to her feet. "That was the hormones."

"Yeah," he smiled wistifully. "I miss those hormones."

She popped him in the shoulder.

He rubbed his shoulder, the gleam in his eyes ruining the effect of his scowl. "And that's one of the many reasons why I miss them."

She arched one eyebrow at him. "I had the hormones. What was your excuse?"

"Hormonal by association." He said it so confidently she had to laugh.

But if she thought that their argument had cleared the air and reopened the path to a full and satisfying sex life, the coming weeks would prove her very wrong.

At three months, Jaime's laughter was a common occurrence. Max didn't understand what was so ridiculously fabulous about... well, any of the hundreds of things that Jaime found amusing, but if Jaime liked it, she liked it, too. Alec insisted that Jaime got his easy temperament from him; said he could just imagine Max terrorizing the infant handlers as a baby. Max told him she'd probably learned it from him.

A few weeks after Jaime's three month mark, in the beginning of May, Alec turned 24. Just like the year before, he didn't mention it to Max. He didn't set much store by it because it was just an arbitrary date he'd picked in lieu of a real birthday. For all he knew, he could be the same age as Max. He doubted it… Even if he hadn't known he was a year older than her, he'd have known based upon how old he sometimes felt. Especially on the days that Max got all moody when he refused to do anything more than some heavy petting.

At four months, Alec realized Jaime was paying close attention to the reflections in the water pool. On a clear day, he'd watch the wavering image of that dark haired stranger with the light-dark eyes in rapt fascination. He'd watch in open-mouthed amazement as the stranger kept time with his movements and would turn wide eyes on his parents every few moments. Are you seeing this?! He'd get quite distressed if either Max or Alec would disrupt the image, slapping at the water awkwardly in an attempt to make the stranger reappear, unaware he wasn't helping the situation. Luckily, he was easily distracted and his annoyance never lasted more than a few moments.

Max had no such problems. It was the end of the month, and Max was so sexually frustrated, she wanted to tear her hair out. She hadn't felt this on edge since she'd been in Seattle. Alec must be made out of frickin' stone. In Washington, she'd thought he was incapable of lasting a few days without getting some. She shoulda known he had the discipline of the true blue Manticore few when he actually wanted it. That he was using his training to resist her… it surpassed childish, ridiculous, and maddening within Max's mind and went to straight up evil.

It was a ridiculously sultry June evening. The bright moon was hanging low in the heavens and a soft breeze was working its way across the island.

Long story short; perfect night for getting some.

But when Alec avoided her questing hand, using his own to tease her mercilessly, she'd had about enough.

"If I wanted to feel fingers, I'd have used my own," She growled, but couldn't keep her face from coloring in embarrassment.

He paused, hovering over her, and she could practically hear the wheels turning within his head.

"Don't even go there," She warned him. He shrugged, looking away, but was unable to completely hide the smile and it earned him a disgusted grunt as she pushed him away and got up from their bed, stopping only for a moment to pull on her jeans.

"Where you going?" He asked, his smile back under control. Too bad there was still a hint of amusement in his voice. She huffed in annoyance and walked out of the room. He knew that if he tried he'd be able to hear the soft sound of Jaime's even breath in the next room, evidence that the boy was sleeping soundly. But Max didn't head for Jaime's room, like he thought she would, but left their home entirely. He sighed, letting his head thunk back onto the pallet. While pissing Max off, to this day, remained one of his favorite past times, it'd been easier as of late because she was so damn volatile. And that was putting it mildly. God, she was almost as bad as she'd used to be in Seattle.

He sighed again and rolled out of bed. He glanced into Jaime's room, ensured to himself that the boy was sleeping soundly, before he made himself go after her, even though he knew he could end up sporting bruises for it tomorrow. Or, well, later today because it was already well past midnight.

"I don't even want to look at you," She said as he crested the slope next to the waterfall. He came to stand next to her, helped her peruse their kingdom.

"C'mon, Max, you know I'm a dirty old man. You shouldn't have said it to begin with." He grinned, flashing his teeth at her. She remained immune to his easy brand of charm, staring out over the waterfall, arms folded tightly across her chest.

He rolled his eyes, "Jeez, Max, you're almost as pissy as you were in Seattle." Then something clicked in his mind, and his eyes widened a bit. "Oh my god."

"Don't even think it." She growled. "My anger is in no way correlated to how sexually frustrated I am."

"Really? Then how come you knew what I was thinking?"

"Because I know you,"

"Yeah, or maybe because you were thinking it too."

"That has nothing to do with it!" She exploded.

He fixed her with a level gaze, as if she was proving his point for him. And then he sighed. "Ah, screw it." And pulled her in close, his mouth slanting over hers.

She was almost completely taken in by him, until she felt him reach for the button at her waist. She ripped away from him, her eyes narrowing in cold rage. "I don't want a pity fuck." She hissed and she pushed past him, picking her way down the incline.

She kinda wished O.C. was here to throw something out like, 'just like a man to think he can solve anything with sex,' or to just generally commiserate with. She felt rather than saw Alec coming after her, but she ignored him as best she could. Until she felt the sand hit her back.

"What the-"

She whirled around, just in time to catch another handful of sand in the chest.

"Alec, what the hell are you doing?!"

"You want to act like a child, so I don't see why I can't play like one." He grabbed another fistful.

"Put that down!"

His face lowered, his grin becoming malicious. "Make me." He tossed the grit, but she'd already moved out of the way.

"I know what you're trying to do," She frowned, "and it's not going to work."

"What's that?" He asked innocently, scooping up some of the wet sand beneath the surf. She watched the water run from the gloopy mess in trepidation.

"Don't you dare."

"Who's gonna stop me?" She moved away as he slung it, intent on getting back to the safety of the house, but he'd taken her movement into account and the wet mess hit her squarely on the ass. Her back arched as she twisted at the waist to better stare incredulously at the mark on her pants. Then turned to glare at him.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now, Pretty Boy."

He smirked. "Make my day."

She didn't bother with any theatrics or blurring or anything like that, just straight up charged him, using her brute strength to knock him to the ground, coming to rest on top of him. She sat up, settling back against him as she glared. He winced as the cold water rushed up around his fallen from, fell away, rushed in again.

When she didn't throw any punches, he forget the cold water and looked up at her in confusion. Like, 'what the hell are you waiting for', or something.

"This remind you of anything?" She asked.

He propped himself up on his elbows and glanced appreciatively at her thighs. "The fact that I haven't had sex in a long time?"

She scoffed. "First of all, whose fault is that? Secondly… No. That first night in Seattle. With Logan and the virus. I knocked you down the same way." She arched an eyebrow. "You should have known better by now."

"Sand's loose," He sniffed. "Just caught me off balance, is all."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Why-"

"Just tryin' to help you work out some aggression, Max, that's all."

"Guess I have been kinda bitchy lately, huh?" She sighed. She glanced down and swatted him in the shoulder for his 'well, duh' look. "It has nothing to do with the sex, though." She insisted.

"Then what's it all about, Maxie?"

"Lately, I've just been feeling a little…"

"Horny?" Alec supplied helpfully. Earning himself another smack.

"Unwanted," She corrected snidely. "And for the record, my pissiness in Seattle had nothing to do with sexual tension and everything to do with the fact that I was constantly a touch away from killing the guy I was in love with. "

Alec stilled, becoming uncomfortable, as he always did, when Logan was brought up. Even more than usual because, in Alec's mind, 'love' and 'Logan' should never be allowed, implied or otherwise, in the same sentence. Unless, of course, if it was on the very rare possibility that one day she'd say something like 'I'd love to smack Logan upside his bitch head,' or 'Logan would cry like a little baby if he knew how much I love you,' or-

"Alec, you still with me?"

"What?" His gaze refocused on her, "Oh, sorry, please continue." Then he smiled, his expression one more turning faraway. Or, 'Love? Me and Logan? Nah, I never felt that.'

"Just forget it," She hissed, pushing off of him. He sat up slightly, catching her wrist and pulling her back down.

"Okay, okay, I'm listening. You shoulda known you'd lose me by bringing Wonder Legs into it."

Another slight smack, remnants of a long ago habit, for the 'Wonder Legs' comment, and then she was laying on top of him, resting her cheek against his chest. He smiled, let his hand run down her back, pretended he wasn't bothered by the wet sand against his.

"You can't avoid sex forever."

No, but he could try.

In all fairness, he knew he was being a little paranoid. A little overprotective. Knew that sex didn't always equal siblings for Jaime if they played it carefully enough…

But he also he remembered that grey January day and how she'd bit her lip and squeezed his hand. And he'd been unable to feel the pain because he'd been too busy watching the blood well around her teeth. Too busy thinking to himself, 'I did this.'

Max had given up trying to pressure him into anything by July. Partly because Alec was as slippery as an eel when it came to getting out of something he didn't want to be part of. And partly because she was just tired. She couldn't take any more rejections. She told herself that on the very, very, very remote chance she ever got pregnant again, she was just gonna take off into the forest and deal with it herself, because she had a feeling a lot of his anxiety was stemming from the birth. Honestly, she hardly ever thought about it anymore. And even when she did think about it, Jaime was more than worth a few vague memories of pain.

Speaking of the dark-haired love of her life, he was a little over five months old. And he did not like the word no. At all. Tell him no and all cooing and oohing would stop for a few good minutes, whether it was because of anger or unhappiness, there was no telling. Alec would have placed bets that the kid didn't even know what the word meant, but was just reacting to the strong negative emphasis placed upon it. NO, do not pull mommy's hair. NO, daddy does not want fingers up his nose, thank you. NO, absolutely no biting allowed… Not that the word or the negative emphasis upon it ever stopped Jaime from repeating the offense once everything was forgotten, but just the same…

It was the beginning of July and she'd just put Jaime down for his nap. She offered Alec a tight smile as she moved past him, intent upon a much needed shower. Then blinked as she felt him catch her elbow and found herself whirled around as a flower appeared in his other hand. She gaped in surprise as he tucked the flower into the hair above her ear and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"What's that for?" She asked as surprise was replaced with a smile. She touched the large flower tentatively, almost reverently.

He shrugged. "Some days I like you."

Her eyebrows drew together and she fixed him with a thoughtful frown as her hand fell away. "I'd say thanks but I'm not sure how I should take that…"

"Yeah, I'm a real sweetheart, blah, blah, woof, woof." His hands came up and buried themselves in the hair behind her neck. And the he kissed her, long and hard. When he pulled away from her, she stared wide eyed at him.

"Seriously, what's with you?"

"Jeez, Max, I can't kiss my wife?"

She blushed in pleasure… and then glared at him in suspicion.

He laughed. "And you get on my case about not keeping up with the calendar."

"And?"

"It's July 2nd."

"Point beeeing?"

He shot her a look.

Her eyes widened in instant understanding. "Oh my god! Alec, it's out two year anniversary."

The two year anniversary of being shipwrecked and she'd almost completely overlooked it. But Jaime had decided to use his newfound mobility to crawl through the dirt after a particularly hard rain and seemed to think that the resulting bath time was actually a clever pseudonym for laugh uproariously and splash mommy as much as possible time. And then he'd found fascination in the crab that had snapped its claws warningly at him and then Max was forced to make the crab into lunch for snapping its claws at her son and then it was nap time and-

"Can't believe you forgot," Alec smirked.

"I did not forget," She huffed. "It just… slipped my mind."

"Slipped your mind? Isn't that just another way of saying you forgot?" He asked.

"No." She glanced away, almost guiltily. He smirked. And it was his turn to gape in surprise when she turned the tables on him, her vice like grip pulling him back to her when he started to move away. She smiled up at him.

"Hey,"

His eyes softened from surprise to something else. "Hey back."

"I'm taking a shower," She declared.

His face contorted in confusion. "Um… thanks for the info?" Then he paused, and took in the mud smeared across her front. "Jeez, Max,"

"He's your son." She accused before her face fell into an annoyed grimace. "Probably got his mud fascination from you."

"Me? You're the one that looks like you rolled in it with him."

"I got this from carrying him, jerk." She huffed. "And where have you been, anyway?"

He frowned, "It was my night for Jaime duty, oh ye of the sleeping dead. So I slept in a little." They both turned, walking together to the waterfall.

"Sleeping dead? Me? You do realize-"

"Yeah, yeah, shark DNA, I got it." He waved the info away. "Didn't seem very shark like when Jaime wanted his diaper changed at three a.m.. Wouldn't have been so bad, but he decided it was play time after that and refused to go back to sleep."

"It's not my fault he chose to wake up during one of the two hours of sleep I get," She frowned as they moved thru the rock walls to the pool beyond. "Besides, it was your night anyway. Quit complaining."

"I already said it was my night for Jaime duty." He retaliated. "Quit trying to piss me off."

She stopped to glare at him. "You-"

His shirt was in the dirt, and he was already working on his jeans.

"You?" He looked up. "You, what? You wonderful man, you?"

"Something like that," She agreed, watching him push the frayed pants off his waist. He looked up again, caught her staring and she covered with a questioning gaze. "I'm sorry, did I invite you?"

"Sounded like it to me."

"Oh." She said dumbly, before scrunching up her face in mock confusion. "That was pretty nice of me."

"Figured I should take advantage before the pod people return the real Max." He grinned.

She scowled, not at his comment, but at a deeper rooted issue. "Sure you can trust yourself to be naked around me?"

He couldn't help it. Sometimes the smart ass that lived in his mouth started working before his brain did. "Who said I was gonna be naked?" He asked, hooking his thumb in his boxers.

And came up sputtering for air before he even realized she'd pushed him in the water. He smoothed the water from his hair, from his face, and put his annoyance on pause so he could watch appreciatively as she divested herself of clothing. Plus, it was hard to be annoyed when she placed the flower he'd gotten her so gently to the side.

She slipped into the water, ignoring him, taking her shirt with her. She folded the muddy garment against itself, rubbing it vigorously between her palms.

His hands settled against her waist.

"Not now, Alec." She snapped.

He nuzzled at her neck. But instead of arousal, Max felt righteous indignation rise within her. She pulled away from him. "What the hell are you doing?" He reached for her but she batted his hand away.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Oh, I don't think so." Her laugh was clipped. "Maybe I haven't seen that look in a long time, but I still know what it means."

"And… you're mad about it?" He stopped, at a loss.

"What gives you the right to dictate our sex life?" She hissed. "You've rebuffed me for months, but all of a sudden you want some and I'm supposed to just hop on board? I don't think so, pal."

He blinked. "Did you seriously just say hop-"

"Shut up! Why today?" She asked, shoving him away, giving herself some breathing room. "What's so special about today that all of a sudden you're gonna stop acting like I have venereal disease." She fixed him with a glare. "And don't say our anniversary 'cuz that's so fucking ridiculous, it's not even funny."

He stared at her for a long moment, before shoving a hand roughly through his hair. "Just forget it."

Her wet, muddy shirt hit him full on in the face.

Far from the anger he was expecting, her voice was tired. "How are we supposed to be together if you never let me inside that thick head of yours?"

He splashed some of the grime away and considered just forgetting about this whole messy incident. But truth be told, he was tired of avoiding her. Tired of holding on to his fear when he'd rather be holding on to her. Plus, he would have been better able to handle her anger; he wasn't sure he knew how to react to the bitter defeat in her voice. "Eidetic memory." He finally said.

She rolled her eyes in instant understanding. "That again? I'm telling you, it wasn't that bad."

"Okay, yeah, so maybe the pain you were in makes your memory fuzzy, but I remember everything. The crying and the bleeding and… God, Max, I don't think I can live through another birth."

"You don't think you can live through another birth?" She asked incredulously. She scoffed. "I'm sorry, but the way I remember it, I was the one in labor."

"I could have lost you!" He insisted. "Jesus, Max, if I'd just been a little more careful-"

"We wouldn't have Jaime and in no world would that ever be okay." She finished for him.

"I loved Rachel and after she died… I thought that was it for me, didn't think I 'd ever find…" He sighed, unable to complete that thought. Finally, it was just easier to reiterate his arguments of all those weeks ago. "I can't lose you."

She shifted uncomfortably, as she always did when Rachel was brought up. Partly because a very small teeny tiny part of Max's mind winced whenever 'Rachel' and 'love' were used in the same sentence. Unless, of course, it was on the very improbable chance that Alec would one day say 'Yeah, Rachel was great, but I never knew what love was until you came along.'

Then she forced the thoughts away and got back on track. Max wanted to smack him upside the head. He was such… such… such a frickin' guy. She was fine. Jaime was fine. What the hell was the problem? But she didn't finish the thought aloud. It would be easy to make light of his fears. It would be easy, but it'd also be grossly unfair. Regular people had enough issues with abandonment and loss, but compound that with the twisted, guilty mental mess that Manticore heaped upon you- No, she could understand his issues… Or at least understand them enough that she'd stop giving him shit about it. Especially now that it seemed he'd finally worked through it all on his own.

He waited for her to yell at him, to tell him to get over it already. He was surprised when her arms snaked around his neck. "So," She asked. "Does this mean we're cool, now?"

It was of course then that Alec remembered that Max was very much of the naked. Funny how just talking to her was more consuming than sex could ever be. His smile became devilish. "If by cool you mean-"

She cut him off before he could throw out some suave, macho euphemism for sex. "Yeah, thanks honey, but I still don't feel like it."

"Are you kidding me?"

Ahh, the reins of power, back where they belong.

Still, she made it up to him that night.

Max insisted that Jaime looked like him. Alec didn't see it. Course, he didn't see how babies could resemble anyone other than another baby with their wide eyes and soft round faces.

"He's got your nose."

"He's got a cute, roundish thing where a nose should be."

"He's going to get your freckles."

"Yeah, so maybe he's not as dark as you, that doesn't mean he's gonna get my coloring exactly."

"Alec-"

"Max, babies have two distinguishing features." He ticked them off on his fingers helpfully. "Eyes... and hair... or the lack thereof. His eyes…" He trailed off, shrugging. "Yeah, they're not yours but they're not mine either. And the hair? I'm sorry, but my hair's never been that dark, not even after six months in Psy Ops. So by my reckoning, he looks more like you."

"Fine." She conceded.

"But you're wrong," She added as he began to lean back in victory.

Jaime's head swiveled back and forth between the two, almost as if he were trying to follow the conversation. Then he whimpered as something more pressing come up. Two heads swiveled to look at him.

"He's still hungry?"

"He's seven months old, Alec, he's not as small as he used to be."

Alec scratched the back of his head. "We really need to start thinking about supplementing his meals with something."

"You're telling me." She grumbled.

Alec wiped the mashed banana from his face with only a hint of annoyance. Max smiled at him from the doorway.

"It suits you." She grinned.

"You think that means he doesn't like it?" Alec leaned away from his son, who was waving a banana coated hand at his father.

"I think he's just trying to share."

Alec could feel the sticky residue drying against his skin. "How thoughtful." He said blandly. "I vote next time we mash something that comes off easier."

Alec looked back at his son, just in time to get another smear of Jaime's lunch down his face. Jaime's small fingers pressed against Alec's chin and he laughed in delight as Alec sighed in annoyance.

"You can stop laughing now." He wasn't talking to Jaime.

It was actually easier for Max to just leave the room than it was to stop laughing.

The months were just flying by now, propelled merrily along by Jaime's discovery of the world and Max and Alec's shared wonder in all things Jaime. Like most new parents, they delighted in his newfound abilities and emotions. Maybe even more so than some parents, having known so little about children going in to it and having no childhood stories of their own to draw from. In a small way, it was like Jaime was giving them back everything Manticore had taken from them.

That and he had their hearts grasped firmly in his chubby little hand.

Their lives weren't completely consumed by their son, but pretty close. They still had each other and the whole thing of 'holy crap, we're on an island, survival of our family is the number one priority.'

There was something else that'd been consuming Max's mind lately, though.

Max hadn't gone into heat once the entire year. She suspected that it had a lot to do with the hormones that regulated breast feeding. But Jaime was getting older, showing more and more interest in his 'real' food. That and it was getting to a point where Max's body just couldn't keep up with Jaime's stomach. But if it was getting time for him to be weaned and the only thing stopping her from going into heat was breast feeding… Now what?

Would her heat just spring on her one day? Would she and Alec be so engrossed in each other, their surroundings would just fall away? With their child very much a part of their surroundings, that was simply not an option, and hence why Max was putting so much thought into the evil Estrus bitch that shared her body every four months. Max doubted that she'd ever be so consumed by sex that she'd forget about her child… but just the same she didn't want to risk it.

And add all that with the possibly heightened chance of pregnancy…

So she spent many nights counting and recounting the time from her last Heat. But she had no idea how her pregnancy and the following year had affected her cycle… She sighed, letting her head thump against the table.

Stupid Manticore.

What was the frickin' point of an estrus cycle, anyway? As the breeding program, Gem, and now Max had demonstrated, a transgenic could get pregnant at any time, without their heat cycle coming in to play. Without even the benefits of ovulation and menstruation that Ordinaries needed to get pregnant, for that matter.

Max didn't know it, but transgenic reproduction was a scientific oddity that even Manticore hadn't completely figured out. She didn't know it, but she wouldn't have been surprised if she had. She'd decided long ago that the gene-splicers at Manticore were shortsighted nimrods with too much time and money on their hands and if they fact they worked for Manticore wasn't enough, their inability to test their theories and gene combinations before turning them into living, breathing beings was proof enough that they didn't have enough moral or ethical fiber to fill a thimble.

Still… one day her heat would make a comeback.

And she had no idea what she'd do when it did.

More than that, she wanted to smack Alec. Every time she brought it up to him he'd frown, all seriousness, and say, "We'll deal with it when it happens."

That wasn't good enough! She wanted a plan, damnit!

In one of her sulky moods, he was forced to finally concede. "You know, I don't really know what'll happen either."

"But you said-"

"Max, all that stuff I said about heat was frickin' hear-say from other trannies. I've never been with a transgenic during heat."

She paused. "Never?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, for some reason Manticore really frowned upon their soldiers getting busy during the middle of secret ops."

"So-"

"So, we'll deal with it when it happens." He said gently.

Max sighed. It was amazing that something that'd once filled her with excited trepidation now only produced wariness and fear.

Alec was better able to control his own fear. He'd walked away from her twice when they'd been gripped by their DNA. And although it wasn't a pleasant sensation, kind of like tearing something within himself in half, he knew he could do it again. And he'd do it in a heartbeat if it ensured the care and safety of his son.

Before they knew it, it was a new year, and they had more pleasant things to dwell upon. Like the fact that it was January 16th, and Alec was putting up with Max's admittedly tuneless singing once again.

"Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday, little Jaime, happy birthday to you…"

Jaime grinned, completely oblivious to the significance of what was going on, but aware that his parents were grinning like idiots at him and therefore life was good. Chubby hands pounded at the ground as he bounced up and down.

"Look at him, being all cute." Alec rolled his eyes. "C'mon buddy, the McDowell men are not cute. Sexy and dangerous, sure. But cute is just-"

"Shut up, Alec, you know you like it."

"Fair enough." Alec pulled what he'd been hiding behind his back to his front, showing it to Jaime.

Jaime stared in astonishment at the thing that had appeared from behind his father. He reached for it, and Alec relinquished the present to the infant's grasp.

"Aww, Alec, it's so cute."

"Hey," he protested. "What did I say about the cute thing?"

Jaime happily started pounding the wooden boat into the dirt.

Max and Alec exchanged a glance.

"Should I start on a new one now or wait until that one is destroyed?" Alec asked dryly.

"You might wanna start a new one now. He's really goin' to town."

"Ah, that's just 'cuz he doesn't know what it's for." Alec scooped up his son, walking towards the waterfall. He sat at the water's edge, gently pulling the toy from his son's tight grasp. Jaime's lower lip trembled.

"Look Jaime," Alec consoled him, "Look at the boat." He put it gently in the water, keeping his son securely on his knee. Jaime watched in rapt fascination as Alec gently pushed the boat about the water's surface. After a moment, he struggled in his father's grip, reaching for the toy.

"See? He gets it." Alec grinned up at his wife.

"Sure about that?" Max grinned back, watching her son.

Alec looked back to see his son repeatedly dunking the boat beneath the surface.

"Nah, he just wants to work for Sunshine Cruises, that's all."

"Alec!"

Alec smirked. "Yeah, I thought that was a bit of a low blow."

"Ba ba…" Jaime looked up at his father, pointing at the water.

Alec's smirk softened into a smile. "Boat," Alec corrected. Jaime had started babbling a few months ago, throwing consonants around like they were goin' out of style. And since he'd been pointing at things of interest for months, Max and Alec were trying hard to keep up with him, supplying names for the world around him.

"Ba ba," Jaime repeated.

"Boat," Alec repeated.

"Umm, Alec…"

Alec glanced up, to see that the boat had made its way to the waterfall and was caught in the spray. He rolled his eyes, handing Jaime up to his mother before diving into the water. Jaime howled in laughter. Looked like good fun.

"Where's the squirt?"

Max rolled her eyes. "Sleeping next to Ba Ba."

Alec smiled in pleasure. Max cut him off before he could start. "Yeah, yeah, Alec is the undisputed master of gifts." He could have taken offense but he watched how her hand unconsciously glanced across the pocket of her jeans, as though she were checking something.

She always kept the pearl in her front pocket. She didn't like for him to know it, but every so often he'd catch her hand rolling over her jeans, ensuring that small gift remained with her. Alec looked up and caught her eyes. They were soft tonight. The transgenics had spoken those suffocating words only a handful of times since her pregnancy had ended and her hormones had dissipated… but sometimes in her eyes he could see it…

I love you.

Max smiled softly at her husband as he reached for her. Closed her eyes, just breathing, as her face buried into his shoulder and they stood, holding each other, as unified as they could be while remaining separate.

Alec licked dry lips, his arms tightening around her, before asking softly, "Max?"

She breathed him in, "Yeah?"

"If none of this had ever happened…" He spoke softly into her hair. "Would we have made it?"

Her eyes snapped open and her face tightened. What do you say to something like that? She hesitated, unsure.

"I…" Her words died, her eyes darting around, desperately seeking an answer. Would they have gotten together had they stayed in Seattle? She'd thought about it before. And to be honest, she just didn't know. And as much as she wanted to just say 'yes', she didn't know how honest that would be...

He waited patiently for her to collect her thoughts. Before he realized she wasn't collecting her thoughts so much as she was drowning in them. A simple yes or no would have done, yes being the preferable of the two. He sighed. "Just forget it," He kissed the top of the head and released her, stepping away.

And though she couldn't help that her mind had stalled when she'd been put on the spot, Max sort of felt like she'd failed him.

End Chapter 10